Goody Bag 34: It's Only Wrestling (But I Like It)

 
Empty Arena Match: Jerry Lawler v Terry Funk: From CWA on April 4 1981 from (where else) Memphis. They actually bother with a collar-and-elbow tie-up to start, but it quickly breaks down from there, and they spill to the outside in short order. Funk takes a few bumps into the rows of empty chairs out there, and he decides to retreat. He finds a sign marking the section of the arena that he's standing in, and breaks it apart to use as a weapon - beating on Lawler with it before piledriving him on the concrete floor. He rakes the King's eyes, then tosses him into a row of chairs, before ramming Jerry's face into a table several times. Back in, Funk tries to stab Lawler in the eye with a shard of wood he's gotten hold of, but the King fights him off, and kicks the shard into Terry's eye in the process! That leaves Funk down and suffering, and Lawler has a chance to finish him, but opts to show mercy instead, and it's over at 6:00. Definitely worth checking out for the novelty and historical significance, but not much to it as a match. ½*


WWF Intercontinental Title Ladder Match: Razor Ramon v Shawn Michaels: From a WWF house show in San Jose California on January 14 1994. Shawn gets in his face to start, so Razor tosses the toothpick at him, and Michaels bails for some stalling. That's one advantage the WrestleMania match had over these practice runs I've seen - Shawn didn't stall endlessly at the pay per view. Finally back in, Shawn tries to force it into a wrestling match, but Ramon decks him, and a clothesline sends HBK over the top. Razor follows him out for a Razor's Edge on the floor, but Shawn is able to block by shoving him into the post, and he follows up with a bodyslam out there. Back in, Michaels hammers the lower back, and he tosses the Bad Guy over the top to buy time to get the ladder. He manages to drag it down the aisle, but Razor is ready and waiting with a right hand before he can bring it inside, and Ramon hammers him back inside. Cross corner whip flips Shawn right into a punch, so Razor tries bringing the ladder in, but Michaels is ready with a baseball slide. Shawn goes to town with the ladder, and once Ramon is reduced to little more than a pile of grease, Michaels makes the climb. He gets to the top, but Razor manages to slug him down, so Shawn goes to the eyes to buy time. He chucks the ladder at Ramon to keep control, and feels confident enough to climb again following a backbreaker, but Razor pulls his challenger's rights down to stop him. He got a little overzealous there - even 1996 Shawn would have blushed. Michaels rips off a piece of his tights to choke Ramon with, and they spill to the outside, where Razor reverse a shot into the post. He hustles back in to climb, but Michaels dives off the top with a flying axehandle to knock him off. Criss cross goes Ramon's way with a sleeper, but Shawn drops his weight to escape, allowing him to dump Ramon to the outside in the process. Shawn wants to climb, but Razor is back in pretty quickly, so Michaels settles for whipping him into the ladder, but gets reversed! Shawn takes an interesting bump off of that, where it looks like he was trying to fall back with the ladder coming with him, but it wasn't working, so he did a kind of springboard off of it instead. Razor fires up and unloads on the challenger in the corner (complete with wild overselling from Michaels), then grabs the ladder to pay HBK back for earlier! He climbs, but Shawn is able to tip the ladder over to stay in the game, and he plants a superkick on the Bad Guy to knock him silly! He adds a piledriver to make sure, then makes the big climb, but Razor is able to tip him over to save, and Shawn takes a bump over the top to the outside! Razor sees his opportunity, and he climbs, but Shawn rushes in to climb up the opposite end! That results in a slugfest, and Ramon gets the better of it, but both men ultimately end up falling off of the ladder in the process! They both stagger back up opposite sides of the ladder for another slugfest, with Razor again controlling, but Shawn able to take him down with him! Both stagger up once more, and this time Ramon is able to slam him off, but falls in the process as well. I'm thinking that's what they were trying for the second time, but messed up. Not that it looked bad, though. Razor climbs, and this time Shawn can't stop him in time - Ramon retaining at 21:23! Not as good as WrestleMania, but still a great match! I've only seen two of the eight total 'practice run' matches they did ahead of the pay per view (this, and the one from the following night in Los Angeles), and this one is significantly better. This is #3 of 8, and they hadn't worked out a lot of the bits you'd see at the pay per view yet, but the chemistry was there. ****

