NWA (JCP) Boogie Jam (March 1984)

Original Airdate: March 17, 1984

From Greensboro, North Carolina

Opening Match: Dork Funk Jr v Tully Blanchard: Tully attacks before the bell, and stomps Funk down for a bit, as the camera shoots from a super wide angle for a while, before finally going to the handheld as Dory gets to a vertical base and knocks him to the outside. Back in, Funk works a mat-based side-headlock, as they keep switching the camera angles to a variety of really wide angles again. And I'm not talking about the traditional hard camera angle, these appear to be shot from the ceiling of the arena, or from a very distant corner. Terrible. Blanchard tries dumping him to the outside, but Funk just comes right back in, kicks his ass, and Tully ends up on the outside for his efforts. Funk with a bodyslam, and even though Blanchard dodges the elbowdrop follow-up, Dory still gets a two count anyway. Not sure if that was a botch of what, but it was weird. Funk works an armbar for a while until Tully gets into the ropes, and he bails to regroup. Back in, Blanchard uses a cheap shot to send Funk into the corner, and he adds a quick bootchoke to turn the tide. Bodyslam sets up a 2^nd rope elbowdrop for two, and Blanchard stays right on him with a chinlock. Tully tries a cross corner whip, but Funk blocks (in a unique way that I don't think I've ever seen before, where he just simply stops running, and drops to the mat), so Blanchard hammers on him instead. I dug that counter, though. Like, seriously, how is it that no one's ever tried just digging their heels in as a block to an Irish whip? It's taken me 25 years of watching wrestling to see it just once! Anyway, Blanchard keeps pounding him until Funk gets tired of him, and slaps on an abdominal stretch. He drops it into a cradle for two, but Blanchard wrestles to a vertical base, and they criss cross for a double knockout. Both stagger up, and Dory is ready with a pair of rights to rattle Blanchard. Hanging vertical suplex gets two, and a butterfly suplex is worth two. Spinning toehold looks to finish, but Tully dumps him to the outside to block. Blanchard tries a turnbuckle smash on the way back in, but Funk reverses. Rollup, but now Blanchard reverses, and he hooks the tights for the pin at 13:52. Boring, but certainly competent. Interestingly, Tully would go on to have a much better match with the other Funk brother a full decade later. *

Ernie Ladd v Rufus R. Jones: Jones tries to intimidate him with his premium dancing at the bell, but that doesn't get anywhere, so he tries a headlock instead. That manages slightly better. Backdrop does even BETTER, and Ladd bails to the outside to regroup. Back in, Ladd manages a takedown, and he works a headscissors on the mat. Jones makes the ropes, so Ladd pops him with a chop instead, and works a ropechoke. Should have taken your chances with the headlock, Rufus. Ladd with a hiptoss for two (in case anyone forgot that we're in 1984), but Jones gets fired up, and starts making a comeback. Seeing a guy as tall as Ladd doing flippy oversells is pretty cool. Jones' comeback stuff sucks, though. Ladd fights off a headlock in the corner, but Jones reverses a turnbuckle smash, so Ladd pulls a foreign object out of his tights for a cheap shot. He works Jones over with it to set up a big boot, and a legdrop follows, but Ladd stops the count at two. He wants to punctuate the beating with a flying splash, but Jones rolls out of the way, and a headbutt finishes Ernie off at 6:04. Not much to this one, but thankfully it was short. Ladd's offense looked notably phony here. ¼*

Wahoo McDaniel and Mark Youngblood v Bob Orton and Don Kernodle: Wahoo and Mark's NWA World Tag Team Title is not on the line here. They actually won the belts off of Don and Bob a couple of weeks before this. Beautiful looking belts, too. Wahoo starts with Don, and Don immediately tries to get cute with a slap across the face, and lots of taunting. He tries it once too often, however, and Wahoo sends him to the outside following a big chop. Don got some serious hang time off of that chop, damn! Back in, Don tries unloading with forearms to turn it around, but Wahoo fires back with chops, and a big tomahawk sends Don back to the outside. Inside, Don manages to power Wahoo into the heel corner during a lockup, and Orton of course immediately pounces on him. They double team Wahoo, and Don pulls him to the outside for a trip into the post while Bob distracts the referee. That, of course, immediately draws blood, in case you needed another reminder that we're in 1984. The heels cut the ring in half on Wahoo, but he manages to dodge an elbowdrop from Orton to get the tag off to Mark. Youngblood's fired up offense looks really goofy. He needs to take a class from Ultimate Warrior over how to properly integrate the theatrics into his act. Might be a little late for that now, though. Anyway, he quickly gets into trouble against the heels, and they settle right in cutting the ring in half on Mark instead. They mess up a tandem move that allows a quick tag back to Wahoo, and Roseanne Barr the door! Big chop from Wahoo sets up an axehandle drop from Youngblood, and Don is done at 11:30. *

