WWE Starrcade (November 2018)

Original Airdate: November 25, 2018 (taped November 24)

From Cincinnati, Ohio; Your Hosts are Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton

We open with Elias in the ring, doing his shtick with the guitar. That leads to Ric Flair coming out to join him, and Ric is not looking good. He's not even 70 yet, but he looks like he's 85. I guess that hard living catches up with you eventually. Anyway, this leads to Nia Jax, Alicia Fox, Mickie James, and Tamina coming out, and Flair looks like he's about to shit his pants with glee for some reason. Well, not 'with glee,' he'll be shitting with shit, but the shit will be flowing due to glee. Just to clarify. So Elias keeps doing his shtick with the others now clapping along, until Nia decides she wants to sing too, and that goes very badly. But Alicia likes it, and expresses her glee in the form of dance. Elias tells her to shut up, but since this isn't 1999, nothing else goes down, and Elias calls out 'four of his friends' to deal with them instead. What a weird way to open the show. Could they really not think of any better way to get Flair on the show?

Eight-Woman Tag Team Match: Bayley, Sasha Banks, Ember Moon, and Dana Brooke v Nia Jax, Alicia Fox, Mickie James, and Tamina: I like the house show lighting, and that the ring/crowd is mic'd like a house show as well. Gives it a unique feel, like we're watching an MSG show from 1991. Elias' four friends dominate Mickie to start, but she manages to tag out to Tamina to avoid Bayley, so Bayley just dominates her instead. She tries a rollup, but Tamina tags to Nia to block, and they both barrel into Bayley with shoulderblocks for two. The heels cut the ring in half on Bayley, but she slips away long enough to tag Sasha, and Roseanne Barr the door! That leads to a sequence where everyone trades dives in the ring, ending in Nia missing a charge on Banks, and getting hit with a flying elbowdrop from Bayley. That allows Sasha to get Fox in the Bank Statement, and we're out at 6:35. Basically background noise disguised as a match. ¼*

It's time for MizTV (with Miz!), and he's here to talk about Starrcade with special guest Rey Mysterio. I know he wrestled at several Starrcade events, but when I think 'Starrcade,' he's like, maybe the fifteenth guy I think of. Even from that era. Oh, and also with WWE United States Champion Shinsuke Nakamura who... watched Starrcade, as a kid...? They end up spending more time bickering about Survivor Series than talking about Starrcade though, leading to Nakamura attacking Mysterio to set up...

WWE United States Title Match: Shinsuke Nakamura v Rey Mysterio: Nakamura capitalizes on his sneak attack with a gourdbuster, but Rey counters the follow-up with a victory cradle for two, so Nakamura kicks him in the head. Nakamura tries a bodyslam on the apron, but Rey dumps him to the outside for a baseball slide, and he dives off the apron - only to land on Miz instead. Rey uses another dive on the way back in, connecting with Nakamura this time, and it's 619 time - only for Miz to attack Rey for the DQ at 2:11. Miz and Nakamura go to work, but Rusev runs in to make the save, and it's tag team action time! DUD

Shinsuke Nakamura and Miz v Rey Mysterio and Rusev: Nakamura and Miz accept, but then decide to walk out, so Rey and Rusev drag them back. 619 time for Miz, but Nakamura manages to save, and the dust settles on Nakamura and Mysterio. Nakamura bootchokes him in the corner ahead of a cravat, and a kneedrop gets him two. They cut the ring in half on Rey, but he shakes Nakamura off long enough to tag, and Rusev comes in hot. He hits a spinheel kick on Miz, followed by a roundhouse kick for two, as the crowd politely nods along. Accolade, but Nakamura stops it, allowing Miz the Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey dives in at two. He gives the heels a double 619 (1238?), and Rusev kicks Miz in the head at 6:10. Man, this show is becoming a bigger waste of time by the minute. DUD

Cage Match: AJ Styles v Samoa Joe: This is the last match airing, though it's not even the main event of the show. Joe takes control right away, but AJ blocks a toss into the cage, and unloads on him. Styles with a dropkick, as the announcers continue listing off old wrestlers at rate that makes me think they must be trying to set some sort of record. And when they run out of old Starrcade matches to reference, that doesn't even slow them down, as they just start talking about Shawn Michaels without missing a beat. Joe takes over, as the crowd falls asleep out in the warm darkness of the arena. Joe with a kneedrop for two, and an avalanche/enzuigiri combo gets two. Joe tosses him into the cage, and he looks like he's on the verge of falling asleep as well. He eventually tries a charge, but Styles ducks, and Joe runs himself into the cage. AJ uses a springboard inverted DDT for two, but a dive gets caught in a suplex, as the announcers hype this up like we're seeing an all time classic that's going to be talked about for years to come. It really won't be. Style Clash, but Joe blocks, and hits a senton splash for two. Muscle buster, but AJ blocks, and manages to clip the leg. He crawls for the door, but Joe cuts him off, so AJ grabs the Calf Crusher for the win at 11:56. Really? 'Cause it felt like an hour. Ric Flair used to have better matches with the toilets at the Greensboro Coliseum than this shit. DUD

BUExperience: The Inessential Starrcade

DUD