HITMAN383 Rant for WCW World War 3 1995

- The HITMAN383 Rant for WCW World War 3, 1995. I got a good deal on some tapes this weekend (this, SuperBrawl VI, Starrcade 1996, and In Your House: Final Four) so I decided we’d give them all a whirl, in that order. (This was originally written in late 2001)

- BTW, I use this system:
***** - Excellent,
**** - Great,
*** - Good,
**- Okay,
* - Decent,
DUD – Nothing Match.

- The wrestlers give their thoughts on the 60-man, three-ring, battle royal for the world title. This is the typical pre-Royal Rumble soundbytes type stuff here. Notable, when asked what he’d do if he were the world champion, Eddie Guerrero answers: “It’s not expected that I’ll be a champion.” Well, at least he knows his place. (Who would have ever thought he’d end up not only winning the WWE Title, but doing so at a WrestleMania! And on the same show as Chris Benoit, no less)

- Live from Norfolk, Virginia.

- Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone, and Bobby Heenan.

- Mean Gene stands with Hulk Hogan, Sting, and Randy Savage. The point is Hogan wants to burn his evil black outfit (don’t ask), and then yells and screams about the “dirt sheet writers” saying that Giant was winning the title tonight. He also claims that Macho Man’s arm is okay (which is wasn’t) just to try to dis-prove the “rag sheet boys.” He then goes WAY out, and claims that the only real truth is on the Internet. What the hell WAS this segment? (Yeah, this segment was all kinds of legendary level weird. WCW was in an odd reactionary place at the time, where they’d change long term booking plans strictly to disprove Observer rumors – even if those changes were detrimental to the product and/or logic) Also, why were Sting and Savage (also in the battle royal) so enthusiastic about Hogan promising a win? (“Still better than sitting at the commentary desk” – Randy Savage, probably)

- Review of the Dallas Page/Johnny B. Badd feud over Kimberly and $6,000,000.

- Opening Match for Kimberly, $6,000,000 and the WCW Television Title: Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page: Talk about a lot up for grabs. This might be a LITTLE oversaturated. Slow start, with Page showboating, so Badd tackles him, and they brawl to the floor. Page dominates out there, then takes it back in, where Badd hits a bodypress for two. Criss cross allows the champ a Samoan drop for two, and he hooks a mat-based headlock. DDP cradles his way into some two counts from it, then turns it into an overhead wristlock. Badd turns that into an arm bar, so Page takes the simple way out, and stomps his face. Arm bar of his own now, so Badd takes the Owen Hart flip flop way out, then dumps Dallas to the outside. He hits a slingshot bodyblock out after him, so he pulls a Randy Savage, and hides behind Kim. It works, and he tosses Badd into the rail, then back in the ring. Page posts him inside, and hits a side suplex. Pancake/tombstone type move hits, and he wants Kim’s approval, but she refuses. He takes that aggression out on Badd, and hits a lariat for two. Again, he wants a “10” from Kim, but no dice, so he charges Johnny, but misses, and hits the post. He still keeps control, however, and decks the champ. Criss cross allows Johnny to kick him in the face, and then hammer away on him. Atomic drop, and a lariat pops the crowd. He asks Kim’s approval, and gets it, so he hits a sitdown powerbomb for two. He runs into an elbow, however, and Page gets two (with use of the ropes), then hits a tilt-a-whirl sidewalk slam for two, which Badd cradles for two. Johnny with a flying headscissors, and he tries a slingshot splash, but hits the knees. Tilt-a-whirl stomach breaker for two, so Badd tries a German suplex, but eats elbow. Tombstone, but Badd reverses, and hits it nicely for two. He decks Page to the floor, and hits the Badd Move (a slingshot butt-bomb type move) (AKA: somersault plancha), and he hits a slingshot legdrop on the inside for the win at 12:34. Kim is in shock. These two have always been good together, and this is no exception, with a fine outing to warm up the crowd. ***. Now they can both go home, and nail their incredibly hot wives.

