WWE Survivor Series (November 2003)

From Dallas, Texas; Your Hosts are Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, and Tazz

Opening Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team Lesnar (Brock Lesnar, Big Show, A-Train, Matt Morgan, and Nathan Jones) v Team Angle (Kurt Angle, John Cena, Bradshaw, Hardcore Holly, and Chris Benoit): Holly jumps Lesnar during the entrances to trigger a big brawl, and gets himself disqualified before the bell in the process. I'm guessing the referee was taking mercy, and saving Holly's life there. The dust settles on A-Train and Bradshaw, but that lasts all of a few seconds before A-Train misses a pump-splash and Bradshaw hits the Clothesline from Hell for the pin at 0:28. That gives us Show and Bradshaw, and Show quickly Chokeslams him to end his night at 0:50. Well, this is certainly moving along. Cena comes in and stupidly goes for an FU on Show right away, but gets swatted down, and Lesnar tags in to beat his ass right. Brock goes to work, but John manages to clip the knee, and schoolboy him for two. Another schoolboy for two annoys Brock, however, and he levels Cena with a lariat. Tag to Morgan as Team Lesnar cut the ring in half on Cena. Brock misses a charge to allow Cena the Throwback for two, and there's the tag to Benoit. Chris snap suplexes him, but takes a stungun and a lariat before he can properly work Lesnar over. Tag to Show for a visually impressive press-slam (no one made Show look good quite like Benoit), but Chris manages to counter the Chokeslam into the Crippler Crossface - Brock breaking it up. Show slaps on an abdominal stretch as they cut the ring in half on their new victim, but Morgan misses a big boot, and Benoit dropkicks his knee. Another dropkick allows the tag to Angle, and he immediately grabs Matt for the three-alarm rolling Germans. The rest of the heels attack, but Kurt suplexes them all to trigger a brawl between the two teams - Morgan eating an Olympic Slam at 9:06. Jones comes in to try and save it, but ends up getting clobbered by Big Show by accident, and Kurt eliminates him with the Anklelock at 9:31 - only for Brock to immediately grab him in the F5 at 9:44. Well, if you want something done right. Brock doesn't get much time to celebrate, as Benoit is on him with chops in the corner, and he goes after the shoulder when Brock misses a corner charge. Brock tries fighting back with the F5, but Chris counters into the Crossface, and actually gets the submission out of it at 11:51. Show goes after him with headbutts, but a cross corner charge misses, and Chris hits a flying shoulderblock for two. Crossface, but the size difference is too much to overcome, so Benoit wisely tags out to Cena - who goes for the more direct approach: hitting Show with a chain, then adding the FU at 13:17.
Survivors: John Cena and Chris Benoit
It was clear watching this that they had tons of confidence in Cena, and the crowd support for his was tremendous at this point. As for the match, I thought I might get whiplash at points, but it was solid, and certainly exciting. **

WWE Women's Title Match: Molly Holly v Lita: They trade waistlocks to start, and Lita sweeps her for two, then pulls her to the floor for a shot into the apron. Back in, that gets two, and a snap suplex follows. Headscissors takedown, but Molly blocks by releasing her, and dropping her over the top in the process. Well, that'll do it. Molly rams her into the rail out there, then rolls her in to get a two count off of it. Swinging neckbreaker gets two, and she grounds her challenger with a dragon sleeper. Lita escapes, so Molly punishes her with a handspring elbow, but Lita fires back with a flying bodypress for two. Corner clothesline sets up a sloppy ten-punch count, and a schoolgirl gets two. Molly comes back with a sidewalk slam for two, but gets powerbombed for two while trying her own ten-punch count, and Lita adds a Russian legsweep to setup a Litasault - which misses. Holly capitalizes with the Molly Go Round for two, then knocks Lita into an exposed turnbuckle with a drop-toehold for the pin at 6:48. Yeah, I get that she's a heel, but the Molly Go Round should have really been the finish. Not that this was an all-time classic, or anything, but man, this blows anything I've seen from the Divas all year (and last year, and the year before) out of the water. *

Ambulance Match: Kane v Shane McMahon: First guy to get his opponent into an ambulance (which is sitting near the entrance) wins. Shane attacks with a bodypress to knock Kane over the top right away, but gets destroyed out there. Shane manages to use a chair to knock the steps back into Kane's face, as the weak brawling continues. Shane puts Kane through a table with the Leap of Faith, but it's not 1999, so no one is remotely impressed anymore, nor do they care. Brawl through the crowd puts them backstage, and Shane finds a cane to cane Kane with, then casually backs a random SUV into him while TALKING ON HIS CELL PHONE. Son of a bitch! Shane uses the phone to call the ambulance backstage, but he can't get Kane in, and they brawl back out into the arena. They ram each other into various objects around the set while trying to get each other into the ambulance. Kane nearly does it, but Shane tornado DDTs him to avoid the door closing, then goes Coast to Coast off the roof of the ambulance. That was a neat spot, but the visual was a bit ruined by Shane putting a giant piece of padding down to break his fall. Not that I think anyone should take that kind of bump without the proper precautions, but if your stuntman bumps require you to stop and put down padding in what's supposed to be a no hold barred brawl, perhaps it's best to just skip the spot, and do something less dangerous. He drags Kane's limp body into the ambulance, but can't get the door shut, and Kane Tombstones him on the floor, then tosses him in for the win at 13:31. Another totally useless match, with some ridiculously over the top spots, and total lack of believability. I mean, he HIT HIM WITH A CAR and it didn't even warrant a two count. This reminded me of the shit WCW was throwing out there during the dying days of the promotion. ¼*

