WWF WrestleMania 2

After the massive success of the first WrestleMania, the WWF had the heavy task of having to follow their own act. WrestleMania 2 was promised as an even bigger, even more star studded event (with so many celebrities and pseudo-celebrities on hand, they were hard to keep track of) – this time broadcasting live from three locations in three time zones, as well as airing on closed circuit.

While the event was a terrific success, the decision to run three venues has been universally derided, though it was certainly ambitious – competing with the NWA (Starrcade ’85 had aired live from two venues), trying to jump the bar set with the first WrestleMania, and the idea that the WWF (now a national wrestling promotion) would take its flagship show literally across the country – with live matches from New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles.

From Uniondale, New York - Chicago, Illinois - and Los Angles California; Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful in New York to kick things off.

Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Susan St. James in New York; Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, and Cathy Lee Crosby in Chicago; and Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, and Elvira in LA. St. James, Crosby, and Elvira are all celebrity guest commentators with little/no knowledge of the product (think Art Donovan) other than that it’s giving them paid exposure, so they play along.


Part I: New York

Opening Match: Paul Orndorff v Don Muraco: They spend a while sizing each other up before Orndorff tries a side-headlock - only to get slammed. He returns fire with one of his own, and makes blatant racial slurs (slanting his eyes back) at Muraco manager Mr. Fuji. And the crowd loves it! Ah, the 80s. Or, 'ah, racists.' Whichever. Orndorff with a backdrop to set up an armbar - which he holds through several counter attempts. Samoan drop breaks it up for Muraco, but a slugfest goes Orndorff's way, and they spill over the top to the floor - both getting counted out at 4:33. The crowd understandably gives them a loud 'bullshit' chant in response. This never got going, with a bad ending to boot. Bad opener. ¼*

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Randy Savage v George Steele: Simpleminded Steele had put the moves on Miss Elizabeth in the weeks prior to set this up. What Steele failed to realize is that adultery is only acceptable when the man does it. Also, it's for adults - Steele wouldn't qualify. Steele chases Savage to the floor by bringing the crazy - Savage responding in typical macho bully fashion: threatening him from a safe distance. Chase ends with Steele catching Savage in a leg-bite (McMahon: 'Animal, I believe, gnawing on the calf...'), and inside, Steele unloads. He gets distracted with Elizabeth, however, and Savages ties him in the ropes for some abuse. Flying bodypress gets two, but Steele is a MAN IN LOVE!!! and throws Savage to the outside. More biting - this time the bicep (it's like psychology for retards), so Savage grabs a bouquet of ropes, and slaps Steele across the face. Not surprisingly, that gets no-sold, and Steele bites some more, before whacking Savage with the flowers in return - which he DOES sell. Well... maybe... he got... caught with a... thorn? Steele tears apart a turnbuckle to use the stuffing to blind Savage, but ends up distracted by Liz again, and hit with a flying axehandle. Flying Elbowdrop only gets two, and grabs (in McMahon's own words) 'a handful of... face' - so Savage supermarket sweeps him, and retains with two feet on the ropes at 7:08. These two had a bunch of matches throughout 1986 - and literally none of them were any good. This was no exception. DUD

Jake Roberts v George Wells: This was very early into Jake's WWF run. Wells tries to jump him on the way in, and hits a diving shoulderblock followed by a series of cross corner whips. Headscissors takedown, as Jake pinballs around the ring, and a powerslam gets Wells two. Thumb to the eyes turns the tide, and Jake unloads a kneelift before dropping him with the DDT at 3:06. Total squash, but energetic. ½*

Boxing Match: Roddy Piper v Mr. T: This acts as the main event of the New York portion - with Joan Rivers as the guest ring announcer, Burger King's 'Herb' as the time keeper, and special judges G. Gordon Liddy, Cab Calloway, and Darryl Dawkins at ringside. T brings Joe Frazier with him - so hopefully no one blades here.
ROUND ONE: Three minutes per round here, and both guys get right to it - trading guarded jabs. T powers him into the corner for some body shots, with Piper scuffling around as the bell sounds to end the first round. Pretty even round. 
ROUND TWO: They start to go at it, but the referee pulls Piper back - making him clean his face off, as he's covered himself in Vaseline. Back to business, Piper unloads on him, but T gets off the ropes - so Piper forces him into the corner, and swings a bit right hand to knock T off of his feet. He beats the count up, but Piper keeps wailing on him as time expires. That round belonged to Piper.
ROUND THREE: Piper pal Bob Orton (father of current WWE Superstar Randy Orton) throws a bucket of water at T between rounds to psych him out, but it only enrages him (shocking), and he takes Piper to school in the corner - leaving him slumped on the ropes. Big left hand leaves Piper on the floor, but he makes it back in for a bit more abuse before the round ends - unquestionably in T's favor.
ROUND FOUR: Piper whips (and I mean whips) his stool (the seat, not his shits) at T between rounds, and both men staredown in the middle of the ring - trading rights and lefts. T starts to control, so Piper reaches over and bodyslams him for the disqualification at 13:20 - which actually makes sense, since he was punch-drunk, and acting on instinct. Also, he's a heel. I've seen many (too many) pro-wrestling 'boxing matches,' and this was on par with the others - which is another way of saying that it wasn't very good. That being said, both guys had the charisma to carry this, and make it feel like a spectacle. DUD