- Pinfalls or Knockouts Only Match: Big Bubba Rodgers vs. Jim Duggan: Duggan jumps him in the aisle to start, and beats him around the three rings. Inside, he decks him with the taped fists, and threatens him with the 2x4. That eats up a while, and a criss cross allows Hacksaw a clothesline. He doesn’t fall, however, so two more knock him to the outside. Yawn. They go into an alternate ring, where Duggan continues the assault, and sticks his head between the posts of two rings. It sounds more interesting than it is, trust me. Bubba whacks him in his big ass gut off an axehandle attempt, and he starts to cry, as the ref starts the count. They get to four, and Rodgers decks him again. Inside, bodyshots. Yawn, and double yawn. He’s no Vader, believe me. I mean, Ray fought Vader like 1,000 times in 1994 … he couldn’t learn SOMETHING? More punches. Bubba does my heart proud, and keeps this fiasco out of negative stars with an enzuiguri. He then spends eons taping his fist, as Bobby suggests he tape Duggan to the ropes. Yes, I’m sure a grown, 300 pound man, can’t bust out of SPORTS TAPE stuck to ELEVATOR CABLE. Bubba actually has the balls to try this spot, as Tony calls it a “very good move.” Duggan, bless his dumb ass heart, actually sells that he can’t get out, and takes a pounding. Hey, at least the handcuffs were a believable ploy … this is just sad. Bubba charges, and “runs into” Jim’s fist (which missed by about a foot), and Duggan backdrops him to the floor. He then realizes he’s TAPED TO THE ROPES, and just busts out, and rolls Bubba back in. Slam, and his football clothesline hits. Meanwhile, V.K. Wallstreet (better known as IRS of the WWF) makes his way down with a chain around his fist, but Duggan whacks him with the board. Bubba still gets the chain, however, and whacks Hacksaw with it. The ref counts, and Bubba gets the KO win at 10:00, to a boo-vation. I can’t believe the crowd actually CARED! I’d be cheering wildly that the bout was OVER. I wanted to keep this out of the negative stars, but the stupidity of the tape spots just can’t allow me to. -*.

- Gene is with Ric Flair, who cuts a great promo on what he’s gonna do to Sting tonight.

- Cutie Suzuki and Mayumi Ozaki vs. Bull Nakano and Akira Hokato: I don’t give a crap about Japanese wrestling OR women’s wrestling, so don’t expect me to give a shit. You know Heenan’s drunk, when he claims that these women are “great looking.” Yeah, have ANOTHER drink, big guy. Bull whoops everyone to start, and tags Akira for some submission holds. Bobby, as a testament to alcohol, starts talking about how hard these girls train, and reels off the line, “it’s not something they do on the weekend, because they got laid off at the Laundromat!” Yeah, five more minutes and he’ll ask for a manicure or something. Nakano’s gut stops the face offense, and they do some innovative punishment to really confuse the crowd. The faces get both heels in half-crabs, popping the crowd, but these are the same people that popped for Duggan/Big Bubba, so don’t take their reactions as any indication. The faces miscommunicate with eachother, so Bull hits a powerbomb, but misses a moonsault. She must have trained with Vader. The faces then take repeated turns at hitting double foot stomps on her gut off the top, but take a double suplex. They keep control, however, and whoop the faces. The faces keep hitting some Rockers-esque double team moves for two, but Hokato hits a vicious German suplex, nearly killing poor Ozaki. A double dropkick from Hokato knocks both faces to the floor, and she flips out after both! Wow! Inside, a vicious, crazy doomsday device gets two. Man, she landed right on her neck! Bull’s pissed now, and finishes with a flying legdrop at 9:15. Very good match up, but I still don’t particularly care. *** ¼. (I like my meh attitude about the match, while also giving it three-and-a-quarter stars at the same time)

- Lex Luger comes out to talk with Gene, and promises to snap Macho Man Savage in half.

