WWF WrestleMania III (Version II)

Original Airdate: March 29, 1987

From Pontiac, Michigan; Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura

Opening Match: The Can-Am Connection v Bob Orton and Don Muraco: Rick Martel starts with Muraco, and uses his speed to evade the muscle man. Tag to Tom Zenk for a tandem monkeyflip, and they give an incoming Orton a tandem hiptoss as well. Zenk shoulderblocks and bodyslams Bob, and a hiptoss leaves him in an armbar. They trade full-nelsons, as we get a look at this tremendous crowd - still easily the most visually impressive in wrestling history. It's not just the size, it's the staging (the small, understated entrance area, which accentuates the venue size), the lighting (compare this to the gloomy look of Starrcade '86, for example), the angles (everything is shot from low and back to give the crowd presence in the frame) - it's all working wonderfully. A cheap shot puts Tom down, and the heels begin cutting the ring in half, but he manages to get the tag to Martel in short order, and we've got a brawl - the Connection able to outfox them, and get the fall with a bodypress at 5:37. Short and energetic - good way to start things off here. * (Original rating: *)

Hercules v Billy Jack Haynes: Hercules takes a cheap shot during the initial lockup to take control early, and he hammers Haynes in the corner, but misses a charge, and gets press-slammed. Billy looks for the Full Nelson (both guys using that hold as their finisher), but Hercules is in the ropes before he can apply it. Cross corner whip, but Hercules rebounds out of the corner with a lariat, then delivers a backdrop before giving Haynes a cross corner whip of his own - plus an extra one to grow on. Vertical suplex gets two when Hercules breaks his own count, but that backfires when Billy Jack starts slugging at him. Unfortunately for Haynes, his back is battered, and he can't capitalize with a suplex - Hercules delivering a backbreaker instead. Hercules with his own press-slam, and he's done softening him up - it's time for the Full Nelson. He slaps it on, but can't quite get the fingers locked, and Haynes escapes. Hercules stays on him, but a criss cross ends in a double-knockout spot! Slugfest ends in Haynes hitting an inverted atomic drop, followed by a couple of clotheslines, and a legdrop. 2^nd rope fistdrop is enough to soften Hercules up for the Full Nelson, and Billy applies it - also unable to lock the hands, however. They go tumbling out to the floor in it, and the referee counts both guys out at 7:52 - despite the vocal objections of some dude in the front row. Solid match, though the indecisive ending hurt it. But then, back in 1987, the business was geared towards selling house shows, so I get what they were going for here. But still, if you're not going to blow it off on fucking WrestleMania III, what ARE you waiting for? * ¼ (Original rating: *)

Mixed Tag Team Match: King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo, and Lord Littlebrook v Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid, and Little Beaver: I've seen this match no less than a dozen times over the years, and I really don't feel like doing play-by-play for the comedy midget stuff that precedes the big angle again, so suffice it to say that there are midgets, and they wrestle. Eventually, Bundy tags in and decides to have his way with Little Beaver, but Hillbilly Jim steps in with a clothesline and an elbowdrop for two. Bundy returns fire with a backelbow and the Avalanche, but he ends up getting into it with Beaver again, and this time bodyslams him - getting his disqualified, and causing his own team of midgets to turn on him at 3:25. I don't know how much they got paid for this, but that's gotta be the easiest money Bundy and Jim made in their lives here. DUD (Original rating: DUD)

Loser Must Bow Match: Harley Race v Junkyard Dog: Dog decks him at the bell, so Bobby Heenan immediately interferes, and Race clobbers him. JYD is in no mood, however, and he no-sells everything, so Race dumps him to the floor for a flying headbutt off the apron - only for Dog to roll out of the way. Nice bump there! Back in, Dog with an earringer to send Harley over the top, and a bodyslam brings him back in again. Dog with an abdominal stretch, but Harley hiptosses out, and delivers a falling headbutt - only for it to backfire, since Dog has a harder head. Cross corner whip sends Race bumping to the floor again, and Dog is on him with a series of headbutts on the way back in. Cue another distraction from Heenan, and Harley belly-to-belly suplexes the Dog for the pin at 3:23. Another quickie, but damned if Race wasn't earning his money out there, bumping like a madman from bell to bell. * (Original rating: ½*)

