WWE SummerSlam (August 2009)

 

Original Airdate: August 23, 2009

From Los Angeles, California; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler (RAW); Jim Ross and Todd Grisham (Smackdown); Josh Matthews and Matt Striker (ECW)

Opening WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Rey Mysterio v Dolph Ziggler: They were still using that IC design in 2009? That thing lasted forever. Ziggler with a powerslam for two and a schoolboy for two right off the bat, but a cross corner whip gets reversed, and Rey dives with a flying moonsault press for two. Ziggler gets frustrated and charges, but gets dumped over the top, and Rey dives off the apron with a rana into the barricade. Rey with a 2^nd rope dropkick on the way back inside, but Ziggler catches him with a bucklebomb for two. Dolph follows up with some mounted punches for two, and he works a chinlock. Sidewalk slam gets the challenger two, and an elbowdrop is worth two. That was Luger style, baby. Ziggler works a chinlock/bodyscissors combo next, but another corner whip backfires, this time with Rey using a drop-toehold into the middle turnbuckle. Unfortunately for the champion, a charge gets blocked with a clothesline for two, and Dolph adds a gutbuster for two. Back to the chinlock/bodyscissors for more wear down, but a corner splash misses, and a reversal sequence ends in Rey throwing a seated roundhouse kick for two. Springboard bodypress, but Ziggler throws a dropkick to block, and he cradles for two. Another reversal sequence sees Ziggler reverse a cradle for two, and he throws another clothesline for two. Side suplex, but Rey slips free, and uses a leg-feed enzuigiri to set up the 619, but Ziggler bails to the outside to get away. Rocker dropper gets the challenger two, but Rey dodges a charge in the corner, and uses a sunset cradle for two. Ziggler tries cutting him off with a bodyslam, but Rey counters with a DDT for two on the way down. Dropkick sets up the 619 again, and the champ sticks the landing this time. That sets up the springboard flying splash, but Ziggler dodges, and hooks a cradle for two. I totally bought that as the finish. A frustrated Ziggler takes him into the corner to unload on, and he takes it upstairs for an exploding gutbuster, but Rey counters with a rana to retain at 12:26. This was a fun back-and-forth match, and a great way to start the show off. It was better than the Night of Champions match, too. ***

Jack Swagger v Montel Vontavious Porter: Swagger tries to power him around at the bell, but Porter hooks a cradle for two, and comes out of the ropes with a clothesline. Sidewalk slam sends Jack running for the outside, but MVP is on him with a plancha out there, and he rolls big Jack in to cover for two. Porter tries a tornado DDT, but Swagger manages to block, and he slams MVP into the buckles. Swagger hammers the back and works an abdominal stretch, but Porter starts to fight free, so Jack cracks him with a short-clothesline for two. He works a camel clutch next, but Porter powers to a vertical base, and uses an electric chair to escape. Both guys stagger up for a slugfest, and Porter gets the better of him, then uses a kneeling facebuster to set up his theatrical elbowdrop for two. Playmaker, but Swagger rams him into the corner to block, and hooks a schoolboy for two. Jack goes for the springboard pump-splash, but Porter is not worn down, and dodges. He capitalizes with a big boot in the corner, and the Playmaker finishes at 6:22. Solid work. * ½

WWE Unified Tag Team Title Match: Chris Jericho and Big Show v Cryme Tyme: Chris starts with JTG, and grabs a side-headlock right away, but JTG whips him into the ropes. Criss cross ends in JTG hitting a jumping backelbow, but an attempt at throwing a knee is countered with a schoolboy into the Walls, but JTG blocks. Chris responds with a catapult, but JTG lands on the ropes, and dives back with a seated senton for two. Tag to Show to work a headlock, but JTG dodges a corner charge, and tags out to Shad Gaspard. Shad sticks and moves, so Jericho tries running in to help, but gets press-dropped. The distraction allows Show to recover, however, and he spears Shad down to take control. The tag champs go to work on Shad, and the ring sounds way over mic'd tonight. Though, I kind of like it, reminds me of my first house show. Shad fights Jericho off long enough for the tag, and JTG comes in hot. JTG's offense looks way too overly choreographed. Schoolboy gets him two, so Chris puts him in the Walls, but JTG makes the ropes. Unfortunately for him, Show is standing there with a knockout punch while the referee isn't looking, and Jericho covers at 9:44. ¾*

Kane v Great Khali: Kane is put in the unfamiliar position of having to stick and move against a larger opponent to start, but he ends up getting tossed over the top. Khali tries pulling him back in, but Kane snaps his throat across the top rope to block, so Khali tries a legdrop, but misses. That looked really ridiculous, as Kane moved before Khali even tried the move. Kane with a seated dropkick for two, and a series of elbowdrops follows. Chokeslam, but Khali tries to reverse, and neither guy gets it. Khali uses a clothesline instead, and adds an elbowdrop for two. He follows up with some truly ugly, truly phony looking mounted punches for two, and a corner clothesline sets up a big chop. Poor JR is at a loss with some of the poor work here. Kane goes upstairs with a flying clothesline for two, and he works a chinlock, but Khali escapes with a backelbow. He adds a big boot, and a big chop gets two. Khali is working like Kamala here, down to looking like he doesn't know which end of the man to cover. Khali with a headvice, but Kane gets into the ropes, and uses Ranjin Singh as a distraction. That allows him a dropkick to the knee, and a DDT finishes at 5:58. Kane was trying, but the match felt like a house of cards, constantly at risk of crumbling due to Khali's lack of skill. This barely hovered above negative stars. DUD

