WWE Tables, Ladders, and Chairs (October 2017)

Original Airdate: October 22, 2017

From Minneapolis, Minnesota; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Booker T, and Corey Graves

Opening Match: Emma v Asuka: Asuka's here! And she's gonna give Charlie Brown a dance lesson! This is Asuka's main roster debut. Emma tries to keep her distance at the bell, but gets over confident at her ability to keep away from Asuka, and ends up feeding her an arm. She's saved by the ropes, and they trade off on the mat for a bit, before Asuka throws a hip attack. Anklelock, but Emma manages to dump her to the outside to escape, then throws a baseball slide when Asuka pops up. That puts Emma in control as they head back in, and a tree of woe gets two. She grounds Asuka in a full-nelson, but Asuka starts throwing strikes, and hooks a rollup for two. Asuka with a 2^nd rope missile dropkick, but Emma fights off an attempt to go for the arm, and a running dropkick gets her two. She gets overconfident again, however, and ends up in an anklelock, shifted into a German suplex. Emma wisely bails, so Asuka heads out onto the apron to go after her, but ends up getting slammed off. Back in, Asuka quickly shrugs Emma off with a kick, and the Asuka-Lock finishes at 9:25. They didn't seem to click here at all, and while the match had all the usual moves, it all felt really forced. Not a good pairing at all. *

Brian Kendrick and Jack Gallagher v Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann: Vic Joseph and Nigel McGuinness take over commentary duties for this one. Brian and Rich start, and they trade off a few shots before Brian tags out. Seriously, that's what Jack wears in the ring now? Before I'm even done typing that sentence, more tags are made, and we end up with Cedric doing a dive onto both Brian and Jack on the outside. Points for effort, but he literally didn't even graze them with that one. He made Charlotte's moonsault press look devastating by comparison. Inside, they cut the ring in half on Kendrick, but Brian manages to dodge Swann in the corner, and tag. Jack works a cravat to wear Rich down, then over to Brian with a butterfly suplex for two. They cut the ring in half on Swann, as I continue to try and wrap my head around Gallagher's outfit. As I do that, Rich manages to fight off a double team long enough to tag, and Cedric comes in hot - Roseanne Barr the door! Brian ends up getting Cedric in the Captain's Hook, but Swann dives off the top with a splash to break it up, and Cedric hits Kendrick with a lungblower for the pin at 7:55. I made zero connection with this. It was just a bunch of spots. *

WWE RAW Women's Title Match: Alexa Bliss v Mickie James: Feeling out process to start, dominated by the veteran Mickie. Alexa's eyes are stunningly beautiful. James hooks a somersault cradle for two, so Alexa tries to hide out in the ropes, but Mickie spanks her. Hilariously, she hurts her hand in the process, so I guess Alexa isn't skipping squat day. That pisses the champion off, and she takes James down for a wristlock, but Mickie is able to escape, and she hits a running big boot for two. Reversal sequence in the corner ends in Mickie having her arm snapped across the top rope, and Bliss goes to work on it. Alexa is so good in this role - everything from the trash talking to the facial expressions are on point. Mickie tries fighting her off with a headscissors takedown out of the corner, but a slugfest results in both girls throwing big knockout blows, and we get a double knockout spot. That leads to another slugfest, and Mickie starts mounting a proper comeback. Bridging rollup gets two, so Alexa tries a standing sunset bomb for two. James cuts her off with a flapjack, and she goes up, but Bliss knocks her off before she can dive. Alexa goes up for Twisted Bliss, but Mickie moves, and she gets another chance at coming off the top - managing a missile dropkick for two this time. It was way off the mark, but whatever, points for perseverance. Mick Kick gets two, so Alexa goes after the bad arm from earlier, and uses it to snap James into a DDT to retain at 11:23. I enjoyed the buildup for this, but the match really under delivered. *

WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: Kalisto v Enzo Amore: Vic Joseph and Nigel McGuinness are on commentary again. Enzo stalls at the bell, but runs into a headscissors takedown, and Kalisto adds a leg-feed enzuigiri to send the challenger to the outside. Enzo charges back in, but Kalisto sidesteps him, and Amore falls back out of the ring - Kalisto diving after him with a nice tope this time. Back in, Amore hides in the ropes, and he manages to drop the champion head-first into the turnbuckle when Kalisto goes after him. Enzo with a modified sidewalk slam for two, but he takes too long following up, and gets kicked in the brain. Enzo manages a cradle anyway for two, and a pitching punch gets two. He works a chinlock, but Kalisto drops him into the corner to escape, and he adds a springboard seated senton for two. Salida del Sol, but Amore blocks, and he delivers a 2^nd rope flying DDT for two. Rocker dropper, but Kalisto blocks, and he tries the Salida again, but Enzo hides in the ropes. He manages to poke the champ in the eyes from there, and a facebuster wins him the purple belt at 8:49. Started off well enough, but fell apart pretty quickly, and never quite recovered. ¾*

