WWE Unforgiven (September 2004)

From Portland, Oregon; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

Opening Match: Ric Flair and Batista v Chris Benoit and William Regal: Batista starts with Benoit, but makes the mistake of shoving him around, and nearly ends up in the Crippler Crossface as a result. Batista looks odd in gold tights with burgundy boots/pads, but I can't quite put my finger on who he reminds me of. Chris takes him down for some schooling on the mat, then passes to Regal, but Batista keeps going after Benoit on the apron. You'd think he'd get the concept, given that he's been a tag champion already at this point, but you'd be wrong, I guess. Regal capitalizes with a head-and-arm suplex, but makes the mistake of tagging Benoit back in, and he gets killed. Flair tags in to trade chops with Chris, with Benoit controlling, then backdropping him. Regal and Benoit pinball Flair around a bit, with Flair just selling his ass off - especially for Benoit. An enzuigiri leaves Flair close enough to tag Batista, but he gets caught in the wrong corner, and doubled up on - only for the same thing to happen to Regal, but much worse because Evolution openly cheat to take control. They cut the ring in half on Regal, and Ric gets the Figure Four on him, but Benoit saves, and William manages an inside cradle for two. Tag to Batista stops Regal from tagging out, and Batista vertical suplexes him for two - again saved by Benoit, but this time Regal tags. Chris is a nuthouse of fire, and hits the flying headbutt on Flair, but Batista breaks up the Crossface, and gets rid of Regal with a spinebuster. That allows Ric to go for the Figure Four, but Benoit counters back to the Crossface, and Batista is busy with Regal - Ric tapping at 15:06. Good opener, with hard work all around, and not at all rushed. ***

WWE Women's Title Match: Trish Stratus v Victoria: Victoria is looking way too much like Chyna here for my tastes. Maybe they should just induct her into the Hall of Fame, and hope people don't notice the difference - like they did with Razor Ramon and Diesel in 1996. Victoria takes her down in a waistlock early, so Trish fires off kicks, but gets press-gutbustered. Yeah, that's not going to help with the Chyna comparisons, that's for sure. Dropkick puts the champ on the outside, but Tyson Tomko moves her out of harms way to prevent Victoria from diving after her, and Trish knocks her into the post as a result. Inside, that gets two, and she unloads a few punts to the ribs for two. Trish stretches on the mat to work the ribs, and adds a hairpull-slam for two. Spinebuster gets two, and she grabs a chinlock, but Victoria powers out, and hits the Spider's Web for two. Bodyslam sets up a standing moonsault for two, but Trish ducks a clothesline and fires the Chick Kick - only to get blocked. Victoria stupidly stops to hit Tomko with a plancha, however, and Trish finishes her with the Stratusfaction at 8:21. Decent match, terrible finish. Afterwards, Trish and Tomko continue to assault Victoria, so Steven Richards runs out in drag to make the save, and they decide to have a match right then and there. * ¼

Tyson Tomko v Steven Richards: Tyson slugs him down and tears his dress off, as he crowd just stands there stone-faced, not giving them so much as polite reaction to anything. Tomko keeps pounding him down for what seems like an eternity, and you can literally see half the crowd standing there with their arms folded, waiting for it to end. Unfortunately, it just keeps dragging on, as Tomko slaps on a headvise. Because that's just what this 'match' needs: restholds! Richards escapes, and grabs Tomko's nuts to turn the tide, then plants a pair of corner dropkicks on him, but gets caught in Tomko's backbreaker rack into a neckbreaker (a finisher that desperately needs a catchy name) for the pin at 6:25. Literally everything about this was embarrassing to watch as a wrestling fan. –**

WWE Intercontinental Title Ladder Match: Chris Jericho v Christian: This is for the vacant title. Jericho blitzes him at the bell, and hits a vertical suplex, followed by a side suplex. Forrest green tights are not a good look for Christian, and those with red and white trim makes him look like some kind of disgruntled department store elf, more than anything else. Chris backdrops him out of the ring, but Christian is stirring before Jericho can retrieve the ladder, so Chris puts him down with an enzuigiri first. He goes for the ladder again, but they end up spilling into the crowd for a quick brawl. Jericho chokes him with some electrical wires, but gets caught with the Unprettier on the floor, and Christian grabs the ladder. He climbs, but Jericho grabs his ankle to prevent him from grabbing the belt, so Christian punishes him with the ladder a bit - only to have a whip into a corner mounted ladder get reversed. Chris throws the ladder at him, but an attempt to bulldog him onto it is blocked, and Christian uses a slingshot into the ladder to take control - only to have it tossed at him again to block a corner dropkick. Jericho rides the ladder down off the top rope onto him, but another try at the bulldog is blocked when Christian moves, and Chris snags his leg in the rungs - hanging himself in a tree of woe. Christian capitalizes with a running kneesmash, and he climbs, so Jericho - unable to reach him in time to stop it - flips him off. He knows his former tag partner well, because Christian is stupid enough to fall for it, and gets the ladder dropkicked into his face when he goes after Jericho, and Chris finally hits the elusive bulldog onto the ladder. Lionsault onto the ladder misses, however, and Christian knocks him to the floor with it. He climbs, but Chris pulls the ladder away - leaving Christian hanging. He still tries to unhook the strap, so Chris swats him out of the air with the ladder like he's a human piñata. Chris places the bottom rung of the ladder over Christian to try and pin him down while he makes a climb attempt, but Christian manages to get loose, and tips the ladder over - Chris crashing down, and ending up on the floor. Christian climbs, but Jericho follows, and slaps on the Walls - though it looks very obviously choreographed because Christian is way too cooperative. Chris goes for the belt from there, but Christian sweeps the ladder away, and Jericho takes a pretty nasty bump onto it. They climb dueling ladders, and Jericho bulldogs him off, then climbs for the belt at 22:28. This fell flat. It didn't really have any flow, it was just spot, setup, spot, and on top of that, the spots looked very obviously worked, with the camera angles exposing and deflating them at every turn. Both guys have had much better ladder matches. ** ½

