WWF Coliseum Video Collection: Global Warfare (1993) (Version II)

 

WWF Coliseum Video Collection: Global Warfare (1993)

Coliseum Video compilation. The front cover of the tape features Crush press-slamming Doink (complete with a slack-jawed Danny Davis in the background), while the back cover promises to show Yokozuna hugging Jim Duggan in France, as well as songwriting tips from Jimmy Hart

Jimmy Hart hosts from what looks like his own actual home, sitting at his piano to open the tape. I realize Hart had just turned babyface for the first time in his WWF career at this point, but what a terrible choice as a host

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Shawn Michaels v Crush: From UK Rampage in Sheffield England on April 11 1993. Feeling out process to start, with Crush overpowering, and Michaels bumping around. Shawn goes to the eyes to try taking control of things, but runs into a backbreaker during a criss cross, and the champion bails. He suckers Crush into a chase and puts the boots to his challenger from the high ground, but Crush no-sells his stuff, and hits a press-slam! Clothesline sends Shawn over the top, and Shawn milks the count, so Crush drags him back in. A charge in the corner misses, however, and Shawn knocks him back to the outside with a high knee. Shawn quickly follows to send Crush into the guardrail, then the post for good measure - Michaels leaving him out there to take the count. Crush beats it, so Shawn welcomes him with a pair of flying axehandles off the middle, then one off the top. 2nd rope flying elbowdrop follows, but Crush keeps coming, so Shawn tries a DDT for two. He tries grounding the challenger in a chinlock, but Crush powers up, so Shawn throws a superkick - Crush blocking. The challenger mounts a comeback effort, so Shawn bails to the outside, and gets himself intentionally counted out at 8:52. Not a show saving match, but decent. * ½ (Original rating: * ¼)

Yokozuna v Jim Duggan: From Paris France on April 8 1993. We're still close enough to the end of World War II that not only does Duggan get a big babyface pop in France, but a 'USA' chant to boot. Even the announcers are amazed. Yokozuna's got the ultra-rare all black version of his tights on tonight. I think this may be the only time I've ever seen him wear that, actually. Duggan sneaks up on him with an attack, but Yokozuna quickly fights him off, and pounds. Duggan fires back with some blatant closed fists to rock the big man, but he can't knock him over, and Yokozuna goes to the eyes. Backelbow puts Duggan down, and Yokozuna ropechokes him for a bit, which Jim sells on and off. His selling style is so weird, where he's grimacing in pain one moment, and then perfectly fine the next. Legdrop doesn't even warrant a cover from the big man, as he grabs a bearhug instead. Interestingly, the bearhug on the video cover was a completely different match, as both guys are wearing totally different gear here. And, yes, this is the type of pointless shit I notice. Duggan eventually escapes the hold by biting him, so Yokozuna tries an avalanche, but Jim dodges. Series of clotheslines finally takes Yoko off of his feet (to a nice pop), and Duggan goes for the 3-point stance, but Mr. Fuji hooks the ankle! That allows Yokozuna to avalanche him, and the Banzai Drop finishes at 6:39. A nothing match, but it's worth noting how this era of workers knew how to engage a crowd compared to today's crop of guys. The moves weren't as flashy, but they built up simple spots that a crowd could invest in, like the bit where Duggan works the entire match trying to knock him down. Simple stuff like that works every single time. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

Back at home, Jimmy has moved to the sofa, and yeah, this is definitely his actual home. He talks about writing a new theme song on a plane ride, and shows us the lyrics (written on the back of a Hulk Hogan 8x10). I tried to read them, but can't make them out, sadly. I'm really curious what theme that was, and whether or not we ever got to hear it in the WWF, or if it ended up going with him to WCW. Little pointless shit like that legitimately interests me

