WWE Judgment Day (May 2005)

Original Airdate: May 22, 2005

From Minneapolis, Minnesota; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz

Opening WWE Tag Team Title Match: MNM v Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas: Johnny Nitro starts with Haas, and works an overhead wristlock, but Charlie escapes by armdragging him out of the ring. Nitro bumps around like a pinball both inside and outside of the ring, and another armdrag gets two. I don't think I've ever seen anyone cover after an armdrag since 1982. Both guys tag out, and a criss cross ends in Holly planting a dropkick on Joey Mercury. Holly starts chopping everything that moves, but an attempt to Alabama slam Mercury is stopped with a well placed superkick from Nitro. The tag champs cut the ring in half on Holly, but Bob manages to snapmare Nitro, and hit a full-nelson slam to allow the tag to Charlie. He's a Haas of fire, but walks into a double-team, and the Snapshot retains at 8:05. Though he looked a bit out of place in the ring with all these young guys, the match benefitted from Holly's experience. *

Big Show v Carlito: You know, everyone's always bitching about how Big Show should retire already these days, but no one seems to be coming up with any alternative solutions for the guy. I mean, he needs to make an income, regardless of whether or not we approve. Why not get him an audition to become Rick Harrison's stunt double on Pawn Stars, or something? Like, for when they have to test out the really dangerous pawns, or whatever. Let's pull some strings, guys. We need to be the change we want to see! Anyway, Carlito tries to evade, but gets caught in the corner, and tossed around. Matt Morgan interferes to allow Carlito to take over, but he has trouble maintaining, and Show headbutts him. Pair of corner whips set up an avalanche, but the referee gets bumped, and Morgan interferes again. He impressively gives Show a fireman's carry facebuster, and Carlito scores the fall at 4:44. Seriously, guys - let's get on that stunt double idea. ¼*

WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: Paul London v Chavo Guerrero: The Chavito bandito! Kickfest to start, controlled by Chavo. He hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker in between various kicks, then snapmares the champ into an overhead wristlock. London escapes with a pair of clotheslines, and a rana gets two, but he runs into a knee in the corner, and Chavo unloads uppercuts. Paul manages to shoot back with a flying double-stomp and a dropkick, but he goes for the 450 splash too early, and hits knees. Ouch! Chavo goes right after the abdomen, and he plants London with a side suplex for two. Guerrero punts at the midsection to leave London scrambling for breath, then drops him stomach-first across the top rope for two. Abdominal stretch, but Paul escapes, so Chavo whips him front-first into the corner. Backdrop, but London lands on his feet, and throws a leg lariat for two. Enzuigiri gets two, but a victory roll is stopped short by Chavo for two. Powerbomb, but Paul counters with a spinheel kick, and heads up, so Chavo bails. London decides to dive after him with a flying somersault bodyblock, though Chavo totally fucks up on properly catching him, and London takes a nasty bump. They work it into the match, and Chavo nails him with a tope - now London catching him wrong on that. Yuck. Back in, Guerrero tries a powerbomb off the top rope, but London backdrops him down, then hits the 450 to retain at 10:42. Short and effective - much like the competitors themselves. ** ¼

Kurt Angle v Booker T: Booker comes in hot and destroys Kurt at the bell, unleashing a barrage of punches, kicks, and chops. The Olympian slows him down with a front-facelock, however, and powers him into the corner to take control with a series of forearms. Snapmare sets up a chinlock, but Booker escapes with a hiptoss, and snaps Kurt's throat across the top rope. Snapmare of his own sets up a seated dropkick, so Kurt begs off, but it's a ploy to try for the Anklelock. Booker is able to fight him off before getting trapped, however, and he drapes Angle over the top rope to setup an axekick to the floor. Kurt is able to knock him into the post out there, however, and back in Angle delivers a series of kneelifts. Vertical suplex gets two, and Kurt grounds him with a chinlock for a bit. Into the corner, Angle unloads with rights, then grounds him again with a waistlock. Booker escape with a spinkick, and a vertical suplex is worth two. Axekick is countered into the Olympic Slam, but Booker counters back with the BookEnd for two. Axekick, but Kurt counters again - this time with a clothesline. Kurt with a two-alarm rolling German suplex, and a release overhead suplex for two. Anklelock, but Booker counters with an inside cradle for the pin at 14:08. Not a bad match, but they didn't really click, and it never got going beyond the basics. Angle's heat segment was also really dull, and killed the entire middle portion of the match. *

WWE United States Title Match: Orlando Jordan v Heidenreich: Jordan attacks with a baseball slide while Heidenreich is busy reading poems to a pre-teen girl he literally abducted from ringside, and brings him in for a turnbuckle smash, but runs into a powerslam for two. Orlando manages a nasty side suplex for two, then slaps on a headvise, but Heidenreich starts no-selling, and backdrops Jordan. Big boot gets two, but another backdrop is countered with a swinging neckbreaker for two. Jordan with a DDT to retain at 4:55. I think the poem was longer than the actual match. DUD

