From
Opening WWE Smackdown Tag Team Title Hell in a Cell Match: The New Day v The Usos: Everyone bails to the outside to arm themselves with weapons right away, and the brawl is on! New Day control, but Big E misses his apron spear, and ends up taking a spill right into the side of the cell. Jimmy Uso adds a plancha on Xavier Woods, but Big E recovers in the meantime, and hits Jey Uso with the apron spear. I'll fully admit that I have a hard enough time telling the Uso's apart in a normal tag match, so this should be fun for me. Woods beats Jey with various musical instruments next (including a trombone and a cowbell), as the match embraces its goofy side. Who ever thought we'd see the day where this once feud ending trump card of a match is played for laughs between two midcard tag teams I didn't even realize were feuding? Woods goes to the top, but Jimmy throws a chair at him to stop that effort, and both Uso's go to town on Big E with kendo sticks. No one's laughing now. They pound on Xavier on the outside as well, but that allows Big E to recover, and he hits a release overhead suplex. He tries the Big Ending, but Jimmy cuts him off, and hits a superkick on the apron. He tries a follow-up, but Big E counters with a uranage off the apron - Jimmy landing right on Woods in the process! Inside, New Day try to put him away with the Midnight Hour, but it only gets two. Woods goes to work with a kendo stick, and they do an interesting spot where they use the sticks to pin Jey against the corner of the cage. That was really neat, actually. Next, Big E splays Jimmy on the steps for Xavier to dive off the top rope onto, but Jey escapes his makeshift cage, and saves before they can execute it. That leads to Jimmy putting Big E on his shoulders, and Jey dives with a tope to knock Big E into the cage! Another neat spot there. Inside, both Uso's come off the top with back-to-back flying splashes, but Big E kicks out at two. They decide to bust out some handcuffs next, and string up Woods against the post for a kendo stick beating, in an uncomfortable spot. I doubt they had any racially motivated intentions there, but that was a bit awkward. Big E is next, but he fights them both off, and starts spearing everyone into the side of the cage. Inside, Big Ending gets two, but he gets overwhelmed in a hail of superkicks, and the Uso's try stereo flying splashes, but Woods saves at two! He has no follow-up, however, and the Uso's punish him with the kendo sticks again. Woods guts it out and starts slugging back, but his hands are still cuffed together, so he only gets so far. That triggers the Uso's to decide to finish him off good, and they get the job done with chair assisted stereo flying splashes at 21:53. Hmm, I was sure Big E was going to rush in to make the save there. This definitely had its moments, but overstayed its welcome. ** ¾
Randy Orton v Rusev: Orton goes for the RKO almost immediately, but Rusev bails to the outside to avoid it. I always loved the way Jake Roberts used to do that same tease with the DDT at the start of many of his matches (to get over how it can happen at any time), and Orton was wise to adopt that. Back in, Rusev tries to stomp him down, but Randy responds in kind. He tries the rope-hung DDT, but Rusev backdrops him onto the apron to block, then knocks him off into the barricade with a shoulderblock. He hops out for a fallaway slam into the barricade, though these moves have never had the same impact since they got rid of the old school steel ones. It gets two, anyway. Rusev works a chinlock, and Orton is turning red in the face! At the embarrassment of having to endure his own favored hold, I'd assume, but still. Rusev with a spinheel kick for two, so Randy bails, and Rusev ends up taking a side suplex onto the barricade out there when he follows. Unfortunately for Orton, he's nailed with a clothesline before he can follow-up, and that gets Rusev another two count on the way back in. Funny sign in the crowd, asking the WWE to go back to TV-14. Rusev misses a stinger splash, so Orton starts unloading with right hands, and this time is able to follow-up with a pair of clotheslines. RKO, but Rusev dodges, so Randy tries a powerslam instead for two. Rope-hung DDT, but Rusev counters again, this time into a fallaway slam, followed by a roundhouse kick for two. Accolade, but Orton bails to the outside before Rusev can apply it, so Rusev follows to the floor to kick him in the head. Back in, Rusev tries a 2nd rope flying frogsplash, but Orton rolls out of the way, so Rusev tries to bail to regroup - only to get pulled in for the rope-hung DDT. Perseverance, kids. RKO, but Rusev tries countering to the Accolade - only to get countered back into the RKO at 11:38. Felt a little like they were painting by numbers, but it was perfectly alright. ** ¼
