WWF Survivor Series (November 2001)

From Greensboro, North Carolina; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Paul Heyman

Opening WWF European Title Match: Christian v Al Snow: Snow wrestles him down into a headlock early, and hits a quick shoulderblock for two when Christian tries escaping. Schoolboy gets two, and a pumphandle-side suplex follows, so Christian grabs a handful of tights to dump his challenger into the corner. Christian with a Russian legsweep for two, and he grounds the Snowman with a chinlock. Snow pops up with trapping headbutts, but Christian cuts him off with a northern lights suplex for two. Snow gives the trapping headbutts another go, and adds a superkick this time for two, then hits a sitout-powerbomb for two. Christian returns fire with an inverted DDT, but spends too long gloating, and gets cradled for two. Al with a flying bodypress, but the champ rolls through for two, so Al punishes him with the SnowPlow for two when Christian gets a foot on the rope. Al misses it, however, and starts celebrating before the bell rings, allowing Christian to hit the Unprettier at 6:31. Got really dull and punchy-kicky when Christian was working him over, but decent overall. *

William Regal v Tajiri: Tajiri goes at him with kicks right away, but walks into the Regal Roll, and William blasts him with a series of knees. Tajiri responds by dropkicking the knee (nice), then gets Regal into the ropes for a Tarantula, followed by a handspring elbow for two. Wow, we're like a minute into this and Regal is already bleeding hardway from some stiff shots. Regal tosses him, but Tajiri gets his head caught between the ropes in the process, and looks to be done, but he manages to escape a double-underhook powerbomb, and roundhouse kicks Regal. Another one, but Regal ducks it, and the double-underhook powerbomb finishes for real at 2:58. Wow, that actually made the Rebellion match seem like an Iron Man in comparison. ¼*

Unification Match: WWF Intercontinental Title v WCW United States Title: Test v Edge: What a retarded way to do dream Unification matches. As a kid, I could only dream that the US Title and Intercontinental Title would be unified. Then, it finally happens... with Edge representing the US Title. And it's not like I have anything against Edge, but he in no way represents WCW. What a fucking rip-off. Anyway, a fight over the initial lockup ends in a series of stalemates, so Edge throws a bodypress at him for two, but walks into a clothesline, and ends up on the outside. Test follows to slam him across the rail a couple of times, but takes a hiptoss on the way back in, and a dropkick puts him on the outside. Edge is on him with a nice baseball slide, and back in, hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Test dodges another press with a stungun, then levels him with a lariat to turn the tide. Into the corner, Test hammers away in a Nash-like fashion (elbowsmashes, bootchoke, hair flip - all the hits!), then snapmares Edge into a chinlock. Edge escapes and hits a 2^nd rope dropkick for two, but walks into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Edge tries to recover with a 2^nd rope bodypress, but Test dodges, and a reversal sequence on the top rope ends in Test trying a flying bodypress, but getting dropkicked out of the air. Both guys stagger up for an Edge-won slugfest, and he unloads a spinheel kick, followed by a bulldog for two. Edge-o-Matic gets two, but he walks into a well executed spear, and Test hits a pumphandle-slam for two. Powerbomb, so Edge counters into a rana, and hits a spear of his own for two. Impaler, but Test counters into a full-nelson slam - countered again by Edge into a victory cradle to unify the titles at 11:20. Decent match, with some nice chain sequences, and good effort from both guys. A waste of a dream unification match, sure, but there's no sense in dwelling on it. ** ¼

Unification Cage Match: WWF Tag Team Title v WCW World Tag Team Title: The Hardy Boyz v The Dudley Boyz: Again, why bother if you're going to use to teams you already had under contract before WCW collapsed? Hell, these two teams had already wrestled each other ad nauseam while WCW was still actively signing new talent - not to mention two WrestleMania matches, and a handful of other major pay per view bouts including Royal Rumbles and SummerSlams. Hell, even since the Invasion began, we've seen this match a bunch of times on pay per view. Do they not get how 'dream matches' work? Because Dudleys/Hardys part XXVIII is not a draw, even with the added gimmicks. Would it really have killed them to bring in the Natural Born Thrillers or KroniK, not job them out in five minutes, and build THEM as the WCW champions for a unification match? Whatever, I'm done wasting brain cells on the Invasion... it's not like anyone was using any while booking it to begin with anyway. So, the match. Dudley's destroy Matt early, but it quickly falls apart as they abandon tags, and both teams brawl. The Dudley's blast Jeff with a cool doomsday device, but that's about where the coolness ends, as it turns into an aimless brawl with the same rehashed spots we've seen literally dozens of times before from them against each other. Eventually, Stacy Keibler bribes the outside referee with explicit promises of anal to get him to open the door, and she passes the Dudley's a table. Can't really blame the guy there. The table backfires and Matt escapes, but that doesn't end the match - just leaves Jeff alone with both opponents. He manages to climb, but stupidly turns around to Swanton D-Von through a table from the top of the cage... which promptly misses. Idiot. Not surprisingly, the Dudley's pin him off of it at 15:46. Been there, done that. ¾*