The Dream Team v The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers: Brutus Beefcake starts with Raymond Rougeau, and grabs a standing hammerlock, but Raymond counters into an atomic drop, and tags Jacques Rougeau for a tandem dropkick. Brutus tags to Greg Valentine, but he loses a slugfest to Jacques. Who is he, Dynamite Kid? Raymond throws a bodypress for two, but Jacques wipes out while trying a 2^nd rope version, and the Hammer drops a pair of elbows. He adds a bodyslam before tagging Beefcake, and the Dream Team cut the ring in half on Jacques. Greg looks to finish with the Figure Four, but Jacques gets the ropes. Valentine tries a piledriver instead, but Jacques manages a backdrop, and he tags. Raymond is a maison of fire, and slaps a sleeper on the Hammer, so Brutus tries a flying axehandle to break, but ends up hitting his own partner! That allows the Brothers to hit La Bombe de Rougeau, so Dino Bravo comes in to show Beefcake how an interference is done - allowing Valentine to score the pin at 4:03. And, despite the win, they're still pissed about Beefcake's fuckup, and decide to leave without him. Oooh, nothing says 'breakup' like denying a guy a chance to ride on the awesome ring carts! That's cruel and unusual, guys! Solid match, though not on par with their bout at the Big Event - which was ten minutes longer, and had much more time to develop. * ¼ (Original rating: * ¼)

Hair v Hair Match: Roddy Piper v Adrian Adonis: This is billed as Piper's retirement match - win, lose, or draw. Roddy attacks him with a belt to start, as the crowd goes fucking ballistic. A bit of interference from Jimmy Hart allows Adrian to use the belt himself, but he gets reversed going into the corner, and Piper rams his head together with Hart's before tossing them both out of the ring. For his next trick, he launches Jimmy off the top rope at Adonis, but gets tripped up as he tries to abuse the poor manager another time, and Adrian goes to work in the corner. Out to the floor, Piper takes a trip into the timekeeper's table, and Jimmy Hart gets his licks in as well. Back in, Piper is on spaghetti legs, but don't quit fighting. Hart helps him by spraying some perfume in his eyes to allow Adonis the Good Night Irene sleeper, but he releases prematurely, and Roddy slaps on his own Sleeper for the win at 6:13. The match was shit, but it totally worked as an angle and blow off. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

Six-Man Tag Team Match: Danny Davis and The Hart Foundation v Tito Santana and The British Bulldogs: Bret Hart starts with Santana, and Tito destroys him. Tag to Davey Boy Smith, but Bret scurries away before the Bulldog can grab him, and passes to Jim Neidhart. The Foundation immediately try a double-team, but Davey is wise to them, and Dynamite Kid helps him deliver a tandem headbutt. Smith backdrops the Anvil, and tags are made to Bret and Kid. Kid hairpull slams him, then corner whips him to setup a clothesline and a falling headbutt for two. Bret unloads on him in the corner following a cheap shot from Neidhart to block a snap suplex, and Jim slaps a reverse chinlock on Kid. Backbreaker/2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop combo follows, and that's enough to allow Davis to feel confident enough to tag - delivering a few stomps before strolling back out to the safety of the apron. The Foundation continue cutting the ring in half on Dynamite, but Davis gets too cocky, and a slingshot splash hits the knees. Tag to Tito, and he's a casa of fire - hitting Davis with the diving forearm. Anvil saves him from the Figure Four, but Tito is able to tag Davey Boy, and Davis eats a clothesline, followed by a brutal tombstone piledriver from Kid. Smith adds a vertical suplex, and the Running Powerslam looks to finish, but Anvil saves again. That's enough to trigger a brawl, and Davis manages to pin Davey Boy in the chaos at 8:50. Too short to really go anywhere, though a proper Harts/Bulldogs match at WrestleMania would have been fucking amazing. It still worked in that Davis took a tremendous beating from the babyfaces though - which was sort of the whole point anyway. ** (Original rating: * ½)

