WWE Royal Rumble (January 2011)

Original Airdate: January 30, 2011

From Boston, Massachusetts; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Matt Striker, and Jerry Lawler

Opening World Heavyweight Title Match: Edge v Dolph Ziggler: If Edge uses the spear, he loses the title. Edge dominates him at the onset, and delivers a stomachbreaker for two. Bodyslam gets him two, and they spill to the outside, where Edge drops him into the apron and the barricade. Ziggler catches him with a neckbreaker for two on the way back in, and Dolph dominates for a while, putting Edge through multiple near falls. Both guys try a bodypress at the same time to give us a double knockout spot, and Edge gets the better of it. Edge with a modified facebuster for two, but Ziggler comes back with a chincrusher for two. Rocker dropper, but Edge counters with a sitout powerbomb for two. To the top for a flying bodypress, but Ziggler rolls through for two, and hits him with a standing dropkick for two. Zig Zag, but Edge blocks, and gets a deathlock on, but Ziggler has the ropes. Edge tries a straddling ropechoke, but Ziggler dodges, and delivers the rocker dropper for two. Whip into the ropes, but Edge reverses, and plants a big boot on his challenger. He wants to go for the spear, but remembers the stipulation, and Ziggler gets a sleeper on the disoriented champion. Edge escapes with a DDT for two, count broken when Vickie Guerrero pulls the referee out. That allows Dolph to recover, but Edge dodges the sneak attack, and rolls him up for two. Vickie responds by slapping the challenger, but Kelly Kelly (dressed as a plumber) takes her out. Ziggler sneaks up again with a Zig Zag for two, and he tries another sleeper, getting better traction on this go. Edge fades, but muscles to a vertical base, and drops Ziggler with a jawbreaker to escape. The referee is down, allowing Edge to use the spear, and the killswitch finishes at 20:44. They were working hard, and I really liked how they absolutely packed the match with near falls, but it left me a little cold overall. **

WWE Title Match: Miz v Randy Orton: Orton beats him down in the corner to start, and he tosses Miz to the outside for a trip into the barricade. Inside, Orton hooks the leg for two, and he puts the boots to the champion. Catapult under the bottom rope gets him two, so he goes back to just pounding him in the corner instead. Alex Riley interferes to allow Miz to turn the tide, and he works Randy over for a bit. Orton makes a comeback with an inverted headlock backbreaker, but Miz blocks the rope-hung DDT, and backdrops the challenger over the top for Alex to abuse. Miz follows to ram Randy into the apron a few times, and he hooks the leg for two on the way back inside. Miz with a flying axehandle for two, so he goes to a reverse chinlock, but Orton is a fighter. To the outside, Miz uses a catapult into the post to try for the countout, but Randy beats the count, and tackles him with a Thesz press. Randy makes a comeback, and the Garvin stomp gets him two. Piledriver, so Riley distracts him, and Miz capitalizes with a neckbreaker for two. RKO, but Miz blocks, so Orton suplexes him instead for two. Miz decides to walk out, but Orton blasts him with a clothesline on the floor to put a stop to that. Back in, but a distraction from Riley allows Miz to nail the challenger again. He tries a boot, but Orton ducks, and schoolboys for two. Rope-hung DDT leads to the RKO, but the Nexus show up at ringside for another distraction. That allows Riley to try a sneak attack, but Orton sees it coming, and pitches Alex over the top. Unfortunately for him, CM Punk runs out as well, giving Orton a GTS, and allowing Miz to retain at 19:48. Competent, but dull, and then became a mess of overbooking. *

WWE Divas Title Fatal Four-Way Match: Natalya v Michelle McCool v Layla v Eve Torres: This is scheduled as Natalya defending against McCool and Layla in a Handicap match, but the anonymous RAW General Manager turns it into a four-way after the entrances. First fall wins it here. Michelle and Layla take out their frustrations on both women, but that leaves them to face off against each other, since they both can’t win. I mean, what would they even be, like, co-champions? Yeah, right. That goes nowhere when Natalya and Eve attack before they can engage, and Natalya puts Layla and Torres in a double Sharpshooter, but McCool saves. McCool covers Eve for two, but Torres fights back with a small package for two. Layla responds by hitting Eve with a neckbreaker and dumping her to the outside, but Natalya pops up, and spams clotheslines at them. Scoop sitout brainbuster on McCool gets the champion two, and a schoolboy follows for another two. She dumps McCool to the outside so she can finish Layla, but then Eve shoves Natalya out of the ring. That allows Eve a flying moonsault on Layla for the pin - the referee counting three at 5:09, but missing the fact that McCool has Natalya pinned at the same time behind him! Cute finish, crap match. ¼*

