WWF Saturday Night's Main Event XXIII (Version II)

Original Airdate: October 14, 1989

From Cincinnati, Ohio; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura

We flashback to last month, when Randy Savage defeated Jim Duggan to win the King of Wrestling moniker, and had a coronation ceremony with all the heels, hosted by real life brother The Genius. Somewhat notable is that, among the heels, Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, and Barry Windham are all standing in the same WWF ring

Backstage, Randy Savage, Sensational Sherri, and Jesse Ventura compete to see who has the gaudiest headwear. Meanwhile, Jimmy Snuka assures us that he can handle this new 'Macho King,' and Queen Sherri had better stay out of his way as well. Let's hope she does

Randy Savage v Jimmy Snuka: While I've never been a big fan of the 'king' gimmick, I do love the concept of a guy riding to the ring on a throne carried by jobbers. I don't think we've seen that since Mabel in 1995, and it needs to make a comeback! Savage attacks him with a high knee on the way into the ring, but gets reversed into a knife-edge chop. Savate kick and a diving double-ax setup an atomic drop to put Savage on the floor, and Jimmy goes after him with chops. Sherri, of course, gets involved out there to help Macho turn the tide, but that can't be a wise move on her part. Inside, Randy bodyslams him to setup a kneedrop for two, then dumps the Superfly to the outside for a flying axehandle. Sherri takes some more cheap shots out there (and nearly pops out of her top in the process), and Randy puts the boots to him for two. Macho hammers away, but Snuka starts no-selling, and chops the King in the corner. Cross corner whip and a clothesline put Macho down, and a cross corner whip sees Savage flip himself into a tree of woe. Sherri - on the right side of 'fuckable' tonight - thinks fast and passes Savage her loaded purse, and he blasts Snuka with it for the pin at 5:37. Afterwards, Macho gives him the Flying Elbow anyway for good measure, but ends up missing (in a wild bump), and Snuka cleans house to get his heat back. Or, well, he would have if he had any heat to begin with. Savage may have been getting (unfairly) shunted down the card during this period, but it certainly didn't affect his ring work. * ½ (Original rating: DUD)

Hulk Hogan/Zeus feud review. I've made a lot of joke about this feud over the years, but going back and watching all the '89 shows in order, it's really not as bad as people make it out to be, and it did good business - which is what counts

Ted DiBiase is ready to unify his Million Dollar Title with Hulk Hogan's WWF Title tonight, and he's got Zeus in his corner as an 'insurance policy.' Meanwhile, the Hulkster clarifies that Ted DiBiase may be rich, but he's the majority stockholder in Hulkamania. Yeah, I'd rather just be rich

WWF Title Match: Hulk Hogan v Ted DiBiase: Zeus tries to trip Hogan up during the initial lockup to allow DiBiase a cheap shot, but Hulk shrugs it off, and hammers him. Hulk bashes Ted with shoulderblocks, but stupidly bounces off the ropes in front of Zeus, and gets tripped up. Hulk shrugs off DiBiase's attack again, however, and a cross corner backelbow flops the challenger. More interference from Zeus finally puts Hogan down, until Jake Roberts comes out to even the score! The distraction allows Hulk to schoolboy DiBiase for two, and he unloads a ten-punch in the corner. That draws Virgil out to steal Jake's snake, and DiBiase is able to clothesline Hogan over the top as Hulk is busy watching Roberts chase Virgil away. DiBiase is finally able to build some momentum with a clothesline for two, and a series of overhead elbowsmashes setup a nice vertical suplex for two. 2^nd rope axehandle gets two, and Ted grounds the Hulkster in a chinlock. He fights out, but Zeus takes another cheap shot, and DiBiase capitalizes with a pair of fistdrops. Flying kneedrop looks to finish, but only triggers the HULK UP!! Fists of Fury! Big Boot! - but here comes Zeus again! This time, he actually GETS INTO THE RING and attacks Hogan, but somehow the referee STILL doesn't call for the DQ. Oh, come on! Alls well anyway, as the interference backfires, and Hogan puts DiBiase away with a small package at 8:12. Of course, the 'small package' belongs to Hulk Hogan the character, not Hulk Hogan the man. Just to be clear. Afterwards, Zeus and DiBiase beat Hogan down, until Jake comes back out with the snake to save. Watchable, but mostly angle stuff to setup Survivor Series. Which is fine. * ¼ (Original rating: ¼*)

Roddy Piper/Rick Rude feud review

Haku is ready to choke Roddy Piper with that skirt he wears. Meanwhile, Piper would rather prefer if he didn't do that

