WWE Hell in a Cell (October 2015)

Original Airdate: October 25, 2015

From Los Angeles, California; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, and Jerry Lawler

Opening WWE United States Title Match: John Cena v Alberto Del Rio: Hey, it's Del Rio. Yay? Cena manages a side-headlock out of the initial lockup, and throws a shoulderblock when Del Rio tries an escape. Alberto grabs a headlock of his own, and John-boy bails after taking a kick to the back of the knee. They are taking forever to get going here, so this is either going to be a really long opener, or it's just going to suck. Del Rio armdrags him into an armbar, but misses a straddling ropechoke (taking a decent bump to the floor off of it), but still manages a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two on the way back in. Flying tomahawk chop gets two, and Del Rio grabs a chinlock right when things were finally starting to pick up. The chinlock allows them to do about a dozen replays of the tilt-a-whirl, however. I guess they were much more impressed with that one than, well, literally anyone else. John manages to escape with a vertical suplex, but Del Rio thwarts a trip to the top rope with a dropkick for two, then delivers another flying chop for two. Cena cuts him off with a lariat, and starts throwing jumping shoulderblocks after winning a slugfest. Modified side suplex sets up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but the FU is countered with a double knee backbreaker followed by a superkick for the pin at 7:48. Big face pop from the crowd on that one. The match was fine once it finally got going, but nothing special, and the finish was totally out of nowhere. * ¼

Hell in a Cell Match: Roman Reigns v Bray Wyatt: Having pink ropes kind negates everything this gimmick show is supposed to stand for. Reigns attacks and goes to work in the corner, then tosses Wyatt around with a few head-and-arm suplexes. Bray manages to block a Samoan drop, so Reigns delivers the Drive-By instead. Out to the floor, Roman tosses him into the cell walls, but Wyatt manages to get hold of a kendo stick, and he goes to work. Is it me, or did every Cell match in the last few years somehow involve a kendo stick? Like, when did that become the official weapon of Hell in a Cell? Reigns takes a trip into the cage, as the announcers do their very best to try and convince us that what we're watching is not entirely dull and predictable. Reigns reverses a whip into a chair, then finds a second kendo stick - using both on Bray at once. He finds a table next (prompting a hilarious line from the announce team: 'you can always find a table or two underneath a WWE ring!'), and hits Bray with another Drive-By between setting them up. He tries a vertical suplex off the apron, but gets countered with a uranage through the table for two. Wyatt with a senton splash for two, and he beats Roman's skull against the post for a bit. Running kneesmash leaves Reigns in a heap, as the A/V guys continue to annoy me by doing replays of literally everything, no matter how mundane. Wyatt tries a superplex through a table, but Reigns counters with a powerbomb through it for two - in a spot so predictable that I had that sentence written out before the sequence was even over. 'Whatever happens now, I've already gotten my monies worth!' There's hyperbole, and then there's just plain lying, guys. Wyatt goes for Sister Abigail, but gets countered with a schoolboy for two, and Reigns Superman Punches him for two. They fight out to the apron for Reigns to spear him through another table, and inside that gets two. Superman Punch, but Wyatt counters with Abigail for two. More kendo fun, but Reigns reverses him into some sticks propped in the corner, and spears him for the pin at 23:03. This wasn't terrible, just plain boring. Which would be one thing for a normal match, but quite another for this supposed ultimate gimmick match. * ¾

WWE Tag Team Title Match: The New Day v The Dudley Boyz: Kofi Kingston starts with D-Von Dudley, and gets promptly destroyed. Bubba Dudley tags in and slams him off the top rope for good measure, and New Day bail to the floor to regroup. Back in, Bubba whips Kingston around a bit, and the challengers deliver a sidewalk slam/legdrop combo. Tag to Big E, and he manages to win a power showdown with D-Von, and the champs cut the ring in half on him. Their own version of the Wassup Drop doesn't work out, however, and Bubba gets the hot tag. He's a bingo hall of fire to ignite a four-way brawl, and we get the authentic Wassup Drop. The reference that inspired that move is so dated at this point that a good chunk of the audience weren't even born yet when that commercial was on. Kofi tries to sucker the referee into disqualifying the Boyz for something they didn't do, but he's on to them, and doesn't go for it - so Big E simply uses the trombone as a weapon himself, and the champs retain at 8:24. Apparently the Dudley's were set to win the belts here, before Vince McMahon himself made a last minute call to keep them on the New Day. Paint-by-numbers stuff here. ¾*

WWE Diva's Title Match: Charlotte v Nikki Bella: All the other divas are banned from ringside. They have their work cutout for them if they plan on topping the Night of Champions bout. Lockup battle goes to a stalemate, so Nikki kicks her in the baby maker. Charlotte responds with a neckbreaker, and a ten-punch followed by a rana, but she runs into a forearm from her challenger. Out to the floor, Nikki dives off the rail with a kick, then tosses Charlotte into it. Back in it gets two, and Nikki grabs a modified chinlock. Snap suplex gets two, but a slingshot suplex is countered with a pair of chops, so Bella backslides her for two. Kneeling facebuster gets two, and Nikki tries for the submission with a half-crab, but no dice. Slingshot into the ropes sends Charlotte ricocheting back onto Nikki's knees for two, but a corner whip gets blocked with a Flair flip, and Charlotte kicks her down for two. Nikki manages a spinebuster for two, but loses a slugfest, then misses a springboard kick. Charlotte goes up, so Nikki tries bringing her down with a super electric chair, but Charlotte back flips into a rear mat slam, then hits a spear. Figure Eight, but Bella reverses, and grabs the ropes, then dumps Charlotte to the floor for a brutal whiplash onto the apron. In for the Rack Attack, but Charlotte counters to the Figure Eight, and Nikki taps at 10:38. The Night of Champions match was one of the best main roster Diva matches in ages, and while this one wasn't quite on par on the psychological level, they worked really hard, and it was a very strong effort. ***