WWF Tag Team Title Match: Money Inc v The Steiner Brothers: From Barcelona Spain on April 24 1993. Money Inc hold the high ground by wielding Irwin R. Schyster's steel briefcase, so they do a bit where the referee rules that he give up the case, or forfeit the match - and the title. The Steiner’s attack while Money Inc argue the point, and they clean house to kick us off. The dust settles on Ted DiBiase and Rick Steiner to start, and Ted quickly gets control with a headlock following a turnbuckle smash. They have additional cameras, but they're sticking with the hard camera only in the early going here, and it's really annoying, and distracting. Rick fights him off with a belly-to-belly suplex for two, and it's over to Scott Steiner to work the arm - the crowd hot for every bit of it. The challengers take turns working DiBiase's arm, as we finally move off of the hard camera for a moment - though to a weird crane shot that shoots the crowd more than the ring, and then ends up on a fixed shot of the crowd where you can't even see the ring for an extended period of time. The poor announcers seem ready to flip out, and straight-up make fun of the camera man. It's not really his fault, it's the director. Finally back to the ring with Rick dominating IRS, and we've finally switched to normal shooting style, with a mix of angles instead of just the fixed hard camera. Scott snaps Irwin's throat across the top rope for two, so DiBiase takes a cheap shot to turn the tide, and Scott ends up on the outside for a helping of steps and guardrail. Probably still tastes better than ICOPRO. Back in, Money Inc go to work on Scott, but Scott manages to escape a hold from DiBiase long enough for the hot tag to Rick - Roseanne Barr the door! Scott hits Ted with a 2^nd rope clothesline for two, and Rick adds a powerslam. Scott with the Frankensteiner to finish, but here comes IRS with the briefcase to cause a DQ before the fall can be counted at 10:16. And then the Steiner's celebrate with the belts anyway, like morons. A lot of that going around that year. At least they didn't get any balloons falling from the ceiling. I'm honestly surprised they included this, considering how embarrassingly bad and bush league the camera work was for the first half. I mean, it's one thing to put out something like that for today's 'hidden gem' smark crowd, but for a compilation tape from this era, it's a weird call. And it's not like the match is some mind-blowing must-see classic that they just HAD to put on here, either. * (Original rating: *)

Mr. Perfect v Samu: Also from UK Rampage. Criss cross to start, ending in Samu missing a bodypress, but Perfect hitting one for two. Perfect then continues to put him through a cardio workout with a few armdrags and dropkicks, until Samu bails. Back in, Samu wants a test-of-strength, but Perfect is too smart for that, and forces him to criss cross again. Samu manages to clothesline him this time, and he tosses Perfect over the top for Afa to abuse, as the Headshrinker takes control on the contest. Samu misses a charge, allowing Perfect to go after the leg, but Samu rakes the eyes to quickly escape a spinning-toehold. He dumps Perfect to the outside again for Afa to pound, and a superkick is worth two on the way back in. Samu works him over, but engaging Perfect in a slugfest ends badly. Perfect looks to parlay that into a comeback, so Samu simply punches him in the dick, in a funny spot. That'll do it. Perfect, a noted aficionado of overselling, has a ball(s) selling it. Samu keeps hammering, so Perfect tries a small package, but only gets two. Samu responds with a bodyslam and a headbutt drop, but a flying headbutt misses, and the Perfect-Plex finishes at 12:47. Huge pop, too. Had its moments, but Samu on offense without someone to tag out to is not exactly state of the art stuff, and the middle portion dragged. * (Original rating: ¾*)

Jimmy Hart is listening to tunes out on his deck as he introduces the next match, and notes that he wrote Bret Hart's theme song. Never realized it was called 'Road to Destruction,' but I always thought it was superior to his second singles theme, which I think was called 'Hart Attack'

Bret Hart v Bam Bam Bigelow: From Barcelona Spain on April 24 1993. Kind of hilarious to hear Jim Ross note that they are 'jammed to the rafters' when there are literally entire SECTIONS of empty seats visible. Bret tries to control with a headlock early, but Bam Bam is too powerful, and sends the Hitman to the outside with a shoulderblock. Bret takes his time out there, but still gets pounded on the way back in. He tries a dropkick, but Bigelow rebounds with an elbowdrop, so Hart rolls out of the way, and uses the opportunity to grab an armbar. Bam Bam whips him into the corner to escape, but Bret dodges a charge, and armdrags him over for another armbar. Bigelow powers out and tries a press-slam, but Hart topples him for two, and quickly follows up with right hands to keep Bigelow from recovering. A backelbow knocks Bam Bam to the outside, and damn, Bret is over big here. He dives off the apron after Bigelow on the outside, but gets caught, and rammed into the post for his trouble. Bret nearly gets counted out, but Bigelow doesn't want to let him off that easily, and breaks the count to ram him into the post again. Now he's ready to take a countout win, but Bret makes it in, and man, Hart's selling is just so good. Bigelow pounds on the back ahead of a bearhug, so Bret goes to the eyes, but Bam Bam is ready with a side suplex for two. Headbutt drop to the back connects, and it's up for an overhead backbreaker, but Bret back flips into a side suplex to escape. He's too battered to follow up, however, and Bigelow hammers him ahead of a cool butterfly backbreaker. Don't see that one out of Bam Bam too often, if ever. Flying headbutt looks to finish, but Bret dodges, and railroads him into the corner for a fiery ten-punch. Russian legsweep gets Bret two, and a 2^nd rope clothesline is worth two. 2^nd rope bulldog sets up the Sharpshooter, but Bigelow's legs are too big, and he blocks. Bam Bam tries a bearhug, so Bret tries another side suplex counter, but Bigelow topples him for two this time. Bigelow with a corner whip, but his charge hits boot, and Bret rides him with a victory roll at 12:55. Interestingly, this tape was released on same day as the home video for King of the Ring '93, so if you rented both at your local video store that afternoon, you'd get to see them work that same finish twice. ** ¾ (Original rating: ** ¼)

