WWE SummerSlam (August 2019)

 

Original Airdate: August 11, 2019

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Renee Young (RAW), Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton (Smackdown), with Corey Graves sitting in with both teams

Opening WWE RAW Women's Title Submission Match: Becky Lynch v Natalya: Natalya gets in the champ's face at the bell, and gets destroyed in the corner as a result. Natalya returns fire and hits a discus clothesline, but Becky dodges a charge in the corner, and the suplexes her challenger across the ring. Snap suplex sets up a cross-armbreaker, but Natalya starts to turn it into a cradle, so Becky shifts to a triangle choke. She sinks her teeth into that one, but Natalya starts to power to a vertical base, so Becky latches onto the leg instead. They end up spilling to the outside with it, where Natalya manages to send her into the barricade, and then swings her into it a second time. Inside, Natalya starts going after the leg, and we get a cool Sharpshooter on the middle turnbuckle spot. Don't think I've ever seen that one before! The referee actually checks for the submission there, despite obviously being a rope break situation. Like, how much more obvious could it get - Becky is literally half outside of the ring! They spill to the outside again after the eventual break, where Becky manages to reverse Natalya into an announce table, and she sends the challenger into the steps for good measure. Becky's selling the shit out of that leg, nice. She goes to the top on the way back in, but the leg is slowing her down, and Natalya is able to vertical superplex her down before she can dive. Natalya tries a seated dropkick, but Becky counters it into her own Sharpshooter, and the crowd is ready to see a submission. Natalya manages to send the champ into the turnbuckles to force a break, and she returns the favor by putting Lynch in her own version of the Dis-Arm-Her. Becky finds a counter to a Sharpshooter, but Natalya reverses, and Lynch is crawling for the ropes. With this idiot referee, don't bother, honey. She makes it anyway, and pulls her weight over the apron to force Natalya to break, but Natalya just drags her right back to center ring after doing so. Sharpshooter, but Becky counters to the Dis-Arm-Her, and Natalya taps after a valiant effort at 12:24. This ended up being a lot better than I expected it to be, with both women working hard, and doing a good job of getting the match where it needed to be, while also not needing a really long time to get it there. ***

Dolph Ziggler v Goldberg: Dolph tries for the quick stun pin with a superkick right away, but it only gets two. Another superkick also gets two, but Goldberg is ready for the third with a spear - sold with zeal by Ziggler. Crowd is on their feet and loving this right now. Jackhammer finishes at a brisk 1:28. Well, that was effective. Clearly this Goldberg kid is in line for a big push. I could even see him being the future of the company. Afterwards, Ziggler throws a tantrum about losing, so Goldberg comes back, and just silently spears him again to put a stop to that bullshit. Goldberg's spears look so fucking badass and dangerous compared to anyone else’s. Like, it's going to be hard to buy Roman Reigns' version anymore after watching Goldberg just flatten dudes with his. So, with Goldberg gone again, Dolph decides to throw another tantrum - cutting a promo from flat on his back because he's still selling the damn spear. Unfortunately for him, Goldberg can still here him from the back, and he comes back to kill poor Ziggler with a third spear just to be a dick. Man, if this were the 80s, I'd be sure Dolph was on his way out of the territory after that. Just a complete, decisive, total squash. ½*