Six-Man Tag Team Match: Junkyard Dog, Angelo Mosca Sr, and Angelo Mosca Jr v Gary Hart, Ivan Koloff, and Great Kabuki: Junior and Kabuki start, and Jr quickly hits a bodypress for two during a criss cross, and he armdrags Kabuki down for an armbar. Kabuki with chops to escape, and he manages a shoulderblock, but Jr throws another bodypress for two, and an armdrag puts Kabuki right back in an armbar. Kabuki forces another criss cross, and this time when Jr goes for the bodypress, Kabuki is ready with a superkick to block. That allows Kabuki to take things right into the heel corner for a triple team, and Koloff uses a backelbow for two. The heels cut the ring in half on Jr, but he also manages to block a corner whip by simply, you know, not running, and there's a tag to JYD. Seriously, twice on one show! Wow! I guess wrestlers just got stupider as time went on. Too much time spent learning how to do 450 splashes, not enough on basic physics. Dog knocks the heels around, but a tag to Sr ends badly when he falls prey to a triple team. It's hard to believe Sr is only 47 years old here. Maybe wrestlers used to be smarter, but they also aged like shit back in the day. The heels work Sr over, but Kabuki misses a charge in the corner, and there's the tag back to JYD. Hart eats a bodyslam, and Jr finishes him off with a flying bodypress at 9:59. ¾*

NWA United States Title Cage Match: Dick Slater v Greg Valentine: Slater won the title off of Valentine a few months prior (just after the first Starrcade) to set this up. Slater wants to run away at the bell, but they're in a cage, so that doesn't work out. Valentine with a bodyslam, and he starts stomping on Dick's dick to show he means business. Elbowsmash gets two, so Valentine goes back to the groin abuse, and a 2^nd rope elbowsmash gets him another two. Greg works a chinlock, so Slater tries ramming him into the cage to escape, but Valentine keeps blocking. He elbows Dick down for two, and goes back to working the chinlock on the champion. Slater starts to escape, so Greg turns it into a slugfest instead, which goes his way in decisive fashion. The fact that these guys are wearing the same colored gear is not doing us any favors with these distant camera angles. Thank God the hair color is at least different, because it's really hard to tell two pasty white guys in blue tights and black boots apart from such distance. Slater takes over after an exchange on the ropes, and Valentine eats cage to draw blood. I'm actually kinda surprised how little blood we've seen tonight for a show from this era. I think they didn't get super crazy with the blades until '86 though, when you'd see blood (or double blood) in practically every single match, whether warranted or not. Slater with a suplex and a headbutt drop for two, and a pointed elbowdrop gets two. 2^nd rope elbowsmash is worth two, as Slater works him over in slow, deliberate fashion. Valentine starts firing off right hands to build a comeback, and man, Slater's selling is goofy as fuck. Elbowsmash gets two, so he decides to introduce Dick to the cage, in a decidedly non-consensual manner. Slater is busted open, so Greg hits a vertical suplex for two, and he bites at the cut. Slater is dizzy and swinging wildly, but Greg easily avoids him, and unloads in the corner. Atomic drop gets two, and a kneedrop sets up a splash, but Slater lifts his knees to block. He has no comeback, however, and Greg starts punching at him again to trigger another Valentine-won slugfest. Greg adds an inverted atomic drop to set up a 2^nd rope elbowdrop, but Dick dodges, and hits a piledriver for two. He pounds Valentine's neck with elbows to set up a swinging neckbreaker for two, and he stays on the part from there, but makes the mistake of trading fists with the Hammer again. Valentine works an abdominal stretch, but Slater manages a hiptoss to escape, so Greg throws a kneelift to hold control. Elbowdrop follows, so Slater tries a desperation charge, but gets caught in a sleeper! Dick escapes with a Russian legsweep for two, but he's so battered that Valentine is able to roll him over and make his own cover for two. Back to a vertical base, Greg unloads with more rights, but Slater reverses him into the cage. He goes to the top rope, but Valentine slams him off, and starts cranking on the knee. Figure four, but Slater shoves him into the cage to block, and quickly cradles at 23:30. This was really slow by modern standards, but it had good bones. ** ¾

