From
Opening Match:
Konnan v Jason Knight: Taz is the special referee (not wrestling tonight due to a legitimate injury), but Knight makes the mistake of mouthing off to him, and gets decked, allowing Konnan to take him to splash mountain at 0:14. DUD (Original rating: DUD)
Stevie Richards v El Puerto Riqueno: Riqueno gets tired of waiting around while Richards unwraps Christmas gifts from the fans at ringside, and dives at him with a flying twisting bodypress - nearly killing them both on the guardrail in the process. Riqueno rolls him in to force the start of the match, and hits a springboard moonsault, followed by a missile dropkick. Riqueno then dives after Blue Meanie with a tope, but that allows Stevie to recover, and he knocks Riqueno down off the top rope. Richards with a pair of powerbombs, and he brings Meanie in to finish him with a flying moonsault, but Meanie misses. Stevie rolls his ass out of the ring, allowing Riqueno to sneak up with a schoolboy for two, but Richards pops him with the superkick at 3:03. Our first real match of the night, some twenty minutes in. ¼* (Original rating: 1/4*)
The Pitbulls v The Eliminators: Pitbull 1 starts with Saturn, and they trade bodyslams to start. Pitbull 1 gets the advantage with a pair of unanswered slams, and he capitalizes with a savate kick, before passing to Pitbull 2 for a drop-toehold/flying elbowdrop tandem move for two. Saturn gets away for the tag to Kronus, but he walks into a front-powerslam. Kronus returns fire with a dragon suplex, and Saturn comes in with a springboard forearm to send Pitbull 2 to the outside. The Eliminators follow up with a cool tandem spot where Saturn uses Kronus to springboard moonsault Pitbull 2 on the outside, and that's enough to put them in firm control of the match. Back in, Kronus hits a somersault legdrop, and a saito suplex is worth two. Pitbull 2 tries fighting back with a stinger splash, but Kronus sidesteps, and he takes a bump over the top. The Eliminators cut the ring in half, and go for the kill with Saturn trying a rana off the top, but it gets countered with a powerbomb on the way down! Unfortunately for Pitbull 2, Kronus stops the count from happening, but fails to prevent the tag to Pitbull 1 - Roseanne Barr the door! The Pitbulls kill Kronus with an electric chair/clothesline combo that sends him over the top, and they look to finish Saturn with the Superbomb, but Jason Knight comes in to save. That allows Kronus time to recover, and hit hits Pitbull 2 with a sloppy handspring backelbow, but gets overwhelmed in a double team, and finished with the Superbomb at 11:00. The Eliminators had lots of cool moves, but were lacking in psychology and execution. ** ½ (Original rating: **)
Mexican Death Match: Rey Mysterio Jr v Psychosis: Psychosis charges with a cross corner dropkick right at the bell, but Rey dodges, and takes him down with a headscissors. Psychosis tries another running dropkick, but Rey dodges again, and Psychosis lands in the ropes. Mysterio capitalizes with a flying rana into a cradle for three at 0:28. Psychosis easily answers the count, of course, more annoyed than hurt. They criss cross, with Rey sweeping him into the ropes, but then getting backdropped onto the apron. Psychosis tries to suplex him back in, but Rey slips free, and sends him over the top with a rana. Mysterio tries to springboard off of the rail out there, but badly blows it, and wipes out on the floor. Psychosis throws a chair at his head out there, and rolls him in for a flying dropkick. Slam sets up a flying moonsault for three at 2:28, but Rey beats the count. Psychosis blasts him with a corner dropkick as soon as he's up, followed by a neat press-slam onto the top turnbuckle! That would be a risky bump in a modern WWE ring, let alone these rickety ECW jobs. I feel like I need a tetanus shot just looking at their ring. Psychosis follows up with a powerbomb for three at 3:45, and Mysterio is hurt, but beats the count. Psychosis responds by avalanching him in the corner, then slamming him into the turnbuckles a couple of times. Slam sets up a flying corkscrew legdrop for three at 5:25. Rey beats the count, so Psychosis again blasts him with a corner dropkick, then adds a second one. He brings in a chair to make sure this punk gets the message, dropping him onto it with a DDT, then delivering a flying moonsault onto a chair covered Mysterio for three at 6:50. Rey is still getting up though, so Psychosis dropkicks the knee he banged up on the blown rail spot earlier, and then throws a chair at the leg. He tries another moonsault, but Rey uses the chair to block, and he follows up by throwing it at Psychosis' head! Springboard clothesline knocks Psychosis to the outside, and Rey dives after him with a bodypress that sends both tumbling over the rail! Wild! Mysterio then dives again with a springboard moonsault press into the third row, and he whacks Psychosis with a chair out there. Rey uses the chair to beat Psychosis around the building, and they end up over at the Eagles Nest, where Rey dives with a flying rana for three. And Psychosis is done at 11:49. They had a better match at the Super J Cup show in
