- The HITMAN383 Rant for WCW Slamboree 1996. This one has
been requested many times over, but I’ve never actually seen this show … so I
don’t know what to expect. Let’s give it a shot, eh? (This was originally written in late
2000)
- BTW, I use this system: ***** - Excellent, **** - Great,
*** - Good, **- Okay, * - Decent, DUD - Awful.
- Live from Baton
Rouge, Louisiana.
- Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, and Bobby
Heenan. Heenan seems drunk.
- Crappy, WCW style, video package to start. (Even
to their dying day, WCW never really excelled at opening or recap video
packages like the WWF did. As far as the openings, maybe they would have
benefitted from hiring a Vince McMahon sound-alike, and having him scream about
the card. That would’ve been interesting )
- This is the show that featured two rounds of the lethal
lottery, leading to a battle royal to declare the “Lord of the Ring.”
- Opening Match: Lethal Lottery, Round One: Animal and
Booker T vs. Hawk and Lex Luger: The Warriors and Luger look like they
don’t really want to be here. Do you blame them? (Pretty sure Lex was very happy
to be there, given that he’d already burned his bridges with McMahon, and
practically had to beg for this job ) Luger starts with Animal, and
they stall forever. Finally they start up, and Luger hammers the crap out of
him, and hits a powerslam. He doesn’t follow up, however, and rests in the
corner. What a bum. Animal takes offense to that, and powerslams him, then hits
a flying shoulderblock. Luger catches him coming off the ropes, and hits a
suplex, but Animal no sells then tags Booker. The future world champ kicks Lex
down, and hits a Harlem sidekick (to a big
pop) for two. Unfortunately, he goes to the chinlock right after, and decides
to suck by getting it on very, very loosely. Booker breaks, and gets a two
count, which Hawk saves. Luger take offense to that, and attacks Hawk, and it
all breaks down with a 4 man brawl (with the Warriors teaming up, of course),
and they beat on Lex and Booker to some big ass pops. Unfortunately, it ends in
a double countout at 6:54. What the hell was that? Hawk & Animal never ever
locked up! (Why even book a Lethal Lottery if you’re not going to do a
partner-against-partner payoff? That’s the whole draw ) Plus a double
C/O ending? Could they have picked a worse opener, with less of a point? DUD.
- Lethal Lottery, Round One: Public Enemy vs. Chris
Benoit and Kevin Sullivan: Sullivan is announced from “The Iron Gates of
Fate.” They couldn’t even say HELL? Plus what a stupid concept for a “home
town” anyway! What a lousy company WCW is! (I actually dig these bits of silliness more
now, with nostalgia factored in. But yeah, that was another thing the WWF never
really did, outside of the standard ‘parts unknown’ from time to time )It’s
almost as bad as “Hailing from WCW Special Forces,” which if you don’t know
about, but glad. (Exactly the location I have fond, nostalgic memories for now) Benoit
starts with Rocko, and they have a slap fest, and then Rocko pounds him into the
corner. Very slowly. Rocko hits a flying headscissors, but Benoit gets pissed
at someone stealing his workrate thunder, and shoves him. It leads to an epic
posedown. How exciting. Rocko hits a rana to follow the posing, and tries
again, but Benoit powerbombs him, then pounds on him while yelling, “you work
like a jobber, got that?” He tags Kevin in, and we’ve got another brawl on the
floor. Great. Sullivan gets put on a table, and Rocko tries to dive out at him,
but the Chris stops it. Benoit takes a suplex to the floor, and more brawling
occurs out there. Benoit gets put on the table this time, and P.E. dive out
through it, which gets them a three count inside the ring at 4:43. Eh. ¼*.