Finn Balor v AJ Styles: Styles is subbing for Bray Wyatt, due to a legit illness that was spreading around the locker room in the days leading up to this show. Feeling out process to start, until AJ lands a dropkick during a criss cross, but misses a corner charge, and eats an enzuigiri. That allows Balor to ground him in a surfboard, then into a toehold, but Styles has the ropes. Reversal sequence ends in Balor dropkicking him out of the ring, but an attempt at a dive is thwarted when AJ slides back in, and takes his head off with a clothesline on the runway. Nice timing there, and the camera angle perfectly accentuated the spot. AJ with a well executed snap suplex to set up a kneedrop for two, and a slingshot forearm is worth two. As good as the camera work was on that earlier spot, they totally blew the love by then cutting to the crowd right in the middle of the next sequence. Style with a backbreaker, and an enzuigiri is worth two. He hammers Finn with chops, but Balor responds in kind, and an enzuigiri sends AJ to the outside. This time Styles is too loopy to counter the follow-up, and Balor leaps with a somersault senton suicida. Back in, Balor hits him with a sling blade, but a charge is countered with a fireman's neckbreaker! Styles Clash, but Balor blocks, so AJ reroutes with a wheelbarrow facebuster for two. Finn fights back with a double-stomp (their ill-timed full screen replays caused us to miss whatever the transition was there), and a seated dropkick in the corner rattles AJ, but he still manages to slap on the Calf Crusher! Finn escapes, so AJ tries the Phenomenal Forearm, but Balor shoves him off the ropes as he tries, and Styles is down on the outside again. Balor goes after him with a punt off the apron, and a running dropkick knocks Styles into the barricade. He looks for a follow-up, but AJ railroads him into the announce table to cut that off, and both guys are left down. They tease a double countout, but both ultimately beat it in. Both try a bodypress at the same time and collide, and the same happens when both try a clothesline. That leads to a slugfest, and Balor is able to control with a pele kick. Reversal sequence ends in Finn hitting an inverted DDT, which leads to the reverse 1916 for two. Running dropkick sets up the Coup de Grace, but Styles pops up with his own pele kick just as Finn gets to the top rope! That leaves Balor sitting on the top turnbuckle, so AJ brings him down with a springboard rana for two! Springboard 450 splash looks to finish, but Finn dodges, and another running dropkick allows him to try the Coup again - landing it this time for the pin at 18:15! And when I say 'landed,' I mean LANDED! Dude really drove it in there. Good match, but not nearly at the level that people were expecting when it was announced. *** ½

Jason Jordan v Elias: Feeling out process to start, with Jordan initially controlling, but ending up in a headlock, then an armbar. Criss cross allows Jason a powerslam for two, and a dropkick is worth two. He looks for the suplexes, but Elias is able to block, and a high knee to the back sends Jason crashing into the turnbuckle. Elias drives him chest-first into the apron a couple of times for two, and a clothesline gets two. He grounds Jason in a mat-based abdominal stretch, but Jordan escapes, so Elias uses the standing version of the hold instead. Jason reverses into an escape, and he starts mounting a comeback. Overhead suplex and a spear lead to a spinning side suplex for two, but an attempt at a superplex is blocked, and Elias viciously slams him. That was like Hogan-suplexing-Virgil-on-the-floor-at-WrestleMania-IV-without-any-support level rough. Elias looks to finish, but Jason gets a small package out of nowhere for three at 8:47. Weak finish there. ¾*