Koko B. Ware v Butch Reed: Jesse doesn't like Koko's white glove because, in his words, 'Michael Jackson wears a white glove, but Buckwheat don't.' I'd love to see Jesse make a comeback in the PG-era, if only to read what would be undoubtedly hilarious reports of Vince losing his mind backstage during every show. Ware peppers him with dropkicks early on, but runs into shot, and gets worked over. Cross corner whip by Reed is reversed, however, and Ware hiptosses him over, then throws another dropkick for two. Inside cradle for two, but Butch rolls through a bodypress for the pin at 3:38. Dull stuff. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Randy Savage v Ricky Steamboat: Yeah, so, this is kind of a big one. Reversal sequence ends early when Macho dives to the floor to make sure Elizabeth is situated far enough away from George Steele, and back in, the Dragon controls a criss cross with a pair of swift armdrags, and a chokeslam to send Randy back to the floor. This time Steamboat chases, allowing Savage to sucker him on the way back in, and he chokes the challenger on the ropes for two. Overhead elbowsmash leaves Ricky in the corner, but a charge misses, and Steamboat capitalizes on the shoulder with an armbar. He snaps Savage's shoulder across the top rope, but runs into a backelbow from the champion, and Randy tosses him out over the top. He tries for the countout, but Steamboat is stirring, so Randy hammers him on the apron before snapmaring him back in for another overhead elbowsmash that gets two. Kneedrop gets two, but Steamboat reverses a turnbuckle smash, and unloads in the corner. An extended criss cross results in Steamboat hitting a bodypress for two, followed by a pair of shoulderblocks for two, before running into a high knee from the champion. Strong sequence there. Randy tries dumping him, but the Dragon skins-the-cat back in, so Savage sends him right back over with a clothesline, then follows with a high knee that knocks the Dragon into the crowd! Steele helps him back in to beat the count, but an enraged Macho Man tosses Ricky right back over the top, and this time drops a flying axehandle on him to make sure he gets the message. He waits for the count, but then starts second guessing himself since he doesn't want to give Steamboat the opportunity to recover, and rolls his challenger back in for another flying axehandle. Running overhead elbowsmash gets him two, and he snaps Steamboat's throat across the top rope for two. Atomic drop is worth two, and a vertical suplex gets two. Frustrated, Savage wins a slugfest with an eyerake, then gutwrench suplexes Steamboat for two. Even after all that, Ricky is still fighting, and he manages to block a side suplex, and backdrop Savage to the floor. Can't win the title out there, so he rolls Randy back in for a flying tomahawk chop - getting so much hang time that he literally flies over the referee's head! It still only gets two, however. Steamboat stays right on him with a knife-edge chop for two, and a series of falling chops send Savage running for the safety of the floor. The Dragon is right on him, but this time avoids getting suckered on the way back in with a slingshot sunset flip for two. Schoolboy gets two, as an increasingly desperate Savage looks for an escape. Somersault cradle for two and an inside cradle gets two. Bodyslam sets up a slingshot into the corner, into a sunset cradle for two. Macho desperately swings at the referee to try and save things by way of disqualification, but Steamboat rolls him up for two before he can connect - Savage hooking the tights to reverse for two! This is some insane cardio! Randy keeps hold of the tights to ram Ricky into the corner to finally turn the tide, but takes out the referee while executing a hangman's clothesline, and there's no one to count the fall when he follows up with the Flying Elbowdrop! With the referee still down, Randy decides to put a cherry on top by grabbing the ring bell, but Steele objects, and shoves him down off the top rope with it. Randy tries to keep control with a bodyslam, but he's dazed, and Steamboat is able to counter with a small package for the title at 14:35. An absolutely brilliant, show stealing match from start to finish (one that still holds up all these years later), that worked on all levels - from the angle, to the payoff, to the crowd, to the workrate. Truly the first WrestleMania classic. ***** (Original rating: **** ½)