- Lethal Lottery, Round One: Sgt. Craig Pittman and Scott
Steiner vs. Rick Steiner and The Booty Man: The Booty Man is Brutus
Beefcake in a Hogan-influenced character. Don’t ask … please don’t ask! (See,
now this one I don’t have any nostalgic connection to. It still sucks)
The only plus about him is Kimberly. Also, for reference, this is during the
“face” period is Pittman’s WCW stint. Booty starts with Pittman, and I have GOT
TO KNOW: Who the HELL thought any money would come about with a wrestler named
after your ass? I mean, did they sit around going, “Hey, I bet if we name Ed
the “Booty Man” the kids will go NUTS! They’ll love the idea that the word
“Booty” is there, because they’ll be thinkin’ ‘hey, isn’t it fun to swear
without saying ass?’ and we’ll make millions!” Somehow, I bet that actually
happened. (Sounds about right, given who was running things, actually)
They wrestle around for a while, and Craig does a “headbutt” while misses by
three feet, and tags Scott. Booty takes him down with a kneelift, but Scott
comes back with a tigerdiver, and tags out. The Sarg takes it to Booty, so
Booty tags, and Rick hits a big powerslam. Pittman hits a BIG German suplex,
but nearly kills Rick, as he lands right on his head in an ugly moment. They
use a wristlock for a bit to let him recover, and then Scott gets tagged in. Scott
outwrestles Rick to start, and it looks SO weird to see Scott as a technical
master, and not “Big Poppa Pump.” They do a bunch of amateur wrestling holds,
and positions until Scott hits a big side suplex. A criss cross leads to a big
Steinerline by Rick, but Scott rolls him up for two. They exchange full
nelsons, and Rick hits a suplex out of his. Scott catches Rick up top, and side
suplexes him off, allowing him to tag Booty. Booty hurts his shoulder on the
post, so Scott tags Craig, who hooks the “Code Red” which is a cross arm bar.
Booty tags out, from within the hold, and Rick quickly hits a German suplex on
Pittman for the win at 8:21. Not terrible or anything. * for the Rick/Scott
stuff.
- Lethal Lottery, Round One: Steve Regal and Dave Taylor
vs. Jim Duggan and V.K. Wallstreet: Wallstreet is better known as “IRS,”
and even has some rip off Ted DiBiase music. Also, because this is WCW, while
Regal and Taylor
are making their entrance, they get about ¼ of the way to the ring, and
Duggan’s music starts. I’ve always hated that about WCW. The wrestlers never
actually GET to the ring before the other guy’s music starts. Lousy
hillbillies. (I don’t know why I picked this specific review to note all of these
little differences between the WWF and WCW, but that music thing was a pet
peeve of mine for years ) Regal is HILARIOUS, too, complaining of a
broken nail before we get underway. Complete with facial expressions. Gold,
just gold. He starts with Duggan, and refuses to lock up. Rather, he wants to
show off his biceps. I love Regal. A criss cross leads to a series of Duggan
clotheslines, leading to both guys tagging. They wrestle around briefly, and
Steve gets tagged back in. They trade uppercuts, and Regal bails, allowing
Wallstreet to tag. Duggan gets caught in the wrong part of town, and beaten on,
but he shoulderblocks Regal down. Duggan is a house of fire (!) now, clearing
everyone out. He then tapes up his fist, and bops Taylor on the head for the pin at 3:46. Regal
is hilarious, but this match gave me a stomachache. DUD. I hate Duggan so much.
- Lethal Lottery, Round One: Dick Slater and Bobby Eaton
vs. Alex Wright and The Disco Inferno: Who would have thought that 4 years
later Disco and Wright would be a REAL team, and not a “randomly selected” team.
Actually, that’s probably how WCW paired them up in the future too. “Hey, we
have two guys … they both dance. Let’s make ‘em a team! It can’t lose!” (Again,
that probably is accurate ) Disco opens up with Slater, and Disco
decides it’s time to dance! It backfires, as the hick pounds him, so Alex gets
tagged in. Dick tags Bobby, and Wright takes it to him, and hits a bunch of
highflying stuff, getting two off a spin heel kick. Slater tags back in, and
hits a neckbreaker on Wright, and tries a powerbomb, but Alex backdrops out.
Disco gets tagged, and takes everyone down, and now we have a four-man brawl,
won by Disco/Wright. To celebrate, Disco dances, so Slater takes off his boot
and bops Disco on the head for the pin at 2:55. It was getting good, but it was
too short to get anywhere. **.
