WWE One Night Stand (June 2007)

Original Airdate: June 3, 2007

From Jacksonville, Florida; Your Hosts are Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, and Tazz

Opening Stretcher Match: Randy Orton v Rob Van Dam: Rob blitzes him with kicks after the stare down, and takes Orton onto the apron for a slingshot guillotine legdrop. Rob keeps firing off kick after kick after kick, and a spinning legdrop sets up some mounted punches. Randy finally manages to get a shot in edgewise, but Rob blocks the RKO with (you guessed it) a kick - only to slip while trying to get to the top rope, and taking a spill to the outside. That was an intentional miss, not a botch. Funny bit, as Orton goes out after him, and a big uppercut knocks Van Dam back so hard that he nearly takes out some poor schlub in the front rows tray of food in the process. Considering how overpriced arena food is, that would have been a tragic. Inside, Randy hits a standing dropkick, and goes to work in dull fashion - as Rob sells like he's suffered a concussion. Orton with a modified powerbomb, and he rolls Rob out onto the stretcher, but Van Dam pops up before Randy can roll him towards the finish line. Rob puts Randy on the stretcher to set up a flying spinning legdrop off of the apron, then back in for a slingshot legdrop. Van Dam with a pair of clotheslines to set up Rolling Thunder, but Randy pops up with a powerslam - in a particularly nicely timed counter. He tries to suplex Rob out of the ring, but Van Dam counters with a dropkick to put Randy on the outside - only to miss a somersault tope suicida after him! Randy dead lifts him onto the stretcher, and he starts rolling towards the finish line, but Rob starts to stir. He manages to trade places with Orton by kicking him in the head, and that's enough to allow Van Dam to roll past the finish line at 14:34. Had a few decent spots, but pretty dull for the most part, and the finish felt really underwhelming. *

Six-Man Tag Team Tables Match: The New Breed v Tommy Dreamer, Sandman, and CM Punk: Marcus Cor Von starts with Dreamer, and they feel each other out a bit. Really? In a Tables match? Cor Von hits a butterfly suplex, and he passes out to Elijah Burke to pound Dreamer in the corner. Snapmare sets up a kneedrop, but a stinger splash misses, and Tommy bulldogs him. Over to Sandman for flapjack, but Burke manages a tag to Matt Striker. He charges, but eats a hiptoss, and Punk tags in with his own bulldog. Nicely taken by Striker there, as he basically landed in a headstand. Punk and Dreamer imitate the Dudley Boyz as they call for tables, but Cor Von blocks Tommy from retrieving one, so Punk hits him with a tope. That brings the rest of the teams into play, and Roseanne Barr the door. Sandman beats on Striker with his cane, and works with Dreamer to tandem vertical suplex Matt on the floor. The rest of the Breed save him from going through a table, however, and they gang up on Punk inside of the ring. Striker brings a table in so they can finish CM off, but Sandman and Dreamer save. Sandman tries to superplex Matt, but ends up getting shoved from the top rope to the floor, and Cor Von hits Punk with a powerbomb. He goes for the kill with the table, but Sandman comes back swinging his cane to save, and Dreamer piledrives Burke. Meanwhile, Punk recovers, and he vertical superplexes Striker through a table for the win at 7:19. Entertaining enough. * ¾