Triple H and Shawn Michaels v Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase: HHH and HBK get a big overblown entrance on a tank, like this is a WrestleMania, or something. And this is Shawn's first match since WrestleMania. I know this is already (very) old news, but I'm still annoyed that he's 'Ted DiBiase,' no 'junior,' or whatever. It's one thing with Rey Mysterio or Chavo Guerrero, but Ted DiBiase Sr headlined two WrestleManias - not exactly unknown to WWE audiences. HHH starts with DiBiase, and dominates. Ted tags out, but Cody runs right into a high knee, so he slaps Shawn to try and force a tag. DX obliges, but Cody paintbrushes him again during a criss cross, and takes Michaels down for mounted punches. Shawn wins another criss cross with a Thesz-press, however, and he returns fire with the mounted punches, and a big slap. Superkick, but Cody bails to the outside to dodge, and he regroups out there. Cody charges back in, but Shawn is ready with a drop-toehold, and he grabs a headlock. Cody powers out with a side suplex to allow the tag back to Ted, but Shawn dodges an elbowdrop from him, and throws chops in the corner. Cross corner whip gets reversed, however, and DiBiase uses mounted punches of his own. Tag to Cody with an elbowdrop for two, and a bodyslam sets up a kneedrop for two. Shawn manages a neckbreaker to allow the tag, and HHH comes in unloading on Ted, but Cody throws a cheap shot from the apron, allowing DiBiase a catapult into the corner. HHH basically no-sells it, however, and gives both guys a spinebuster. It's worth noting that HHH is getting significantly smaller crowd reactions while running wild than Shawn did for simply tagging in. Pedigree on Ted, but Cody saves, so Shawn runs in to clothesline him to the outside. Michaels adds a dive, but the distraction allows Legacy to put Hunter down, and they go to work on him once the dust settles. HHH manages to dump DiBiase over the top to make the hot tag to Michaels, and he runs through his comeback routine on Cody, but Ted attacks to prevent a Superkick. That allows Rhodes to get to the top for a flying elbowdrop, but Shawn dodges. Michaels goes up with a flying elbowdrop of his own, but Cody lifts the knees to block, and covers for two. Crossrhodes, but Shawn counters with a figure four - probably living out his childhood dream of putting a Rhodes in a figure four. Ted saves, so HHH comes in, and Roseanne Barr the door. Cody manages the Crossrhodes on Shawn, but HHH saves at two, and gives Cody the Pedigree. Unfortunately for Shawn, Ted hits him with a cobra slam before he can cover, and both Michaels and Rhodes are left down while HHH takes Ted to school on the outside. Both stagger up, and Shawn is able to throw the Superkick for the pin at 20:01. This was a fun, pay per view level tag match, though nothing especially wild. ** ¼

ECW Title Match: Christian v William Regal: Christian attacks while Regal is busy getting his robe off, and hits the Killswitch right away at 0:09. Honestly, that's the referee's fault. You don't ring the bell before both guys are ready to go. DUD