22-Man Immunity Battle Royal: Winner gets a year of immunity from being fired, regardless of which side wins the Invasion. We've got Albert, Bradshaw, Faarooq, Perry Saturn, Billy Gunn, Chuck Palumbo, Funaki, Crash Holly, Spike Dudley, Test, Shawn Stasiak, Diamond Dallas Page, Raven, Steven Richards, the Hurricane, Lance Storm, Tommy Dreamer, Justin Credible, Billy Kidman, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr, and Tazz. And yada yada yada, Test eliminates Billy Gunn to win it at 7:41. DUD

WWF Women's Title Six-Pack Challenge Match: Trish Stratus v Mighty Molly v Ivory v Jazz v Jacqueline: This is for the vacant title, and Jazz is a surprise entrant, though I don't think the crowd even knows who she is. Not that I blame them, until this very moment I thought she and Jacqueline were the same person - no lie. Like, seriously, seeing them both on screen at the same time is blowing my mind. And yeah yeah, before you go calling me a racist, remember that I'm the same dude that thought John Cena and Channing Tatum were the same guy for years. Anyway, Trish with a bulldog on Ivory at 4:23. DUD

Main Event: Survivor Series Elimination Match: Team WWF (The Rock, Chris Jericho, Big Show, The Undertaker, and Kane) v The Alliance (Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, and Shane McMahon): Less a dream match when really only one of these guys is actually from WCW, and considering we could have seen pretty much this exact match at Survivor Series 2000 or 1999. Rock starts with Austin, and they trade punches as poor Jericho looks like a midget standing on the apron next to the other guys on his team. Both guys trade Thesz presses and pointed elbowdrops, until Steve passes to Booker T to takeover - and promptly takes a jumping clothesline. Tag to Jericho, and he flapjacks Booker, but then stupidly dropkicks him right into his home corner for a tag to RVD. Criss cross goes Chris' way with a spinheel kick, and a hanging vertical suplex quickly follows. Dropkick misses, however, and Rob hits a cartwheel moonsault for two. Rana, but Jericho counters into the Walls, so Shane breaks it up. Tags to Kane and Angle, and Kane smacks him with a cross corner clothesline, but a vertical suplex is countered into a German version by the Olympian. Kane with a sidewalk slam to setup a flying clothesline for two, and he passes to brother 'Taker. And apparently Kurt's been forgetting to shake hands backstage again, because 'Taker tosses him around like a jobber until he passes to Booker. He gets the same treatment, including the ropewalk forearm. WCW guys get to have all the fun! 'Taker works the arm for a bit, and hits a short-clothesline for two - saved by Shane for the dozenth time. That allows the tag to Austin, and he knocks a distracted Undertaker into the corner for some mudhole stomping, but misses a straddling ropechoke, and Undertaker give him his own ropewalk - nearly slipping and breaking his neck in the process. That would have been quite the whoopsie. The Alliance gang up to slow Undertaker down, but only briefly, as an Angle swinging neckbreaker gets two, and 'Taker starts slugging away again. DDT, and he passes to Show. Show press-slams Van Dam then goes ballistic on the whole Alliance, but Kurt manages to sneak up with an Olympic Slam, and Booker comes in with the axekick. RVD with the Five Star Frogsplash, and Shane with a flying elbowdrop to send Show home at 12:42. Wow, who did he piss off backstage? Everyone gets sick of Shane's antics (he'd broken up every WWF pinfall attempt thus far), and Rock just destroys him to wipe the smirk off his face. Everyone has their fun, as Kane chokeslams him, Undertaker delivers the Tombstone, and Jericho hits a lionsault to send McMahon home at 14:31 - no one from the Alliance bothering to save. Well booked there, as McMahon's meddling needed a satisfying payoff. Angle comes in and tries overhead suplexing Jericho, but ends up taking a diving forearm and a butterfly backbreaker for two. Unfortunately, Austin takes a cheapshot to stop the effort, and Booker tags in with three consecutive bodyslams and a kneedrop. Over to RVD with a series of kicks in the corner, and a spear, but Jericho sunset flips him for two, and tags Kane. He unloads clotheslines by the barrelful, and hits a powerslam, then randomly pulls Booker in for a big boot. That backfires when the distraction allows RVD to kick him in the head, and he adds the Frogsplash. Booker with the Harlem Sidekick to trigger a brawl between both teams, but Van Dam stays focused, and missile dropkicks the retard at 18:20. Undertaker comes in for revenge, beating down the entire Alliance team for an extended period without breaking a sweat or needing any backup, but eventually