Main Event: #1 Contender's 40-Man Royal Rumble Match: CM Punk and Daniel Bryan get #1 and #2, but the Core run in before Daniel’s entrance, attacking Punk. I’m not even going to ask why, I’m sure there’s no shortage of reasons. Punk and Bryan trade off, as the announcers talk about how ‘the internet’ is loving this matchup. As a member of ‘the internet,’ I’d prefer if you don’t speak on my behalf. #3 is Justin Gabriel, and he’s a member of the Core, so he goes right for Punk. Justin misses a flying 450 splash on Punk, allowing Bryan to dump him in short order. #4 is Zack Ryder, and apparently he’s ‘cocky and brash.’ Both? How does he find the time? Bryan quickly eliminates him. #5 is William Regal, and he slugs it out with Daniel. Ted DiBiase gets #6, and he passes dropkicks around. John Morrison draws #7, and Regal is gone. Morrison nearly gets dumped, but manages to get to the barricade without touching the floor, and back inside. #8 is Yoshi Tatsu, who I don’t remember at all. Might have seen him in a videogame at some point, no idea otherwise. He doesn’t do anything interesting anyway. Husky Harris draws #9, and boy, it’s a good thing he started working in a shirt. “If this is what he looks like at 23, imagine what he’ll look like in ten years,” quips Striker. He’d look significantly better! #10 is Chavo Guerrero, as the announcers excitedly remind us that we’re a quarter of the way through. Guess they’re enjoying it as much as I am. Mark Henry joins the party at #11, as the announcers wonder how anyone is going to get Henry over the top rope. Well, he’d been in the promotion for fifteen years at this point. That’s a lot of Rumbles. Pretty sure a bunch of people have figured it out. He gets rid of Tatsu and Guerrero, as JTG enters at #12, and the match drags. Michael McGillicutty draws lucky #13, and comes to Punk’s aid, dumping JTG. Chris Masters gets #14, and he goes for Punk, but runs into his henchman instead. Boy, was everyone in the promotion going with the same gear during this period? Not just the style, the color schemes and patterns are all so alike. It used to be that I could tell a guy from even a snippet of their gear. Even a certain shade of a certain color. If you showed me Masters’ gear beside Harris’ or DiBiase’s, I’d have no clue. David Otunga gets #15, and he’s another Nexus guy, and they have enough numbers now to clear everyone else out. That leaves Punk, Harris, McGillicutty, and Otunga, as Tyler Reks enters at #16 - and quickly says good night. Vladimir Kozlov draws #17, and comes in with fire, but gets overwhelmed, and dumped. Kind of ironic that Punk is leading this Diesel-like Rumble run, given what his immediate future would hold. R-Truth pulls #18, but doesn’t have any better luck. Finally, Great Khali comes in at #19, and that’s a great way to break up the run. Harris gets gone, as the announcers mention how only ‘one’ person has ever won the match that entered in numbers 1-20. Just one? Are we sure about that? I’m not saying we need to glorify Chris Benoit, but if you don’t want people thinking about him, then just don’t bring stuff like that up at all. #20 is Mason Ryan, and he’s another Nexus guy. He actually manages to toss Khali all by his lonesome, as Booker T enters at #21, and the announcers act like it’s Hulk Hogan in 1987, or something. He runs wild for a bit, but gets dumped by Ryan. Boy, they were pushing him hard here, but that guy went nowhere. John Cena enters at #22, and I have a feeling the Nexus’ luck has just run out. Ryan is gone. Michael and David are gone, and suddenly Punk is all by himself again. #23 is Hornswoggle, as I guess they were really stretching to fill out the expanded field. Cena gets rid of Punk, and Tyson Kidd comes in at #24. Cena and Hornswoggle work together against him, and he’s gone. #25 is Heath Slater, but walks into another Cena/Hornswoggle double team, and he’s done. Kofi Kingston enters at #26, and Hornswoggle backs off to let them go. Jack Swagger draws #27, but doesn’t do much. Sheamus is #28, and dominates the field, managing to eliminate Hornswoggle. Rey Mysterio pulls #29, and he manages to eliminate Swagger. Wade Barrett enters at #30, but doesn’t do much. #31 is Dolph Ziggler, and the match is really started to drag at this point. There’s just no story anymore, with guys just jogging out, and blending into the punch/kick fest on the ropes. #32 is Diesel, and I’ll admit, I marked out a bit. #33 is Drew McIntyre, and he looks like a completely different person than he does in 2022. He works with Sheamus to pound on Diesel, as the crowd chants for Big Daddy Cool. Alex Riley enters at #34, as Barrett dumps Diesel to a big heel reaction. #35 is Big Show, as the crowd continues chanting for Diesel. Ezekiel Jackson draws #36, as Show dumps Drew. Jackson shoves Show out, as Santino Marella draws #37. Alberto Del Rio comes in at #38, and the announcers are putting him over so big and over the top that you just have to know he’s winning. #39 is Randy Orton, who attacks Del Rio in the aisle, since Alberto is still making his entrance. Orton starts spamming RKOs, and Kofi is gone, as is Sheamus. Kane draws #40 to round out the field, and that’s a wrap for Jackson. He grabs Rey next, but Mysterio sends him over the top with a headscissors! Barrett quickly shoves Rey out as well, and we’re down to John Cena, Wade Barrett, Alberto Del Rio, and Randy Orton as our final four. Not a bad field, though the crowd has lost patience with this thing. And them slowly working stuff isn’t helping. Miz sneaks into the ring to shove Cena out, leaving Orton to fight off the remaining two. He manages to toss Barrett, but Del Rio sneaks up on him, and Alberto wins at 68:38. Oh, but Santino was hiding underneath the ring, and he sneak attacks Del Rio. He nearly gets Alberto out, but Del Rio reverses him over the top for the real win at 69:50. That final four sequence was just way too long. A few decent spots, but once Cena cleared the Nexus guys out, the match lost it’s story thread, and it still had an entire second half to come. Overall, this was just way too long, and dragged significantly. ¾*

BUExperience: The Rumble match is always fun in its way (even if not always great in a workrate sense), but this version was too much of a good thing, and this was a dog of a show. 

DUD