WWF Saturday Night's Main Event XVIII (Version II)

Original Airdate: November 26, 1988

From Sacramento, California; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura

Backstage, Super Ninja refuses to take a DNA test to determine whether or not he is, indeed, Kwang's father. Meanwhile, the Ultimate Warrior looks like he was essentially engineered to wear that Intercontinental belt

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Ultimate Warrior v Super Ninja: Ninja tries attacking before the bell, but gets completely and totally no-sold. Like, not even a courtesy facial expression of pain, or anything. Warrior actually busts out a leapfrog during a criss cross, and he knocks Ninja to he outside, then presses him back in for a turnbuckle smash. Press-slam/splash combo finishes at 2:11. A complete, total, and unapologetic squash. ½* (Original Rating: ¼*)

Back in October, Ted DiBiase decided to make Hercules his slave. He came equipped with his own chains, and everything!

Ted DiBiase clarifies that while Hercules is his slave, dispensing beatings himself is beneath him, since that's something for 'people like Virgil to do.' You know he's a great heel when I want to go back in time just so I can punch him in the nose. Meanwhile, Hercules claims to be a free man... while covered in chains. Well, as long as he's free in his mind, I guess

Hercules v Virgil: Jesse likens this feud to Roots, and Vince actually GETS THE REFERENCE, which is impressive for him. Ted and Virgil attack before the bell, but Hercules fights them both off, and backdrops Virgil before clotheslining him over the top - Virgil taking the bump with gusto! Hercules chases DiBiase around, but Virgil fucks up a sneak attack, and gets backdropped again, followed by an elbowdrop. Is Hercules Sheamus' father? No, but you'd totally believe it, right? Hercules with a series of clotheslines, and a running powerslam finishes Virgil at 3:20. A bit dull, but overall inoffensive, with Virgil bumping all over the place for Herc. ¼* (Original Rating: ¼*)

Back on the last episode of Saturday Night's Main Event in October, Jake Roberts gave Andre the Giant a snake induced heart attack. You really can't blame Andre for being afraid of snakes, given all those news stories you read about pythons that can swallow cars. I mean, when you're Andre there's very few things on the planet you have to worry about, but a reptile that can swallow a pickup truck is worrisome

Backstage, Andre the Giant ain't afraid of no ghosts! Meanwhile, Randy Savage would like to get the Mountain Dew Slam of the Night, and even wears lime green tights in hopes of increasing his odds

WWF Title Match: Randy Savage v Andre the Giant: Savage tries blitzing him, but gets swatted away, and railroaded in the corner. Savage fights out and tries a running axehandle, but Andre swats him again, and grabs a standing front-facelock. He shifts to a standing chinlock, as Randy tries to fight out of the Giant's grip. Lots of choking follows, as Andre just has nothing to give out there, other than a rub. Randy manages to fight back with a series of jabs, but quickly gets trapped in another choke in the corner. Dream match: 1988 Andre versus 1992 Undertaker. Randy finally manages to take him down with a 2^nd rope axehandle, as Jake Roberts makes his way to ringside, in a tasteful all-leather ensemble. He makes it work. Jake hides a snake underneath the ring before getting ejected, but he manages to rattle Andre, so mischief managed. Bobby Heenan desperately searches for the snake underneath the ring, as Andre starts losing ground to Savage - unable to focus on working him over. Bobby finally finds the snake, but an attempt to remove it from ringside draws Jake back out, and Andre ends up tied in the ropes! Jake looses the python, but Bobby manages to free Andre before Jake can attack - the official call a double disqualification at 8:51. Andre was pretty much useless as far as ring work went at this point, but both guys' natural charisma made this far more entertaining than the actual spots. Still, DUD (Original Rating: ¼*)

Backstage, Jim Duggan thinks if he pulls his tights up high enough, we won't be able to see his giant gut. Not high enough there, Jimmy

Flag Match: Jim Duggan v Boris Zhukov: Winner's flag gets raised. Duggan clears the ring with the 2x4 at the bell, but Zhukov doesn't back down. Slugfest goes Jim's way with an atomic drop, and he adds a big clothesline to send Boris bailing for the outside. Back in, Zhukov manages a knee when Hacksaw tries a backdrop, and he adds a kneedrop. Jim no-sells, however, and he manages to outsmart Zhukov when he tries another knee, but Duggan misses an elbowdrop. More random no-selling, and the 3-Point Stance finishes Zhukov off at 2:27. Positives: it was energetic. Negatives: it happened. ¼* (Original Rating: DUD)

Back in October, Big Boss Man attacked Hulk Hogan, and handcuffed him to a guardrail for some police brutality

Brother Love joins us with special guest Slick to discuss the joys of police brutality. Kinda weird that two minorities (a black man and a... red man...?) would be so exuberant, but there you go. Fellow minority Hulk Hogan (representing the orange skinned everywhere) makes an uninvited appearance to join the caucus, but then just beats up everyone whose opinion differs from his. You see, that's why they don't invite him. They're not racists, he's just a fucking asshole

Backstage, the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers sniff some miniature American flags. Pro tip: that works better with Columbian flags

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers v The Young Stallions: Jacques Rougeau starts with Jim Powers, and a nice criss cross ends in Jacques dropkicking him. Jim beats him into the corner for a ten-punch, but gets whacked with Jimmy Hart's megaphone, and caught with an abdominal stretch/superkick combo. Jacques with a jumping backelbow for two, but he misses a 2^nd rope bodypress, and Paul Roma gets the tag. He's a salon of fire to ignite a brawl between the teams, and La Bombe de Rougeau finishes at 3:05. The Stallions were pretty much done as a team by this point, and it shows, as this was a total squash. ¾* (Original Rating: ¼*)

Backstage, Andre the Giant is still mad bro, and takes his frustrations out on poor Jesse Ventura's jacket collar. Not cool, Andre. Not cool

Gene Okerlund catches up with Jake Roberts, who is still wearing all-leather, but has taken off his shirt, so now it's just leather pants. Good thing he didn't take those off... they can be tricky to get back into

Hulk Hogan decides that if you don't like what the jury says, you should just beat up the judge, and christen yourself as the executioner. I'm not so sure I agree 100% with your police work there, Hulkyloo. See, that's a British 'loo,' because that's the place for poops

BUExperience: While this aired two nights after the ’88 Survivor Series, it was actually in the can for over a week before the pay per view, which meant very little in the way of real angle advancement on this squash-heavy episode