WWF Monday Night RAW (March 1, 1993)

Original Airdate: March 1, 1993

From New York, New York; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, and Randy Savage. Bartlett is dressed as Elvis (the fat years), and does the whole telecast in character.

Opening WWF Title Match: Bret Hart v Fatu: Hart is cautious tying up, and tries a standing side-headlock, but gets whipped into the ropes, and slammed. He manages to catch Fatu with an armdrag into an armbar as he tries to follow-up, and holds onto it through another bodyslam attempt. Facebuster, but Fatu's Samoan, and pops up with a savate kick for two. Come on, Bret! You should know better. Short-clothesline for two, and Fatu slaps on a nervehold. Criss cross ends in Hart hitting a bodypress for two, but the kickout leaves him on the floor, where Samu slams him. He adds a falling headbutt and a shot into the steps for good measure, and Fatu drags him back in for a headbutt of his own. Cross corner whip and a backbreaker get two, and a pair of falling headbutts is worth two. Piledriver for two, and another cross corner whip gets two. Sidewalk slam and a 2^nd rope headbutt for two, so Fatu goes to the top for a flying splash, but Hart crotches him on the top turnbuckle, and superplexes him down for two. Bret with a bulldog for two, and a backbreaker sets up the 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop for two. Sharpshooter, but Afa pops up onto the apron to distract the referee, and Samu breaks it up with a lariat. He switches places with Fatu and covers Hart for two, then switches back to let the legal man finish. Fatu goes for the kill, but a heel miscommunication leaves Samu tied in the ropes, and Bret finishes Fatu with the Sharpshooter at 15:06. Better than I expected. Bret guided him through a nice match for Fatu (and sold well for him), and it was given enough time to properly develop. **

WrestleMania IX Report! Gene Okerlund runs down the announced lineup, including the newest bout added: Money Inc defending the tag team titles against the Mega Maniacs. Incredible moment when Okerlund kicks it back to the announcers with a Joey Buttafucco reference, and Randy Savage spouts off that had Amy Fisher met him first, thing would have been better because he's the 'Macho Man!' And Vince is sitting right next to him, laughing it up. Holy shit!

Cute RAW Girl Sign of the Week: Open Wide and Say RAW!

Crush joins us via satellite from the beaches of Hawaii, where he crushes a coconut with his bare hands as a preview of what will happen to Doink at WrestleMania

Doink v Koko B. Ware: Speak of the devil. Doink attacks him during the entrances, and takes him down - targeting the knee. He goes right to an STF, but can't get a submission, so he tries a leglock. Koko struggles to escape, but takes a swinging neckbreaker, and the Stump Puller finishes at 1:47. Afterwards, Rob Bartlett tries to interview Doink (as Elvis), but gets a pie to the face for his efforts. Risky booking there, as the crowd almost mistook it for a face turn. Boring match, but again, I really like early Doink's evil, methodical style. ¼*

Vince McMahon brings WWF Tag Team Champions Money Inc out for an in-ring interview, so that they can announce that they're defending the titles against Hogan and Beefcake at WrestleMania. Nothing we didn't know already (Okerlund announced it earlier on the show), but DiBiase does have a great line in here about feeling sorry for his 'friend,' the former CEO of American Express, as he golden parachute was only for a few million dollars, and this is a guy who 'knows how to live the high life.'

WrestleMania IX Promo! Free parking at Caesars Palace!

Lex Luger v PJ Walker: Walker looks like such a fucking wannabe loser. What did Paul Heyman see in this guy, anyway? Luger casually whips him around to start, and hits a backbreaker followed by a hanging vertical suplex. Kneelift, and he hangs Walker in a tree of woe before stopping to pose for the nice people. Running Forearm Smash finishes, and it's arrogant cover time at 3:15. I love the Narcissist gimmick, but dear Lord did Luger plod a lot in these squashes. DUD

The Steiner Brothers v Duane Gill and Barry Hardy: Vince calls Rick 'Rob,' which is likely something he'd fire someone over today. Scott Steiner starts with Hardy, and wrestles him down to the mat. Scott dominates through a criss cross, and hits an overhead suplex before tagging brother Rick. Hardy tries dodging a powerslam, but gets clotheslined out for his troubles, and Scott rolls him right back in for Rick to viciously drop in the corner. He forces a tag to Gill just for shits and giggles, and backdrops him before hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Tag back to Scott, and he destroys him with a pump-handle slam, and a dropkick. Rick in with a camel clutch, but he gets bored, and let's Scott back in for a double-underhook powerbomb. Frankensteiner finishes at 4:06. Just a complete and total squash. Brutal. ¼*

BUExperience: What? Where’s the exciting conclusion to that wild Undertaker/Skinner match from last week? Fuckers! Fuckers! Nothing groundbreaking here, but Hart/Fatu is good, and all the squashes and segments were good uses to time to build guys up or develop angles. Can’t ask for more than that.