WWE United States Title Triple Threat Match: AJ Styles v Baron Corbin v Tye Dillinger: First fall wins it here. Corbin tries bailing to the outside to allow them to kill each other for a while, but that just insults both AJ and Tye, and they team up to kick the shit out of Baron. Once that's out of the way, Tye rolls Styles up for two, and AJ responds in kind for two. Victory cradle gets two, so Tye tries a Russian legsweep for two. Hot sequence there. Dillinger tries a suplex, but AJ blocks, and a criss cross ends in Styles dropkicking him. AJ looks for a follow-up, but Baron sweeps him from the floor, and comes in to crotch Dillinger across the top rope. AJ attacks him with chops, but runs into a shoulderblock, and Corbin pounds him in dull fashion. Dillinger returns, so Baron alley-oops AJ into him, then throws Styles into the post to get rid of him for a while, and allow Tye to experience the brilliance that is Baron Corbin's shitty offense firsthand. Baron slaps on a modified cobra clutch, so AJ tries springing in with the Phenomenal Forearm, but he ends up getting swatted out of the sky. That allows Corbin to go back to pounding poor Dillinger, until AJ returns again, this time with a flurry of strikes to put boring Baron down. Enzuigiri leads to a jumping forearm, and Styles tries the Clash, but gets backdropped over the top. He manages to land on the apron, so Baron charges, but AJ pulls down the top rope to send him tumbling over the top. In comes Dillinger, so Styles charges him, but eats a backdrop. Tye unloads a ten-punch count, but a superplex gets blocked, so he hits AJ with a pop-up flapjack on the criss cross instead for two. Reversal sequence ends in AJ taking him down in the Calf Crusher, but here's Baron to pull Tye out by the arm for the save. Styles is understandably miffed, and dives onto Baron with a plancha forearm, but gets sent into the post before he can build on it. Baron takes Dillinger in, but Tye is ready with a small package for two, and a victory cradle gets two. He runs into the Deep Six, so AJ tries coming in to rescue, but eats a chokeslam for two. That leads to a sequence where everyone takes turns hitting cross corner strikes, and the end result is AJ hitting Tye with the pele kick - which knocks Dillinger right into a cover on Corbin for two! Love it! AJ with the springboard 450 splash on Baron, but Dillinger recovers enough to break the count at two! Styles with the Phenomenal Forearm on Tye, but Corbin takes AJ's head off with a big boot before he can cover, and Baron steals the pin from him at 19:20! Corbin brought this down a lot. But, at least he finally figured out that working without a shirt was not a good look for him. So there's that. ** ¾
WWE Smackdown Women's Title Match: Natalya v Charlotte Flair: They measure each other a bit to start, which gets aggressive in short order. Both girls go for their finishers, but both are blocked, so Flair tries a slingshot schoolgirl, but Natalya blocks, and starts working the leg. Natalya with a corkscrew legwhip into a leglock, so Flair uses those long legs to break free, but Natalya clips the knee before she can recover. Natalya keeps pounding the leg, and a discus clothesline sets up the Sharpshooter, but Flair manages to block.
WWE Title Match: Jinder Mahal v Shinsuke Nakamura: Nakamura threatens him with strikes to start, leaving Jinder backing off in the corner - all while talking tough. Reversal sequence ends in Nakamura trying for a cross armbreaker, but Mahal is in the ropes before he can get it applied. Have I mentioned how much Nakamura's mannerisms irk me? Like, they legitimately ruin his performances for me. They spill to the outside, where Jinder sends him into the post, then dumps his challenger into the first row. Kind of funny, as apparently half of that row has went to get snacks, and thus Nakamura lands on a bunch of empty seats. Kind of says it all when people are hitting the concession stands during the world title match, doesn't it? Nakamura beats the count, so Jinder grounds him in some holds for a while, until Nakamura escapes with an enzuigiri. The challenger fires off a series of kicks, and he tosses Mahal over the top to set up a baseball slide. That brings the Singh's into play, but Nakamura quickly fights them off - only to miss a kneedrop on the apron. That allows Mahal to vertical suplex him back in, and a seated dropkick follows for two. I feel like in the old days the crowd would be starting a 'boring' chant right about now, but now they can just quietly check their phones instead. Nakamura with a series of strikes, so the Singh's try to pull Jinder out, but the referee intervenes. That allows Nakamura a schoolboy for two, and a sitout gourdbuster follows. That brings the Singh's back into play, and this time the referee ejects them altogether. Meanwhile, Nakamura hits
Dolph Ziggler v Bobby Roode: I know this is a different era, and kayfabe is long dead, but does Ziggler absolutely have to have 'heel' written on his tights? Feeling out process to start, with Roode dominating until Dolph bails to the apron. Bobby tries pulling him back in, but gets his throat snapped across the top rope, and Dolph delivers a dropkick for two. Neckbreaker gets two, and he grounds Roode in an overhead wristlock. Bobby escapes, so Dolph tries a sleeper instead, but Roode escapes via side suplex. Ziggler tries to keep control by charging, but Bobby dodges, and Dolph hits the post. That allows Roode to dive with a 2nd rope flying neckbreaker for two, and a uranage is worth two. Glorious DDT looks to finish, but Ziggler counters with a backdrop, and hits his own DDT for two. Dolph tries another sleeper, so Roode again tries a side suplex to escape, but this time Dolph back flips onto his feet, and delivers the fameasser for two. Superkick, but Bobby counters with a spinebuster - only to have the Glorious DDT countered with a schoolboy for two. That leads to a pinfall reversal sequence, and Bobby gets the better of it at 11:29. Nothing much here. *
