WWF Saturday Night's Main Event VI (Version II)

Original Airdate: May 3, 1986

From Providence, Rhode Island; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan

Backstage, Terry and Hoss Funk threaten various beatin's and whoopin's for Hulk Hogan and the Junkyard Dog tonight. At the entrance curtain, Hulk and the JYD have no fear, because they have a midget in their corner. Sounds about right

Hulk Hogan and Junkyard Dog v Terry Funk and Hoss Funk: The faces blitz them at the bell, with Hogan doing his JYD impression - down to a series of crawling headbutts. The dust settles on Dog and Hoss to start, but JYD bodyslams him, so Hoss bails. Tag to Terry, ad he manages to power JYD into the corner, but misses a charge, and goes flying out of the ring. Terry takes his frustrations out on the Haiti Kid (the aforementioned midget), but JYD saves, and the dust settles on Hogan and Hoss. Hulk works a side-headlock, so Terry comes in, but Hogan outwits them during a criss cross. Bodyslam on Hoss sets up an elbowdrop for two, and Hulk tags out. Dog with a clothesline on Hoss for two, and there's the tag to Terry. Alliteration, motherfuckers! The Funk's work him over in the corner, but JYD doesn't really feel like doing the whole 'heat segment' thing, and just starts punching them at will. Tag back to Hogan, and Terry takes some of his patented crazy bumps to the floor, so manager Jimmy Hart steps in with a cheap shot on Kid - the distraction killing the momentum. Dust settles back on Hulk and Hoss, but even from the apron Terry keeps taking wild bumps for the Hulkster. Now THAT'S dedication! Vertical suplex on Hoss gets two, so Terry uses the branding iron to deliver the promised beatin' and whoopin' to Hulk on the outside, then tosses him into the rail for good measure. That gets him slammed on the (unpadded) floor by JYD, however, and Hogan adds a backdrop out there for good measure. Dear God, how Terry Funk avoided a wheelchair all these years is nothing short of miraculous. Inside, Hogan big boots Hoss, and JYD tags in, but runs into a series of uppercuts. Tag to Terry, but he misses a flying splash, and Hogan finishes him with the Legdrop at 13:30. Not a great match, but entertaining as hell, in the classic Northeastern wrestling style. ** (Original rating: * ¼)

Earlier today, at the official weight in, King Kong Bundy was really fat. Meanwhile, Uncle Elmer (who is also fat) ate a bucket full of pig parts

King Kong Bundy v Uncle Elmer: This is billed as the 'Battle of the Big Boys.' Look at the adjective! Elmer is not only fatter than Bundy, but also dwarfs him, which is kind of weird booking, unless they just didn't give a shit about Bundy anymore after WrestleMania 2. Which might have been the case, actually. A young Tim White is the referee here, looking like a Kevin Smith's doppelganger. So, Elmer controls with fat, but Bundy cheats to take the upper hand, and resorts to biting. Must still taste of pig parts. Elmer uses his fat ass (literally) to turn the tide, and avalanches Bundy - only to miss a second one, and get elbowdropped at 2:35. Sucked, but it was short. DUD (Original rating: DUD)

Backstage, Adrian Adonis is gay for Paul Orndorff. Orndorff responds by taking a steam with Gene Okerlund

Paul Orndorff v Adrian Adonis: Adonis tries charging, but runs into a pair of armdrags, and a bodyslam to send him to the floor. Orndorff tries to go after him to continue tearing that ass up, but Kevin Smith objects. Back in, Orndorff cross corner whips Adonis, and Adrian bails again. Inside, Paul slaps on an abdominal stretch, though I think that might be giving Adrian exactly what he wants there. Paul lets off, so Adrian slugs him (told you!), and throws him around with a hiptoss, but gets backdropped over the top. I know the bumps got crazier and more eye popping in the 90s, but holy shit these guys were nuts taking some of these falls on the exposed floors. And then, right on cue, Jimmy Hart underscores my point by taking a press-slam over the top to the floor. Adonis uses Hart's megaphone to turn the tide, and a bodyslam sets up a pointed elbowdrop for two. Vertical suplex gets two, but a flying splash hits the knees, and Orndorff follows up with a high knee. He takes out Jimmy on the way to dropkicking Adonis, and choking him with his own dress. Kevin Smith objects to the rampant hate crime, however, so Orndorff shoves him out of the way, and that's a DQ at 12:00. This was okay. * (Original rating: ¼*)

Earlier today, inside an empty arena, Hulk Hogan sits like a lump, and wonders where all the fans are. Way to draw, HULK. Luckily, Mean Gene - and his insanely glossy microphone - are there for him

Backstage, Ricky Steamboat wants you to smell his finger

Ricky Steamboat v Jake Roberts: Weird neon green tights with purple trim for Jake tonight, that looks like something he borrowed them from Randy Savage's early 90s closet. As for the match, Jake attacks him before the bell, and absolutely KILLS him with a DDT on the floor, then drags his limp carcass into the ring (with Steamboat doing an impressive job of playing dead weight) for the Damien treatment - resulting in a no contest. So, yeah, no match, really, but the angle was a winner.

Backstage, Dynamite Kid looks like a junkie. Oh, and the British Bulldogs are ready to defend their tag titles tonight. That, too. Meanwhile, Freddie Blassie dresses like a Baghdad pimp

WWF Tag Team Title 2/3 Falls Match: The British Bulldogs v Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff: Volkoff misses a charge in the corner at the bell, and Davey Boy Smith headbutts him into a cradle for two. Shoulderblock, but he runs into a stungun as he tries for another, and Sheik tags in - plating Smith with a well executed side suplex, then slapping on the Camel Clutch for a submission at 1:28. Super fast, but I don't mind that booking, given that psychologically it makes sense for Smith to submit right away to avoid taking too much damage so early in the multi-fall match. The challengers keep it going by cutting the ring in half on Smith, but he keeps kicking out through all their offensive firepower. He manages an atomic drop on Sheik for two, but Volkoff cuts off the tag, and monkeyflips him for two. Volkoff keeps working him over, but doesn't notice when Davey puts his foot on the ropes to break a pin attempt, and Smith rolls him up during the premature celebration at 5:58. He may have scored the fall, but he's still in rough shape, and the challengers continue to cut the ring in half. The referee in this one looks like Dan Aykroyd. This show is like one of those celebrity impersonator conventions they have out in Vegas, or something. Davey manages a Running Powerslam on Sheik, and finally makes the tag to Dynamite Kid, but he immediately runs into a bearhug. Sheik gutwrench suplexes him to setup the Clutch, but Davey breaks it up, and cradles Sheik for the pin at 9:10 - despite not being the legal man. Sheik and Volkoff aren't the best wrestlers, but they were bringing their A-game here, and Davey did one hell of a job getting the shit kicked out of him while a legit injured Kid hung out on the apron. ** ½ (Original rating: * ¾)

BUExperience: A fun show that I actually liked a lot better the second time around. The show had evolved past the ultra cheesy (in a good way) theme-style that the first few episodes utilized, but still continued to be really fun and entertaining throughout