WWE Bad Blood (June 2004)

From Columbus, Ohio; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

Opening World Tag Team Title Match: La Resistance v Chris Benoit and Edge: Sylvain Grenier starts with Edge, and gets tossed around by both challengers. Random note: everything about the set for this show - from the lighting, to the 'starry night' background on the entrance set, down to the way the ring ropes look - evokes 2000 WCW. That's can't be a good sign. Grenier manages to tag Rob Conway, but he quickly gets caught with a side suplex from Benoit. Cheap shot allows him to turn the tide against Edge, however, and Grenier chokes him on the ropes as they begin to cut the ring in half. Edge manages a spinheel kick on Conway and a cool double-neckbreaker on both champions, but Benoit is down on the floor, so no tag. Edge fights them off again with an enzuigiri to get the tag, and Chris kills both guys with some sharp suplexes. Sharpshooter looks to finish Conway, but Grenier saves, and we have a four-way brawl. Benoit looks to finish Grenier with the Crippler Crossface, but Kane (Benoit's challenger for the world title later) runs in to break it up - causing a DQ at 10:14. Afterwards, Kane lays Benoit out to build drama for the title match later. I didn't get into it because I just could buy La Resistance as having a chance (even as the defending champions), but the match was fine traditional formula stuff. * ½

Chris Jericho v Tyson Tomko: Tomko hammers him in the corner to start, so Jericho tries chopping, and follows with a 2^nd rope dropkick. Springboard dropkick puts Tyson on the floor, and Chris follows to ram him into the post. Back in, Trish Stratus distracts Jericho to allow Tomko a press-stomachbreaker, and he adds a bodyslam. Scrapbuster gets two, and he slaps on a bearhug. Fistdrop misses, however, allowing Jericho a bulldog to setup the Lionsault - only for Tyson to move. Tomko capitalize with a crucifix shoulderbreaker, but Jericho blocks a press-slam, and goes for the Walls. That draws Trish up onto the apron, and Tomko escapes, but ends up colliding with her, and Jericho hits an enzuigiri for the pin at 6:06. This was fine. *

WWE Intercontinental Title Match Randy Orton v Shelton Benjamin: Benjamin sneaks up behind him before the bell with a quick schoolboy for two, and a dropkick puts Orton on the floor. Randy decides to take the belt and bail, but Shelton is on him with a baseball slide, and forces him back in. Bodypress gets the challenger two, and a clothesline gets two, so Randy bails again. Benjamin is on him with a backdrop into the first row, and inside, that gets two. Oklahoma roll gets two, and an inside cradle for two. Sunset flip, but Randy is in the ropes, so Shelton clotheslines him over the top of them, then vertical suplexes him back in for two. Stinger splash misses, however, getting Orton a two count, as Ric Flair joins us at ringside. Well, there's no better guy to consult about how to capitalize on a missed Stinger splash, I guess. Orton grounds his challenger with a modified chinlock, but Shelton uses an electric chair to escape, and gets two off of it. Orton retains control with a gutwrench elevated neckbreaker for two, and goes back to the chinlock. Shelton starts to escape, so Randy cuts him off with a bodyslam, but wipes out during a flying bodypress attempt, and Benjamin northern lights suplexes him for two. Slugfest goes Shelton's way, and he hits a backdrop to setup a flying clothesline for two. Russian legsweep gets two, and a reversal sequence ends in Benjamin hitting a spinheel kick for two. Stinger splash sets up a head-and-arm suplex for two - Flair putting Orton's foot on the ropes to save. Benjamin makes the mistake of going after him rather than finishing, however, and Orton recovers enough to roll through a flying bodypress and retain at 15:05. Solid match, with nothing technically 'wrong' with it, but it just felt like it was missing a certain something. * ¾  