- WCW United States Title Match: Kensuki Sasaki vs. Chris Benoit: Benoit goes right to work with chops, just to piss on Sasaki’s leg a little, so Sasaki gives him a few of his own, as the crowd naps. Yeah, pop for Duggan and not Benoit, you dumb fucks. Not that I really blame them … this one sucks so far. They fight over armbars for a while (a very long while), until Sasaki decides to slam him a couple times for a few two counts. Chinlock eats up some more time, and a criss cross allows the champ a press slam. Wow, five minutes in, and we have a good spot. It spills out, where Benoit hits a crazy dive through the ropes, and bumps his head on the railing in the process. Nice spot, there. In, Chris hits a snap suplex for one. Benoit hooks a mat-based headscissors, so Kensuki responds with a powerslam for two. Meanwhile, Sonny Ono comes to the broadcast booth to fill us in on the endless “WCW Pro” conflict over on TBS. If you don’t know, you’re lucky. Meanwhile, Benoit hits the rolling German’s, and a tombstone to set up the flying headbutt. It hits beautifully, and gets two, so he chops away. Upstairs, he hits a rana for two, waking up the fans. Sasaki gets sick of this workrate shit, and hits a powerbomb, then hooks an armbar submission. Chris quickly makes the ropes, so he takes a clothesline, and the champ hits a brainbuster to retain the WCW U.S. title at 9:59. Bad match, that got better towards the end thanks to Chris Benoit’s efforts. *.

- Gene is with the Giant and Kevin Sullivan, who say Giant is gonna take the title tonight. Man, these segments are long and pointless, aren’t they? Much like WCW’s existence in general.

- Buildup to Luger vs. Savage. Essentially, Lex joined WCW on the first Nitro (remember THAT show?) in September 1995, and Randy (rightly) didn’t trust him, saying he was a member of the Dungeon of Doom. At Halloween Havoc, when everyone attacked Hogan after his match with Giant, Savage came out to help, along with Lex, but Luger turned on the faces, and, indeed, joined the DOD. So, we have a very good angle, and we have this match up.

- Savage comes out for a pre-match interview. The usual. “I’m gonna win, blah, blah, blah.” I don’t know why I even cover these segments anymore.

- Randy Savage vs. Lex Luger: Savage BADLY wants Luger, and jumps him right away, beating his ass all around the ring in classic Macho Man style. Notable: Randy’s arm is HEAVILY taped up (remember, Hulk said it was FINE at the top of the show), and he noticeably doesn’t use it very much. Boston crab by Savage, but Lex easily makes the ropes. It spills to the outside, where Luger eats railing. In, Savage slams him. Big elbow hits, so Jimmy Hart (Luger’s second) distracts the ref, and stops a count. Randy responds by dumping Lex to the floor, and into the rail again. Randy tries to whip him into the ring apron, but gets reversed, and Macho hits hard. Lex racks him on the floor (why?), then rolls back in, and leaves him for dead. He changes his mind, opting for a pinfall victory, so he rolls him back in. There, he hooks an armbar on the bad arm (a simple armbar), and gets the submission win at 5:29. Lex won’t let off, however, so Sting runs out, and talks Lex out of hurting Macho. This was a very interesting storyline, with Sting playing the middle man, and generally it was very well done for a WCW angle. Bad match, however. DUD.

- Buildup to Flair vs. Sting. It all starts when Arn Anderson beat Ric at Fall Brawl. Ric then looks to Sting for help against the Horsemen. So, at Halloween Havoc, they teamed up against Anderson and Brian Pillman. Flair, of course, turned on Sting, and so we have this grudge match. Another good angle! In the same year! On the same show! Wow!