Part II: Chicago

WWF Women's Title Match: Fabulous Moolah v Velvet McIntyre: Moolah jumps her at the bell, and hits a series of well executed hairpull-snapmares. McIntyre tries to come back with a pair of dropkicks and a bodyslam, but misses a flying splash, and Moolah retains at 0:59. Blink and you'd miss it - though I'm not a fan of classic Women's wrestling, so fine by me. ¼*

Flag Match: Nikolai Volkoff v Corporal Kirchner: Winner raises his county's flag. Volkoff takes the advantage by basically charging him with his hip, then takes him the floor to help him blade, using a shot to the post as the kayfabe reason he's busted Kirchner open. Inside, Volkoff tries to use manager Freddie Blassie's cane, but Kirchner gets hold of it, and gets the pin at 1:36. For America! Man, we're just blowing through this now, aren't we? DUD

20-Man Wrestling v Football Battle Royal: The gimmick here is that WWF stars take on the best of the NFL. Dick Butkus and Ed Jones are guest referees, and Wendy's spokesperson Clara Peller (who misses her cue entirely, and ends up shouting her catchphrase into dead air - using the microphone as a baton) is the time keeper. Ernie Ladd provides guest commentary - as he had been successful as both a pro-football player, and pro-wrestler. We've got: Ted Arcidi, Tony Atlas, The Killer Bees, Andre the Giant, Hillbilly Jim, The Hart Foundation, the Iron Sheik, King Tonga, Pedro Morales, Bruno Sammartino, Danny Spivey, Big John Studd, Jimbo Covert, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, Ernie Holmes, Harvey Martin, and William Perry. Standard punchy-kicky battle royal stuff here, with the NFL guys sorta sticking together - but the wrestlers in-fighting left and right. Big spot, as Studd dumps William Perry (Chicago Bear player, and the undisputed crowd favorite), so Perry offers a handshake - only to tug Studd out anyway. Down to Andre, Russ Francis, and The Hart Foundation, and I'd say the NFL's chances aren't looking good here. The Harts get Andre tied in the ropes to keep him docile, and casually toss Francis. Meanwhile, Andre unties himself, and it's only a matter of time - Jim Neidhart going first, and Bret Hart getting press slammed out onto him at 9:03 - an ending Hart suggested to Andre before the match, which was practically considered an act of sacrilege at the time. Again, not a good match, but it felt like a spectacle - especially at the time. ¼*

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Dream Team v The British Bulldogs: The Bulldogs have Ozzy Osbourne with them for morale support, and this acts as the main event for Chicago - though it was sort of on equal footing with the Battle Royal. Greg Valentine starts with Davey Boy Smith, and gets quickly overpowered. Tag to Dynamite Kid to keep unloading on Valentine, and he hits a crisp snap suplex before bringing Davey Boy back in for a hanging vertical version - getting two. Greg bails to the floor to regroup, and manages to railroad Davey into the corner on the way back in, and blow him low. That allows him to get the much needed tag off to Brutus Beefcake, and he works an armbar - only to get press slammed by Davey as a counter. Tag to Kid for a series of chops, and an inside cradle gets two. Davey with a fisherman's suplex for two, but he can't properly cut the ring in half with a front-facelock, and Brutus tags. Valentine with a suplex of his own for two, and he goes to a chinlock - but he, too, fails to cut the ring in half, and Davey takes full advantage with a tag. Kid fires off closed fists, and a shoulderblock gets two. Only Dynamite Kid could get away with a shoulderblock there - guy's got the worst case of Short Man's syndrome in history, even making Napoleon look well adjusted. Kid with a suplex for two, and a kneedrop for two, but he loses a slugfest, and Valentine piledrives him for two. Gene Okerlund: 'Ozzy Osbourne is shaking at ringside.' No shit! Low blow slows Greg down, and a slam off of the top really takes the pep out of his step - but Beefcake makes the save, triggering a four-way brawl. Davey tries to press slam Kid onto Valentine, but Greg bails, so Davey settles for a running powerslam for two. Suplex gets two, but a cross corner whip gets reversed - and Davey flies into the corner, shoulder first. Valentine stomps the hell out of it, and tags Beefcake to help work it over with his visually impressive release hammerlock slams. Greg with a shoulderbreaker for two, but he opts to get cocky instead of covering - so Davey whips him into Kid (sending him flying off of the apron to the floor), and rolls Valentine up for the titles at 12:03. A bit one-sided, but a crisp, well paced match - non-formulaic, and filled with fun spots. *** ¼

