WWF SummerSlam 1993 (Version II)

Original Airdate: August 30, 1993

From Auburn Hills, Michigan; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan

Opening Match: Ted DiBiase v Razor Ramon: Ted attacks while Razor is getting his bling off, but Ramon fights him off, and hits a backdrop. Fallaway slam follows, and DiBiase bails to the outside - finally allowing Razor to get his vest off. Back in, Ted turns the tables on a lockup in the corner, and fires away with chops, but a cross corner whip is reversed, and Ramon sends him over the top with a clothesline. Razor uses the top rope to force DiBiase back inside, but Ramon gets suckered into the corner when Ted begs off, and DiBiase takes over after choking him down. Backbreaker gets two, and a clothesline is worth two. Snapmare sets up a chinlock, but Razor powers up, so DiBiase throws a knee, then adds a swinging neckbreaker to but the brakes on a comeback. Vertical suplex sets up the Million Dollar Dream, but Razor blocks, so Ted tries softening him up some more, with a turnbuckles smash that sends Ramon to the outside. DiBiase uses the time to undo a turnbuckle pad, and when Razor beats the count, Ted tries to send him into it, but gets reversed! That knocks him silly, and the Razor's Edge finishes at 7:32. And, with little fanfare, thus marks the end of DiBiase's in-ring career, though he would continue to work some dates in Japan until the end of the year, and then of course return as a manager in 1994. The match was all really basic stuff, but it worked for what it was. * ½ (Original rating: * ½)

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Steiner Brothers v The Heavenly Bodies: The challengers take a page from DiBiase's book in the opener, and attack before the champs can get their gear off. They knock Scott Steiner to the outside to allow them to work Rick Steiner over with a few tandem moves, before Scott comes back in, and the Steiner's clean house! Dust settles on Scott and Tom Prichard, and Scotty hits a press-slam. That brings Jimmy Del Ray back in without a tag, but Scott dispatches him with a backdrop, and Rick tags in to blast Tom with a short-clothesline, and give Jimmy a bodyslam - both challengers bailing. Dust settles back on Scott and Tom, and Steiner delivers an inverted atomic drop. Jimmy comes in without a tag AGAIN, but this time they are able to overwhelm Scott, and Prichard bulldogs him. Hey, perseverance! They dump Scott to the outside, where Del Ray delivers a flying somersault senton off the apron (called a 'moonsault' by the announcers), and the Bodies start cutting the ring in half. The camera crew has been missing stuff left and right in this one, and it's really annoying. Jimmy tries a floatover DDT, but Scott counters with a suplex - only for Tom to cutoff the tag! He tries a backdrop, but Scott counters with a tigerbomb, and there's the tag to Ricky! He's a doghouse of fire, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on! Rick with a pair of bodyslams, and Scott with a pair of dropkicks to send Prichard to the outside, but Tom's back just in time to help Del Ray kick out of a flying bulldog. He backdrops Scott out of the ring to allow for a cheap shot to Rick with Jim Cornette's tennis racket, but it only gets two! Jimmy goes up for a flying moonsault press, but Scott pushes his brother out of the way, and Prichard eats it! Frankensteiner for Jimmy, and the champs retain at 9:28. I don't think anyone actually bought the Bodies as threats to the title (I know I sure didn't as a kid), but the match itself was good, with hard work from both teams. I really shortchanged this one the first time. *** ½ (Original rating: *)

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Shawn Michaels v Mr. Perfect: I never got why Michaels used to wear peace signs all over his outfit during this period. Like, did someone in wardrobe get the wrong memo, and think the character was supposed to be a hippy dippy fella? And don't even get me started on the cow splotches. Feeling out process to start, as they try all sorts of complex looking stuff to try and make this come off as the classic it was hyped as, but it's falling very flat. Perfect controls after Shawn misses a few dives off the top, and holds the champ in an armbar. Shawn escapes and tries a criss cross, but a dropkick misses, and Perfect sends him over the top with a catapult! Nice bump there. Perfect follows out, but Diesel distracts him, and Michaels delivers a superkick out there. Flying axehandle off of the apron follows, and inside, Shawn goes to work with a series of elbowdrops. Cross corner whip doesn't even trigger a somersault bump from Perfect tonight, which is weird. Shawn with a backbreaker submission, but Perfect escapes, and a criss cross ends in the challenger delivering a dropkick. He mounts his comeback with a backdrop and a swinging kneelift, followed by an inverted atomic drop for two. Clothesline gets two, but Shawn blocks a backslide, so Perfect turns it into the Perfect-Plex! It connects, but Diesel pulls him out of the ring at two, and Perfect is counted out at 11:18. Kinda funny that they were basically promising an all time classic, yet this wasn't even either guys best match that year - or even that summer. It wasn't even the best match on this show. A major disappointment in every sense, down to the finish. This all felt very forced. * ¼ (Original rating: * ½)