Main Event: Handicap Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match: Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Kurt Angle v Miz, Braun Strowman, Cesaro, Sheamus, and Kane: Angle is subbing for Roman Reigns (also out due to a legit illness), and this marks his first WWE match since 2006. Glad to see they're easing him back in. He also looks like a total 'cool dad' while making the entrance through the crowd with the young guys. They arm themselves with chairs as they make their way into the ring against the larger crew, and manage to clear everyone except Braun and Kane out. The big guys work them over, but eventually get overwhelmed by the whole 'three guys beating them with chairs' thing, as the crowd pops off a huge 'YES' chant. Dean and Seth dive onto Miz, Sheamus, and Cesaro with stereo topes, then grab a ladder to knock them down like bowling pins when they get back up. Meanwhile, Kurt grabs a ladder of his own, and he goes to town on Strowman. Kane starts to recover in the ring, so Seth dives with a springboard high knee, and Ambrose sends him to the outside with a dropkick. Kurt gives Kane some ladder love out there, but Sheamus and Cesaro prevent them from putting him through a table. It's kind of crazy to think that this is Angle's big return, and meanwhile, Kane started in the WWE while Kurt was still an Olympic hopeful, and here he still is. Anyway, Seth and Dean manage to get Strowman and Kane on separate announce tables, and they dive off of side by side ladders to put them through them. Miz finally shows up for the first time since the start, but Kurt beats him with a chair before he can do much. Sheamus and Cesaro save, and with Seth and Dean still down following the double tables spot, they're able to overwhelm Angle. They look to finish him off, but Seth and Dean rush in for the save, and the those four end up brawling on the outside. That leaves Kurt alone with Miz, and he manages to pop off a three-alarm rolling German suplex. Sheamus runs in, but Kurt German suplexes him as well, and Cesaro gets the same treatment. Meanwhile, Kane has recovered, so Kurt tries to suplex him, but gets choked. Angle sweeps him down into the Anklelock, but Strowman saves, and he tosses Kurt into the barricade on the outside, then running powerslams him through a table out there! That brings the EMTs out, and it looks like Angle is done. Nevertheless, Seth and Dean rush over to attack Strowman on their own, but it doesn't take long for that strategy to crash and burn. The heels go to town as Angle is carried off by the EMTs, as the match starts to turn into a non-magical version of Rumble '94. But hey, at least the Undertaker family is finally on the right side of one of these. The five-on-two beating drags on forever, including Strowman teasing a fight with Kane after getting accidentally hit with a chair. They make peace long enough for Sheamus and Cesaro to tandem crucifix powerbomb Ambrose onto a table, and Cesaro's expression when the table doesn't break it pretty funny. Braun shows him how its done by whipping Dean through it in the corner instead. They beat them both up onto the entrance stage, where there's a garbage truck for some reason. Wut? I can see why the tables, the ladders, and the chairs are here - but why a garbage truck? Is it from something? Like, a local commercial? Anyway, they try to put the Shield guys in the trash compactor, but that fails, and Seth and Dean dive off the top of the truck onto all of the heels. Except for Miz, of course, who is running away. They chase him down to beat with chairs, but Kane and Strowman save before they can put him through a table. Unfortunately, the two monsters end up fighting, and Kane chokeslams Strowman off of the stage. Braun keeps coming, so Kane rips down a piece of the set that features a bunch of chairs hanging down from the ceiling, and the whole mess crashes down onto Strowman. Or, well, theoretically it does, as we don't actually see them landing. Cool spot anyway, though. All this has allowed Seth and Dean enough time to recover (but, apparently, not Sheamus and Cesaro, who are STILL off recovering from a simple flying axehandle five minutes ago), and they gang up on Kane. That gets them both chokeslammed through tables, and the heels try to stuff them into the trash compactor again. They get distracted by Braun pulling himself out of the chair pile rubble, however, and he's super pissed. He plows through his own team on his way to Kane, but gets attacked by all four as he tries to put Kane into the compactor, and ends up going in himself! Between this and the set collapse bit, he's running the full gauntlet of Ninja Turtles villain deaths here. Shredder ain't got nothin' on him, baby! Okay, now with Strowman apparently good and murdered, the heels can go back to focusing on working over Seth and Dean. They take them back to the ring, but watching Cesaro springboard around somehow loses it's impact after just having seen a man murdered in a trash compactor on live television. Before they can finish, Angle makes his big return (you know, other than this match, which is ALSO his big return), and both Sheamus and Cesaro eat Olympic slams on the floor. Meanwhile, Seth and Dean put Kane through the barricade on the outside, but that allows Miz to sneak up on Angle with the Skull Crushing Finale for two. He tries another, but Kurt counters into the Anklelock! Miz is able to escape (with poor Kurt nearly breaking his neck while taking a simple spill out of the ring on the escape), but Miz's efforts are only enough to buy him a little time before all three babyfaces corner him. They tee off, and a triple-powerbomb spot finishes at 35:29. I like how they booked it so Kurt barely had to do anything, but he still managed to nearly break his neck. This was fun and chaotic, but at well over a half hour, felt like it really overstayed its welcome. ** ¾

BUExperience: I really wouldn’t bother with this one. Balor/Styles is the only standout match, and even that, while good, fell well short of greatness. Angle’s return is cool and significant, but ultimately felt like a waste, given how he was basically shoehorned into the match to replace an ill Roman Reigns at the last minute. You can skip this one.

DUD