WWE United States Title Match: AJ Styles v Ricochet: Styles tries charging, but Ricochet is ready with chops, and uses a pair of cross corner whips. AJ hides in the ropes to avoid a charge, so Ricochet knocks him to the outside again, and then springboards off of AJ's goons with a headscissors on the floor. Back in, Ricochet tries another charge in the corner, but AJ gets the better of him by clipping the leg this time, and that turns the tide. Styles works the part, so Ricochet tries a leg-feed enzuigiri, but AJ ducks. Ricochet rebounds by turning it into a leg-feed corkscrew kick instead, and he manages a headscissors takedown. The knee is slowing him down, but Ricochet still manages a springboard flying clothesline for two. Fireman's carry, but the knee acts up, and he's forced to use a neckbreaker for two instead. Standing shooting star press gets two, and a sunset flip gets two, before AJ finally swipes at the knee again to put a stop to it. He dumps Ricochet to the outside for a baseball slide, and back in, a fireman's neckbreaker is worth two. Style Clash, but Ricochet railroads him into the corner to block, and starts making a comeback - the knee slowing him down and throwing him off, though. Enzuigiri gets two, but the knee prevents him from executing a suplex, and AJ capitalizes with the Calf Crusher. Ricochet manages to counter to an overhead wristlock submission, but AJ slugs free, so Ricochet uses a northern lights suplex into a roll of the dice for two. He wants to go up for the kill, but here come the goons, and while he fights them off, the distraction allows AJ to crotch him on the top by the time he gets back to plan-A. Styles follows up for a superplex, but Ricochet manages to block. He dives with a corkscrew, but AJ catches him in the Clash on the way down to retain at 12:56. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what was wrong with this one, but the flow definitely felt off the whole way through. Great finish, though. **

WWE Smackdown Women's Title Match: Bayley v Ember Moon: Bayley's look just keeps getting weirder and weirder every month. She needs a gimmick makeover, stat. They measure each other to start, with Moon out moving the champ, but Bayley sinking into a headlock to keep things grounded. Moon tries a corner whip, but Bayley reverses, and follows in with a clothesline. Charge, but Moon follows her with an avalanche, and hits a sloppy springboard bodypress for two. Dropkick gets two, so Moon works a modified surfboard, but Bayley escapes. She tries a bulldog, but Moon blocks that, only to miss another springboard bodypress. That allows Bayley a pair of clotheslines for two, and a suplex gets two. She unloads in the corner, but Moon fights her off, and Bayley ends up on the apron. Moon tries to spear her off, but Bayley catches her in a front-facelock to block, and she goes after the shoulder to shake Ember off. Inside, Bayley uses a tree of woe for some abuse until Moon falls off for two. Reverse crab is applied, but Moon fights free, and uses a headscissors takedown. Bayley tries to cut off the comeback, but Moon manages a superkick, so Bayley bails to the outside to avoid getting covered. Moon responds by trying a tope, but Bayley is ready with a right hand to block. She goes upstairs on the way back in, but Moon brings her off with a rana before she can dive, and a powerbuster gets two. Ember tries a German suplex, but Bayley counters to the Bayley-to-Belly, only for Moon to block. That lets Bayley go up again, but Moon powerbombs her for two before she can get anywhere with it. Moon goes up, but this time Bayley cuts her off, and a Bayley-to-Belly superplex retains at 10:01. This was really underwhelming and disjointed, but not flat out horrible, or anything. ¾*

Career Threatening Match: Kevin Owens v Shane McMahon: If Owens loses, he's out of WWE. Elias is the special guest enforcer for this one. Also, I know this is kind of old news, but I want to take a moment to acknowledge how awesome that Greg Hamilton/Shane McMahon Office parody video was. I wish the show were that playful and fun more often. As Owens argues with Elias on the outside, Shane orders the bell to sound, and Kevin nearly gets counted out right away. He hustles inside, so now Shane decides to run away, and mores Kevin chase him around ringside so Elias can trip him up. That leads to another countout tease, since apparently Owens is the stupidest person alive. Back in, Owens beats him down in the corner to set up a Cannonball, and McMahon goes back to the outside - only this time via a clothesline over the top. Kevin preps a dive, but Elias stands in his way, and Shane chucks an angry Owens into the barricade from the apron. Seriously, I get what they're going for, but why do they have to get there by making Owens look like a complete moron who has never been in a wrestling match before. Like, the McMahon's used to stack the deck against Steve Austin too, but they never made him look foolish. Owens beats the count, so Shane works him over for a while, using a DDT for two. Sharpshooter, but Owens blocks, and hits the Pop-Up Powerbomb - only for Elias to distract the referee to prevent a count. That leads to more dumb-dumb Owens stuff, ending in Shane hooking a schoolboy for two. Kevin cuts him off with a clothesline, and he grabs a chair, with Shane begging him to do it so this thing ends. McMahon braces himself, but Owens refuses to do it, instead deciding to turn his back on Shane altogether to go yell at Elias some more. Luckily, the sneak attack backfires this time, and Owens hits a flying somersault senton splash, followed by a flying frogsplash... only for Elias to pull the referee out at two. Owens responds by diving off the apron with a somersault senton, but he ends up taking the referee out along with Elias, and now it's chair time! Unfortunately for Kevin, the referee recovers before he can use it, so Owens settles for punting McMahon in the balls instead. Stunner, and Shane's done at 9:17. Not much to this as a wrestling match, but fairly entertaining in its own way, provided you can suspend disbelief enough to the point where you can buy an experienced ring vet falling for the same stupid shit over and over again. *