takes the Stunner to finish him at 20:03. Holy shit, how insecure was the guy in 2001? That was seriously some mid-90s Hogan-level insecurity there. If the Alliance changed their name to 'Dungeon of Doom' and Undertaker started wearing yellow underpants, I'd swear we time traveled. The dust settles on Rocky and Booker next, and Booker nearly decapitates him with a Harlem Sidekick, but walks into a DDT - Angle breaking up the cover. Both guys stagger up, and Rock manages to drop him like a Samoan for two - Austin saving. Booker tries to capitalize, but ends up getting whipped into his teammates, and Rock schoolboys him at 22:33. RVD's in, but a flying moonsault is thwarted when Rock simply grabs him off the top, and drives him to the mat for two. Neat visual there. Tag to Jericho, and he charges the dazed Van Dam with a dropkick, then hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Bulldog sets up the lionsault, but RVD dodges, and spinkicks him. Splitlegged moonsault, but Jericho lifts the knees, and the Breakdown sends him packing at 24:51. Everyone decides to brawl now, with Jericho facing Angle in the ring, and Rock slugging it out with Austin on the floor. Steve manages to post Rock with a slingshot into the post as Kurt ties Chris up on the mat, then with Rock out of the picture, Steve hops back up onto the apron and tags in fresh - superplexing Jericho for two. Northern lights suplex gets two, and it's back over to Angle as they cut the ring in half. Jericho manages to fire off a hangman’s clothesline at Austin to allow the tag to Rock, but Angle gets one too! Rock snaps off his overhead suplex first, though, and then legwhips the Olympian into the Sharpshooter at 31:53. Rock refuses to let off, so Austin breaks it up, but Jericho is there with chops and a springboard bodypress - rolled through by Austin for two! Thesz press, but Chris tries countering into the Walls, so Steve rakes the eyes and reverses - only for Jericho to block. Austin tries going to the middle rope for an axehandle, then proves he learned more from Ted DiBiase than he let on - taking a gutpunch on the way down, and selling it with a somersault. Lionsault, but Austin lifts the knees to block for two. Superplex, but Chris blocks, and missile dropkicks him for two. Schoolboy, but Steve manages to counter into a cradle on the mat, and Jericho's done at 34:32. Wow, that Austin/Jericho portion was just fantastic! So, down to Rock and Austin again, right back where we started  from. Rock quickly manages the spinebuster on a worn Austin, but then Jericho suddenly decides to turn on his team with a Breakdown - thus leaving both men down for the count. Austin gets two out of that deal, so Jericho decides to come back to finish the job, but here's Undertaker to stop that effort. Watch out, Chris! We don't know what color underwear he has on! He could be deadly! Steve is fatigued, but manages to get up and stomp Rock into a pile of the people's jelly, then tosses him over the top for a brawl on the floor. I'm relatively certain that any match between them that doesn't have a brawl on the floor will automatically lead to the universe imploding and kangaroos taking over China. No idea how that last part ties in, but it's not exactly a scientific theory anyway. Back in, Steve hits a spinebuster to setup a sharpshooter of his own, but Rocky makes the ropes. Austin decides to grab the title belt to finish him good, but Rock spinebusters him to block, and slaps on his sharpshooter – Steve also making the ropes. Rock decides to finish him with the Stunner, but WCW referee Nick Patrick pulls WWF referee Earl Hebner out at the count of two, and decides to takeover. Maybe he was just really late? The distraction allows Austin to Bottom Rock for two, but decides to take his frustration out by decking Patrick. Okay. Stunner, but now we have no referee, since Austin is a fucking moron. Cue Angle to run back down and clobber Austin with the title belt, and Rock Bottom's Steve for the win at 44:51.
Survivor: The Rock
Would a clean ending have killed them? Pretty much zero psychology, but lots of fun little mini-matches, excellent pacing for forty-five minutes, and a satisfying blowoff - even if it was an unsatisfying angle. ***

BUExperience: You’d think booking a WWF versus WCW show where most of the titles are unified for the first time in history would be a can’t-miss idea, but then all you need is a handy copy of this show to prove how wrong you are. The main event is good, but not ‘carry a pay per view’ good, and the only other worthwhile match is the Intercontinental/United States unification, which was disappointing on so many other levels that it negates almost all of the ring work. What a botched show.

DUD