No Disqualification Match: Shawn Michaels v Kane: Shawn goes right at him, and takes him down with a quick Thesz-press for a series of mounted punches, and Kane bails. Shawn rams his arm into the post out there, then rolls him in for a flying axehandle, but Kane decks him on the way down to block. Kane with a cross corner clothesline for two, and a bodyslam sets up an elbowdrop, but Shawn rolls out of the way, then clotheslines him out of the ring. Michaels is right on him with a plancha, so Kane starts using Lita as a shield, and takes over. Kane press-slams him onto the announce table, but it fails to break, so he tries again - vertical suplexing him through it. Back in, that gets two. Kane adds a legdrop for two, and he cross corner whips him, then sidewalks slams him for two. Chinlock, but Shawn slugs free, so Kane clobbers him with a clothesline for two. Side suplex, but Shawn counters into a DDT, and wins the resulting slugfest with a diving forearm. They spill to the outside again, and Kane rams him into the steps to draw blood, but a big boot against the post misses, and Shawn smacks his head into it. In, Michaels hits a pair of inverted atomic drops, and clotheslines him down to setup a flying elbowdrop. Superkick, but Kane counters with a big boot for two, then adds a flying clothesline. Chokeslam, but Michaels blows him low to block, then smacks him with a chair. Shawn is too battered to cover, however, so Kane goes for the chair himself. Lita pulls it away, so Kane decides to chokeslam him, but the reprieve allows Michaels to regroup, and hit the Superkick at 18:03. I wasn't particularly impressed with it, but obviously the WWE feels pretty strongly about it, as it's actually included on not one but TWO Kane DVD compilation sets they've released - and they usually don't like including matches where the subject loses to begin with. Definitely good for a Kane match, though it certainly wouldn't make any of Michaels' DVDs. **

World Tag Team Title Match: La Resistance v Tajiri and Rhyno: Sylvain Grenier starts with Tajiri, and quickly shoulderblocks him down for two. Tajiri responds by outwrestling him on the mat, and both guys tag. Rhyno backdrops Robert Conway, but Rob dodges the Goar, and hits a single-arm DDT. The champs cut the ring in half on Rhyno, but he quickly gets to Tajiri, so they go to work on him instead. Potato, potahto. Tajiri manages a headscissors and a superkick on Conway to allow the tag, and Rhyno is a hoyse of fyre. Four-way brawl, and Rhyno Goar's Grenier, but Conway puts his foot onto the ropes to save the belts. Rhyno goes to deal with him, but that allows Grenier to whack him with a flagpole to retain at 9:41. This was nothing. ¾*

Main Event: World Heavyweight Title Match: Randy Orton v Triple H: They go to a few stalemates off of the initial lockups, so a frustrated challenger throws a shove - only to get paintbrushed for his efforts. Reversal sequence ends in another stalemate, so Hunter shoves him again - and gets the taste slapped out of his mouth a second time. Cross corner whip sets up a backdrop for the champion, and a European uppercut allows him to snapmare HHH down for a kneedrop for two. Chinlock, but Hunter escapes - only to loses a slugfest, and get whipped out of the ring. Back in, Orton unloads a few more uppercuts, but Hunter dodges a backdrop, and clips his knee. The challenger goes right to work on it, and cuts off a comeback with a kneeling facebuster for two. Back to the knee with a figure four, but Orton escapes, and sends HHH into the post to draw a totally unnecessary bladejob. Randy with a powerslam for two, and he plants a well executed dropkick for two. DDT gets two, but Hunter reverses a whip into the ropes, and grabs a sleeper. Orton reverses, so HHH side suplexes free, but hits boot as he tries a 2^nd rope splash. Randy capitalizes with a flying bodypress for two, and hits an inverted headlock backbreaker for two. RKO, but Hunter shoves him right into the referee to block. Pedigree, but Orton counters into the RKO, and here comes Ric Flair. Randy fights him off, but Batista is right on him now, so Orton dodges him in the corner to clean house. The distraction still allows Hunter a lowblow, and Jonathan Coachman runs out in a referees shirt to count two himself. Orton takes him out, but gets overwhelmed fighting against four guys, and Batista delivers a spinebuster to give the challenger a two count. Pedigree, but Orton counters with a backdrop, and delivers RKOs to all the cronies. Time to finish the challenger, but Hunter whacks him with a chair to cut the effort off, then polishes him off with the Pedigree onto the chair at 24:45. Yay, Triple H gets the belt again after another dull, overlong pay per view main event! The world can rest easy tonight! Yippee! *

BUExperience: There is literally nothing on this show worth going out of your way to see, and there’s no historical significance, either. Unless you’re interested in seeing a live abortion, in which case check out the Tomko/Richard match. By all means.

DUD