WWF Superstars & Stripes Forever (March 17, 1991)

 

Original Airdate: March 17, 1991 (taped March 11)

From Pensacola, Florida; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Mr. Perfect v Shawn Michaels: Embarrassingly empty building for TV here. Perfect is dismissive of his challenger at the bell, so Shawn challenges him to put 'em up, and Perfect is game. Michaels wins that exchange, so Perfect tries to bail, but Shawn keeps pounding him as he does, then dives with a crazy tope suicida. He way overshot that one, and he's lucky he didn't break his neck. Michaels with mounted punches on the floor, but a charge ends badly when Perfect drops him across the rail, drawing Marty Jannetty out to check on him. Shawn beats the count in, but Perfect is ready and waiting with right hands. He uses a standing dropkick for two, and unloads chops in the corner. Cross corner whip flips Shawn out to the apron for a clothesline, and Perfect pulls him back in to bash into the mat a bunch of times. Kneelift sends Shawn back to the outside, and the challenger is doing a great job of selling this so far. Marty helps him beat the count, but Perfect is ready with a snapmare to set up a somersault necksnap for two. Backdrop, but Shawn throws a boot to block - giving Perfect a chance to sell. Perfect cuts off the comeback with a sleeper, but Shawn escapes with a jawbreaker, so Perfect throws a big kneelift to buy more time. He wastes time jawing at Marty, however, and Jannetty straight up decks him. That draws Bobby Heenan out to complain, and shit, man's got a point. Jannetty put his hands on the champion in a title match without any real provocation. All this buys Shawn recovery time, and he crotches Perfect on the post. Inverted atomic drop and a standard atomic drop send Perfect bumping into the corner, and Shawn slugs him down for two. Superkick gets two, and a swinging neckbreaker sets up a flying fistdrop, so Heenan charges him. Shawn is able to dodge him, but the distraction buys the champion time. PerfectPlex looks to finish, but Big Boss Man runs in for the DQ at 10:16. Perfect/Shawn underwhelming? I'm surprised too. Afterwards, Andre the Giant shows up, and offers Boss Man his hand. I guess that means Boss Man will have some backup against the Heenan Family at WrestleMania. ** 

Gene Okerlund hosts an in-ring contract signing between Randy Savage and Ultimate Warrior for their Retirement Match at WrestleMania, presided over by President Jack Tunney. Who is that one random woman in the group of nameless officials? And why does Warrior keep shoving her, the jerk. So both guys cut promos, sign… and suddenly Undertaker is making his way out. He stands in the ring and stares Warrior down, apparently at Savage’s direction, as he’s enlisted Undertaker to put the ‘finishing touches’ on Warrior after he beats him at WrestleMania. I never realized they were teasing Warrior/Undertaker on TV before they got to WrestleMania

Davey Boy Smith v Jim Corbett: ‘Can a dude break the full nelson’ was the basis for a surprising amount of WrestleMania feuds, back in the day. Bobby wonders if he needs to have his eyes checked, or if Davey is ‘getting bigger by the minute.’ No, Bobby, your eyes are just fine. Smith with the running powerslam at 1:31. DUD

Jake Roberts doesn’t appreciate that Rick Martel blinded him. What a stick in the mud

Blindfold Match: Rick Martel v Koko B. Ware: They can’t wait for the masks, and get into it right away, with Koko cleaning house. The referee restores order, and gets Koko in his hood, but Martel attacks him before putting on his, and delivers a beatdown to the blind Ware. Heenan, of course, thinks this is the funniest thing that has ever happened. Martel rams him into the post a few times, and the referee finally gets his hood on. How is all that not an automatic DQ? So, they crawl around, trying to find one another, as Vince tries to sell the pay per view, by noting that this is what we’ll be seeing between Martel and Roberts at WrestleMania. No wonder the numbers were down. They crawl around for under a minute, before Koko ends up in a Boston crab at 3:59. DUD