WWE Tag Team Title Match: The Basham Brothers v Los Guerreros: The challengers attack right away, and clean house. Dust settles on Danny Basham and Chavo Guerrero, and Chavo sticks and moves before passing to Eddie Guerrero. He dropkicks Danny into the corner for some stompage, then executes the three-alarm rolling vertical suplex for two. Tag back to Chavo, and Eddie snapmares Danny for his partner to seated dropkick for two, then Chavo slams Danny and tags Eddie for a slingshot somersault senton for two. Neat spot follows, as Eddie goes for his ropewalk single-arm DDT, and Doug Basham runs in to try and stop it, so Eddie reroutes, and takes Doug down with a flying headscissors when still holding Danny's arm, and taking him for the ride as well. Nice! However, Eddie gets quickly overwhelmed, and the champs hit a tandem stungun, and they beat Guerrero up on the floor, then cut the ring in half back inside. Tag to Chavo, and he quickly hits a tilt-a-whirl for two, as the four-way brawl breaks out. Shaniqua gets involved, but Chavo clotheslines her down for Eddie to Frogsplash, and Chavo spanks her - which looks especially awkward because she's, like, twice his size. Unfortunately, they get too worked up with that, and Chavo gets schoolboyed at 7:30. I liked this, for the most part. Lots of neat tandem moves from both teams, and didn't overstay its welcome, but once it broke down at the end with the superfluous Shaniqua stuff they lost me. * ½

Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team Austin (Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, and The Dudley Boyz) v Team Bischoff (Chris Jericho, Christian, Randy Orton, Scott Steiner, and Mark Henry): Austin and Bischoff's respective RAW GM positions are on the line here. D-Von Dudley starts with Christian, and they trade wristlocks and hammerlocks. Criss cross goes D-Von's way with a shoulderblock, as JR notes that Christian is a former three time Intercontinental Champion. Wow, really? Just shows you how little the title reigns meant anymore, because I remember ten years earlier when it was a huge deal that Bret Hart had won it twice. But then, people still remember those reigns fondly. I barely even remember Christian as champion. Tag to Rob Van Dam, and he does his usual flip flop stuff on his way to spinkicking Christian. Tag to Jericho, and Rob delivers a modified enzuigiri, and a northern lights suplex gets two. Jericho hits his own enzuigiri for two, and passes to Steiner - who promptly gets lost, and plods around the ring flexing in place of offense. Rob springboard bodypresses him for two, then spinheel kicks him for two. Another one, but Scott counters into an overhead suplex this time, then adds a rotating belly-to-belly suplex for two. Overhead superplex gets two, but Rob manages to stick and move to tag Booker. I guess you could consider this a fresh matchup, since no one was watching WCW when they had their world title series anyway. Scott elbowdrops him for two, but loses a criss cross, and a kneelift sets up the axekick. Spinebuster, but the rest of Team Bischoff comes in to break the count - cut off by Team Austin for a brawl. Steiner manages the Recliner in the chaos, but the Dudley's save, and the BookEnd finishes Scott at 7:27. Good booking, since Scott had done all he was going to do out there, and any more would just leave him blown up and exposed. Unfortunately for Booker, he tries matching power with Mark Henry right after, and gets powerslammed at 7:50. That's his own fault. They call him the 'Worlds Strongest Man!' It's right there in his name! Rob comes in and tries sticking and moving, but gets clobbered, and passes to Bubba Dudley - who promptly also gets clobbered. Who the fuck decided to dress Henry in super tight light grey gear, by the way? It's like a treat for none of the senses. Mark keeps overpowering everyone, but rungs into the Death Drop from the Boyz, with Rob adding a Five Star Frogsplash and all three dog piling on for the pin at 10:07. If they were all dressed as Doink for that spot, I'd add a quarter star right there. It was the ten year anniversary, after all. That leaves Rob with Jericho, and Chris chops him in the corner, but Rob head fakes him during a corner whip, and hits a 2^nd rope moonsault for two. Tag to Orton, and Rob tries the head fake again, but Randy anticipates it, and nearly decapitates him with a well executed lariat for two. Charge misses, and Rob fires back with a springboard sidekick and rolling thunder, but Jericho shoves him off the top to cutoff the Frogsplash, and Randy hits the RKO at 12:19. In comes D-Von with a backdrop on Orton, and a bodyslam sets up a legdrop for two. Sidewalk slam sets up a nice flying headbutt for two, but Orton gets a blind tag off to Jericho, and Chris 2^nd rope dropkicks him for two, then sends him home with a sleeper slam at 14:01. Bubba comes in to get revenge, and hits a sidewalk slam in D-Von's honor for two. Tag to Shawn, and shoves Jericho into the corner for a ten-punch, but a distraction from Christian allows Jericho a lariat. Tag to Orton, but he quickly misses a dropkick, and Shawn reaches Bubba as Randy reaches Christian. Bubba comes in hot on all three heels, but gets overwhelmed, and it's buh-bye Bubba at 17:04. That leaves Shawn all alone, and Christian goes right after him with a series of stomps and mounted punches, but Michaels manages a diving forearm, followed by an inverted atomic drop. Cheapshot from Jericho puts Shawn on the floor for a beating, and he takes a slingshot into the post to bust him open. Christian vertical suplexes him back in for two, and goes for the kill with the Unprettier, but Shawn counters into a Superkick at 20:40. That still leaves him two-on-one, however, and Jericho goes right on the attack - ramming Shawn's face into the turnbuckle, and chopping him. Cross corner whip sets up a clothesline on the rebound for two, but a springboard is blocked with a DDT for a dramatic two count. Randy comes in and gets tossed, but the distraction allows Jericho to bulldog him - only to miss the lionsault. Superkick, but Chris counters into the Walls - countered back with an inside cradle by Michaels at 23:56. That leaves Shawn alone with Orton, but Jericho doesn't take the loss well, and creams the already bloodied Shawn with a chair on his way out. That allows Orton to cover for a dramatic two, as Austin cheers on from ringside, and Bischoff freaks out. Randy goes for a flying bodypress, but Michaels ducks, and Orton takes out the referee instead. Superkick, but Bischoff wants that yellow belt from the Y gym, and cuts him off with some kicks of his own. Unfortunately for him, the guy on the other side is Stone Cold fucking Steve Austin, and Eric gets destroyed. Steve adds a Stunner for Orton for good measure, but before Shawn can cover, Batista runs in and Batista Bombs him for Randy to pin at 27:39.
Survivor: Randy Orton
Really good stuff here, loaded with great distribution of talent, and tons of drama - particularly from Michaels. It's a half hour, but thanks to the quick tags during the first half, and Shawn's underdog comeback in the second, it flies by. *** ½

Buried Alive Match: The Undertaker v Vince McMahon: Yay, another goofy McMahon gimmick match tonight! Undertaker takes literally one punch at him to draw blood (really?), then unloads in the corner. Lots of punching from Undertaker as he works the cut, then out to the floor, so he can choke the fifty eight year old business man with some electrical cables. Let's hope Undertaker never takes a job in a nursing home, now that his career is winding down. Undertaker beats him with more random weapons (shovel, steps), then carries him over to the gravesite, but suddenly Kane shows up (I guess upset that he's being usurped for Worst Match of the Night honors), and shoves Undertaker into the grave for Vince to finish at 11:58. He's fallen, and he can't get up! This was so insultingly bad in every way, that I don't even want to waste my time explaining why. -**

Main Event: World Heavyweight Title Match: Goldberg v Triple H: HHH tries attacking, but Goldberg easily fends him off, and beats him into the corner. That brings Ric Flair in, but Goldberg tosses him around, and corner whips HHH out of the ring. Goldberg follows for a whip into the steps, then back in for a press-slam, but Goldberg's ankle gives out, and HHH immediately clips it to capitalize. Out again, HHH uses the steps and a chair on Goldberg's ankle, and Ric even whacks it into the post a few times for good measure. Flair had a lot of great managers over the years, and clearly he was paying attention. In, HHH clips the ankle again, and goes to work on it in dull (but serviceable) fashion. Figure four, but Goldberg shoves him off, and Hunter takes out the referee as a result. That allows Flair to pass him a set of knux, and he whacks the champ with it for a (less than dramatic) two. The crowd wasn't buying that as the finish at all. Hunter grabs the sledgehammer, but Goldberg kicks it away from him, so Flair, Batista, and Randy Orton gang up. Goldberg destroys them all, but the interference is enough to allow Hunter to try the Pedigree - only to get backdropped. Spear, Jackhammer, pin at 11:43. Pretty dull stuff, with the ankle stuff going nowhere, and the usual loads of overbooking. ¼*

BUExperience: The Austin/Bischoff tag match is really good, but the rest is average at best, and the Buried Alive garbage pretty much negates any goodwill the effort from the rest of the undercard might have garnered.

DUD