WWE Taboo Tuesday (November 2005)

Original Airdate: November 1, 2005

From San Diego, California; Your Hosts are Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler

Opening Match: Rey Mysterio and Matt Hardy v Chris Masters and Snitsky: Hardy and Mysterio are in with 31% and 29% respectively, over three other potential Smackdown candidates. Edge is supposed to team with Masters to represent RAW, but decides against it, and sends Snitsky out in his place. Masters attacks both guys as they react to Edge's bail out, and whips Rey hard into the corner, then hanging vertical suplexes him for two. What the shit... looks like they're using two referees - one RAW and one Smackdown - simultaneously here. As is, both in the ring at the same time, and counting stereo pinfalls. I know Gorilla Monsoon always said you needed a second referee out there during tag team matches, but I don't think that's what he meant. Masters and Snitsky destroy Rey and cut the ring in half, but he manages a headscissors on Chris to allow the tag off to Matt. Hardy is a weed dispensary of fire, but Masters blocks the Twist of Fate by shoving him right into a big boot from Snitsky. The RAW teams goes back to cutting the ring in half on Matt, but he manages to pop off a DDT, and get the tag. Mysterio is a casa of fire, and it's springboard city, baby! Rey gets caught in the Master Lock, which leads to a fight between the referees over the call, since of course. The brawl continues between the two teams, and Masters eats the 619 to setup the Twist of Fate by Hardy - punctuated with a springboard splash from Mysterio at 13:46. This was fun, with the two larger RAW guys kicking the crap out of the smaller Smackdown guys with gusto! The double referee thing was weird, though. **

Rob Conway and Tyson Tomko v Eugene and Jimmy Snuka: Jimmy Snuka is voted in as the legend to team with Eugene with 43% of the vote, over Kamala and Jim Duggan. Eugene starts with Tomko, and Tyson absolutely MURDERS him with a bodyslam. Like, 'ouch, I hope the ring was reinforced' type shit. The heels beat down Eugene, but a miscommunication allows the tag to the Superfly. The 'hot' tag gets almost zero pop, which isn't all that surprising given that Snuka looks about as dangerous as your great grandfather on a hard candy binge. It's kinda sad watching him play to the crowd while calling for the Superfly Splash, and getting nothing. Anyway, Conway eats the Splash at 6:12. This was Jimmy Snuka wrestling on pay per view in 2005. I guess they figured Cowboy Bob got a payday that year, so he might as well get one too? ¼*

Mankind v Carlito: 'Mankind' is voted as the Mick Foley gimmick of choice with 52% of the vote, over Cactus Jack and Dude Love. Mick looks more like a guy dressed as Mankind in the form of a parody than as the real Mankind. Kinda sad, really. He ties Carlito in a tree of woe for an elbowdrop, and a slingshot across the middle rope follows. Baseball slide sends Carlito to the outside for a swinging neckbreaker, but a charge with a chair backfires when Carlito sends him into the steps with a drop-toehold. Carlito adds a dropkick before bringing it back in and covering for two, and a Russian legsweep gets two. Electric chair gets two, though it looked horrible, as Mankind's ballooning weight wasn't doing them any favors. Sleeper, but Mankind escapes with a snapmare, and they work a double-knockout spot. Mankind makes his comeback with a running kneesmash in the corner, and the cactus clothesline to the outside sets up a flying elbowdrop off the apron. Inside, that gets two, and the double-arm DDT sets up the Mandible Claw at 7:22. Despite being retired and out of shape, Foley was moving around well here, and engaged the crowd significantly more than Snuka did in the previous bout. *

World Tag Team Title Match: Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch v Big Show and Kane: Show and Kane are the chosen challengers, by losing a three way vote to Shawn Michaels over who gets to compete in the main event. Kinda weird that literally the last show I did before this one was Fastlane 2016, which also featured Kane and Big Show as a team. No matter where you go in time, they will get you! They double up on Murdoch, but Kane misses a charge in the corner, and Trevor clotheslines him. Tag to Cade, but Kane quickly shrugs him off, and passes to Show for some clubbering. The challengers basically squash both champions without breaking a sweat, until Murdoch finally gets sick of it, and shoves Kane off the top rope to the floor for a Sweet & Sour to turn the tide. They briefly cut the ring in half on Kane, but he's big, he's red, he used to be a dentist - there's no stopping him! Tag to Show, and a tandem-chokeslam finishes Cade at 7:49. It's Show and Kane... doesn't really matter what year it is, my thoughts are always the same. I've even worked out that nifty rhyme for just such occasions. ½*

Street Fight: Batista v Jonathan Coachman: Batista is the World Heavyweight Champion here, but that isn't on the line. Street Fight is selected with 91% of the vote, over verbal debate and arm wrestling. Yeah, no shit. Coach has Goldust and Vader with him, though as the bell sounds, they're in the ring, and he's hiding on the floor. So, effectively, this is a handicap match - if that's still PC to say. Those are some low rent goons, all things considered. I mean, no one loves Vader more than I do, but I wouldn't want Muhammad Ali on my side in a street fight nowadays either, you dig? Goldust and Vader beat Batista down in the corner, and with him down, Coach grabs a belt from the time keeper, and starts lashing him. He's really laying into him, too - ouch! Batista fights them off and gets some retribution with the strap, then spinebusters the goons before Batista Bombing Coach at 4:22. ¼*