Irwin R. Schyster v 1-2-3 Kid: Kid looks like he poured a gallon of water over his head before the match just to make weight. That would certainly explain the hair, anyway. Criss cross to start, ending in Kid hitting a spinheel kick for two. IRS slows it down, and manages a pop-up flapjack, but another criss cross goes badly when Kid dropkicks him, so IRS backelbows him down again. He tosses Kid over the top, but using the top rope to slingshot Kid back in backfires when Kid schoolboys him for two. Irwin cuts him off with another backelbow, and an elbowdrop follows for two. Abdominal stretch, but Kid escapes, so IRS goes to a chinlock. These two are wrestling matches on two different planets here. Kid escapes and delivers a cross corner whip, but the flying moonsault press only gets two. Magistral cradle gets two, and a leg-feed enzuigiri gets two. Another criss cross, but this time Irwin blasts him with the Write Off for the pin at 5:44. Huh? Did they have plans for IRS, or something? Because Money Inc was done, and he was basically a JTTS guy for the rest of his run, while Kid was supposedly getting pushed. Kid was working, IRS was painting by numbers. * ¼ (Original rating: *)

Bret Hart v Doink the Clown: This is originally meant to be Hart versus Jerry Lawler (stemming from Lawler's attack on Hart when he won the King of the Ring two months prior), but poor Lawler comes out on crutches and goes into a long, funny story about how he got into a tragic car accident and can’t wrestle - with Bobby Heenan hilariously backing him up on commentary. Todd Pettengill's side eye during the whole speech is pretty funny, too. The end result is that Lawler offers up court jester Doink the Clown to take his place, and Hart accepts 'cause he's already got a hard-on, and he might as well use it. More hilarity on the outside before the bell, as Doink throws a bucket of water at Bruce Hart at ringside, in rib. Apparently Owen Hart (also at ringside, right beside Bruce), warned Doink beforehand that if even a drop got on Owen, he'd be pranking Doink for the rest of his life. And not a drop got on Owen, so you know guys took his pranking abilities seriously. Bret attacks the Clown on the outside, and brings him in, hammering away. Clothesline sends Doink over the top, and Hart follows out to send him into the post, before bringing things back inside. Doink begs off, but Bret unloads on him in the corner, and a big right hand sends the Clown back to the outside. Lawler gives him some encouragement, and Doink is able to get to the top rope, but Bret quickly crotches him up there, and brings him down with a nasty release facebuster. That looked awesome. Bret with a pointed elbowdrop and a headbutt, but he makes the mistake of going after Lawler on the outside, and Doink jumps him. Doink sends Bret into the steps out there, and he delivers a flying axehandle on the way back inside. Sloppy kneebreaker follows, and Doink goes to work on the leg by bashing it into the ring post a few times. STF is applied, but Bret escapes, so Doink fires a knee to cut off a charge. Elbowdrop follows for two, and he slaps on the Stump Puller, but gets caught using the ropes. Bodyslam sets up the Whoopee Cushion, but Hart lifts his knees to block! Well, yeah, that'll do it. He mounts his comeback, and a Russian legsweep sets up the 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop. Sharpshooter looks to finish, but Lawler makes a miraculous recovery, and whacks Bret with his crutch for the DQ at 9:05!  Lawler goes ballistic on him with it, but his pranks backfire when WWF President Jack Tunney enters the picture, and tells Lawler to showdown with Hart in a match then and there, or face permanent suspension. The match was nothing special, but the angle was fantastic, and people still glowingly talk about it today. * ¼ (Original rating: * ¼)

