NWA (ECW) Hardcore Heaven (August 1994)

 

Original Airdate: August 13, 1994

From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Your Host is Joey Styles

Opening Match: Rockin' Rebel v Hack Meyers: Hack wins a slugfest to start, and hits a guillotine legdrop. Backdrop, but Rebel counters with a swinging neckbreaker, and he puts the boots to Hack. Rebel with chops in the corner, and a Russian legsweep follows - Rebel letting off a pin attempt. Rebel with a bodyslam, and he dumps Meyers to the outside for a smash into the timekeeper’s table, then a whack with a chair. Inside, Rebel wins a criss cross with a clothesline for two, so Hack goes low on him, and delivers a shoulderblock. They trade off, and Rebel tries a slam, but Hack topples him for the pin at 4:31. Well, we’re off to a start. ½*

Tommy Cairo v Chad Austin: Cairo dominates, working Austin over with little obstacle. Cairo with a clothesline and a backdrop, as Styles declares Austin ‘dead.’ Must have been one hell of a backdrop. Austin manages to reverse Cairo into the corner, but a charge misses, and Chad ends up down on the outside. Chad beats the count, so Cairo side suplexes him, but Austin is in the ropes, so no cover. Cairo stays on him with a powerslam, but a flying spinheel kick misses, and Chad dives with a 2nd rope sunset flip for two. And then Austin hooks a leveraged pin at 4:28. This was fine. I’m not a huge fan of Cairo’s, but he always puts in an effort, and I do appreciate that. ¾*

ECW Television Title No Disqualification Match: Mikey Whipwreck v Jason: Posturing to start, controlled by Jason, but he gloats, and Whipwreck schoolboys for two. Jason cuts him off with a clothesline, but a criss cross allows Whipwreck a bodypress for two. Whipwreck with an atomic drop and a dropkick, then a hiptoss, and an armdrag. Jason pops up, so Mikey keeps going with a bodyslam and a dropkick, so Jason bails. Whipwreck is on him with a baseball slide, and Whipwreck feeds him the guardrail out there, then the apron for dessert. Whipwreck tries a dive from the apron, but Jason blocks with a kick, and he slams Mikey on the timekeeper’s table. Jason dives with a legdrop from the apron to drive Mikey through the table, and Joey quickly declares that Whipwreck is ‘dead.’ He’s like the boy who cried death. Jason powers Whipwreck back into the ring, where he uses a snapmare to set up a kneedrop. Jason tags him with a backelbow for two, and a dropkick follows. Jason with a snapmare into a chinlock, but Mikey escapes, so Jason puts him back down with a big boot. Back to the chinlock, but Whipwreck escapes again, and hooks a sunset flip for two. A crucifix gets two, and a cradle for two. Schoolboy for two, and a bodypress is worth two. Rollup, but Jason blocks, so Mikey plays possum, and hooks an inside cradle - they each reverse each other through it a bunch of times for two counts, and Jason is up first with an enzuigiri. That allows Jason a gutwrench powerbomb, and he adds an elbowdrop for two. Jason dumps him over the top with a suplex, but a whip into the rail gets reversed, and Mikey uses a chair out there. Whipwreck tries a flying bodypress on the way back in, but Jason ducks it. The challenger grabs a chair, but misses a swing. Mikey grabs it, and tags Jason with it, but the referee eats it too, and there’s no one to count. But then the groggy referee stumbles over and counts the pin at 11:25. That draws the Pitbulls out to beat Mikey up, and they put Jason on top, with the still groggy official counting another pin at 12:11. Apparently the referee passed out while counting the first pin, and didn’t realize he’d counted it, so it didn’t count. This was actually a good match, though the finish was really bad. I don’t mind those ‘sports entertainment’ type finishes, but they didn’t do a good job of getting it across even for the home audience, so I can only imagine how confusing it would have been for the live crowd. Jimmy Snuka and Tazmaniac then run out to attack the Pitbulls, and we go right into the next match. ** ¾ 

The Pitbulls v Jimmy Snuka and Tazmaniac: They blitz them, and put this away at 0:40. Okay then. And the idiot crowd cheers like… idiots… as they get robbed of the match they’d paid to see. DUD

Mr. Hughes v 911: They do some measuring to start, and Hughes wins a slugfest, but 911 doesn’t go down. Hughes hits him with a scrapbuster, but it only gets two, and 911 starts no-selling. Hughes hammers to no response, so he goes low, and that gets 911’s attention. Hughes tries another scrapbuster, but 911 counters to the chokeslam at 3:37. DUD

Singapore Cane Match: Sandman v Tommy Dreamer: Tommy sneaks into the ring during the entrances, and beats Sandman down with the cane. Woman tries to respond, so Dreamer sexually assaults her, then turns back to beating on Sandman, drawing blood. Woman goes after him again, so Dreamer pushes her aside, and takes out the referee in the process, and that’s a DQ at 1:10. Dreamer responds by beating up the ring announcer, as the weird booking continues. DUD