- Lethal Lottery, Round One: Diamond Dallas Page and The Barbarian vs. Hugh Morrus
and Meng: Morrus is known as “General Rection” today. This is also before
Page got to be pretty good. DDP starts with Hugh, and headlocks him, but Morrus
shoulderblocks him out. He tries to slingshot at him, but Dallas moves, and Hugh splats. Back inside
Page hits a lariat for two, and tags the Barbarian. Hugh doesn’t have much luck
with him, so he tags Meng. Meng and Barbie have a little spot call session, and
then Barbie hits a shoulderblock. They stager around for a while longer, and
then Page runs in and drops in on Meng. Barbarian is still legal, however, so
he has to take on Hugh, who hits a monster-flying elbow for two. He goes up again,
but Page crotches him, allowing Barbarian to belly to belly superplex him for
two. Meng helps Hugh out, leaving Barbie down, so Hugh hits a moonsault for
two. A big brawl occurs, and both Faces of Fear get a cover (Meng on Page, and
Barbarian on Hugh) which ends up in a fall for both sides at 5:16. The result
is Page/Barbie advancing because DDP’s foot was under the bottom rope. Oh well.
Fun match, as Page was becoming pretty cool. **.
- Lethal Lottery, Round One: Big Bubba and Stevie Ray vs.
Fire and Ice: Fire and Ice are Scott Norton and Ice Train. Big Bubba is the
Big Bossman. Stevie starts with Norton, and Ray whoops him. Scott takes control
and tries to ram him, but hits Ray’s boot a couple times instead. Bubba
(dressed like a gay biker) gets tagged in, and hits a slam for two. Norton
tries to do the same, but just kind of gets him up and lets him fall. Bad spot.
Ice Train gets tagged in, and hits a Banzai Drop type move for two, and they
both go down off a double clothesline. Ice tags Scott, who whomps Bubba, but
Stevie helps out. It backfires, as a miscommunication spot allows Fire and Ice
a double clothesline on Bubba for the pin at 3:31. I usually don’t like
power/power matches, and this is no exception. DUD. (I actually DO like power/power matches now.
This one still sucks, though)
- Lethal Lottery, Round One: Eddie Guerrero and Arn
Anderson vs. Ric Flair and Randy Savage: Weird to see Eddie as a bouncing
babyface. This was a big deal at the time, as Savage and Flair were in the
midst of a super-hot feud over Liz, which had everyone excited. Unfortunately,
it all ended when the nWo began about a month later. I guess it all led to a
long ratings win streak, but this feud was still really cool at the time. Flair
outsmarts Savage, and kicks his ass to start, as Arn and Eddie fight. I guess
the word “team” means nothing to these four. Officially, Ric opens up with
Eddie and Guerrero beats on him. Woman and Liz wonder on out after this, to be
in Flair’s corner. Eddie is still in control with a series of dropkicks, but
Flair outsmarts him and rakes the eyes. Flair tags Savage in (by elbowing him
to the head), and then forces Eddie to tag Anderson. Arn KILLS Savage, but Randy comes
back and we have a fight! The crowd is REALLY hot, too. Arn hits a spinebuster
for two, and Savage wins a slugfest. Both guys tag, and instead of going to
Eddie, Flair attacks Savage! Eddie stops that, and chops away, then hits a
tornado DDT. You go Eddie! Randy runs in and kills Flair, as Anderson hits a DDT on Guerrero. This is just
nuts! Arn pulls Savage to the floor, and beats him out there, allowing Ric the
easy pin on Eddie at 4:25. Afterwards, Arn and Flair hold Savage on the floor
for Liz to slap, and Arn DDT’s him out there. The match itself was about **, if
that, but was just a bunch of fun, and heated as hell.
- That was the end of round one, which leaves: Public Enemy,
Rick & Booty, Duggan & Wallstreet, Slater & Eaton, Page &
Barbarian, Flair & Savage, and finally, Fire & Ice (who get a bye due
to the opener’s double count-out.) (The Lethal Lottery isn’t a bad concept, but
this 1996 version is just so, so long)
- WCW Cruiserweight Title Match: Dean Malenko vs. Brad
Armstrong: Dean was fresh off winning the title on WCW Saturday Night, one
week before this. When that show still mattered. Or existed, for that matter. (It
actually happened on Worldwide but whatever, facts ) They mat wrestle
to start, and Brad hits an enzuguri, as the crowd is absolutely gone. He
follows with a dropkick (which barely connects), and Dean-o bails. He was truly
the “Ice Man” at this point, too, showing no emotion whatsoever. Back inside,
Malenko hits a swift dropkick to the knee, and works on it by ramming it to the
post. Dean keeps the hurt on, working the knee with a couple different holds.
