WWE No Mercy (October 2004)

From East Rutherford, New Jersey; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz

Opening Match: Eddie Guerrero v Luther Reigns: Reigns overpowers him in the early going, but walks into a backelbow, and Eddie takes him down with a drop-toehold into a chinlock. Reigns shoulderblocks free, so Eddie throws a dropkick, and snapmares him over for two. Guerrero grabs an armbar, but gets reversed into the corner, and Luther press-slams him on the rebound for two, then hugs him like a bear. Eddie uses headbutts to escape, but walks into a big boot for two. Series of jabs get two, and Reigns grounds him with a bow-and-arrow. Side suplex hits, followed by a backbreaker submission, but Eddie escapes. He throws a bodypress, so Reigns hits the deck, and Guerrero goes flying out to the floor - where Mark Jindrak attack him. Back in, Reigns backelbows him for two, and goes for the Reign of Terror, but Eddie runs the ropes into an inverted cutter for two. Eddie starts making a comeback with dropkicks and clotheslines, but Luther counters the third alarm of the rolling vertical suplexes into a forward-falling suplex. Eddie bails, and makes the most of his time on the floor by pick pocketing a weapon from a security guard, and tucking it into his boot. Inside, Eddie hits him with a chair, but misses the Frogsplash, so he hits him with the police weapon, and hits another Frogsplash for the pin at 13:24. Despite being in the business for nearly a decade at this point, Reigns still looked clumsy as hell out there, though Guerrero did a good job of covering up for him. The bit with pick pocketing the weapon from security was awesome, and perfect for the character, though I wish he'd have used that in a match where it could have meant more. * ¾

WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: Spike Dudley v Nunzio: I know it's the Cruiserweight division, but seriously, I think I was bigger than Spike is here when I was in middle school. Fight over the initial lockup goes to a stalemate, and Nunzio hiptosses him out of a criss cross. Another hiptoss puts the champ on the floor, and he manages a bodyblock on the way back in for two, then an Oklahoma roll for two. Spike reverses a hammerlock, but gets dumped to the outside again, and Nunzio is on him with a sloppy plancha. Ew, where did he learn to work? ECW? Back in, it gets two, and a double leg-takedown gets two. He goes up to finish, but the Dudley Boyz shove him off, and Spike covers for two. Spike snapmares him over for a full-nelson, and tries a magistral cradle, but Nunzio reverses for two. Nice, you don't see that counter often. 2^nd rope axehandle, but Spike blocks with a dropkick for two, and goes back to the full-nelson. Collision in the corner ends in a double-knockout, and Nunzio controls the resulting slugfest with a side suplex for two. Cross corner whip gets two, and a 2^nd rope legdrop gets two. To the floor, Nunzio backdrops him, then back in covers for two. Spike tries the Dudley Dog out of nowhere, but gets countered into a backslide for two, so the Boyz interfere again, and Spike retains at 8:49. It was watchable, but never anything more than a basic TV match - with a terrible TV match ending, to boot. * ¾

Billy Kidman v Paul London: Kidman stalls on the floor, so London goes after him with a baseball slide, and forces him in for a backdrop. Snapmare and a leg lariat get two, and Paul unloads mounted punches. Dropkick puts Kidman back on the floor, and he dives after him with a visually impressive springboard corkscrew moonsault. Paul rolls him in with a slingshot splash for two, but walks into a kick, and Kidman wraps him around the post. Nice bump from London there. Kidman capitalizes with a mat-based abdominal stretch, and punts the ribs for two. Bow-and-arrow followed by a gutbuster for two, and Kidman flapjacks him, then just starts blatantly punching at the ribs. London fights him off long enough to hit a spinheel kick, and follows with an enzuigiri for two. Powerbomb, but Kidman counters into a sitout facebuster for two - only to have the BK Bomb countered into a rana for two. London tries a rebound clothesline, but Kidman counters with a dropkick, then has second thoughts about finishing him. London capitalizes by superkicking him to setup a shooting star press, but Kidman lifts the knees into the already injured ribs to block, then hits his own Shooting Star Press for the pin at 10:38. Good match, with Kidman's experience ultimately trumping London's youthful exuberance. ***

WWE Tag Team Title Match: Rene Dupree and Kenzo Suzuki v Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam: Dupree starts with Van Dam, and he tries a powerbomb, but Rob backdrops to block, and they trade cradle reversals. Tag to Rey with a dropkick for two, but he gets caught in the wrong corner, and Suzuki tags in for some chops. He loses a criss cross, however, and Mysterio hits a seated corner dropkick. The champs end up getting sent out to the floor, and Rob and Rey dive onto them with stereo somersault planchas. Back in, Rob unloads kicks on Suzuki, but gets shoved off the top rope by Dupree when he tries the Five Star Frogsplash, and the champs cut the ring in half on him. RVD reverses Suzuki into the corner to allow the tag to Rey, and Mysterio is a casa of fire. Four-way brawl breaks out, and Rey hits the 619 on Suzuki, but Dupree shakes the top rope as he goes for the West Coast Pop, and Kenzo covers to retain at 9:15. This wasn't a classic or anything, but a fine tag match to fill ten minutes, and not drive people to the bathrooms en masse. Rey and Rob were a fun team, and perfect in these roles. *