Part III: Los Angeles

Hercules v Ricky Steamboat: This was originally booked as Steamboat/Bret Hart, but was reshuffled a few weeks prior. Herc jumps him with a high knee during the ring intros, but gets caught with a knife-edge out of a criss cross, and Ricky takes him down with an armdrag/armbar combo. Another criss cross sees them nearly botch Steamboat's somersault counter spot (out of a sidewalk slam), but they cover nicely - and finish the sequence with Ricky getting him back in an armbar on the mat. Another criss cross ends with Ricky hitting a backelbow, and he follows with a suplex before going back to the armbar. Herc manages a bearhug/stungun combo to turn the tide (yep, dropping a dude throat first onto a taut cable will generally do that for you), and Hercules fires off closed fists. Pair of elbowdrops get two, so Steamboat starts throwing chops - but gets leveled with a lariat for two. Pair of press slams (guy got OCD, or something?), but a flying splash hits the knees, and Steamboat hits a flying bodypress for the pin at 7:34. Nothing special, but well paced. ¾*

Uncle Elmer v Adrian Adonis: Elmer uses his size advantage to pinball Adrian around (with Adonis taking that quite literally - bouncing around like everything around him is made of rubber), and an avalanche hits. Legdrop doesn't, however, and Adrian hits a flying fistdrop for the pin at 3:04. Adonis' overselling carried this - though not far. ¼*

Tito Santana and The Junkyard Dog v Terry Funk and Hoss Funk: Terry throws a bunch of chairs around before things get going - apparently having time traveled back from his ECW run. Inappropriate, Terry! Inappropriate! Dog starts with Hoss (Dory Funk), and easily throws both him and Terry around - cleaning house. The dust settles on Santana and Terry, and Funk fires off chops - but gets clotheslined over the top. Pair of dropkicks put Hoss out there with him, and Tito tags JYD. Slugfest goes his way, and he leaves Terry punch-drunk with a big series of turnbuckle smashes. Headbutt gets two, and there's the tag to Dory. He gets caught in a side-headlock right away, but fires off a series of uppercuts to slow Santana down - only to run into the jumping forearm for two - broken up by Terry. The Funk's bail to regroup, and a cheap shot from Terry leaves Tito flat on his back. The Funk's cut the ring in half, but Terry misses a legdrop, and Tito scrambles for the tag. Doghouse of fire, so Terry tries to choke him with the tag rope - only to get backdropped over the top onto the exposed concrete. JYD throws him into the timekeepers table (taking it out, along with a stack of chairs), and an inside cradle triggers a four-way brawl. In the chaos, Funky manager Jimmy Hart passes Terry the megaphone (literally - it could have been one of the NFL players throwing the way Jimmy pitched that thing in there), and that's enough to finish Dog at 11:43. Fun match - Terry bumping around like a madman (I'm telling you, time travel), and hard work all around. * ¼

Main Event: WWF Title Cage Match: Hulk Hogan v King Kong Bundy: Bundy campaigned for a title shot for months, but was rebuffed before finally attacking Hogan on Saturday Night's Main Event to set this up. Tommy LaSorda acts as guest ring announcer, Robert Conrad is the guest referee, and Ricky Schroder is the time keeper - as apparently Ronald McDonald was unavailable. This is the first appearance of the 'Blue Bar' cage that became the WWF standard by the time I got into wrestling during the early-90s. Big slugfest to start - going Hogan's way - and he hits the big boot early. He chokes Bundy with the strap of his own tights, and hits a cross corner clothesline to set up a series of chops. Hogan continues to unload, but can't get Bundy off of his feet - especially when the challenger starts kicking at Hogan's bad ribs (injured during the aforementioned SNME attack). Bundy takes over and goes for the door, but Hogan grabs his ankle to stop the effort. Bundy responds by slamming him into the cage, but the Hulkster stops another try for the door - so Bundy hammers the ribs. They repeat the 'Bundy goes for the door, Hogan stops him, gets hammered' sequence a couple more times, finally ending with Hogan ramming him into the cage - triggering a blatant on-camera bladejob from Bundy. Hogan works the cut, but the obligatory bodyslam attempt gets him toppled, and Bundy hits the Avalanche. Splash leaves Hogan writhing, but that's just the Power of Hulkamania coursing through his veins, brother! Another Avalanche, but Hogan's full-on HULKING UP!! Powerslam! Legdrop! Escape! - but Bundy meets him at the top, so Hogan properly shoves him off before finishing his climb at 10:18. Basically the same match Hulk had with Vader at Bash at the Beach ten years later - though the formula was still exactly what the fans wanted to see back in 1986. Not reinventing the wheel here, but it was well paced, and as noted, the fans were still captivated by Hogan's formula matches. *

BUExperience: In many ways this WrestleMania was much more about the three town gimmick and the bevy of celebrities, than the actual card. While interesting, this lineup certainly wouldn’t have cut it as ‘WrestleMania’ if they rebooked it today – Hogan/Piper the logical match they passed over in place of a rather thrown together Hogan/Bundy showdown, likely not helped by the three town gimmick forcing them to distribute star power.

WrestleMania was far from the global juggernaut it is today (production values were especially shoddy this time around, with the sound either muddled or over amplified, and lots of ‘let’s pass it to Joe Blow’ and the production team missing their cues), but the event felt like a spectacle, and was a lot of fun – even if the wrestling doesn’t hold up, and is notably rushed in many spots. ***