Crush v Doink the Clown: From Paris France on April 8 1993. Doink tries a sneak attack, but Crush sees him coming, and unloads. Doink bails to break the momentum, so Crush dives off the apron, but loses the high ground on the way back in. Doink capitalizes by putting the boots to him, but Crush no-sells, and throws the clown around. Atomic drop and a clothesline set up some bootchoking, followed by a backbreaker, and a legdrop. Pair of kneedrops lead to a headscissors on the mat, and something about this match feels really off. Not sure if it's the sluggish execution, or the lack of pin attempts, or what. But something, and it's noticeable. Crush with a bodyslam and a bootrake, and FUCKING COVER, dude! Belly-to-belly suplex (still no cover) and a backbreaker (no cover) set up a flying kneedrop, but Doink dodges. He goes after the leg in the corner for a while, and a kneebreaker leads to a bodyslam. Doink heads up for the Whoopee Cushion, but Crush gets a boot up to block, and he starts making a comeback. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker connects, so Doink goes to the eyes to buy time, but eats a big boot out of the ropes. That knocks Doink to the outside, and he decides to walk away at 8:16. Wow, we actually made it the whole way through without a single pin attempt. * (Original rating: ¾*)

Jimmy has moved to his studio, where he gives us a look at his mixing board and computer programs. This is just fluff, but I'd love to see an actual doc with Jimmy and Jim Johnston on this stuff one of these days

Irwin R. Schyster v Scott Steiner: From Milan Italy on April 25 1993. Oddly, this is a dark match from the show (which aired internationally) where Money Inc defended against the Steiner’s with the same finish as the Barcelona match earlier on this tape. IRS stalls to start, so Scott tries to drag him off of the ropes, but Irwin is ready with a leg-feed enzuigiri. Ha! He pounds Scott until Steiner falls out of the ring, but gets caught with a powerslam when Scott comes back inside, and Steiner grounds him in a headlock. IRS turns it into a few cradles for two counts before fighting free with a cheap shot, but Scott has a cradle of his own ready for two. Schyster tries a backslide, but Scott reverses for two, and IRS is smart enough to bail. Back in, Scott immediately grabs a headlock, but IRS forces a criss cross, and takes him down with a drop-toehold. Hammerlock, but Scott reverses, and works that for a bit. Schyster fights to a vertical base, so Scott turnbuckle smashes his ass a few times, then drills him with a clothesline for two. Schyster bails for more stalling, but Scott is ready with another headlock when he finally comes back in, so IRS forces another criss cross - and then shrewdly dumps Steiner to the outside when Scott expects a drop-toehold again. That was a nice little bit of psychology. Schyster sends him into the steps out there, but a splash attempt on the way back in hits knees, and Steiner corner whips him. Schyster tries to bail again, but Scott grabs the necktie to block him, and it's another corner whip instead. Charge, but IRS lifts his boot, and quickly hooks a leveraged pin for what he thinks is three, but the referee spots the feet. The confusion allows Scott to recover, so Schyster tries a fireman's carry, but Scott counters with a sunset cradle at 9:59. This felt like the first ten minutes of a much longer match than a complete statement on its own, but it was a lot better than I expected, especially for a dark match ahead of another match between them later on the same show. ** (Original rating: ½*)

Yokozuna v Undertaker: From Milan Italy on April 25 1993. Wow, Undertaker/Yokozuna has to hold some sort of record for the most appearances on Coliseum tapes. Seriously, it's, like, every other tape has some random match between them on it. It's weird seeing Yokozuna during this period, where he's already an absolutely enormous human being, yet he looks skinny to me because I'm familiar with how big he'd get later. Undertaker with a DDT early, but an elbowdrop misses, and Yokozuna clotheslines him over the top for Mr. Fuji to whack with his flagpole. Yokozuna follows to bash Undertaker into the steps and timekeeper's table, as I start to ponder where the fuck a guy like Yokozuna buys underwear. Seriously. Is he just free balling, you think? Inside, Yokozuna with a bodyslam to set up a legdrop, but Undertaker sits up. Yokozuna responds with a clothesline, but Undertaker sits up again, so Yoko just says 'fuck it,' and whacks him with the salt bucket for the DQ at 3:48. How quickly did he give up? Seriously, what kind of work ethic does this guy have? DUD (Original rating: DUD)

Jimmy signs off from the studio, where he appears to have been jerking it to Hulk Hogan during the last match. Well, that does look like a comfortable chair. Also, did the camera guy hit some Quaaludes between segments? Either that, or this studio is on a ship. What the fuck is he doing?

BUExperience: Despite not having any standout segments, matches, or hidden gems, this tends to work more than it doesn’t. Chalk it up to the unique flavor of international matches, I guess.

I decent additional to your Coliseum Collection.