Charlotte Flair v Trish Stratus: This is actually kind of a dream match for me, so hopefully Trish can still go. Charlotte towers her here - looking more like Hulk to Trish's Flair. Flair powers her around, but Trish sticks and moves to get a few takedowns. Charlotte tries for a quick Figure Eight, but Trish uses a headscissors takedown to block, and both back off for a bit. Charlotte tries a powerbomb, but Trish armdrags her to the outside to block, then dives off the apron with a Thesz-press on the floor. She tries dragging Flair back in, but Charlotte sweeps the leg on the way, and Trish ends up taking a header right into the steps. Charlotte offers her a free trip into the barricade as well, and back in we go, with Flair dominating. It's odd to think because they represent such different eras of women's wrestling, but Trish is only ten years older than Charlotte. In fact, she retired when she was several years younger than Charlotte is now. Charlotte with a suplex, but a side suplex gets toppled for two, so Flair starts punching her instead. Well, that is a lot more direct. Charlotte starts the trash talk, so Trish beats her down. Into the corner for a ten-punch, but Charlotte dumps her over the top to the apron, and sends her to the floor with a big boot. Now she's even WORKING like Hogan! Trish beats the count, so Charlotte drives a few kneesmashes as soon as she's in, but the flying moonsault misses. Pretty sure Trish moved well before Charlotte even jumped there. Stratus with a quick DDT to buy recovery time, but Charlotte is still up first, and kicks her back down. Trish responds by unloading chops, but the handstand rana gets blocked. Trish responds by turning it into a rana off the top for two, but the Chick Kick misses, allowing Flair a big boot for two. Charlotte works the knee to set up the Figure Eight, but Trish counters with a sloppy cradle for two. Victory cradle into her own (ugly) figure eight follows, and while the hold is not well executed, Trish's bridge game is definitely on point. No matter, Charlotte makes the ropes, and she swipes at Trish's knee to buy time. Spear, but Trish dodges, and drops Flair with the Stratusfaction for two. They then start making out on the mat... or something... whatever it is leading into both trading chops as they get to a vertical base. Trish wins with a somersault cradle for two, so Charlotte tries another big boot, but Trish counters with the Chick Kick for two. Another Kick, but this time Charlotte counters with the big boot, and the Figure Eight finishes at 16:38. I know everyone really loves Trish (and I do too), but if we're being honest, she was never really THAT good. She was really good FOR HER TIME, but she was never really working at the level that the women do today. Not because she probably couldn't, but because she didn't need to, and she didn't have enough people to really work at the level with anyway. Remember that in her era the women were getting four minutes as cool down matches between main events. I was still really looking forward to this anyway, but I don't know what I was expecting. This was disappointing in a 'dream match' sense, but about what you'd expect if approaching it with realistic expectations, especially considering Trish has basically been retired since the Bush administration. ** ¼