World Tag Team Title Ladder Match: The Hardy Boyz v The World's Greatest Tag Team: Everyone slugs it out to start, and Matt Hardy manages to hit Shelton Benjamin with a bulldog, which allows him to work with Jeff Hardy to tandem vertical suplex Charlie Haas. The champs control with tandem offense, but eat a double-clothesline from Haas, and everyone bails to arm themselves with ladders. That leaves us with all four guys carting their own ladders into the ring, so the Hardy's drop theirs, and throw stereo dropkicks to knock WGTT's ladders back at them! Next, they sandwich Haas and Benjamin between all four of the ladders for Poetry in Motion, and Jeff makes the first climb attempt of the match, but Charlie pulls him down. Haas climbs, but Matt brings him down with an electric chair, and both Boyz decide to climb opposite ends of the ladder - only to have Benjamin throw another ladder at them to put a stop to it. Matt Hardy looks like a dead ringer for Baron Corbin during this period. The challengers hit Jeff with a weird spot where they flip him into the ladder with a tandem toehold, and they make their own simultaneous climb attempt, but Matt pulls them both off. Benjamin responds by (weakly) dropkicking a ladder in his face, and they set up the seesaw spot that the Boyz nearly killed MNM with months prior, but it backfires when both guys get slammed onto ladders. Next sequence of spots sees everyone take turns bumping onto a ladder planked between the ring and barricade, and Matt hits Haas with the Side Effect. Matt climbs, and quite nearly gets the gold this time, but the challengers manage to tip the ladder over to stop him. They set Matt up on another planked ladder on the outside, and Shelton comes off of another ladder in the ring to flying seated senton splash down onto Matt. That sounds better on paper than it looked. Like, even from a kayfabe perspective, that spot makes no sense for Benjamin to try. Haas climbs, but Jeff meets him at the top of the ladder with a vertical superplex to prevent him from snagging the belts. Jeff climbs, but here comes Benjamin with another contrived spot - this time a slingshot somersault dropkick into the ladder to knock him down. I think that might have been a botch, but it's hard to tell, since some of these spots are so needlessly complex. Shelton climbs, but Matt tips the ladder, and adds a neckbreaker before making his own climb attempt. He takes the time to set up a second ladder (despite there being one already set up, and in perfect position first), which is terribly exposing. And, indeed, it leads to all four guys climbing, and slugging it out. Jeff hits Haas with the Swanton Bomb out of the deal, and Matt gets the belts at 17:18. This was fine, but the spots were so obviously choreographed and overwrought that it was hard for me to get invested in it as a match. ** ¾

Lumberjack Match: Kane v Mark Henry: Chris Benoit is one of the lumberjacks here, so I guess this is technically his last pay per view appearance, even if his last actual pay per view match was at Judgment Day. Henry immediately tosses Kane to the outside to start, but all of the lumberjacks on that side are too scared to touch him. Kind of negates the whole point of the match when the dude just voluntarily re-enters, doesn't it? Kane knocks Henry to the outside with a big boot next, but Mark shrugs off the lumberjacks, and climbs back in. Slugfest goes Kane's way to send Henry back to the outside, but the lumberjacks all do literally nothing, so Kane hops out after him. Henry fights him off and rams him into the post out there, and the lumberjacks finally earn their money by lugging Kane back inside. Val Venis is one of the lumberjacks here, and he looks just like Mojo Rawley. Henry with a powerslam for two, and a clothesline leads to a bearhug. Kane tries a chokeslam, but it goes nowhere, and Henry bearhugs him again. Kane manages to escape, and he dumps Mark to the outside for a flying clothesline - taking out a bunch of lumberjacks as well in the process. Back in, Kane slugs at him, and a pair of corner clotheslines connect. Flying clothesline leads to the chokeslam, but suddenly lumberjacks run in and attack him. Kane fights them off, but that allows Henry to recover for another bearhug, and Kane passes out at 9:06. Not only was this a terrible match, but also, I didn't like it. DUD

ECW World Title Street Fight: Vince McMahon v Bobby Lashley: Lashley decides to deal with Vince's entourage before dealing with Vince, and dives after Umaga with a tope suicida, but nearly kills himself with a botched landing. Ouch! Shane tries attacking, but Lashley quickly fights him off, and press-slams Shane onto Umaga. That leaves Vince, and Bobby goes to work, but Shane and Umaga return before he can get too far. Shane DDTs Bobby onto a chair to calm him down, and all three guys work him over. To the outside, the beating continues without pause, and Umaga hits a Samoan drop to give Vince two. Vince with a spear for two, but an attempted splash from Umaga ends up hitting Vince, and Bobby makes a comeback! He clears the sidemen from the ring, and goes to town on Vince with a chair, but Umaga pulls Bobby out of the ring at two following a running powerslam. Umaga adds a superkick out there, and Shane instructs him to flying splash Lashley off the apron. As Shane tries to help Vince recover, Umaga sets Lashley up on an announce table, and the younger McMahon puts him through it with a flying elbowdrop! Nice execution by Shane there. Umaga rolls Bobby in for Vince to pin, but Lashley gets a shoulder up at two! Umaga hits him with the Wrecking Ball, and Shane tries going Coast to Coast, but ends up hitting Umaga by accident! That allows Lashley to spear Shane, and Vince gets one too, for three at 11:25. And hopefully that spells the end for this feud. *