Roddy Piper v Haku: Piper's haircut here isn't doing him any favors as a defense to people calling it a 'skirt.' Haku attacks him before the bell, but Piper fights him off, and clotheslines him over the top. Roddy comes off the apron with a Thesz-press, but he makes the mistake of going after Bobby Heenan, and Haku clobbers him again. Inside, Haku hammers away, and hits a shoulderbreaker for two. Piper's wearing elbow pads on both arms tonight, which is an odd look for him. Not only that, but they're completely mismatched with the rest of his outfit. Legdrop and a flying splash look to finish, but Roddy rolls out of the way, and unloads with mounted punches. Flapjack and a belly-to-belly suplex finish at 3:02. Elbow pads? Belly-to-belly suplexes? What happened to Piper during those two years off? * (Original rating: ½*)

Backstage, Ted DiBiase doesn't appreciate Jake Roberts sticking his nose into his business. Hey, better your business than a pile of cocaine! Stop being a prick and take one for the team, TED!

Rick Martel gar-on-tees victory tonight. Oh yeah, well, Tito Santana can't even SPELL 'guarantee,' so how 'bout that then, jerk?

Rick Martel v Tito Santana: Both men bring their complete Survivor Series teams with them, which shows the insane level of forethought and planning that once existed. I mean, this show aired over a month before Survivor Series - which is impressive enough in its own right - but it was TAPED a full TWO months before Survivor Series! Today, they don't even have the main event of WrestleMania nailed down two months in advance, let alone teams for a undercard match on a B-pay per view. The crowd is just losing their shit at seeing so many stars showing down too. Martel attacks him from behind, but Tito fights him off with an atomic drop before clotheslining him to the outside. Santana's team doesn't mess with Martel out there, and Tito catches him with a sunset flip for two on the way back in. Armdrag leaves Martel begging off in the corner, but Tito shows no mercy. Criss cross goes Santana's way with a bodypress for two, so Rick suckers him into the corner, and this time is able to drop him into the turnbuckles to turn the tide. Well, briefly, as Santana blocks a backdrop, and controls a slugfest before hitting a backdrop of his own. Diving Forearm looks to finish, but of course Martel's team gets involved, and before long we have both teams standing on the apron ready to go at it! Things settle down, but Martel is able to gain control in the confusion, and he goes to work on the lower back. Hiptoss, but Santana counters with a backslide for two, so Martel delivers a facebuster. That's enough to setup the Boston Crab, but Tito quickly gets the ropes, and counters into a cradle for two. That would have been a cool finish, actually. Martel cuts off the comeback with a forward-backbreaker, but gets crotched on the top turnbuckle when trying to head up to finish, and Tito knocks him down with a flurry of fists. Series of turnbuckles smashes follow, but Martel's team prevents the Figure Four - igniting a big brawl between both teams for a double disqualification finish at 9:20. This was like a big commercial for Survivor Series, but one of those quality Super Bowl commercials though. ** ¾ (Original rating: * ¾)

Backstage, Roddy Piper is ready to have fun at three thirty in the morning. I feel like that's less a promo than a personal ad, but whatever sells tickets, I guess

The Bushwhackers are ready to get down and whack some bushes, and tonight they're gonna 'chew 'em up and spit 'em out.' Again, that sounds more like a very specific type of personal ad, but I suppose this was a world before Craigslist, and you had to take your chances where you could get them

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers v The Bushwhackers: The Rougeau's don't even get a pre-match promo, so I don't like their chances here. And, in fact, they'd be done as a team only a few months later (when Raymond retired), so that's not far off. Anyway, the 'Whackers attack before the bell and clean house, but Jimmy Hart fails to get away, and ends up losing his pants out of the deal. They take too long celebrating with Jimmy's pants and gets jumped, however, with the Brothers quickly settling into a grove while cutting the ring in half on Butch. Miscommunication sees Jacques Rougeau accidentally hitting brother Raymond with a high knee, however, and Luke gets the tag. He's an outhouse of fire, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on! Things boil over when the Bushwhackers catch Jacques with the Battering Ram at 3:15. Quick and inoffensive, but not 'good' by any means. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

Backstage, Hulk Hogan thinks Zeus works for Kellogg's, since he heard a 'snap, crackle, and pop' when Zeus twisted his neck earlier on

BUExperience: Basically just one long commercial for Survivor Series. And not a very good one, at that. So, not like a Super Bowl commercial. Or, well, that depends on what Super Bowl, I suppose. Certainly not on par with Super Bowl commercials from twenty years ago. But, probably exactly on par with today’s shitty Super Bowl commercials, in the era where mainstream companies all act like Bobby Moynihan’s character in Sisters, laser focused on going viral all year round to the point where they’ve got nothing left come Super Bowl Sunday.

So, yeah, this episode was like a 2016 Super Bowl commercial, basically