WWE Title Match: Kofi Kingston v Randy Orton: Orton tries to overpower the champ around in the early going, but Kingston just won't have it, and keeps fighting him off. Kingston with a flying tomahawk chop, and he starts unloading in the corner, but another trip to the top ends badly when Randy shoves him off, all the way down into the barricade. He slams Kofi on an announce table out there, but a whip into the step backfires when Kofi jumps over them, and then rebounds at him with a tomahawk chop. Kofi tries a dive off the apron, but Randy hits the deck, and Kingston wipes out. Back to the announce table for another slam, and the challenger rolls him in to hook the leg for two. Superplex, but Kingston blocks, and dives off the top with a flying DDT. He starts making a comeback, but Orton counters Trouble in Paradise with the inverted headlock backbreaker for two. Rope-hung DDT, but Kingston counters with a backdrop over the top, and he leaps after his challenger with a flying stage dive. Flying bodypress gets two on the way back in, but he sends himself into the rope-hung DDT while looking for a follow-up. I love how Orton is just taking his time, patiently waiting as he sets up the RKO. And by 'love' I mean 'hate with a passion.' To be clear. RKO, but Kofi counters with a backslide for two. To the top for a dive, but Orton catches him in the RKO on the way down, so Kingston rolls to the outside to avoid getting covered. Randy decides to beat him up in front of his babies (who don't look particularly concerned), but that's a bridge to far for Kingston, and he starts making a fiery comeback - only for the referee to count both guys out at 16:31. Yuck. This just dragged on and on for sixteen minutes, with fuck all going on until the end. Also, sixteen minutes for THAT finish?! ½*

Finn Balor v Bray Wyatt: I'm digging the new look for Bray. Wyatt immediately headbutts him down, and then whips him into the ropes for a headbutt to the chest on the rebound. Bray unloads in the corner, but a charge misses, so Wyatt tries psychological warfare instead. I love how Finn is acting all terrified, as if we've never seen Bray Wyatt lean back in the corner a million times before. Like, just kick him, or something! Sister Abigail, but Finn blocks, and starts making a comeback. Coup de Grace looks to finish, but Bray dodges, and uses a mandible claw for the win at 3:28. I like the new gimmick, but the match was brutal in all the wrong ways. DUD

Main Event: WWE Universal Title Match: Brock Lesnar v Seth Rollins: Brock goes after the taped up ribs in the corner right away, but Seth lands on his feet to block a release German suplex, and he rebounds at the champ with a curb stomp for two. Brock wisely bails, but Seth is on him with a high knee off of the apron, and back in they go. Pair of superkicks put Brock down for another curb stomp, but this time Lesnar is ready with an F5 to block, and he gets brutal - picking Seth up BY THE RIB TAPE, and chucking him around the ring. Ouch! Lesnar with a three-alarm rolling German suplex, so Rollins bails, but Brock is on his tail with a German out on the floor. Back in, Brock with another suplex, so Seth bails again, but that's just not smart at all in this particular case, with this particular opponent. F5 on the floor as punishment for making Brock walk, but Seth sends him into the post to block, and hits a springboard flying high knee on the way back inside. Flying high knee, but Lesnar dodges that one, and uses a release German to buy recovery time. Brock takes off the gloves so we can get down to real business, and he chucks Seth across the ring with a suplex, before cornering him for some Beast abuse. Waistlock looks to crush those injured ribs into dust, but Rollins makes the ropes, so Lesnar ropechokes him instead. Seth's just not learning the big lesson: don't make Brock work harder than he has to. Brock with more abuse in the corner, but a charge misses, and Seth dropkicks him to the outside. The challenger follows with a trio of topes, but Brock catches him on the third, and Rollins eats post. Lesnar sets up an announce table, but Seth throws a superkick before Brock can use it, and Rollins puts him through it himself with a flying frogsplash! Both guys beat the count in, and Rollins manages another flying frogsplash as they do. Curb stomp hits for two, so Seth tries another one, but Brock is ready with the F5. Rollins manages to slip free and throw a superkick, however, and another curb stomp puts it away at 13:20! This was a pretty fun match, with both guys just wrecking each other, and not overstaying their welcome. ***

BUExperience: A pair of good (but not great) matches bookend a pretty underwhelming (but not terrible) SummerSlam.

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