Bret Hart v Jerry Lawler: As soon as Tunney's decision is announced (complete with brilliant facial expressions from the King), Hart blitzes him in the aisle. He beats Jerry all the way down to the ring, and inside for a backdrop! Bret with a legdrop, and he teases the Sharpshooter, but changes course - instead headbutting Lawler in the royal jewels! Jerry bails, but Bret follows out with the crutch, and does some damage - only for Jerry to get hold of it, and return fire! Jerry viciously chokes him with the crutch at ringside, then crotches him on the post (drawing a loud groan from the fans at ringside), before bringing things back inside. Lawler is such a master of working a crowd. Jerry goes to town with the crutch again, but takes a mulekick, and Bret obliterates him in the corner! Backdrop hits, as does a backbreaker for two. Piledriver sets up a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop, and it's Sharpshooter time at 6:32! However, Bret decides that Lawler hasn't suffered enough, and keeps the hold applied after the bell - ignoring the referee’s repeated warnings until the decision is ultimately reversed! As a pair of matches, it's nothing, but this angle is still talked about today for a reason. This whole half hour was just tremendously entertaining. * ½ (Original rating: *)

Marty Jannetty v Ludvig Borga: Borga goes to work with body shots in the corner at the bell, allowing Marty to get in some selling. Cross corner whip and a clothesline hit, followed by a cool pop-up gut punch. Borga keeps unloading, but an avalanche misses, and Marty tries mounting a comeback, but quickly gets cut off with a clothesline. Jannetty tries a sunset flip, but that gets clipped as well, and Borga works a bearhug. Marty escapes, and makes failed comeback attempt number three, this one ending in Borga sending him flipping through the air with a clothesline. Marty manages a pair of superkicks to finally get some traction, but a 2^nd rope flying bodypress is caught, and Borga slams him, before finishing with a torture rack at 5:15. Complete, total, and unapologetic squash. Boring one, too. Hard to believe Jannetty was just coming off a brief run with Intercontinental Title. ¼* (Original rating: ¼*)

Rest in Peace Match: Undertaker v Giant Gonzalez: That's fancy talk for a No Disqualification match - which they don't even bother clarifying until the ring introductions. Can't really blame them, since at least promising a Rest in Peace match sounds mysterious, and potentially interesting. Undertaker attacks right away, and blitzes Gonzalez into a chokehold in the corner, but Giant fights him off. Gonzalez hammers away with his shitty forearms, but Undertaker returns fire with a jumping clothesline - triggering Giant's equally shitty selling. Gonzalez dumps him to the outside, and he follows for a brawl out there. I use the term 'brawl' in the most liberal sense of the word. Giant uses a chair in such an obviously phony way that you can practically see people in the front row chuckling, then whips 'Taker into the steps. Inside, Gonzalez keeps pounding, and a corner whip hits. Despite the blistering pace, Paul Bearer suddenly appears (he'd been out for a few months to sell a beat down) with a wreath at ringside, and he takes out Harvey Wippleman in order to get back the urn the heels had stolen during the aforementioned beat down. Gonzalez notices this, and starts lumbering towards Bearer, but given how slow he is, I don't find it especially threatening. But then, Bearer is fat, so he's slow too! The perfect match! He doesn't do anything anyway, just find of glaring down at Paul for a while, until Undertaker gets up, and throws a series of clotheslines. Flying clothesline finishes at 8:04. Lame. Like, Gonzalez is supposed to be some unstoppable monster, but a few clotheslines finish him? It's no DQ! Couldn't they book a weapon, or something? The urn, perhaps? Still in negative stars, but an improvement over the WrestleMania match, at least! -**** (Original rating: -** ½)