WWE Women’s Title 6-Woman Lingerie Battle Royal: We've got Champion Trish Stratus, Ashley Massaro, Victoria, Mickie James, Maria, and Candice Michelle. Lingerie is the outfit of choice with 43% of the vote over leather & lace, and cheerleader outfits. It's kinda funny, because their skimpy lingerie is really no less revealing than their usual ring outfits. In typical Divas form, you don't even have to be sent out over the top - simply to the floor is sufficient. Anyway, stuff happens, until James and Victoria eliminate each other (while James was standing up for Trish) to give Stratus the win at 5:23. Nothing match, but it worked as a T&A break, as well as serving to get the Trish/Mickie angle over. DUD

WWE Intercontinental Title Cage Match: Ric Flair v Triple H: Steel Cage is selected as the gimmick, with 83% of the vote over a standard match or a submission match. Triple H starts the match on the top rope, which is certainly one strategy. Big staredown to start, and they get right into a slugfest - Flair able to control by throwing in some chops, but running into a high knee. HHH with a spinebuster, and he launches Ric into the cage wall to draw blood. Well, that sure didn't take long. Snapmare sets up a kneedrop, and Flair takes some grating against the mesh. That's one nasty bladejob - even the cage is visibly stained with Ric's blood. With Flair battered, HHH climbs, but Ric manages to meet him up there (with Hunter taking a suspiciously long time to climb) for a chopfest that ends in both guys getting crotched on the top. I have to stop and note how silly HHH looks with his Lemmy tribute facial hair. I love The Beatles, but you don't see me walking around looking like 1969 John Lennon, do you? Hunter produces a chain and tries a flying fistdrop with it, but Ric lifts his boot to block, and delivers a kneebreaker. Figure Four, but Hunter punches him with the chain to block, and hooks the leg for two. The referee takes the chain away from Hunter - though, in a cage match, it's not really illegal. If he missed it during the pre-match frisk then it's fair game. Hunter slaps on a figure four of his own, and fuck, Ric is just bleeding a disgusting amount at this point. Like, if this were today, I'm pretty sure they'd not only stop the match, but potentially the entire show. There aren't enough latex gloves in the county! Ric reverses, but HHH is in the ropes. He tries for another figure four, but Flair uses the free leg to shove him into the cage, and now Hunter is busted open - and it's a doozy as well. Ric gets some revenge with the cage, and delivers a hanging vertical suplex to setup a kneedrop. He clips the knee to setup the Figure Four, and Flair hits a flying tomahawk chop for two. Low blow gets an amazing sell job from Triple H (the facial expressions there were incredible), and Ric goes for the door, but Hunter grabs the ankle to stop him. As he pulls Ric back in, Flair drags a chair with him, but HHH takes it away. Flair responds by literally putting Hunter's balls in a vice, and that pretty much wins that argument. Yeah, well, that'll usually do it. Ric gets the chair and wallops Hunter with it, then walks out to retain at 23:45. Ric did this basic match like a million times in the 1980s, and while this was fine, you've gotta believe it would have been more fun with the heel/face dynamic reversed, and HHH in the Luger role. Flair undoubtedly earns MVP of the night for that bladejob, though. **

Main Event: WWE Title Triple Threat Match: John Cena v Shawn Michaels v Kurt Angle: First fall wins it. Kurt knocks Shawn to the floor right away so he can blitz John in the corner, but Cena fights back with a vertical suplex for two - Michaels breaking the count. Shawn bodypresses Angle for two, but gets hammered on by Cena - all three guys trading shots and moves in random order. John backdrops Kurt over the top to allow for a Cena/Michaels mini-match, and John hooks a backslide for two, but runs into a clothesline. Kurt comes back in with a variety of suplexes for everyone, but Shawn counters the Olympic Slam with a sunset flip - only to get countered into the Anklelock. He rolls free, which knocks Angle right into an FU from Cena, but Shawn throws a Superkick to stop it - John dropping Kurt, then leveling Michaels with a lariat for two. That was a fun sequence. Cena with an inside cradle on Angle for two, so the two challengers gang up on Cena for a bit. They hammer John-boy to the outside for a tandem-forward suplex through the announce table, but then the new besties immediately turn on one another. I did not see that coming, I tell you. Inside, Shawn manages a powerslam for two, but runs into a backelbow, and Kurt blasts him with a kneelift. Vertical suplex gets two, and he grounds the Heartbreak Kid with a bodyscissors. Michaels slugs free, but runs into a release overhead suplex. Kurt tries another one off the top, but Shawn knocks him down to the mat to setup the flying elbowdrop - only for Angle to pop back up, run to the top, and Olympic Slam him down! Nice! Anklelock, but Cena rushes in with a clothesline. Nap time IS OVER! He starts blitzing both guys, and Michaels nearly eats the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Angle saves by pulling John out of the ring. Michaels thanks him by diving out with a somersault plancha, and back in, he hits Kurt with the diving forearm and the inverted atomic drop. Bodyslam hits, but here's Cena, so Shawn gives him a diving forearm of his own. What a guy! Unfortunately for him, that allows Angle to recover, and he sends Shawn over the top with a release overhead suplex. Sick! Cena capitalizes by attacking from behind for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Kurt counters the FU with the Anklelock. John's trapped, but Shawn comes sailing in with a flying elbowdrop to break, and he Superkicks Angle - only to run into the FU before he can cover at 16:42. They hit some speed bumps in the early going, but once they put Cena through a table to setup the Michaels/Angle mini-match, then segued into trading signature moves, it was gold. *** ¼

BUExperience: This felt like the WWE’s version of a local indy show with all the old retired/semi-retired guys reliving their glory days for some cash up and down the card. The main event is good, but if you want to see Vader and Jimmy Snuka wrestle, you can just go down to the local rec-center

DUD