WWF Intercontinental Title Ladder Match: Jeff Jarrett v Razor Ramon: From the last ever WWF house show at the old Boston Garden on May 13 1995, the night before the first In Your House pay per view. Jarrett blitzes him at the bell, but gets reversed into the ropes, and Ramon starts throwing right hands until the champion bails. Jarrett tries sweeping Razor out as well, but it backfires, and Double J eats the apron. Post, but Jeff manages to reverse that effort, and Roadie gets in his cheap shots. That leads to an extended sequence with the referee, that ends in Roadie getting ejected from the arena. Meanwhile, Ramon recovers, but walks into a pair of corner whips when he gets inside. Dropkick, but Ramon dodges, and a clothesline sends Jarrett over the top. That allows Razor to get the ladder, but Jeff comes at him with a baseball slide to knock it away, and he sends his challenger into the steps. Jeff heads in to climb, but Razor manages to snag his ankle, so Jarrett dives with a flying fistdrop. Ramon isn't staying down, so Jarrett beats on him with the ladder for a bit before climbing again, but Razor tips the ladder over. That leads to both men climbing opposite sides, and they slug it out at the top - Ramon knocking him off, but falling off himself in the process. Jarrett recovers first, and tries whipping Razor into the ladder, but gets reversed. That allows Ramon to go to town with the ladder for a bit to clean house, and he makes a climb, but Roadie runs back out, and tips him off! Jarrett is still down on the outside, so Roadie helps him in, and Jeff retains at 10:32. This was the first of nine ladder matches they'd have together that summer (including the one where Razor won the title at a house show six days after this), and while it was interesting, it wasn't especially good, or anything. **

WWF Title Ladder Match: Shawn Michaels v Goldust: From a WWF house show in Toronto Ontario Canada on August 24 1996, in front of some 21,000 people at Exhibition Stadium. Though they had a house show program for months, this is the one and only ladder match between the two - pictures of which appeared back in a WWF magazine publication back in 1996. Shawn dumps him to the outside early, and dives after him with a plancha. Back in, Michaels tries a flying axehandle, but Goldust gutpunches him out of the air, and he pounds the champion down. Clothesline and a fistdrop hit, allowing Goldust to go out to retrieve the ladder, but Shawn comes at him with a chair! Michaels with a vertical suplex on the floor, but Goldust reverses onto a table, and they go back inside. Goldust with a corner whip to set up the Curtain Call, but Shawn counters to the Superkick - only for Goldust to duck, and both guys to throw clotheslines for a double knockout spot. A little early into the game for that, but it's all good. Goldust recovers first, and tries a slam, but Shawn counters to a rollup, so Goldust drops down to send the champion into the post. That allows Goldust time to expose a top turnbuckle, and he cross corner whips Shawn into it. Goldust then tosses Shawn into it, but a stinger splash misses - the challenger hitting the exposed steel chest-first! That allows Michaels to recover, and he turnbuckle smashes Goldust, but a cross corner whip is reversed, and Shawn takes a flip bump. Catapult sends Shawn flying over the top, and Goldust is on his tail for a shot into the steps. That's enough to allow Goldust to get the ladder to ringside, and he planks it between the ring and the guardrail to snake-eyes Shawn on. Inside, Goldust slams the ladder down onto HBK a few times, and he whips the champion into it - Shawn selling everything like a champ. Which is fitting. Goldust climbs, but Shawn is able to matslam him down, so Goldust tries a suplex, but Michaels blocks by shoving him into the ladder. Shawn keeps coming with a swinging neckbreaker, and a piledriver connects. That allows Shawn to climb, but Goldust tips the ladder over, and Michaels takes a bump across the top rope on the fall. Goldust drives him into the ladder with a facebuster, and he swings the weapon around to send Shawn to the outside. The challenger climbs, but Shawn comes off the top rope with a flying axehandle to save - narrowly dodging the tipping ladder in the process! Sleeper, so Goldust quickly counters with a stunner, but Shawn reverses a whip into the ladder, and comes off the top of it with a flying splash! That leads to both guys climbing opposite sides, and Shawn wins the resulting slugfest - able to stay on the ladder, but Goldust tipping him into getting crotched across the top rope before he can grab the belt! That leaves Shawn tied up in the ropes, and Goldust makes his climb, but Shawn tips the ladder - Goldust taking a bump right into the exposed buckle! Nice callback! Shawn climbs, but Goldust pants him to save, and he tries the Curtain Call off of the ladder - only to get countered with the Superkick, and that's enough at 17:32! This was actually well above and beyond as far as house show matches usually go, and I'm somewhat surprised they never bothered to run this on TV sometime before Shawn lost the belt in November. *** ¼