ECW World Tag Team Title Match: Sandman and 2 Cold Scorpio v The Public Enemy: Whoever scores the fall here gets an ECW World Title shot later on. Scorpio is also the ECW Television champion here. Scorpio challenges Rocco Rock to a dance off before the bell, to which Rock responds by wondering if Scorpio thinks 'white men can't dance,' promoting Joey Styles to get in the line of the night in noting that 'well, Alex Wright sure can dance.' Ha! The dance off gets over with the crowd in a big way, but the challengers make the mistake of trying to get Woman involved, and that's the line. They jump Johnny Grunge, but Rock comes off the top with a flying clothesline to save before things get too far, and the challengers clean house. Joey notes that he 'can't imagine Public Enemy wrestling anywhere else but in ECW.' They would wrestle a WWF tryout match literally the next day, and end up in WCW within less than two months, so clearly Joey's not the most imaginative guy. The dust settles on Sandman and Grunge to start, and Johnny hiptosses him over the top. That prompts Rocco to dive with a plancha, so Scorpio responds by hitting Grunge with a flying moonsault press! Rock fires back with a flying clothesline, so all four men arm themselves with chairs, and start swinging! The booking here is fantastic, perfectly hiding their limitations with a crazy brawling. Can you even imagine how terrible a straight tag match between these four would be? Actually, you don't have to imagine. Just go back and watch any of the endless Harlem Heat/Nasty Boy matches from earlier that year. The Nasties would have done well for themselves in ECW, but even they were smart enough to know that ECW is where you go to build yourself so you can go make the big money, not where you leave a guaranteed contract to go in search of critical acclaim. After a lengthy brawl around ringside, the dust settles on Scorpio and Rock, and a criss cross ends in Rocco missing a springboard moonsault, and eating a superkick. Butterfly powerbomb gets two when Grunge saves, so Scorpio hits a bodyslam to set up a standing moonsault, but Rocco uses his knees to block. He fails to make the tag ahead of Scorpio, however, and Sandman comes in with some elbowdrops. He taunts Grunge, but this ain't WCW, and Johnny just runs in and starts unloading on him for a while before the referee breaks it up. Scorpio pretty blatantly whacks Rocco with the title belt, and Woman beats him with the cane, as Sandman and Grunge take their issue to the outside. Johnny backdrops Sandman onto a table out there, as Rock recovers enough to slam Scorpio over the top. Meanwhile, Sandman puts Grunge through a table after blocking a suplex, but Grunge comes over with a somersault plancha - not getting all of it. That allows the champs to roll him in, but Rocco manages to take Sandman down with a rana. Scorpio cuts him off with a broom handle (as in, a literal broom handle, not some obscure move called the 'broom handle'), and a flying moonsault gets two. Spinheel kick follows, but Rock manages a tag, and Roseanne Barr the door! Rock tries a flying somersault senton at Scorpio, but ends up hitting Johnny instead, and a dazed Sandman pins him at 16:03! Another funny bit after the bell, as Sandman is still out, so Scorpio pours beer down his throat to revive him like Hulk Hogan just before the third arm drop of a sleeper. Not great wrestling in the classical sense, but consistently entertaining, and well booked. ** ¼ (Original rating: ½*)
Tod Gordon v Bill Alfonso: Gordon is playing a commissioner role here (he really was a co-founder of the promotion), facing off against Alfonso, who had come into ECW earlier in the year as a referee - with the twist being that he actually enforced the rules, angering ECW's bloodthirsty fans. Beulah gets special referee duties, looking as hot as ever. I think it's funny that Bill wore his standard referee gear for this. He jumps Gordon on the outside during the entrances, knocking him into the crowd for a beat down. Beulah objects, so Alfonso knocks her out, but Tod rushes in before he does any more damage. As funny as Bill wearing his refereeing uniform is, Gordon dressing like he's auditioning for The Sopranos is even better. Gordon unloads on him, so Bill blows him low, but wastes too much time yelling at the fans, and Tod recovers. They spill to the outside, where Alfonso gets busted open after getting driven into a chair. The wrestling here is laughable, but it's getting over because the angle is so good. Bill grabs a frying pan, but Tod blows him low to block a shot, and hits him with the pan for the knockout. Unfortunately for him, Beulah is still out somewhere, so he signals Taz (still a sanctioned referee for tonight) out to count. Taz sprints down, but then turns on Gordon, and puts Alfonso on top for a three count at 6:37! Afterwards, Taz grabs a microphone, and justifies his heel turn by telling all the fans that they're hypocritical assholes who talk about their love for the wrestlers, but not a single one of them helped him in any way when he was recovering from his injury - except Bill Alfonso. This was a great turn, and the crowd responded accordingly. One thing that really worked in ECW is that the crowd was as much a part of the show as the workers, and this capitalized on that in a very organic way. Another match that wasn't great wrestling, but was certainly entertaining, and had a hot angle behind it. ¼* (Original rating: ¼*)