- Ric Flair vs. Sting: This would later be the last match on the last Nitro. And they always work well together, so this should be pretty good, since this is still 1995. They verbally jab to start, so Sting then physically jabs him, so Flair bails into the next ring. Sting follows, and jabs him again, then hits a big press slam. The crowd is WAY, WAY into this one, I’ll tell ya. Flair, the dirtiest player in the game, goes to the eyes to take over, and then lays in the chops. Sting comes back with a big clothesline, and does the 10-punch count in the corner. Hip toss, and a dropkick sends Flair into the third ring, as Sherri and Robert Parker make their way down. Meanwhile, Flair chops away, but Sting no sells, and hammers the Nature Boy. Clothesline to the floor, and Flair bails up the aisle. I’d walk, and stay fresh for the world title battle royal, personally. Flair, ever the trooper, comes back in anyway, and works the arm. Sting refuses to lose, however, and no sells EVERYTHING. Press slam hits, and Ric bails out again. Sting follows, but misses a Stinger Splash, and hits the rail. Flair gets a chair, but the ref wrestles it away, so Ric rams him into the rail instead. Chops, and eye rakes subdue Sting, and they go back into the original ring. More chops, more no selling, so Flair goes down low, which IS sold. Flair works the ribs, as Parker and Sherri sit on the stage next to the entrance area, where Gene Okerlund has been interviewing people all night long. Knee drop hits, as the crowd whoos the Nature Boy on, and now he works the knee of the Stinger. Gee, pick a part. As Bret Hart said, Ric is kind of all over the map with his psychology. But, what works works, I always say. Flair distracts the ref, and takes the opportunity to toss Sting over the top (a DQ at this point), then whoops him on the floor. Damn, Ric, cut the carbs … your gut is pretty loose there. Over to another ring, Flair keeps the hurt on the knee. Side suplex, and he hooks the figure four, popping the crowd. Sting no sells it, however, and reverses the hold. Flair cries, but rolls through to the ropes, breaking the hold. Hip toss fails, so Sting turns it into a backslide for two. Flair with chops again, desperatly trying to take control, but Sting plays the Road Warriors, and no sells. Back to the first ring again, Sting press slams him, and hits a series of clotheslines. Eye rake turns the tide for Ric, and he goes upstairs, but (naturally) gets slammed right off. What’s new? Flair flip, and a clothesline knocks him down. 10-punch count in the corner, so Ric atomic drops, but it fails to have effect. Up top again, Sting superplexes him down, and locks the Deathlock. It proves to be enough, as Flair smartly submits to stay uninjured for the main event, at 14:30. Good match, that was an easy ***, and felt even better because the crowd was so pumped up for it, and it FELT like an epic.

- Buildup to World War III. This all came about with the fiasco from Halloween Havoc with the world title DQ situation with Hogan and the Giant. It all led to a vacant world title, and this battle royal to find a new champion. Giant was also still being sold as the “son of Andre” at this point, BTW.

- Hulk Hogan comes out to cut another “I’m winning” promo.

- Since there are three rings, there are three announce teams (one for each ring). You have Tony and Bobby, Eric Bischoff and Dusty Rhodes (oh G-D no), and finally, Chris Cruise and Larry Zbyszko.

