WWE Hell in a Cell (October 2013)

So, I attended WWE Hell in a Cell tonight in Miami, and thought I would do a quickie BUExperience on the show. This won’t be a full review, but just based on some notes I took from the arena, and any additional thoughts from memory. Match times are via Wikipedia.

From Miami, Florida; Your Host is me, ‘cause I ain’t talkin' about TV.


First, as of 24 hours before show time, I was able to find blocks of tickets still available on Ticketmaster. I’m not talking one seat here, one seat there… you could find bunches together pretty much anywhere in the arena – and at all price levels. Once there, I saw that they scaled off a large portion of the building (the upper levels were closed off on every side other than where the hard camera was pointed, as well as many other sections), and they seemed to build the set closer to the ring than they might have if they sold more seats.

This was my first live event since a Smackdown taping back in the spring of 2002, and though I don’t follow the current product as closely as I did back then, I was still very excited about getting to see the show live. For those curious, I sat in section 113 – which is facing towards the entrance set.

The crowd was a good mix of families and people my age (late 20s/early 30s). The best sign I saw was one calling for the return of Disco Inferno – though not many people got it, and I heard the father sitting next to me explain to his young son that it was referencing a song from the 70s. Sigh.

I did have a chance to briefly meet Kaitlyn before the show (she was doing some pregame show thing near where I was sitting, and was strolling around the hallways). She never really stood out to me on TV, but damn she is stunning in real life. Hootchie mama. 
 
As I noted, I haven’t been to a live show in over eleven years. One thing I noticed was how much ring maintenance has changed. Throughout the show, the ring crew actually rolled up and removed the ring mat between matches, revealing another layer beneath that replaced the previous mat. I don’t know when this became commonplace (probably something to do with HD), but they did this some four times during the show, which I found strange. Certainly a far cry from some of the mats I grew up with during the 90s.

Kickoff Show: Damien Sandow v Kofi Kingston: I wasn’t paying much attention to this, since the crowd was still filing in, and I had to hit the bathroom after meeting Kaitlyn. To masturbate. With my dick. Kingston busted out some neat spots, and the crowd was pretty solidly behind him, but I just wasn’t paying attention. Didn’t look like I missed much, and Sandow got the victory at 7:02.

Opening WWE Tag Team Title Triple Threat Match: Goldust and Cody Rhodes v The Usos v The Shield: During the entrances, the crowd was pretty firmly behind Shield (their entrances are perfect for them, as the crowd gets really into it). The match was well paced and booked, as the crowd got really behind Goldust during the heat segment, and really behind the Uso’s when they were busting out highspots. In fact, the sequence towards the end where it turned into a six-way spot-filled brawl had the crowd rocking, and the superplex onto the floor was a big highlight. Very good opener from a live perspective, and the crowd was happy to see the champs retain at 14:38.

Mixed Tag Team Match: Fandango and Summer Rae v Great Khali and Natalya: Nobody seemed to care much about this one (the crowd seemed particularly indifferent to Fandango), but luckily it was short, and I like Summer Rae and Natalya, so this was worth another trip to the bathroom after Summer Rae scored the pinfall at 4:39.

WWE United States Title Match: Dean Ambrose v Big E Langston: Really dull match that put the crowd to sleep. It was well placed on the card, but outside of one big dive spot from Langston, this seemed like resthold after resthold, and the countout ending (at 8:43) was especially disappointing. Funny moment after the match, as Langston stood over an unconscious Ambrose forever (to allow TV to go into replays) and got bored waiting for them to get back on him, so he just started watching to big screen waiting for his cue. It looked ridiculous, and makes Ambrose look like a goof.

Handicap Hell in a Cell Match: Ryback and Paul Heyman v CM Punk: Punk was the only babyface of the night I wasn’t behind (‘cause fuck Punk, that’s why), but the crowd was firmly behind him, and he was third most over of the night (behind Cena and Bryan). I loved Heyman riding out in what was the closest thing we’ll ever get to WrestleMania ring carts, but I was bored with this one for the most part. Ryback does look super impressive and intimidating in person, it should be noted, and his music seems like a perfect fit for him. After Punk finished Ryback one-on-one at 13:48, the crowd was happy to see Heyman get his in the end, which he sold brilliantly by playing dead on the roof of the cell until long after the segment was over (WWE officials having to carefully help him down on his scaffold) – so there was that.

The Real Americans v Los Matadores: This was a harmless quickie tag match between the big stuff, but other than the giant swing spot in the middle, I hardly remember this one. The crowd seemed to like Los Matadores, though, and were happy to see them pick up the win at 5:34.

WWE World Heavyweight Title Match: Alberto Del Rio v John Cena: Cena was super over with the Miami crowd – only behind Bryan. This wasn’t a classic, but a real fun match to see live, and I really appreciated that Del Rio went right for the bad elbow without any dicking around – like a proper heel should. One guy in the crowd was so happy when Cena won the title (at 15:04) that he actually started running up and down the stairs for our section in celebration. Security was not happy.

WWE Divas Title Match: AJ Lee v Brie Bella: Well placed on the card, but this was effectively a dose of Ex-Lax, as people bailed for the bathroom, en masse. I was one of the three people who didn’t (already tired from Kaitlyn and Summer Rae, sorry), and this was typical Divas stuff before AJ surprisingly retained at 4:47. I thought Brie had this one locked up, but there were more disappointments to come – don’t worry.

Main Event: WWE Title Hell in a Cell Match: Daniel Bryan v Randy Orton: Bryan was super over here, and people were chanting for him all night – even before the show began. Meanwhile, Orton seemed less hated as a heel, than disliked because he was facing Bryan – and there’s a big, big difference. Shawn Michaels also got a great reaction (until the ending, of course), though Triple H got almost no reaction – good or bad. He got some polite applause, and nothing else. Not to sound like Triple H, but Orton is much more impressive in person than Bryan, for what that’s worth. Bryan looks positively tiny out there – though it’s also worth noting that he’s no smaller than Shawn Michaels. I loved Bryan going ballistic with the chair tosses, and the match was generally good whenever he was on offense, but whenever Orton took over it got real boring, real fast. Everyone was expecting Big Show to help Bryan to the title once Triple H came back out late in the bout, but he never showed up, and Orton killed the crowd as he picked the belt up at 21:44. As you can imagine, the crowd was not happy with that, and one girl sitting a few seats away from me (she looked about middle school age) actually started sobbing when Shawn counted the fall. Way to send the fans home happy, WWE.

BUExperience: You know, listening to the crowd tonight got me thinking back to the last live show I went to, back in 2002. Tonight, you had guys who were over (Bryan, Cena, Punk, and Goldust standing out), but no one actually drew a real ovation. When I saw Hulk Hogan in the spring of ’02 (during his yellow-and-red nostalgia run after WrestleMania X8) he just did an interview, and the entire crowd spent nearly a half hour on their feet cheering at the top of their lungs for him during an extended pose session when the cameras went down. I was so hoarse from screaming that I was burned out for the rest of the show. No one on the card tonight inspired that kind of sustained reaction from the crowd, but the closest was Daniel Bryan – so, of course, he jobs.

Overall, seeing WWE live was a blast. Regardless of the outcomes, I had a great time, and would absolutely go again. This is a case of a great fan experience, but not necessarily a great show.

TV side

Non-TV side (notice the upper levels). My side was also this way.

Hard to see, but this is a shot of the removal of a layer of the ringmat I talked about