Chair Shots and Miscarriages of Justice: WWE WrestleMania 32

(Editors note: Please join me in welcoming (in my best Howard Finkel voice): NEW BUExperience communist, Douuubllle M!  Double M is another of us old school fans, and someone I’ve known for going on twenty years now. We often compare notes on wrestling, and I always find his reactions to be both insightful and entertaining. And, on top of that, he’s one of the greatest guys you could ever want to know, and I couldn’t be more excited to have Chair Shots and Miscarriages of Justice here on the BUExperience. And I’m sure you all will, too!)

Welcome to a new area of the BUExperience:  Chair Shots and Miscarriages of Justice.  Where our ringmaster will provide the nitty gritty details of each big event, this area will back-seat-drive faster than Bobby the Brain, the construction of The King, the fun of the Macho Man [we hope] and, um, well I don’t really know how to tie JBL into this but DAMN!!! It’ll be fun!

Each event will feature 4 areas.

-Best and worst matches:  Which match made us [well me] jump with excitement and was the most entertaining, which match was deemed best time to utilize the facilities or refill my beverage

-Best and worst moments:  May be match related, may be something that happened, may be something in between, who knows!!  

At the conclusion I will rate the event on “The Scale of Angry”.  The scale goes from 1-10, with 1 being the best event ever, and 10 being it pissed me off so much I went looking for small animals to punt off a balcony while leaving a path of destruction along the way.  

Comments and reactions are not only welcomed but, as long as they’re clean and constructive, encouraged!  Grab a foreign object, come on down the aisle and join the melee!  Let’s have some fun and go bananas!

~Double M

CHAIR SHOTS AND MISCARRIAGES OF JUSTICE

WRESTLEMANIA 32

The pageantry, the spectacle, the mecca of sports entertainment with the world watching and good grief did it look like the whole world was there.  Hit the music and que The Fink here we go:  

BEST MATCH:  I loved the opening ladder match. The evolution of the ladder match from the Michaels/ Razor days, to the attitude era to today it’s incredible.  You'd almost expect WWE to pigeon hole this for high flyers and risk takers only, not so.  Great creativity and intensity throughout, how appropriate that Owens was left alone and he taunted the whole time.  The hate with him and Zayn feels so genuine, I hope the creative staff doesn't rush this or over do it too soon, at Rumble and now Mania I love the hate-fire they've got for each other.  It’s such a relatable thing we all have someone like that.  The moment you see them you’re thinking ‘oh God not them’ and just seeing them gaaaahhhh!  The ending was a bit of a surprise with Ryder basically coming out of nowhere to knock off Miz.  Both these guys annoy the hell out of me, but I can tolerate Miz more bc, while he comes across as a genuine asshole, he has a reason to be because the WWE Universe sees him as a joke.  As opposed to Ryder who reminds me of that unjustifiably cocky douchebag you see at the bar who ends up going home with the girl you were after.  Anyway kudos to Ryder for taking advantage of Miz’s stupidity.  

Here's my one beef with the match, and one that’s bugged me for a while: Everyone talks about the prestige of the Intercontinental Title, the honor and privilege of holding the strap because of who held it in yesteryear, but good God it's been passed around more than Stephanie in the last couple years.  Owens gets a great pop for heel and can run his mouth as good as any, I’ve seen him drop it 3 times in the past 2 ppv events where he held it.  Maybe it’s the white and he thinks it clashes with his all black-bad-guy persona, find someone and let them run with it!!

WORST MATCH:  It saddens me to say this but the Hell in a Cell.  The writing was on the wall I know, both guys are too old to be doing a match like this, kudos for trying but dear god did this thing slow down in a hurry!!  7 years ago this match could easily have been one of the top 5 Mania matches of all-time with Shane’s sneakiness and Taker’s power.  The match we saw had both combatants spent within the first 5 minutes.  Shane took about half the show to get up the cage and jump to his doom.  Taker has taken ‘The Deadman’ moniker and basically made it about as literal as it gets.  I love the mystique of the Undertaker but it’s probably time for the Deadman to ride off into the sunset.  The argument could be made they had enough material for a 10-15 minute match but had to stretch it to twice that WITHOUT outside interference.  I know Vince was very confident that Shane had ‘no chance in hell’, but we’ve seen Vince utilize a plan B before for less much like his son-in-law and daughter.  Which that said…….  

MOST DISAPPOINTING MOMENT:  How was there not outside interference for either of the main events?  I was sold shit was going down with one, possibly both, of those matches.  No I don’t count Stephanie jumping on the apron to distract the ref, I’m talking good ol’ fashioned McMahon get the gang together and stir shit up interference.  Vince had a plan B for situations like he was in with Shane before [Reference Bret Hart, Austin, The Rock, CM Punk etc....] and we’ve seen Vince do worse for less.  Same goes for Stephanie and HHH.  No DX, no Clique, no Shawn Michaels, no Wyatt Family or any other henchmen to ruin the day for Shane or Reigns zip, zilch, NADA!!!

BEST MOMENT:  Hands down the end of the New Day/ League of Nations match. I saw rumors of HBK and Austin making an appearance [which made sense with Mania being in Texas].  I admit to saying ‘oh wow’ when Michaels music hit [I was guessing HHH’s match with Reigns the more likely appearance], but when the tires started screeching and out came Mrs. Foley's baby boy???  To quote Jerry the King: “WHAT?!?!?!” Then Austin coming out too oh baby business was about to pick up to a total stand up off the couch moment.  The dance party at the end was great, I think everybody knew Austin was going to Stun someone on New Day it was just a matter of who.  It's like a comedy you've seen a thousand times, you know what's coming, and it's still hilarious when it happens.  In honor of that moment let’s take a pause for a beer.

PARTING SHOTS:

This was the first Wrestlemania I saw in real time, and I did enjoy Mania on the whole despite it taking 3 days to watch.  If you made it through the whole pre-show AND ppv congrats you won an Iron Man Match against the WWE Creative Team!!  

I didn't care for the Women's Triple Threat at first, but after reading a couple reviews I had to go back for a re-watch and I'm glad I did.  Slow to start like I remembered but it picked up steam nicely as it unfolded.  How has none of the other women called Charlotte out for not being able to win a match without daddy's help yet?  Extreme Rules is coming up after all is a possible women’s cage match coming......  

Give Ambrose a win!!! I guess WWE felt bad having Ryback lose to Kalisto in the pre-show, but let the crazy guy take a big ppv win.  Andre the Giant Rumble should've been the last match on pre-show [only reason I can think of for giving it ppv time was to give Corbin a bump]. Styles/ Jericho was decent, but I think it fell victim to what happened to Sting last year seemingly overwhelmed by the size of Wrestlemania [not that I blame him].  

Angry Rating Scale: 4

~Double M