He hooks Brad in the Tree of Woe, and then hits a dropkick to the knee, while
he was in it! That was just plain sweet. More knee working by the Dean, and he
tries a pump splash, but hits the foot. Brad pounds on him for a bit (selling
the knee injury), and hits a powerslam, followed by a missile dropkick. He
forgets the knee injury now, and hooks the Texas Cloverleaf (Dean’s own hold),
but Malenko makes the ropes. They have a slugfest on the top rope, which Dean
wins, and he hits a gut buster from the top for the pin at 8:26. Very solid
psychology, but very dull for the most part. ** ¼, but dull. Bobby’s take on
Cruiserweight wrestling: “This is the way it’s gonna be, quiet arena’s, no one
makes any noise, because they’re watching wrestling!” I’m pretty sure Bobby’s
drunk, kids.
- Lethal Lottery, Round Two: Dick Slater and Bobby Eaton
vs. Jim Duggan and V.K. Wallstreet: This starts off as Duggan beats on
Wallstreet. I guess he’s too dumb to know which guy is his partner. They
shortly team up to take out the other team, but only for a moment, as they
fight again. Finally, Wallstreet goes with Bobby, and backdrops him. V.K. goes
to his favorite hold, the abdominal stretch. It breaks up fast, as Slater comes
in, and Duggan is tagged. This match is a mess. Jim clobbers everyone, and
takes Dick down with a clothesline for two, then hooks a chinlock. Shit, you’ve
been in there for ONE MINUTE, and you need a rest hold? Jim hits a
shoulderblock, and tags out, as does Slater. Wallstreet gets slammed by Eaton,
however, and Bobby goes up top, only to get slammed off. Duggan hits V.K. once
again, which allows Eaton an easy schoolboy for the pin at 4:08. Total crap
match, - ¼*. Only Duggan and Wallstreet could take a four-minute tag match into
negative stars.
- Lethal Lottery, Round Two: Public Enemy vs. Ric Flair
and Randy Savage: Savage’s music plays, but he doesn’t come out, presumably
from the beating he took in the last match. Flair comes out with the girls, and
Liz throws Savage’s money (from the divorce) into the crowd, which prompts
Savage to run out and almost kill Flair, which draws out like 100 security
guys, and the AMERICAN MALES! Oh my G-D, this is the greatest moment ever! Damn
this was a good feud! Lousy Hogan, and his nWo. The ref. awards the match to
P.E. for obvious reasons, at 00:00. DUD. (If Savage really wanted to show him, he
should have just let Public Enemy destroy him 2-on-1, then attack him
afterwards. But, if it spares us having to watch PE wrestle, this is the better
booking call)
- Lethal Lottery, Round Two: Diamond Dallas Page and The Barbarian vs. Rick
Steiner and The Booty Man: This is the final Lethal Lottery match,
thankfully. Page taunts real-life wife Kimberly to start, prompting Booty Man
to attack him and knock him to the outside. Gee, DDP lost a LOT
of weight between 1994 and this show. Rick gets tagged, and hits a sort-of
backdrop/powerslam combo for two. It’s like he was going for a powerslam, but
changed his mind mid-way through. Rick goes for a ten-punch count, but Page
stops it and hits a hotshot. He tags Barbie in, who takes a suplex by Rick, who
then hits a belly to belly superplex. He hits a clothesline for two, but gets
bopped on the head off a backdrop attempt. Barbarian hits a powerbomb for two,
and hooks a front facelock. He lets off and keeps pounding, but takes a
desperation hot shot. Booty gets tagged in, and almost pins Barbie, but Page
stops it at two. Booty then rolls Barbie up, and has him again, but again DDP
stops it and allows the Barbarian to get the pin at 4:52. Page and Barbarian
work well as a team, actually. Pretty decent, ¾*.