WWE World Heavyweight Title Match: Seth Rollins v Kane: If Kane loses, he must retire from his role as Director of Operations. Take out 'from his role as Director of Operations' and those are some stakes I can get behind! Seth declares that he's 'not afraid' with the same conviction as Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone. And, just like in Home Alone, a creepy old man harshes his mellow - in this case, with a DDT. To the floor, Kane bashes his face into the announce table, and easily blocks a tope attempt. Back in, Kane flapjacks him, but gets knocked off the top rope as he tries following up, and Seth hits a somersault tope suicida. Seth with a sleeper-slam for two, and a swinging neckbreaker is worth two. Chinlock, but Kane powers up, so Rollins strikes him with a pair of Stinger splashes, but gets punched while trying a third. Kane with a superplex, followed by a pair of corner clotheslines, and a big boot for two. Seth tries his own superplex, but gets shoved down, and Kane hits a flying clothesline. Chokeslam, but Rollins manages an enzuigiri to block, only for Kane to counter the Pedigree with a chokeslam for two. Tombstone, but Rollins escapes to the floor, so Kane sidewalk slams him onto the announce table instead. Chokeslam on the table, but Seth counters with a powerbomb onto the Spanish version - the table not breaking, and resulting in EMTs needing to come check on Kane. He beats the count in, so Seth tries for the Pedigree, but Kane backdrops him. Rollins strikes with another enzuigiri to keep control, and a pair of flying high knees sets up a pair of superkicks. Flying frogsplash only gets two, but the Pedigree finishes moments later at 14:34. Seth did his best, but there's only so much you can do with a road worn guy pushing fifty, who - if we're being honest - wasn't that great at thirty either. Still, much better than I expected it to be, so good on them. ** ¼

WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Kevin Owens v Ryback: Owens tries to lure him into a chase, but gets sandwiched in the corner, and scoop-backdropped. Hanging vertical suplex and a front-powerslam send Owens bailing for the floor, but Ryback drags him back in. Ten-punch count, but Kevin manages to crotch him on the ropes to escape, and follows with a senton splash for two. Ryback dodges a lariat and manages a spinebuster and a powerbomb for two, before running into a superkick. Owens with a drop-toehold into the ropes followed by a schoolboy for two, but Ryback avoids the Pop-Up Powerbomb with a lariat of his own. Shellshock, but Kevin grabs the ropes to block, and Pop-Up Powerbomb's Ryback to retain at 5:35. I like how the once revered Intercontinental Title is now being used in the crowd cooling role Diva's matches used to be in. Decent power match, though. ** ¼

Main Event: Hell in a Cell Match: The Undertaker v Brock Lesnar: Which milestone is coming first, Undertaker's 25^th year in the WWE, or his hundredth birthday? Because, by the looks of him here, it's a toss up. They slug it out in the early going, and they're playing rough tonight - Brock's back and chest both bright red within the first few minutes. German suplex, but Undertaker manages to drop to the floor to block, and he posts Lesnar to draw blood. Wow, a bladejob in the first five minutes of a match - did we enter a time warp? Back in, Brock manages to hold him off with a spinebuster, and he's wearing a crimson mask as he unloads on 'Taker with a chair. The EMT rushes in to clean Brock up between chair shots, as I'm kind of surprised they're doing close-ups here, and not busting out the old WCW super-wide angles. Based on the reports that Vince was freaking out in the back over the blood, you'd think that would've been a given. Makes me think that perhaps the blade was sanctioned, and the hissy fit only to keep up appearances. And, speaking of blood, Undertaker does a bladejob of his own as they brawl on the outside. And again, no wide angles, or stoppage. Undertaker manages to reverse a vertical suplex on the floor to take control, and he blasts Brock with the chair on the way back in. Cross corner whip works, but Lesnar rockets back out of the corner with a release German suplex. Another pair of Germans and the F5 get two, as the EMT finally shows up, but Brock doesn't appreciate the reprieve, and takes him out. Yeah, this is totally worked, if you ask me. Another F5 only gets two, so Brock decides to bring the steps into things for two. Another shot with the steps gets them kicked back into Brock's face, however, and Undertaker grabs Hell's Gate. Lesnar's response? Punch his way free, then punch some more for good measure. Well, whatever works. Brock gets extra pissed, and decides to tear up the ring - ripping the canvas and pads off to expose the boards underneath in a fit of rage. That's certainly a unique strategy! Unfortunately, Undertaker fights him off, and chokeslams him onto the exposed wood. Tombstone onto the exposed wood gets two, but another Tombstone gets blocked with a shot to the cock. F5 onto the exposed wood, and we're out at 18:10. Even without the blood, this was a much better brawl than the earlier Cell match, and much more worthy of the gimmick. And the blood totally played, especially since it hasn't been a thing in the WWE in so long that it gave the match a unique, special feeling. Which, along with the destruction of the ring bit, did a great job of making this match standout from the soul crushing monotony of everything else the WWE has presented for what feels like forever. *** ½

BUExperience: The main event felt like a breath of fresh air in the gas chamber that has been the WWE this year, and while the rest of the card was perfectly solid for the most part, no one is going to remember anything aside from the main event even a month from now.

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