Jake Roberts v The Honky Tonk Man: Jake has Alice Cooper in his corner for this. Makes sense, since Jake was probably the only guy on the roster who could keep up with Alice. Jake attacks him during the entrances, and hammers him both inside and outside of the ring. He give Honky a bodyslam on the floor before bringing it back in for a cross corner whip, but a charge hits knee, and Honky delivers a falling axehandle. Slugfest goes Roberts' way with a short-clothesline, but Honky manages to avoid the DDT, and bail back to the floor to break the momentum. Jake is on him, but gets reversed into the post out there, and Cooper helps him beat the count. Well, sure, winner's end of the purse money buys much better party favors for after. Honky with a bodyslam to setup a 2^nd rope fistdrop, and he adds a backelbow. Shake, Rattle, and Roll (what a fucking stupid name for a finisher, right out of the PG-era), but Jake blocks, so Honky tries a ten-punch instead, but Roberts counters with an inverted atomic drop. Jake unloads with a series of jabs and a backdrop, but Jimmy Hart saves Honky from the DDT, and the distraction allows Honky to schoolboy Roberts at 7:04. Competent, but on the dull side. ½* (Original rating: ¼*)

The Killer Bees v Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff: Jim Duggan shows up to object to Volkoff's singing of the Russian national anthem on the basis that America 'is the land of the free.' I'm not sure I agree a hundred percent with your police work there, Lou. The heels attack before the bell, but get reversed into the corners, and the Bees clean house. Things start off proper with B. Brian Blair and Sheik, and Blair gives him an earringer. Over to Jim Brunzell for a tandem backelbow, then back to Blair for a 2^nd rope elbowsmash. The Bees keep trading off on Sheik with quick tags and double-teams, but Volkoff breaks up a pin attempt, and the heels cut the ring in half on Brunzell. Sheik with a gutwrench suplex for two, followed by a vertical suplex for two, but Jim throws a high knee during a criss cross. Referee misses the tag, however, allowing Sheik to go for the Camel Clutch on Brunzell, but Jim Duggan takes offense, and breaks it up with his 2x4 - giving Sheik and Volkoff the victory by way of disqualification at 5:43. Let's get to the main event. ¾* (Original rating: ½*)

Main Event: WWF Title Match: Hulk Hogan v Andre the Giant: Bob Uecker acts as the guest ring announcer for this, and Mary Hart plays the guest time keeper. Jesse doing the tale of the tape before the match is still one of my all time favorite touches, that lends so much credibility to the action. Big stare down to start, and Andre shoves him with disdain, so Hogan tries for a bodyslam, and gets toppled for two. Well, that was just poor strategy on the part of the Hulkster there. Andre goes to work on the back with forearm smashes (though, in Andre's case, they probably feel like sixarms), and a bodyslam leaves Hogan crawling around the ring. Andre literally picks him up by the seat of his pants for a few corner whips, and he chokes away, but Hulk manages to slip free long enough to unload with a barrage of rights. Running forearm smash knocks the Giant into the corner for some chops, followed by a series of turnbuckle smashes - but he still won't go down. Hulk tries another running forearm smash, but this time runs right into a boot, and Andre hugs him like a bear. Hulk fades, but manages to slug free, and he unloads a series of shoulderblocks - still unable to put the Giant down. Andre swats him away with a big chop, and (what looks like it was supposed to be) a big boot (but was actually more of a kick to the knee) puts Hogan on the floor. Andre follows, but misses a headbutt into the post, and the champion stupidly pulls up the mats to try a piledriver out there, but gets backdropped. Well, that was certainly an interesting strategy. Back in, Andre tries the theoretical big boot again, but Hogan counters with a running forearm smash - this time able to put the Giant down! Bodyslam (in one of the most famous images in history) blows the roof off the place, and Hulk is quick to follow-up with the Legdrop at 12:07. It may not have been a classic like Savage/Steamboat was earlier, but the booking was really smart in hiding Andre's limitations and in building drama (from Hogan's back, to Andre never leaving his feet until the very end), and the timing was excellent - Hogan working his hope spots at just the right moments. Not to mention, it's still one of the biggest and most important angles in wrestling history, on top of one of the biggest and most important SHOWS in wrestling history. * (Original rating: ¼*)

BUExperience: I’ve seen it a dozen times, and I’ll likely see it a dozen more. Even today, the spectacle remains unmatched, and it holds up as one of the most well produced, most entertaining super cards not only of that time, but of all time. And, at only three hours, it’s much more briskly paced than some of the early WrestleMania cards that would follow it (the next four, though especially the next two), not to mention he competitions Starrcade '86, which itself ran four hours that year

*****