ECW Tag Team Title Baseball Brawl Match: Public Enemy v Ian Rotten and Axl Rotten: Som the idea here is that, if you knock your opponent out for a ten count, you get to use a baseball bat. The champs beat up the ECW superfan with the Hawaiian shirt, and even rip off his signature hat! They also cut a very non-PG promo on the crowd. So, big brawl, as you can imagine. Bad Breed manage to put the Enemy down for the ten count at 11:26, and now the bat is in play! They don’t bother actually explaining that to the crowd, though, and have to stop and explain the rules mid-match. These fans used to shit all over the WWF and WCW, but it’s not like this promotion was without fault. Rocco Rock manages a flying somersault senton splash to retain at 17:31. Not my cup of tea, but it was genuinely chaotic, especially compared to the more sanitized versions of these types of matches. ¾*

Sabu v 2 Cold Scorpio: Sabu shoots for takedowns, but Scorpio manages to block him each go. Scorpio gets an armbar, and shifts to a crucifix cradle for two. Back to a vertical base, and Sabu manages a takedown. He uses a bodyslam to set up a slingshot legdrop, but Scorpio dodges. Scorpio grabs a standing side-headlock, but Sabu forces a criss cross, only to get dropkicked out of the ring. Scorpio chases after him out there, and wins a slugfest on the floor, so Sabu tries a sunset bomb off the apron, but wipes out. Scorpio blasts him with a baseball slide, and a plancha follows. Scorpio with a slingshot splash for two, and he works a surfboard, but can’t hold it long enough to really try for the submission. Scorpio with a nasty piledriver, and a bodyslam sets up a somersault legdrop for two. Scorpio tries a flying splash, but Sabu gets his knees up to block, and that allows Sabu a slingshot moonsault for two. Sabu adds a slingshot legdrop for two, and he grabs an armbar. Scorpio looks to counter, so Sabu throws a kick, and hooks a (really bad) rana. Scorpio with a powerbomb for two, but a jumping forearm misses, and Scorpio winds up on the outside. Sabu dives after him with a somersault plancha, but Scorpio blocks a shot into the timekeeper’s table. Sabu responds with a tope into the rail, and he whips Scorpio into it next. Sabu grabs a chair to beat on Scorpio with a bit, and he tries another tope, but misses, and goes through the timekeeper’s table. Scorpio beats on him with the chair, and he takes him in for a tombstone on the chair, but Sabu reverses for two. Sabu with a flying moonsault, but Scorpio dodges, and delivers a side suplex. That allows Scorpio a slingshot somersault splash for two, and a bodyslam sets up a flying twisting somersault legdrop, but it only gets two. Scorpio goes up again with a flying moonsault, but Sabu dodges, and dives with a flying somersault senton. A baseball slide knocks Scorpio out of the ring, and Sabu follows for a piledriver on the floor. 911 puts Scorpio on a table for Sabu to put through with a dive, and 911 rolls them both back in so Sabu can cover, but Scorpio gets a shoulder up at two. Both guys stagger for a slugfest, and Scorpio gets the better of it, into a floatover DDT. Scorpio cradles for two, but Sabu is up with a dropkick, and he uses a slingshot legdrop on a chair for the pin at 18:32. They did a lot here, but the transitions were terrible, and there wasn’t really much psychology or storytelling. Just stuff. It was engaging, though. ** ¼ 

Main Event: Terry Funk v Cactus Jack: Jack cuts a promo before the match, deriding all the violence on the show, and asking Funk for a scientific matchup in the name of ‘family entertainment.’ Jack pops him with a big chop out of the initial lockup, but then backs off, and they have a handshake. Jack with another pair of chops, so Funk gets mad, and responds in kind, then dumps him to the outside. Funk follows to beat on Jack with a piece of the broken timekeeper’s table, and he feeds him the rail. They spill into the crowd for a brawl, and Jack hits a somersault senton out there, before grabbing a chair, and going to town. Back to the ring, Jack cross corner whips him, and delivers a bulldog on the rebound. Jack tries a bodypress from there, but misses, and ends up with his head tied in the ropes. Funk helps him out by punching him until he falls loose, and Terry goes to the outside to keep hammering. Funk feeds him the post out there, so Public Enemy pop out, and jump him. They go to work on Terry, and try to push Jack on top for the pin, but Cactus doesn’t want it. They respond by attacking him, and beating him so badly that they can dump his body onto Funk’s. The referee refuses to count, so they count the ‘pin’ themselves, and then go back to beating both guys up - the match called off at 6:16. They eventually leave, so Funk and Jack decide to go looking for them, and they drag them out from the dressing room. Working together, Funk and Jack beat the piss out of the tag champs, and we get the famous scene where Terry calls for a chair, and half the building responds - leading to Public Enemy buried under a pile of them! I remember seeing a shot of that in an Apter mag in 1994, and thinking it looked like the craziest thing I’d ever seen - especially since everything else I’d seen had been the WWF and WCW. ¼*

BUExperience: I enjoyed aspects of this, and I would call it overall entertaining, even if not everything worked.

**