- Battle Bowl looks like this: Slater, Eaton, Public Enemy,
DDP, Barbarian, Fire & Ice. OOOOOOH! No matter WHO wins, that Great
American Bash title match will draw TONS of money! (You know, the promised title
match that never happened. Actually that’s another WWF v WCW flaw – WCW often
failed to deliver promised title shots )
- WCW US
Title Match: Konnan vs. Jushin Liger: You must be asking yourself: Konnan …
US Champ? Well the deal was Konnan brought in a bunch of cruiserweights to WCW
so they gave him the US
title as a reward. They also are giving Liger a shot, which I like, even if he
had no chance of winning the title here. (Who would have thought at the time that
Liger would turn up on a WWE NXT PPV nearly twenty years later? Even weirder:
the main event of this show would be rehashed on RAW that same year )
This isn’t the “K-Dogg” Konnan yet, but rather “Mexican Superstar” Konnan, with
goofy mask. He’s also wearing some Johnny B. Badd-esque tights. They do some
nice wrestling to start off, doing some RVD quality flipping. Konnan gets
knocked outside, so Liger baseball slides him to the rail, and then hits a
slingshot dive to the floor. Liger hits a brainbuster for two, and Mike Tenay
(who joined the commentators for this) acts all geeky telling us about Japanese
cartoon shows that Liger is on. I’ll give him credit though, he knows his
stuff. They go to the mat of a bit (a long bit), as Liger gets him in a bow and
arrow, then hammers away on Konnan for being such a dumb ass. They have a
fruity little slap fest, and Jushin hits a superplex. He goes upstairs to
follow up, and hits a big splash for two. Liger dropkicks Konnan to the floor,
and dives out from the top, but Konnan catches him with a kick to the knee. He
tries to suplex Liger back in, but he flips out of it and hits a side suplex.
He hits a fisherman buster for two, as Tony thinks the name “fisherman buster”
is silly. Tenay is quiet after that stupidity. Konnan almost pins him with a
roll up (to a big pop), and then tries the Splash Mountain,
but Liger escapes and rolls him up for two. Small package for two. Liger bomb
for two, and he slams Konnan. He dives off the top, but eats foot, and Konnan
hits Splash Mountain for the win at 9:33. The early
going was a bit dull, but this was a solid match, ** ¾.
- Mean Gene brings out Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Liz and
Woman. Flair tells us all that Savage is a nut, and lets as all know he’s gonna
get some from Liz and Woman tonight. He then makes fun of Steve McMichaels, and
say’s that Mongo’s wife won’t leave him alone, and wants him bad. His wife at
the time was the WWF’s Debra, so I guess now Steve Austin has to kick Flair’s
ass. Anyway, Mongo comes out, and both sides toss insults around. It all leads
to Flair and Anderson
challenging Steve and any partner to a tag match at the Great American Bash.
Mongo accepts, so Ric asks him, mockingly, “Who’s you’re partner gonna be,
Lawrence Taylor?” Ouch. It isn’t L.T., however, it’s Kevin Greene, and they say
they’re gonna settle it at the Bash.
- Eight Man Battle
Bowl Battle Royal: This is for the Lord of the Ring, and is with Scott
Norton, Ice Train, Dick Slater, Bobby Eaton, Public Enemy, DDP, and the
Barbarian. This starts off like any other battle royal, and as someone goes for
DDP, Page uses the Barbarian as a shield, and allows him to take the
punishment. It backfires, as Barbie pounds him too. Page gets knocked out by
the Barbarian, and two feet hit, but the ref. doesn’t see it, so Page stay’s
in. Oh well. Hey, why the hell is the ref. IN the ring during a battle royal?
Are the wrestlers too dumb to remember who wins, so the ref. stays in to remind
them? (I believe that was because pinfalls counted in this one, though that
is still odd in the visual sense ) Rocko gets tossed, and then Eaton
goes out by Slater. Dick gets tossed too, and brawls with Eaton. Norton goes
out, and Ice Train powerslams everyone in there! Final Four: Page, Barbie,
Ice Train, Johnny Grunge. Page Diamond Cuts everyone involved, and pins
Johnny, then Ice Train, and then cover’s Barbie but only gets two. I guess pins
count as elimination’s too. (See?) Page misses a charge to the
corner, and Barbie rolls him up for two. Why do a heel/heel finals? The
Barbarian hits a VERY stiff tombstone, for a dramatic two. Barbie hooks a
sleeper, but Page breaks with the Flair kick, and calls for the Diamond Cutter.