WWE Women's Title Fatal Four-Way Match: Victoria v Trish Stratus v Lita v Gail Kim: All three gang up to run Trish out of the ring, so Tyson Tomko scares them back. Meanwhile, Victoria hits a standing moonsault on Gail for two, and Trish rushes back in to Chick Kick everyone. Lita responds by cradling her, but Tomko breaks it up, and gets ejected by the referee. So, for those keeping track, he couldn't beat Jericho earlier in his pay per view debut, and now he can't even help Trish against a bunch of girl. Wow, no wonder he never set the world on fire. Gail gets Victoria in the Flying Dragon, but Trish saves, so Gail slaps a dragon sleeper on her - saved by Victoria. Lita snap suplexes the champ, but they collide in a messy corner spot, and everyone is down. Lita kills poor Gail with a DDT, but Trish sneaks up and schoolgirls her as she goes for the cover - winning the title at 4:44. About as good as a four-minute four-way match could be, I guess. ¾*

Jonathan Coachman v Eugene: Eugene wants a handshake at the bell, but Coach's attempt to cheat is crushed by Eugene's retard strength. Yes, part of his gimmick is that he's mentally challenged, and doesn't know his own strength. Eugene ties himself up in a pretzel to confuse Coach/try to suck his own dick, and suckers Coach into a headlock. Criss cross, but Eugene gets distracted by a girl in the front row, and leaves Coach criss crossing by himself while he goes to pet her bunny. That's not a euphemism, it's a literal stuffed animal. That allows Coach to sneak up, but Eugene still slaps on a bodyscissors, then does his best Junk Yard Dog impression with some headbutts. Coach bails, and summons a woman in a bikini from the back, armed with a plate of cookies. She suckers Eugene over to get some milk and cookies, but Coach's sneak attack fails again, because Eugene is apparently part Samoan, and turnbuckle smashes do nothing. Eugene with an inverted atomic drop, standard atomic drop, and a dropkick. Airplane spin, but now Garrison Cade comes out and tears up the stuffed animal. That's still not enough for Coach to take control, however, and Eugene hits a uranage, then finishes with a People's Elbow at 7:39. Look, this wasn't a classic wrestling match, but it was fine for a comedy match, and the crowd ate it up. Eugene was never going to be world champion, but damned if Nick Dinsmore didn't get into the character, and do a brilliant job with the role. ½*

World Heavyweight Title Match: Chris Benoit v Kane: Chris goes right after him with chops, but gets hiptossed as he tries going after his challenger's arm. Kane shoulderblocks him out of the ring, and takes his head off with a backelbow on the way back in, but Benoit ducks a big boot, and hits an enzuigiri. Sharpshooter, but Kane blocks, so Chris rebounds with the Crossface, but Kane manages to block that as well, and hits a snake-eyes. Stungun and a neckbreaker follow for two, and Kane grounds him with a headvise. Sidewalk slam gets two, but Chris tries countering a side suplex into the sharpshooter, and ends up getting tossed out of the ring. Chris manages to reverse him into the post out there, and unloads a pair of dropkicks to the knee on the way back in. He clips Kane's knee to setup the sharpshooter, but gets blocked again. Kane misses a big boot in the corner, and now Chris is able to apply the sharpshooter, but Kane gets the ropes. Good sequence, though - I love it when guys fight for holds like that. Three-alarm rolling German suplex sets up the flying headbutt, but Kane is on his feet before Chris can execute it, so he grabs him for another three alarms of German suplex fun. Back to the flying headbutt, and Kane is down long enough for Benoit to leap, but the challenger rolls out of the way. Again, love the fighting over spots like that to spice up the familiar sequences. Chris still manages to get to his feet first, and goes for the Crossface, but Kane counters into a chokeslam for two. Tombstone looks to finish, but Chris escapes, so Kane big boots him instead. Flying clothesline, but Chris catches him in the Crossface on the way down! Kane powers up, so Chris tries fighting him back down, then abruptly lets off, and hooks an Oklahoma roll to retain at 18:14. Eighteen minutes is a long time for a Kane match, resulting in a lot of punch-kick stuff between spots during the early going. Once it got going, it was great though, wisely building drama around the smaller Benoit having to fight to use his signature stuff on the bigger challenger, and having to work to outsmart him. **

