WWF Superstars (December 24, 1994)

 

Original Airdate: December 24, 1994 (taped November 29)

From Poughkeepsie, New York; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Lex Luger v Chris Avery: Luger has a kid playing his flag bearer here. I like how they always gave Lex these customer facing roles, when he pretty obviously hated it. Knowing Vince’s sense of humor, it was probably intentional. Luger with the torture rack at 1:44. DUD

Live Event News is Stephanie Wiand taking a look at some sports memorabilia auction. Which, of course, featured an appearance from Ted DiBiase, since he somehow has become the ambassador of all things, despite being the top heel manager in the promotion

WWF Tag Team Title Tournament Quarterfinal Match: The Heavenly Bodies v The Bushwhackers: The state of the division: the Bushwhackers are in a title tournament match, and the result isn’t even obvious! The Bodies attack before the bell (thankfully sparing us the hongi bullshit), and they isolate Luke, going to work. Luke eventually dodges a bunch of drops from Tom Prichard to allow the hot tag to Butch, and he cleans house. Butch tries a bodyslam on Tom, but Jimmy Del Ray sweeps the leg, and Prichard topples Butch for the pin at 3:41. Quite the prestigious tournament thus far. But, hey, at least this sucked in four minutes, instead of ten. DUD

King Kong Bundy v Gary Scott: We get a fan doing the ring announcing for this one. Why did they usually do that for heel matches? You’d think it was a perfect set up for a babyface glad handing opportunity. It should have been exclusively for Luger matches. Bundy with an avalanche and a splash at 1:31. DUD

Todd Pettengill is in the studio for the Royal Rumble Report. I know it wasn’t critically well received, but selling the ‘fasted paced Rumble’ wasn’t a bad angle, especially with the roster they had

Jeff Jarrett v Scott Taylor: Vince complaining that Jarrett has a phony laugh is, perhaps, the ultimate pot-calling-kettle-black moment of all time. Jarrett with the figure four at 1:53. Jeff’s tinsel covered gear here is a must see, however. Though, it’s not quite the same without Gorilla Monsoon yelling about how he’s ‘shitting.’ DUD

Earlier this week, Vince sat down with WWF Champion Diesel in the WWF’s offices. And Diesel is in a sport jacket, and wishing the fans a happy holiday. The stuff with discussing the upcoming title defense against Bret Hart is strong and grounded in realism, but the baby kissing stuff is already grating 

Hakushi v Reno Riggins: The announcers constantly cracking jokes about what Hakushi’s full body tattoos say didn’t do him any favors. Like, why not put it over instead of making borderline racist jokes? Who does that help? He’s a heel! Hakushi with a flying headbutt drop at 2:31. They should have teamed him with Bam Bam Bigelow, they both had face tattoos and the same finish. They would have printed money! ¼*

Kama vignette

Doink the Clown v Sonny Pruitt: No entrances, which is another small mercy. The announcers discuss a segment with Pamela Anderson that we didn’t see, so I’m guessing there was some clipping on this Network version. Doink with a flying sunset flip at 1:47. Doink had nothing going on at this point, and I don’t think he had another major angle after this, so he just gives out presents to kids in the crowd instead. Well, it’s a living. DUD

Live Event News is Wiand running down the tag title tournament. Man, Charlie Minn flamed out really quickly. Even on the Joe Fowler scale

Shawn Michaels comes out to complain about the Heartbreak Hotel being preempted, and promising Undertaker as his guest next time

We close with Vince giving Lawler his Christmas present, in the form of a Burger King crown. Would it have killed them to put it in an unmarked box? Domino Sugar?!?

Oh, but no, we actually close with Diesel conducting the entire front office staff in singing ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas.’ Stunning

BUExperience: This did nothing for me, but I didn’t hate it.