He gets caught, however, and powerbombed (hard) for two. Barbarian slams him,
and goes upstairs but misses a flying headbutt. Page hits a Diamond Cutter as a
result, and gets the pin at 9:37, to win the Battle Bowl ring, and earn a title
shot at the Great American Bash. Of course, this is WCW, and he never actually
GOT that title shot. Much like some “World War 3” winners, and Ric Flair
earlier this year at the GAB. The match was nothing special, ¾*.
- The Giant cuts a promo in the back on Sting. He’s gonna
hurt him, don’t ya know?
- Main Event, WCW World Title Match: The Giant vs. Sting: Sting
has Luger with him here, who will be handcuffed to Jimmy Hart (Giant’s manager)
so he can’t interfere. See, at the time, everyone was worried that Luger wasn’t
loyal and would turn on Sting (due to being with the DOD before), but on Nitro
he took a slam through a table by the Giant which was like a “badge of honor”
that he was trustworthy. They do a big criss cross to start, and Sting tries a
big cross body, but bounces off him like a rubber ball. Cool spot. They have a
staredown, and the Stinger takes it to the big guy, trying everything he knows
to knock him over. It doesn’t work, however, so Sting bails out. He climbs back
in, and hits an enzuguri on the Giant, then tries a slam, but Wight topples on
him. Paul whomps on him for a while, and hits a weak back elbow. They have a
slugfest, easily won by the Giant, and he catches him with a low blow. What a
slow moving match. Paul hooks a body scissors in, and uses the ropes for
leverage. They break it, and Paul hurls Sting into mid-isle in an absolutely
amazing visual. Paul tries to chokeslam Sting into a conveniently placed dining
table (??),(I think that had to do with the Flair/Savage/Liz angle ) but
Lex lays Hart on it so the Giant won’t drop him. It works and they go back to
the ring. The big guy tries to dropkick Sting, but Luger moves him, and Wight
misses. Sting accidentally knocks the ref. out (thinking it was Giant), (How
do you make THAT mistake? ) and hits the Stinger Splash. He keeps
hammering him, but Paul grabs Luger by the throat, so Sting uses four more
Stinger Splashes to break. Giant is down, and Sting hits a monster splash from
the top for a dramatic two. He goes up again and hits another suicide splash,
and then hooks the Death Lock. It’s over, but Luger/Hart bash his head in with
the mega-phone (we couldn’t tell exactly who did it), so Giant chokeslams him
for the pin at 10:40. Started off hot, got slow, and ended very hot. Call it,
** ½. (Again, I still can’t believe that they actually re-ran this match, in another
promotion no less, nearly twenty years later )
- The announcers speculate on whether Luger turned on Sting,
or it was an accident, and hype NITRO.
- Bottom Line: Well, a pretty dull show. Not mind
blowingly bad, but dull nonetheless. The absence of Hulk Hogan was nice, and
this was kind of the last hurrah of pre-nWo WCW, as Scott Hall and Kevin Nash
would start the “invasion” very shortly after this show, thus spoiling the
monster Flair/Savage feud that WCW had going here. They tried hard, but the
Lethal Lottery has never really worked out, and this was no different. The
wrestling was pretty dull for the most part, with only a few matches of any
interest (the best thing at ** ¾), and that can ALWAYS hurt any show. And as
good as the Flair/Savage angle was (even if it all ended up being for nothing),
it can’t save Slamboree 1996.
Recommendation to Avoid, as the whole show was very
pointless in the overall scheme of what was yet to come.
(It is kind of an interesting show in that it’s the last pre nWo-era pay
per view in WCW history (though, you could sort of count the Great American
Bash in as well, since Hall and Nash only made a cameo), which changed everything
forever in both WCW, the Monday Night Wars, and wrestling in general )
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