Main Event: Hell in a Cell Match: Triple H v Shawn Michaels: There's, like, an hour left in the show, which can't be a good sign. Long slugfest goes HHH's way with a backelbow, but Shawn spears him down for some mounted punches before Hunter can follow-up. Shawn manages a swinging neckbreaker for two, and a pair of fistdrops follow, but a cross corner charge hits boot, and HHH tosses him over the top. Shawn reverses him into the cell out there to draw blood, then back in works the cut with a ten-punch count. Suplex, but Shawn's back acts up, and HHH manages to block, and cross corner whip him. HHH stays on the back with a backbreaker, and a hanging vertical suplex, then grabs a chair, but Shawn swats it away from him. Out to the floor again, HHH rams his back into the cell a bunch of times, as Shawn shows off his growing bald spot. Back in, HHH finally uses the chair by sidewalk slamming Michaels onto it for two. This match is dragging so much at this point, and we're not even half way through it yet. Another sidewalk slam onto the chair gets a series of two counts, and he tries an abdominal stretch next, but Shawn counters with a hiptoss out of the ring. Back in, HHH goes for the Pedigree out of nowhere, but Shawn blows him low to block, then follows up on it with a pair of inverted atomic drops. DICK PSYCHOLOGY!! High knee puts Hunter on the floor again, and Shawn whips him into the steps out there. Seriously, this match needs a go-home call in the worst way, but they've booked themselves into a corner, and have to fill the show out regardless. They should have put the title match on last, in case they needed to call an audible. Piledriver onto the steps is countered with a backdrop, and HHH grabs the steps, but Shawn kicks them away from him, and hits a diving forearm. Superkick, but HHH ducks, and whacks him with the steps anyway to draw blood. Remember in the last match, how Benoit and Kane fought over spots, and it was awesome? This is them trying to do that, but it's coming off as just prolonging the inevitable instead of what they're going for - and the title match achieved. Another shot with the steps gets two, and a spinebuster is worth two - as we finally reach the halfway mark of this borefest. Sleeper, but Shawn escapes, so Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but Shawn counters into a DDT. All these failed Pedigree attempts should give away the ending right there. When we eventually get to it, that is. It's still a long ways off. Shawn uses the chair to draw a second bladejob from Hunter (including a goofy, fourth-wall breaking facial expression), and gets two. Shawn finds a ladder and abuses his road wife with it for a bit, as the crowd gets restless. How dare they not enjoy watching this match that Shawn and Triple H are having for their own amusement! Don't they know how lucky they are?!? These guys don't just masturbate for anyone! Hunter goes for the Pedigree again, but again gets countered - this time with a slingshot into the ladder for two. Bodyslam sets up the flying elbowdrop, but HHH gets out of the way, and covers for two. Slugfest on the knees ends in Shawn covering for two, and he puts HHH on a table for a flying elbowdrop off of the ladder. It didn't really look good though, because the cell ceiling forced Shawn to kind of just fall off the ladder, without any real jump or showmanship. It still gets two. Superkick, but Hunter blows him low to allow a counter into the Pedigree for a dramatic two. The end must finally be in sight. Superkick hits for two, in a near fall no one bought, simply because it took Shawn so damn long to cover that you knew HHH wouldn't allow himself to be pinned. Who is he, Booker T? And speaking of Booker T, HHH hits the Pedigree twice more, then takes a six month leave before covering, but still gets the pin anyway at 47:25. 'My God, it is mercifully over!' declares JR. Both of these guys have had legendary Cell matches with other opponents, but as usual, putting them together results in an overlong, self serving, downright masturbatory match that isn't BAD, per se, but certainly dull. Not to mention, it has zero rewatch value, because it's a twenty minute match stretched out to twice that length, and comes off feeling forced in every respect, as opposed to leaving you wanting more. But hey, hell is supposed to be an eternity, right? They captured that well, I guess. *

BUExperience: I’m not in to watching men masturbate, so this one isn’t for me. Your preferences may vary, however.

DUD