Main Event: Falls Count Anywhere Hell in a Cell Match: Kevin Owens v Shane McMahon: The two stipulations kind of cancel each other out, no? I mean, isn't anything in a cell pretty much automatically restricted to a limited space, by definition? Shane attacks with a baseball slide a Kevin is still entering the cell, and they brawl on the floor to start. Well, as much as 'brawl' can be defined by Shane's horrible punches, I suppose. McMahon dives off the barricade with a flying clothesline, and adds an enzuigiri in the aisle, but Owens mulekicks him on the way into the cell. He tries to block Shane from coming in, so McMahon charges the door with a bicycle kick to bust his way through - only to get knocked off the apron into the side of the cell after entering. Owens tosses him into the cell wall, and Shane gets to play the cheese to the grater, as Kevin stops to taunt McMahon's kids in the front row - all of who are smiling and laughing. Way to kayfabe, young McMahon's. I'm pretty sure Fritz Von Erich would have stopped the match to beat his kids then and there if this were the 70s. Owens keeps pounding him as they head into the ring, and a short-clothesline sets up a senton splash for two. Cannonball gets two, as Owens stops to taunt the kids again. Luckily, they don't cut to a shot of them, since they're likely grinning ear to ear. Kevin with a flying senton bomb, but Shane lifts his knees to block, and he unloads with rights to set up a jumping backelbow. Floatover DDT leads to a flying shooting star press (holy shit), but Owens rolls out of the way! I was totally not expecting that, thinking he was going for a simple flying elbowdrop, or something there. Wow! Owens with a flying frogsplash for two, but the Pop-Up Powerbomb is countered into a triangle choke by McMahon! Owens manages to slide out of the ring to escape the hold, but Shane latches on again on the apron, so Kevin powerbombs him onto the steps to break. Yeah, well, that'll do it. It gets two, so Owens finds a table, and leans it/Shane up against the side of the cell to try a Cannonball off the apron, but McMahon rolls out of the way, and Owens puts himself through the table for two! That would have been a nice, organic way to bust through the cell there, since you know they're eventually going out at some point. Shane beats on Owens with the remnants of the table, then rolls Kevin in for an all expense paid Coast to Coast trip for two! Shane grabs a pair of bolt cutters to cut the chain off the door of the cell, which is basically the exact opposite of the elegant exit that the Cannonball spot would have allowed. Shane beats Owens with a trash can until they end up in the aisle, but it backfires on him when Kevin executes a DDT onto the ramp. Owens then rams Shane balls-first into the cell door - likely pissed over how his offspring have violated the sacred oath of kayfabe, and trying to prevent further offenses. Owens beats McMahon all around ringside, eventually reaching the far side, and positioning him on an announce table. Initially, Owens plans to dive off the barricade to drive McMahon through the table, but then has a change of heart, and decides that this requires more altitude! Kevin climbs to the top of the cell, but his nerves prevent him from diving, and Shane recovers in the meantime. He follows Owens to the top of the cell for a slugfest, which McMahon wins with a Russian legsweep on the roof! Shane's selling is right out of a videogame. McMahon with a bodyslam on the roof, but the force of Kevin's impact shakes the cell, and Shane trips over in the process. That may be the most effort anyone has ever made to land a fat joke. Shane with a vertical suplex on the roof, but Owens superkicks him, and delivers a senton splash up there. I can only imagine how this all would have played out on the pre-reinforced cells from the late 90s. Owens tries a powerbomb next, but McMahon counters with a backdrop, and we get another slugfest. This portion of the match is going on for too long. The crowd wants to see someone fly, not extended reversal sequences. Owens hits a Pop-Up Powerbomb up there, and he tries to throw Shane off, but McMahon manages to block. Kevin starts to climb down, so Shane follows, and they slug it out on the side of the cell - Owens losing that exchange, and taking a fall through an announce table from halfway up. That was kind of disappointing, given how much time they spent building up something from the very top of the cell. McMahon crawls over to cover him, but has his own change of heart, and decides to position Owens on another announce table. Hey, when did they switch to tablets as their monitors? I thought they'd never give up the old CRTs. Shane climbs all the way back to the top, but unlike Owens, he doesn't lose his nerve - diving with a flying elbowdrop! Unfortunately, it misses, as Sami Zayn pops out, and pulls Owens off the table at the last second! That totally made up for the disappointing earlier bump. So, obviously, Shane is dead, and the EMTs start attending to him, but Zayn doesn't want to let him off so easily. He drags a limp Owens over, covering Shane's limp body with Kevin's for the pin at 39:00. Really long, but exceeded my expectations. Shane continues to be a fucking maniac hard worker even as he pushes fifty years of age, and this was a very satisfying brawl. *** ½
BUExperience: As is pretty par for the course with the WWE these days, this show was fine on a technical level, while unengaging on an emotional one.
**
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.