- Main Event: WCW World Title World War III Battle Royal: Three rings, 60 men. Once every ring comes down to 10 guys, they merge, and have a single battle royal for the title belt. Good idea in theory, I’d say. In theory. It’s actually very interesting, but because they split the thing into three split screens, and it’s all a bunch of chaos, it’s very hard to call and/or watch. This is the best I can do: Everyone does the normal battle royal shit, with the big names teasing eliminations here and there, and everyone else going out once in a while. It’s pretty obvious that the idea is to dump the jobbers and JTTS, then leave it to the big stars to do a 30-man battle royal. Smart in one way, dumb in another. Anyway, this drags on forever and ever, until about 16:00 minutes in (forever, sixteen minutes – whatever!), when the rings merge.
- The DOD works Hogan in the final battle royal, while Luger and Savage fight, and Flair fights Sting. Of note: Dusty Rhodes picks Brian Pillman, of all people, to take this whole thing. Okay (…). Whatever you say there, big guy. (Can you imagine Hogan putting over Brian Pillman? Better yet, can you imagine Bret Hart’s reaction upon hearing about it?) Jim Duggan is done, as is Big Bubba. Road Warrior Hawk tosses Disco Inferno, and Dave Taylor also gets bounced. Hugh Morris gets in the middle of a Giant/One Man Gang confrontation, and takes a beating as a result. Harlem Heat and the Nasty Boys dump eachother, and Hogan tosses Kevin Sullivan as an afterthought. Savage and Luger fight to a separate ring, just because they can, but they didn’t go over the top, so they’re still in this thing. Page and Badd eliminate eachother, and Craig Pittman gets dumped by Morris. Benoit falls, as the DOD works on Hogan and Savage. Meng gets tossed by the Gang, as Sting hits the 10-punch count on Flair. Beefcake goes via Pillman, and Hugh gets dumped like the sack of shit he is. Pillman’s done for the night, and tries to take the U.S. champ with him, so Hogan comes over and casually dumps Hawk and Sasaki. He takes Paul Orndorff out next, as Eddie Guerrero takes the fight to Arn Anderson and Ric Flair, in an excellent little mini-match. Sting helps out, since Eddie gets double teamed, but Guerrero still takes a spinebuster. He’s done. Down to: Flair, Sting, Gang, Savage, Giant, Anderson, Luger and Hogan. Good field, really. Stinger Splashes for everyone! Savage takes the brunt of Flair and Giants abuse, including a big chokeslam. Flair’s up to help Arn hit a spike piledriver on Sting, so Sting escapes, and slingshots Arn into the corner, knocking Flair to the floor, and Arn over the top. Big pop for that, and rightly so, it was an amazing spot. Sting and Luger double team Giant, and try to dump him, so Hulk runs over, and tosses all three! Yeah, some friend to Sting he turned out to be. (Was there a time Hogan WASN’T a huge prick in a battle royal? Like, ever?) Giant’s pissed about it, however, and whacks Hulk on the floor. Meanwhile, Gang’s gone via Savage. In the ring, however, the refs have declared Randy Savage the new WCW champion at 29:40, despite the fact that Hogan was never thrown over the top. Hulk runs back in, and argues the decision, trying to rather fan support for himself, but the crowd is totally behind Macho Man, and boos Hogan like a cheap sport. (You’d think he’d know better after the exact same thing happened to him at the Royal Rumble in 1992. And that was a WWF crowd, who had loved and adored him for years. Considering that WCW fans were already hostile towards him to begin with, what could possibly possess him to pull that shit again?) Honnestly, however, he didn’t get tossed, but he sure is acting like a baby about it, even pushing around Mean Gene. They yell and scream at eachother, and agree to review the film the next night on Nitro. Good angle, says I. The match sucked SERIOUS ass for the first 16:00 minutes or so, when it was ULTRA confusing, but once it got into one ring, it was decent, and very entertaining with the storylines. ½*.

- Bottom Line: Okay, so the main event sucked serious ass, so there was a lesson to be learned. WCW got a new champ with a gimmicky match, and it didn’t work out for the best. So, what to do? If you’re WCW, run the match three more times (!!), despite how much it sucked, and how much the novelty wore off. If it were a one time deal, I could forgive it, believe me. It was a good idea the first time, really. (World War 3 was such a flawed concept – right down to the name (like, should the next year be ‘World War 4?’ Yeah, it worked alright the first time because of the novelty and the big stakes, but once they actually ran the match and people saw what a confusing mess it was, it lost its mojo. Couple that with the fact that there were no real stakes in the future incarnations, and it’s no wonder that the concept wasn’t a draw) The show itself really isn’t bad, however. Good angles all around, and good efforts in the opener, the women’s tag match, and Flair vs. Sting. The rest wasn’t too great, but the angles made up for it, and saved this show in spades.

- Still, I can’t go any higher than a Mild Recommendation.