Kurt Angle v Big Show: Show puts on a power display in the early going, and hits a visually impressive hanging vertical suplex, then causally press-slams him. Kurt finally bails, and decides to take a walk, but General Manager Teddy Long shows up, and tells him that if he doesn't get back in he will not only lose the match, but his job along with it. He gives him a ten-count, and Kurt brings it back in, but gets destroyed again - Show tossing him around with ease. Angle tries grabbing a chair, but gets it punched back into his face, and Show bodyslams him. Chokeslam, but Kurt counters into the Anklelock - in what is literally his first offensive move in the match thus far. Guess he's trying to make 'em count. Kurt cranks it on, but Show powers out - taking out the referee in the process. That allows Angle to bash his knee with a chair, and he grabs a leglock. Kurt hooks a grapevine while hanging off of the ring apron, which is a unique interpretation of the hold that looks so much more awesome and impressive than the standard version. Say what you will about Kurt's psychology, but the guy definitely got the importance of keeping the crowd engaged. He keeps after the knee, but Show powers up, and bodyslams him again. Big boot hits, but a second one misses, and Kurt executes the Olympic Slam for two. Kurt responds by grabbing a gun. Well, that sure escalated quickly. It's a tranquilizer gun, but still. You'd think THAT would be grounds for firing, but apparently running away from a fight is a much greater offense than trying to shoot your opponent. Where's Jesse Ventura when you need him? Show rips it away from him, however, and Chokeslams him for the pin at 14:07. Any match where one guy literally tries shooting the other is not exactly a mat classic. *

WWE United States Title Best of Five Series Match: Booker T v John Cena: This is the final match in the series, with both guys tied at two wins a piece. Cena sucks up to the crowd by wearing a Nets jersey. Maybe he should try that more today. Slugfest to start, and Cena shoulderblocks him down for two, but gets caught in a front-facelock. Savate kick, but John ducks, and clotheslines him out over the top. Booker manages to nail him on the way back in, but misses a charge in the corner, and John levels him with a lariat for two. Booker throws a spinebuster for two, and tosses him to the floor for a shot into the steps, but a second one gets reversed. Inside, Cena gets two off of it, but walks into a stungun, and Booker superkicks him for two, then hooks a chinlock. Cena escapes with a bodypress for two, but gets reversed into the corner, and Booker vertical suplexes him for two. Another one, but Cena reverses, so Booker flapjacks him for two - only to miss the Harlem sidekick. John throws a jumping shoulderblock for two, and bulldogs him (which I believe is the one that ended up on the WrestleMania 22 poster) to setup the Five Knuckle Shuffle for two. FU, but Booker counters into a uranage for two. He grabs a chair, but the referee reminds him that if he loses the match - even by DQ - he'll lose the title since it's Series. He tries the axekick instead, but the reprieve allows Cena to recover and dodge, then grabs Booker in the FU at 10:22 to win the title. It was well paced, and back-and-forth, but just felt kinda... there. Definitely better than the SummerSlam match, however. **

Six-Person Tag Team Match: Dawn Marie and The Dudley Boyz v Miss Jackie, Charlie Haas, and Rico: Bubba Dudley starts with Haas, but D-Von Dudley immediately runs in with a cheap shot, and goes to work. Dawn comes in, but ends up getting speared by Jackie, but takes her down, and passes to Bubba. Bubba comes in and basically threatens to full on rape her, but offers her an out if she gives him a kiss. He closes his eyes and puckers up - only for Rico to sneak in and plant one on him. That's a dangerous move in New Jersey, pal. We've all seen The Sopranos. Bubba completely loses his shit and nearly walks out on the match, but comes back to crotch Rico on the top rope, and the Boyz cut the ring in half on him. Rico manages a DDT on Bubba to allow the tag to Haas, and he busts out a cool sequence where he backdrops D-Von, then immediately adds a dropkick on Bubba - all in one fluid motion. Crazy! Six-way brawl breaks out, but D-Von has second thoughts about hitting the Wassup Drop on Rico, and ends up taking a flying moonsault from him at 8:48. Basically a comedy match mixed with some T&A, and that's fine. *

Main Event: WWE Title Last Ride Match: John Bradshaw Layfield v The Undertaker: The object of the match is to stuff your opponent into a hearse, which is located by the entrance. I don't know what their exact thinking was, but ever since Steve Austin blew the roof off of the joint with the beer truck in 1999, they've continuously trotted out vehicles as match gimmicks, as if the very presence of four wheels and an engine was supposed to turn every segment into a classic segment. Slugfest to start, which is controlled by Undertaker, and he hits the ropewalk forearm. Big boot and a chokeslam hit, and they spill out to the floor. Undertaker preps an announce table, but Bradshaw hits him with the steps to avoid it, and pounds him up the aisle. He goes for the hearse, but Undertaker blocks, and they head back into the ring. Bradshaw with a flying shoulderblock and a swinging neckbreaker, but he gets caught in a triangle choke, and seemingly passes out. Undertaker dumps him out to the floor, and backdrops him off of the steps out there, as we get a shot of a very nasty bruise on the side of Bradshaw's entire leg. Yuck. Unfortunately, the announcers don't garner any bonus points by claiming he bumped it getting up from his desk, or something. They spill into the crowd for a brawl, then back to ringside with Undertaker hitting a Tombstone onto the steps - busting the champion open. The spot looked really great from the original camera angle, but they totally expose it once they start with the multiple replays from different angles. Sometimes, less is more, guys. Chokeslam through a table follows, and Undertaker carries him towards the hearse, when suddenly Heidenreich pops out, and starts blitzing the challenger. He grabs a chloroform soaked rag to knock him out, and they lock Undertaker in the hearse to give JBL the win at 21:07. You know, if you want to make these guys your main eventers, that's fine. I mean, it sucks, but I get it. It's your company, and your investment. But do they need to work twenty minute matches every fucking time? Believe me, no one would have felt ripped off if every Undertaker main event from this period were no longer than ten minutes. Guaranteed. ¾*

BUExperience: Up until the main event, it’s a perfectly decent show. Not anything worth going out of your way to see, or with any standout matches, but watchable nonetheless. The main event is a twenty minute pile of crap with a urine soaked cherry on top, however.

*