WWE Title Match: Randy Orton v John Cena: The announcers note that both men have been world champion five times at this point, which is kind of crazy to think considering that was all achieved over a five year period, with a bunch of other champions as well. Orton pounds him into the corner to start, but wastes times gloating, and eats a one-handed bulldog for two. Cena looks for the follow-up, but Randy throws a backelbow to cut him off, and uses a corner whip. We're three minutes into the match, and already it's moving at a snail's pace. Orton with another corner whip and a kneedrop, and the inverted headlock backbreaker gets two. Chinlock, but John powers to a vertical base, so Randy shifts to a sleeper, but Cena manages to drop into the corner to shake him off. John with a pair of jumping shoulderblocks and the side suplex to set up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Orton counters the Attitude Adjustment with a powerslam for two. Kneedrop, but John dodges, which is no surprise, considering it took Randy about a week between moves there. John tries another jumping shoulderblock, but this time Orton hits the deck, and the challenger takes a spill to the outside. Randy pulls him back in with the rope-hung DDT for two, and he starts humping the mat! And you know what that means! Anyway, Cena dodges, and hits the Throwback. Maybe jerk off before the match next time, huh, champ? Cena dives with a flying rocker dropper for two, and he does a weird Super Mario-like taunt ahead of an AA attempt, but Orton blocks. Double clothesline leaves both men looking up at the lights, leading to a slugfest as they stagger to a vertical base. The crowd is surprisingly engaged considering what a low-key effort this has been thus far. Cena with a backdrop, so Orton hits the referee to trigger a DQ - losing the match but retaining the gold at 13:29. But then we get a twist, as Vince McMahon orders the match to restart (from off-screen), and if Orton gets disqualified again, he loses the title as well. Okay, so back in, Cena hits a sidewalk slam for two, followed by a corner whip, so the champ bails. This time John is on his tail for a bash into the barricade, but Orton thinks fast, and whips him into the steps. That gets the champ two on the way back in, so he decides to just walk out, since McMahon didn't say anything about countouts. And, yep, he's counted out at 2:05 (15:34 total). Seems like such a weird place to walk out, considering he was firmly in control of the match, and left with Cena down on his back. Oh, but Vince restarts the match from off-screen, and now Randy will lose the belt if he gets counted out again. Orton rushes back in, but Cena is ready for him with the AA - only for Randy to counter with a leveraged schoolboy at 0:17 (15:51 total). Oh, but now another referee (the same punk who fucked up the ECW Title match) is here to alert the main official to the cheating, and we restart again. Jesse Ventura would be having a field day with this shit. Cena hits him with a clothesline to set up the STF right away, but a 'fan' jumps into the ring to tackle the referee, and Randy escapes in the confusion. They play it off as real, but the fact that the camera is showing him getting hauled off by security is all you'd ever need to know it's a work. So Cena stands around looking all confused, but no bell is called, and Orton hits the RKO to retain (for real this time) at 1:53 (17:44 total). Wow, talk about overbooked. The match wasn't especially good or engaging to begin with, but the constant stop/starts really butchered it. I also really don't get how Orton has stayed on top for such an incredibly long time. Not that he hasn't had some good performances along the way, but he's just so incredibly dull that it's amazing that he wasn't a career midcarder at best. ¾*

Main Event: World Heavyweight Title Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match: Jeff Hardy v CM Punk: Punk beats him down and dumps him to the outside right away, and follows to whack him with a chair out there. That allows Punk to get inside with a ladder to go for the belt, but Jeff violently tips him over. Twist of Fate, but Punk blocks, so Hardy just stomps him down in the corner instead, and uses the slingshot dropkick. Jeff dumps his challenger to the outside to give himself a path up the ladder, but Punk kicks him off, and puts the boots to him. Kind of weird that Punk is out there cutting promos on LA, while wearing very Lakers-like colors. Jeff tries Poetry in Motion, but Punk catches him, and drops him across the chair he used for the springboard. Punk beats on him with the ladder and throws a leg lariat, then dumps him to the outside for a tope. Punk swing a chair out there, but ends up hitting the post. That allows Jeff to try a whip into the steps, but Punk springboards onto them, so Hardy swats him with a chair on the rebound. Jeff with Poetry in Motion against the barricade, and he puts Punk on a table to set up a flying splash out there, but Punk dodges. Good looking bump there. Punk capitalizes by going in for a climb, but Jeff follows him up and past, nearly grabbing the gold. Punk fights back by trying a GTS off the ladder, but Hardy counters with a sunsetbomb on the way down. Nice execution on that one. Jeff climbs, but gets tipped over, and crotched on the top rope. Punk capitalizes with a vertical superplex onto a ladder, but another suplex is countered with the Twist. That allows Jeff to go up with the Swanton Bomb, but the challenger lifts his knees to block. He looks to add a bulldog out of the corner, but Hardy dumps him over the top to counter - Punk going through a table on the way down! Ross sounds like such a videogame commentator at this point, it's sad. Hardy climbs, but Punk manages to springboard with a flying axehandle to knock him off, and the challenger takes him to the outside. Punk wraps a chair around Hardy's neck, but Jeff blocks the shot into the post, and beats on him with the weapon a few times to buy time. Hardy preps an announce table, which seems like a particular waste of the time he just bought considering there's another regular table already ready to go literally inches away. Anyway, Punk gets put on the table, and Hardy climbs a super tall ladder, putting the challenger through it with a Swanton! That was pretty crazy, and would be up there with Mick Foley bumping off the Cell if it happened in a different era. The match grinds to a halt so EMTs can stretcher the broken champion off, but that's not how ladder matches work, and Punk knows it. He crawls into the ring to go for the ladder, but Hardy knows the deal too, and fights off the EMTs. Both guys hobble up opposite sides of the ladder, and Punk manages to knock him off (with Jeff taking one last big bump on the way down) for the win at 21:33. Afterwards, Punk stands over an unconscious Hardy, when suddenly we hear a gong, and the lights die. They come back up with no Undertaker at the entrance – instead he’s replaced Hardy under Punk’s feet, and does a dramatic sit up for an attack. That was pretty great. Nothing really unique as far as these matches go, but most everything was exceptionally well executed, and neither guy was afraid of the ball when it came to taking bumps. Especially Hardy, who seemed determined to leave in a wheelchair. Luckily he didn't, though he did leave the promotion by the end of the month, before surfacing in TNA early the following year. ***

BUExperience: A generally easy show to watch, though I wouldn’t go as far as to call it ‘good.’ A few good matches, yes, and generally fine... but also pretty inconsequential in the long run.

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