NWA World Title Match: Ric Flair v Ricky Steamboat: Feeling out process to start, dominated by the challenger. And I mean process. Like, the first twenty minutes are just trading holds on the mat and such, with little else going on. And it's all well and good from a psychological perspective, but it's not especially entertaining. I'm a big fan of psychology in wrestling, but there are plenty more engaging ways to do it than what we're seeing here. After twenty+ minutes of headlocks and facelocks and such, Steamboat starts trying for a figure four, but Flair keeps blocking him, so Ricky uses his momentum against him to turn it into a Boston crab instead. Flair escapes, and goes to the corner to break the challenger's momentum, before engaging in a criss cross that ends in Flair going to the outside following a pair of dropkicks. Back in, they fight over a double-knucklelock, with Steamboat again dominating, as I play with my phone to fight through the boredom. Seriously, we get it, pick it up already. Steamboat powers him to a vertical base to set up a monkeyflip, and he adds a quick dropkick, but Flair is in the ropes before a cover can be made. Ric gets in his face, so Steamboat tries throwing down, but Flair unloads chops, and dumps him to the apron. Steamboat hustles to the top rope for a flying tomahawk chop for two, and Flair bails to the outside to break the momentum. The champ tries to corner Steamboat on the way back in, but the Dragon is ready with chops of his own. Flair tries to criss cross, but Steamboat is ready with a press-slam to fight that effort off as well. Figure four, but Flair blocks, and they end up in the ropes for a pull apart, with Flair taking a cheap shot to turn the tide. At least things are picking up some now, thirty minutes in. Flair works his challenger over with chops, and they end up in a weird botch during a criss cross, where it looks like Flair thought he was supposed to do a leapfrog, while Ricky thought he was supposed to sweep the leg, and they just kinda fall into the ropes instead. It didn't look terrible, though. Not everything has to be perfectly crisp and overly choreographed all the time. I mean, have you ever seen a real fight that is? Flair dumps him to the outside, but Steamboat beats the count, so Flair welcomes him with a snapmare to set up a kneedrop for two. Cross corner whip, but Steamboat reverses, and he grabs a sleeper as Flair rebounds. Flair fades, so Steamboat tries a splash, but Ric is alert enough to lift his knees to block, and Steamboat ends up on the outside. He beats the count to the apron, so Flair tries bringing him in with a suplex, but Ricky counters to a sleeper on the way down. Ric is able to counter with a side suplex before Steamboat can really get the hold locked in, however, and the champ slaps on an abdominal stretch. Steamboat escapes, and lands a swinging neckbreaker for two, so Flair forces a criss cross, and rides the Dragon with a sleeper. Steamboat fades, but manages to drop Ric into the corner as he does, saving himself. Steamboat tries a schoolboy for two, and he starts making a comeback with chops, leaving Flair begging off. No mercy from the Dragon tonight, and a cross corner whip rebounds Ric into a press-slam for two. Bodypress, but Flair catches him in a hotshot, and adds a butterfly suplex for two. Elbowdrop gets two, so Flair uses a hanging vertical suplex to set up the Figure Four! He nearly gets it on, but Steamboat manages to catch the leg for a last second block, so Flair punches him in the gut to fight off the impending comeback. Side suplex, but Steamboat reverses for two, and they're doing a great job of selling the fatigue at this point. Backdrop, but he telegraphs it, and Flair boots him in the kisser to block. Criss cross sees Steamboat fire back with a chop, and a cross corner whip flips Flair into a heap on the mat. Steamboat keeps coming with a bodyslam, and a flying chop flops Flair for two. They spill to the outside to trade chops for a bit, with Flair dominating, but Steamboat managing a slingshot sunset flip for two on the way back in. Backslide gets two, and a small package is worth two. Cool bit there, where Flair kicks out, but Steamboat bridges back into the cradle for another two count. Ric thinks fast with a low blow to shake the Dragon off, but Ricky manages to dive into him during a criss cross, and Ric needs the ropes to save himself at two. Another criss cross ends in a double knockout spot, and Flair is up first. Suplex, but Steamboat reverses for two, so Flair goes low again. Snapmare sets up a kneedrop, but Ricky catches the leg, and counters into his own figure four! Flair is screaming in pain, but he manages to make the ropes in time to escape, so Steamboat drags him back to center ring. He goes for it again, so Flair pokes him in the eyes to block, and hits a quick elbowdrop. He goes upstairs, but Steamboat slams him off before he can dive. Steamboat goes upstairs for a flying splash, and that looks to finish, but time expires at 56:39. Look, it's Flair/Steamboat. Of course it was well worked. But it was also an hour long. Personally, I prefer a hot twenty minute match over an hour long one with lots of downtime, an extended feeling out process, etc. But that's a matter of personal taste, and yours may vary. For me, this is a match I can appreciate, but not one I particularly enjoy, especially during the first half. They'd have better ones later on. **

Main Event: Hair v Mask Match: Jimmy Valiant v Assassin #2: Dusty Rhodes (with Valiant) and Paul Jones (with Assassin) are tied together at ringside, and Assassin #1 gets sent to the back as well for added drama here. Valiant starts hot, beating Assassin to the outside right away, and sending him into the post out there. Back in, Jimmy gets a sleeper on, and Assassin fades, but Jimmy misses an elbowdrop. That allows Assassin to work a bearhug, but Valiant escapes, and does his usual flailing around. Assassin nails him with a weapon to stop that shit, and let me just say THANK YOU, Mr. Assassin. Assassin works him over with some kneedrops and punches, and then he combines them into a fistdrop for two. Bringing out the big guns here, I see. Running powerslam gets two, so Jones takes a cheap shot at Dusty on the outside so he can interfere. That backfires, of course, and Valiant drops an elbow at 6:32. I’ve been watching old Valiant matches for 20 years now, and I still don’t get what crowds saw in this guy. And then afterwards, Assassin is unmasked as the guy we’d later come to know as Hercules. DUD

BUExperience: You can skip this. Unless you’re a fan of this territory specifically, there’s really no need to go back to watch this thing.

DUD