Pudding Match: Melina v Candice Michelle: Melina is the WWE Women's Champion here, but this is non-title. The pudding looks roughly like a giant tub of shit here, which reduces the sexiness factor by about a million. Couldn't they get vanilla? Anyway, do you really need play-by-play here? It's two women in skimpy outfits wrestling around in an inflatable pool filled with pudding. There's not really much more to say about it. They're covered in so much pudding that I'm having a hard time telling which girl is which anyway. Finish comes when Candice holds Melina's head under the pudding, and Melina taps out at 2:59. This failed at literally the one purpose these matches have, as it wasn't even remotely sexy. DUD

World Heavyweight Title Cage Match: Edge v Batista: Edge goes right for the door, but that goes nowhere. He tries to climb, but that hits a wall as well, and Batista beats on him in the corner. Batista with a spear for two, and a vertical suplex gets two, but an attempt to climb gets him dropkicked off the top rope, and Edge spears him against the cage. Edge adds a baseball slide against the cage for two, and he tries for the door, but Batista drags him back by the ankle. Edge responds by exposing a turnbuckle, but Batista blocks a shot into it, so the champ has to revise his plan with the Edge-o-Matic instead. Edge climbs, but Batista vertical superplexes him off the top rope for two, and he tries his own climb escape, but Edge is on his tail. Batista manages to bash Edge's head into the top of the cage to knock him down, but the champion is still stirring, so Batista decides to dive at him - only to get blasted with a dropkick in the process! Both guys stagger to their feet, and end up both trying spears at the same time for a double knockout bit. Batista recovers first, and spears Edge against the cage, then delivers a scrapbuster for two. Edge blocks a corner charge, and tries a 2^nd rope missile dropkick, but Batista dodges, and sends Edge into the cage with a catapult for two. Batista keeps coming with a corner clothesline, and he sends Edge into the cage again to draw blood, but misses a charge, and eats a spear for two. Edge climbs, but his challenger brings him down with a spinebuster for two. Batista Bomb, but Edge grabs onto the top of the cage to block, and he nearly escapes over the top in the process! Batista manages to pull him back over before he can get down, but Edge mulekicks him off the top rope. He resumes his climb, but Batista goes for the door at the same time, and it's a photo finish victory for the champion at 15:38. Good action here, with both guys working hard. ***

Main Event: WWE Title Falls Count Anywhere Match: John Cena v Great Khali: Cena sticks and moves at the bell, but gets caught before long, and Khali pounds him down in his usual exhilarating style. Khali with a big boot and a standing leg lariat, as the announcers talk about how Khali wants to become the first Indian to win the WWE Title. So, that isn't a new obsession for the WWE by any means. Khali with a bodyslam, but he misses a legdrop, and Cena capitalizes with the Throwback. He goes up, but Khali swats him off the top rope, and John takes a bump to the floor for two. They spill into the crowd, where Cena tries using a CRT monitor, but Khali largely ignores him. Cena ups the ante by swinging a camera boom at him, and that gets Khali's attention - putting the big man down for two. FU, but Khali easily blocks, and he press-slams Cena onto a crane sitting near the entrance (there as part of the set). Khali tries a chokeslam off the crane, but Cena counters with an FU to retain at 10:26 - giving Khali his first pinfall loss. Was what it was. Nothing special, but what it needed to be to put this feud to bed. *

BUExperience: Don’t bother. I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine. I promise you won’t ever see me cry.

DUD