WWF RAW Championship Friday (September 6, 1996)

Original Airdate: September 6, 1996 (taped August 19)

From Wheeling, West Virginia; Your Hosts are Kevin Kelly and Jim Ross

WWF Intercontinental Title Tournament Quarterfinal Match: Sycho Sid v Hunter Hearst Helmsley: Sid shoves Helmsley straight out of the ring during the initial lockup, as we take a look at footage of Mr. Perfect stealing Hunter's valets away at various events over the last few weeks. Sid knocks Helmsley to the outside again, so Hunter starts stalling, and manages a cheap shot. He tries to capitalize, but runs into a big boot, and Sid unloads. Backdrop, but Helmsley is able to counter with a swinging neckbreaker, and this time finds a pair of kneedrops before Sid can recover. Sid starts no-selling after that though, and he drops Hunter with a chokeslam, as Mr. Perfect wanders down the aisle. Powerbomb finishes HHH at 3:20, as Perfect makes off with the valet again. Honestly, I'd be honored if Mr. Perfect wanted to steal my girl. This was pretty much a total squash. And this was AFTER that 'punishment' period for the 'curtain call' had ended! ¼*

Ahmed Johnson is at home, still recovering from his kidney injury. That dude had the best collection of bathrobes

WWF Intercontinental Title Tournament Quarterfinal Match: Marc Mero v Steve Austin: Brian Pillman sits in for commentary here. And speaking of commentary, how the hell is Kevin Kelly the lead announcer for these tapings, over Jim Ross?! Unless it was a subtle part of the build-up for Jim's upcoming bitterness angle? Because that's about the only way that could make a lick of sense to me. They size each other up a bit to start, until Austin makes the mistake of mocking Mero, and gets decked. They trade hammerlocks from there, and Steve tries for the Stunner at one point, but Marc is in the ropes before he can drop him. Mero with a sunset flip for two, reversed by Austin for two. Rollup, but Steve blocks, so Mero uses a dropkick for two, and Austin bails. Steve stalls a bit to kill the momentum, and back in, he manages to sucker Mero with a cheap shot. To the mat, but Marc is ready with a headscissors to take control, and a reversal sequence ends in Mero hooking a backslide for two. Small package gets two, but Marc runs into a (sloppy) hotshot as they criss cross, and Austin covers for two. Steve with an elbowdrop, as they name drop Bret Hart on commentary about a dozen times in the span of a minute. Steve with a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop, but Mero reverses a turnbuckle smash, and hits a corner clothesline. Marc with a ten-punch count and a backdrop, followed by a flying axehandle for two. The comeback continues with a kneelift for two, so Austin dumps him to the outside to buy time, and then shoves the referee in the way to block a sunset flip! Stunner, but unfortunately for Steve, the referee elects to disqualify him at 6:58. Well, that's unfortunate. Not quite on par with their PPV efforts, but a solid TV match, albeit with a shitty ending. ** ¼

The Footaction Slam of the Week is Sid powerbombing HHH earlier tonight. I don't think I've ever worn the shoe, but clearly the folks at Footaction are nothing if not decisive

Jerry Lawler brings Mark Henry out for an interview, and poor Mark is sweating buckets after just climbing into the ring, to the point where I wouldn't be surprised to find out that he's part Rotunda. Lawler starts off by making a joke about the terror attack at the '96 Olympic games that wouldn't make it past a first draft stage today, but what he really wants to talk about is how mad Jake Roberts is at Mark because Henry stopped Lawler from pouring more booze down his throat at SummerSlam. Poor Mark keeps sweating and sweating as Lawler takes verbal jabs at him, until Lawler decides to challenge him to a match. Henry says no because he hasn't finished his training yet (and is also probably dangerously dehydrated), but Lawler keeps insulting, and it's on!... at some later date

Mankind v Alex Porteau: Hey, it's the Pug! He tries to get fiery with Mankind at the bell, but you can guess how that goes for him. I barely remember him, but he's a pretty good enhancement guy, doing a nice job of bouncing around the ring to sell for Mankind throughout. Mankind works him over, as Ross announces that, according to his sources, both Diesel and Razor Ramon are on their way back to the WWF. "Without a doubt," notes Ross. I've always loved the story Kevin Nash tells about how WCW got wind of that announcement, thought it was real, and promptly signed both Outsiders to bigger deals to make sure they don't go anywhere. Mandible Claw finishes at 2:06, as the announcers hype up Mankind's title shot against Shawn Michaels at In Your House. Just a squash, but at least it had a direction. ¼*

We get highlights of the WWF superstars at the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto, which includes Sycho Sid having a tug-of-war with an elephant, and Roddy Piper making a surprise appearance. This is probably most notable for me because we see Undertaker in his street clothes for the first time I can remember, dressed like his later American Badass character

Bob Backlund is in the ring, and talks about planning to bring in a new wrestler who he will guide to the world title. And this prospect is so great that he's even willing to put aside old grudges to make sure he gets the best training possible, and introduces Iron Sheik as that trainer. Sheik then rambles on for so long that they cut to commercial break mid-sentence. And this is a taped show! Bad segment

Undertaker cuts a pre-taped promo on Goldust. It just doesn't feel the same hearing him spout off creepy supernatural threats after seeing him dressed like a biker earlier. Totally shattered the illusion. It's like seeing Mr. Rogers taking a shit, or something

Shawn Michaels recently posed for Playgirl magazine. And then he gets upset when a character like Goldust is chasing after him? Don't put out the signals if you can't stand the heat, pal.

WWF Title Match: Shawn Michaels v Goldust: This show is only forty five minutes without commercials, and it feels like it's been going on forever already. Goldust tries a sneak attack, but gets tossed over the top as he does. And then the exact same thing happens to him AGAIN on his second try. Goldust blows a kiss at him, causing Shawn to freak out, which again makes me wonder what in the hell he was thinking posing for Playgirl then? Shawn knocks him around the ring for a bit, but telegraphs a move as they criss cross, and Goldust clobbers him. Goldust drops the champion throat-first across the top rope as he takes control, and a cross corner whip sends Shawn over the top! Goldust follows to drop Michaels face-first into the guardrail out there, and he holds him for Marlena to taunt with her cigar smoke. Goldust with a vertical suplex in from the apron for two, and he works a chinlock to ground the champion for a bit. Shawn fights free, but runs into a knee as he tries a charge, and Goldust covers for two. Back to the chinlock, as we get a split screen of Mankind promising a surprise for Michaels. Oh, and Razor and Diesel are totally heading back in, by the way. In case you missed it earlier. Shawn escapes the hold again, but Goldust blocks a rollup, and they end up colliding for a double knockout spot. That leads to a slugfest, and Goldust tries a side suplex, but Shawn back flips out of it. Criss cross ends in Michaels hitting a jumping forearm, and a bodyslam follows. Flying bodypress, but Goldust rolls through for two, as we take a really poorly timed commercial break. Back with Shawn hitting a flying elbowdrop, but Marlena distracts him to prevent the Superkick, and Goldust sneak attacks. Successfully this time! Curtain Call, but Shawn back flips out of it, and a flying moonsault press retains at 9:05. A little slow in the middle, but these two definitely had some chemistry. Afterwards, Mankind runs out to attack, but Shawn bails out before taking any damage, and then just kinda walks away. ** ½

BUExperience: A couple of decent matches, but overall the show felt like it was sleepwalking.