Six-Man Tag Team Match: Bam Bam Bigelow and The Headshrinkers v Tatanka and The Smoking Gunns: The babyfaces charge, but all get knocked down like bowling pins at the bell. Dust settles on Bam Bam and Tatanka, and Bigelow delivers a shoulderblock, but Tatanka responds in kind, and adds a dropkick. Backdrop follows, but a criss cross ends in a double knockout when both guys try bodypresses at the same time! That's a neat spot, that these two always made sure to get in whenever they'd work together. Tags made to Fatu and Billy Gunn, and Billy blitzes him, hitting a flying inverted bulldog, but running into trouble in the heel corner. They fail to cut the ring in half, though, and we end up with Samu and Bart Gunn in. Bart with a bodypress for two, but Samu escapes an armbar, and backelbows him down. Samu with a facebuster, and he passes over to Bigelow for a dropkick for two, as the heels cut the ring in half on Bart. Bam Bam misses an avalanche to allow the hot tag to Tatanka, and he chops away on Bigelow ahead of hitting a bodyslam and a DDT! Flying bodypress gets two, but Tatanka argues the count, and gets clobbered. Bigelow with an enzuigiri, and he passes to Samu to deliver a 2^nd rope flying headbutt for two, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on! The heels clear the Gunns out of the ring to beat on Tatanka three-on-one (with Vince incredulously noting that "this isn't the Survivor Series," as if triple teaming is legal at Survivor Series), but an attempt at a cool three prong flying headbutt misses, and Tatanka schoolboys Samu at 11:15. Cool finish. The match was nothing special, but fine. And necessary, following that last bowel movement of a match. * ¾ (Original rating: *)

Main Event: WWF Title Match: Yokozuna v Lex Luger: Aaron Neville joins us to sing the Star Spangled Banner beforehand, and Randy Savage comes out to personally introduce Luger. He'd have been a welcome addition to this card in a wrestling capacity. Mr. Fuji tries to Pearl Harbor Luger during the stare down, but he gets chased off, and Lex dodges Yokozuna's attempt to capitalize on the distraction as well! Luger with a backelbow, but he stupidly tries a rollup, and gets clobbered. Turns out to be a strategy, however, as that suckers Yokozuna into trying a legdrop, but Luger gets out of the way - getting the monster off of his feet early. Lex with an elbowdrop for two, so Yokozuna bodyslams him, but misses his own try at an elbowdrop, and Luger unloads in the corner. Ten-punch count, so Fuji tries the old salt to the eyes, but Luger blocks! He slugs away, but a bodyslam attempt fails, and Yokozuna superkicks him down. Headbutt sends Luger to the floor, as Yoko tries to end it with a countout. Lex makes it to the apron in time, so Yokozuna headbutts him back to the floor, and this time follows out to choke his challenger. Watching Yoko get in and out of the ring is its own form of entertainment. Yokozuna delivers an avalanche against the post out there, but an attempt to use a chair misses, and Luger takes him back inside for a 2^nd rope flying axehandle. Yoko stays vertical, so Luger goes all the way up for another one - still not enough. Back to the top, Lex dives with a flying clothesline to finally get the champion off of his feet, but it only gets two! Running forearm smash to the back of the head gets two, but a criss cross results in a double knockout spot. That allows Fuji to toss the salt bucket in (with it landing out of place, and giving us the hilarious visual of the big fatty running after it before it falls out of the ring), and Yokozuna blasts Luger with it for a dramatic two! Yoko keeps coming with chops, and a belly-to-belly suplex gets two. Saito suplex is worth two, and Yoko snapmares him down for a nervehold. Wow, fifteen minutes in, and that's the first resthold. That's quite impressive for Yokozuna. I mean, both of his WrestleMania IX matches combined didn't go fifteen minutes, and he definitely needed the nerveholds there. Luger escapes, both another bodyslam attempt goes badly, with Yokozuna toppling him for two! Legdrop gets two, so Yoko decides to get 'er done with the Banzi Drop, but Lex rolls out of the way! He doesn't have the gas to follow up, however, and Yokozuna unloads turnbuckle smashes - only to miss an avalanche! That allows Luger to hit the bodyslam, and he pulls down the pad for the running forearm smash! He gets all of it, but it knocks Yokozuna to the floor, and we have a countout at 17:58. Couldn't he have at least tried to get him back inside? I mean, yeah, Fuji and Jim Cornette were distracting him, but still. That finish was so bizarre that it (coupled with the big celebration after the bell) actually inspired rumors that Yoko was supposed to be the count, but messed up. Nope, they actually booked it that way. A lot of their later matches (even the high profile ones, like WrestleMania X) were terrible, but this one was quite alright, with good timing, and Luger setting the tempo for the bulk of the match. ** ¾ (Original rating: **)

BUExperience: WrestleMania IX gets all the attention, but was this show really any better? It’s certainly got its share of bad finishes, its share of weird booking, and disappointments galore, that’s for sure. The only thing anyone really remembers about this one today the Hart/Lawler saga, anyway. And, while that was certainly entertaining, this is a pretty forgettable show that you can pretty safely skip.

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