ECW World Title Match: Mikey Whipwreck v Steve Austin: So Sandman is back to get his dick sucked/wrestle in the main event, but
Sabu v Hack Meyers: This is Sabu's return to the promotion for the first time since the spring, having spent time working all around the world, including WCW. Sabu takes him down and hits a springboard seated leg lariat for two, and he grabs a chinlock. DDT connects, allowing Sabu to bring a chair into play, springboarding into Hack with it for two. Wristlock follows, then another chinlock, but Hack hits a clothesline to take control, and a powerslam is worth two. Meyers goes up with a pretty wild flying kneeling facebuster, but loses an exchange on the floor, and Sabu hits a slingshot legdrop on the way back in. Sabu with another DDT for two, and a spinheel kick has Hack bailing for the outside. Sabu is on him with a slingshot rana on the floor, and he adds Air Sabu against the rail. He tries a flying rana on the way back in, but Meyers catches him in a powerbomb for two, and he adds a suplex-slam. He heads up to the middle rope, but Sabu brings him off with a victory roll for two, only to get crotched as he himself climbs the ropes. Hack grabs a chair to do some damage, and a guillotine legdrop connects. Funny bit here, as the chair Hack grabbed from the crowd had some poor fans jacket hanging on it, and the garment is left sitting in the nasty ass ring for the rest of the match. Boy, I hope it wasn't expensive. Then, looking at the types of people that made up ECWs crowds, I'm guessing there's very little chance of it being worth more than five bucks. Sabu uses a rana to send both guys tumbling over the top, and he springboards over the top with a somersault senton splash to put Hack through a table! Hack is stupid enough to claw his way back in, so Sabu bodyslams him to set up a somersault Arabian Facebuster at 12:55. The crowd was happy to see Sabu, but this was booked to go on for way too long, and probably should have been wrapped up in under five minutes. Like, why is Sabu doing chinlocks and wristlocks and stuff in his return match? It's not like that's what anyone wants or expects from him. Just have him do a few minutes of spots, and go home. He's a freak show, and that's his entire charm. Heyman's booking is usually smarter than this. * (Original rating: *)
Main Event: Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer v Raven and Cactus Jack: Cactus wears a custom made Dungeon of Doom t-shirt, which is just hilarious. This is one of the things that really resonated with me watching ECW as a young fan, as these were guys I recognized, but they were referencing shit you'd never see in the majors, where even naming an opposing promotion was taboo. It gave ECW this great rebel vibe, but not rebels that no one ever heard of, but rebels who were stars in the big leagues before (and after). Big brawl to start, with Funk going at Cactus, and Dreamer at Raven. Funny bit, as Funk beats on Cactus with a chair on the outside, then throws the chair at Raven in the ring - hitting him right in the back of the head with pinpoint accuracy. Stevie Richards comes out, but gets stuffed in a shopping cart, and rammed into a pole at ringside. A pile of plunder gets spilled out in the ring, and Funk and Dreamer go to town using various weapons. Funk beats up the referee for good measure, before grabbing a golf club, and teeing off on Raven's eggs. Jesus. Jack saves him from further damage with a chair, and Raven finds a toilet seat to beat on Terry with. That seems like kind of tame as a receipt for getting hit clean in the junk with a golf club. Unless Big Val Puccio was using it before the show, maybe. Jack finds a fork to beat into Funk's forehead, and tears off his Dungeon of Doom t-shirt to reveal a super creepy Eric Bischoff one underneath. That's tremendous. Dreamer gets revved up by that, and pulls the shirt over Jack's head - lining up Bischoff's face with Cactus' for some target practice. Jack manages to hit Funk with the double-arm DDT, as Raven dumps Tommy to the outside for a plancha. With Dreamer out of the way, Raven covers Funk, but there's no referee to count. Cactus slaps the mat three times, and I'm actually kind of surprised that doesn't count given what promotion we're in. They bring out Bill Alfonso to do the job, but Funk gets a shoulder up at two. That draws Taz out, but Dreamer stops him from counting the fall. Raven steps in, but Tommy fights him off with a pair of DDTs, and piledrives him onto a chair - Funk scoring the fall from there at 13:39. Total overbooked nonsense, but the crowd loved it. ¾* (Original rating: ¼*)
BUExperience: ECW had many flaws, but one thing you can’t deny is how damn entertaining they were during this period. This whole show was like an open rebellion against everything the WWF and WCW had taught us constituted as pro-wrestling, carried out by their own former stars.
**
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