Roddy Piper brings Ted DiBiase out for a podium interview, and Piper asks the question I’ve been asking since I was nine years old: if he’s a millionaire, why can’t he afford a shirt that covers his back? DiBiase fumes, but wants to get to the business at hand: calling Virgil a ‘gutter rat.’ That leads to Roddy calling Virgil out to join them, and mean words are exchanged

Greg Valentine v Scott Allen: The announcers acting like Valentine was anything more than a glorified jobber at this point, and actually hyping his WrestleMania match is pretty cute. Greg with the figure four at 2:54. DUD

WWF Champion Sgt. Slaughter is going to burn Hulk Hogan to the ground at WrestleMania… that is, if General Adnan leaves him anything after tonight

Hogan is ready to take Adnan into the combat zone

Hulk Hogan v General Adnan: Adnan attacks before the bell, and unloads a lengthy series of backrakes. He’s like Hulk on steroids! Or, well, you get it. He keeps scratching, until Hulk gets mad, and clotheslines him. That draws Sgt. Slaughter in, and he clobbers Hulk with the title belt for the DQ at 1:02. The heels beat on him after the bell, and put him in the camel clutch, until officials are able to intervene. Dig Pat Patterson in that blue suit and white sneakers, looking like Paulie Walnuts! This wasn’t really a match, just an angle. DUD

WrestleMania VII ad

Okerlund catches up with Slaughter and Adnan backstage, who are laughing it up

Backstage, the Nasty Boys promise to take the WWF Tag Team title at WrestleMania 

Bret Hart v Brian Knobbs: Vince refers to Knobbs as ‘Brian Sags,’ which is the sort of thing he’d probably fire someone else over. Heenan wrecks him over it, though. Posturing to start, as Bobby notes that he’ll be cheering for Slaughter at WrestleMania, because he’s ‘not anti-American,’ he’s ‘anti-Hogan.’ Bret gets control, and an inverted atomic drop sets up a jumping backelbow to knock Knobbs to the outside. That was nicely executed, I wonder why we didn’t see Bret do that more. Knobbs goes to the eyes on his way back in, but a clothesline misses, and Bret bodypresses him. Hart stays on him with mounted punches, and Brian bails. Jim Neidhart forces him back inside, and Bret armdrags him into an armbar. Interference from Jerry Sags allows Knobbs to turn it around, however, and he goes to work. Heenan suggests that they have more than one referee out there for the tag match at WrestleMania, so I guess working with Monsoon was rubbing off on him. Bret makes a comeback, and a Russian legsweep gets him two. A snap suplex is worth two, and a backbreaker sets up a 2nd rope pointed elbowdrop, so Sags hits Neidhart on the outside. Bret stays focused, so Sags trips him up, and that allows Knobbs a piledriver for two. Sags tries to interfere again, but Neidhart takes him out this time, and Bret delivers a hangman clothesline at 8:47. This was solid enough. *

Okerlund brings Hulk out for a podium interview, and he’s looking like he’s still suffering after the attack earlier. Not so badly that he hasn’t put on a fresh outfit, and can’t play to the crowd, though. He declares war on Slaughter, and dedicates the WrestleMania match to the troops

Undertaker v Tugboat: Undertaker kickstarts things, and uses a cross corner whip to set up a corner splash. Tugboat is so fat that poor Undertaker nearly bounced off of him on that. Tugboat tries a slam, but gets toppled, so Undertaker tries an elbowdrop, but misses. A criss cross allows Undertaker a jumping clothesline, and he chokes Tugboat down. Undertaker lands a kneedrop, but misses another elbowdrop, and Tugboat powerslams him. He adds an avalanche, but a second one misses, and Undertaker dives with a flying elbowdrop at 3:26. Undertaker was working hard here. ¼*

Sgt. Slaughter/Hulk Hogan hype video

BUExperience: This was a really fun hype special, with every segment having a purpose, and nothing overstaying its welcome. Good stuff.