Eddie Guerrero v Rey Mysterio: Another go, after the disappointing WrestleMania bout. Stare down to start, and an exchange of slaps quickly devolves into a slugfest - controlled by Guerrero. Criss cross goes Rey's way with a punt to the ribs, and he mounts Guerrero with some rights, so Eddie bails. Rey goes after him, but gets sent into the steps, then into the announce table for good measure. Back in, Eddie stomps him down, and hits a dropkick for two. Side suplex gets two, and Eddie slaps on an abdominal stretch. Eddie's outfit tonight looks like it came from Jake Roberts' discard pile, circa 1990. Rey escapes, so Eddie flapjacks him for two, then applies a half-crab. Rey escapes with an enzuigiri, and hits a backdrop, followed by a springboard headbutt for two. Slugfest goes Mysterio's way, but Eddie throws a dropkick to the midsection to cut him off, then applies a Boston crab. He shifts into an STF to prevent Rey from making the ropes, but it only slows down the inevitable - Mysterio getting the ropes. Eddie responds by tossing him out of the ring for more punishment with the steps, but Rey knocks him into the post to block. Back in, they get into yet another slugfest - won by Rey with a big boot and a series of clotheslines. Springboard bodypress gets two, and a spinheel kick sets up a springboard seated senton for two. Ten-punch works, but a cross corner charge doesn't, and Eddie superplexes him for two. Two-alarm rolling vertical suplex, but Mysterio counters a third alarm with a drop-toehold, so Eddie bails. He brings a chair back in with him, but Rey dropkicks it away from him, and hits the 619. West Coast Pop looks to finish, but Guerrero swats him out of the air with the chair - getting disqualified in the process at 18:28. Even without the mask troubles that plagued them at WrestleMania, it was nothing special this time around either, and it felt considerably forced - like they were trying to have a classic by sheer force of willpower. The WrestleMania match was considerably better, actually, and the DQ ending didn't help matters here, either. Plus, who the fuck booked this to rely so heavily on brawling to begin with? * ½

Main Event: WWE Title I Quit Match: John Cena v John Bradshaw Layfield: This is the pay per view debut of the Spinner belt - without a doubt the ugliest title belt design in all of history. The fact that is lasted for nearly a decade is perplexing, especially since I think everyone figured it would only be used for Cena (ala the Smoking Skull belt for Austin during the Attitude Era), and not the actual official design. John works a headlock in the early going, and armdrags his challenger into an armbar. JBL grabs the ropes and bails to the floor in frustration, but Cena vertical suplexes him back in. Bradshaw manages a DDT, but his cover warrants no count, to hammer home that it's I Quit rules only. John shrugs him off with a backdrop and a clothesline over the top, then follows Bradshaw out with a flying elbowsmash. Cena rams him into the steps, but a whip into the rail is reversed, and they spill into the crowd for a bit. Back to ringside, Bradshaw whips him into the steps, then literally whips him with a belt, but Cena won't quit. Bradshaw tries a piledriver through the announce table, but Cena backdrops him through it to block, so Bradshaw hits him with a chair to draw blood. John's selling veers into goofy territory a bit, but it's a strong bladejob, so that's easily forgiven. Inside, JBL works the cut, but Cena won't quit. A few short-clotheslines don't do the trick either, so Bradshaw grabs Cena's bling chain to use as a garrote. Bradshaw requests that Cena quit, but John responds by punching him, and executing a hiptoss, followed by a side suplex. Five Knuckle Shuffle, and Cena is wearing a full crimson mask at this point. That's so jarring to see, given that blood has been outlawed for the majority of the Cena era. John with the FU, so Bradshaw walks out, but John follows, and slams him onto his own limousine. Hope they have insurance. FU on the limo, but Bradshaw counters with a swinging neckbreaker onto it - a spot that was just begging to end in paralysis. For all the problems with the product today, guys not almost crippling each other on a regular basis is certainly not one of them. Over to the A/V area for Bradshaw to choke Cena with some cable, but the champ won't quit, and puts Bradshaw through the screen of a TV. That busts Layfield open as well, and Cena follows it up by putting him through the window of the limo. They fight onto the roof of the limo, and Bradshaw tries a vertical suplex, but Cena reverses. Bradshaw tries to bail into the back of the car to escape the beating (I'm not sure I agree with your strategy there, Lou), but Cena pulls him out and throws him into the car door a couple of times. They fight onto the flatbed of an eighteen wheeler next, and Bradshaw executes a DDT over there. Bradshaw finds some more cable, and tries to turn it into a noose, but Cena throws him through a table to stop the effort, and grabs an exhaust pipe off of the truck. He stalks Bradshaw with it, and the terrified challenger quits to avoid the beating at 22:44. Kind of an anticlimactic ending, but it worked in that it fit as a blowoff to Bradshaw's character. Plus, Cena uses the pipe to put him through a window after the bell anyway, so everybody wins! A more fully formed and realized bout than their WrestleMania encounter, that while not really a great match overall, was more satisfying and entertaining then their quickie basic first outing.
** ¼




BUExperience: Like many shows from this era (and in a trend that continues to this day) it tends to be neither particularly bad or particularly good, and succeeds only in being bland.

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