WWF Battle Royal at Albert Hall (October 1991)

After the success of UK Rampage earlier that year, the WWF returned to the UK that fall for another exclusive pay per view, this time from the world famous Royal Albert Hall.

From London England; Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan.


Opening Match: The Rockers v The Nasty Boys: Yep, the Nasty Boys. I'm sure that's exactly what Queen Victoria envisioned when she commissioned the place. Shawn Michaels starts off with Jerry Sags, and gets overpowered into the corner, so he starts outrunning Sags, and blasts him with a superkick. That triggers a quick four-way brawl, and the Rockers clean house when Marty Jannetty takes both Nasties down with a flying clothesline. Another Nasty double-team attempt ends with the Rockers dropkicking them out, and they tease walking out before beating the count. The dust settles on Jannetty and Brian Knobs - Marty catching him with a sunset flip for two. Tag to Sags, but he quickly gets caught in a front-facelock on the mat, and an armbar when he tries to power out. Shawn crotches him on the ringpost for good measure, and hits an inverted atomic drop - but Knobs pulls the top rope down on a criss cross, and Michaels goes flying to the floor. That allows the Nasties to work him over, cutting the ring in half with punch-kick stuff. Double-team backfires, however, and Marty's a crackhouse of fire - taking out both Nasties while Shawn lies limp in the corner. He gets overwhelmed when Nasty manager Jimmy Hart's megaphone gets involved, however, and gets pinned at 16:21. Not much of a match, but the crowd enjoyed the heat segment on Shawn enough. ½*

Ric Flair v Tito Santana: Flair still has the NWA World Title with him at this point - building towards what should have been a big showdown with WWF Champion Hulk Hogan. Flair tries taunting Tito in the corner out of the initial lockup, and ends up getting paintbrushed for his troubles before Tito blasts him with a shoulderblock to put him on the outside. Back in, they fight over a wristlock (Flair dominating by using the hair, of course), but Tito threatens a closed fist to get him to back off. He tries it again anyway - and gets decked then backdropped. Dropkick sends Flair rolling to the floor to break the momentum, but Tito is right on him with a shot into the rail. Sunset flip back in for two, and a droptoe-hold allows Tito to try for the Figure Four - only for Ric to grab the ropes. Tito keeps after the knee anyway, and tries a ten-punch in the corner, but gets atomic dropped. Flair shindrop gets two, and he sneaks in a few more pinfall attempts with two feet on the ropes. Chopfest goes Santana's way, and Flair Flips into a clothesline on the apron. Santana with a suplex, and a backslide for two - so Flair goes to the eyes to slow him down. Side suplex sets up the Figure Four, and despite all of Flair's pulling on the ropes for leverage, Tito manages to reverse. Clothesline puts Flair on the floor, and a bodyslam brings him back in for two. Clothesline for two, and the diving forearm - but Ric's in the ropes. He tries a reverse rollup instead, but Flair reverses, hooks the tights, and gets the pin at 16:14. Much like their other matches from this period, it was solid - but not as good as it sounded on paper. *

Big Bossman v Earthquake: Power-showdown is all Earthquake, so Bossman starts wildly throwing punches, and dodges a blind charge for two. Side-headlock, and since Earthquake doesn't have much hair, Bossman holds him firm using his facial hair - in a nice touch. Bossman with a strange 1^st rope axehandle, so he goes back for a more logical 2^nd rope version to take 'Quake off of his feet. Flying bodypress, but Earthquake impressively catches him in midair and powerslams him. 'Quake uses his ass to work Bossman over, and hooks a bearhug at center ring, but quickly switches to a chinlock since apparently even a bearhug is too much effort outside of the States. Bossman tries to power out, but gets shoulderblocked to the outside for his efforts, and tossed into the steps for good measure. Back in, Earthquake with an avalanche, but Bossman slips through his fingers coming out of the ropes (probably because they're both so tired and sweaty - this is going on way too long), and Earthquake takes an enzuigiri for two. Series of clotheslines tie 'Quake up in the ropes, drawing the Mountie out to distract Bossman, and Earthquake pins him with a simple elbowdrop at 15:47. Who the fuck booked this to go sixteen minutes?! I mean, even on paper, when did that ever sound like a good idea? ¼*

The Mountie v The Texas Tornado: Tornado (Kerry Von Erich) was looking worse and worse by the day at this point - though he compensates by getting even BIGGER tassels for his boots. Mountie tries all sorts of tricks out of the initial lockup, but Tornado knows the counter to them all: punch him in the face. Mountie teases walking out in response, as the crowd mercilessly taunts him. Geez, you'd think he'd at least get a little love back in England, but no - they're firmly behind the Dixie prison guard in this feud. Inside, Mountie with a sleeper, but Tornado eventually reverses, as this resthold MUST CONTINUE! Tornado ends up posting himself as Mountie breaks the hold, and a closed fist sends him spiraling to the floor. Mountie rams him into the steps out there, so Tornado tries the Discus Punch - only to ram his hand into the ringpost when Mountie sidesteps. Inside, Tornado tries to make a comeback, but Mountie sweeps him off his feet, and pins him with rope leverage at 13:16.  Really dull stuff, just kinda ambling along in no particular direction until it was time to go home. DUD

The Undertaker v Jim Duggan: In a nice touch, an organist dressed as the Phantom of the Opera plays Undertaker down live. Duggan still brings Old Glory, of course, something Hulk Hogan even opted against during the last tour - and that was against an Iraqi sympathizer, not a nomadic zombie. Duggan controls with right hands early on, but gets stunned on the ropes and choked. Duggan tries more closed fists, but gets choked again, and caught with the ropewalk forearm. Duggan tries an inverted atomic drop and ten-punch count to turn the tide, but Paul Bearer (with the Undertaker at this point, for those Bearer-tracking) steals his security blanket 2x4, and 'Taker uses the distraction to nail him with a jumping clothesline. Doesn't matter, though, as Duggan steals the 2x4 back, and bops 'Taker with it for a disqualification at 6:18. Duggan was definitely getting the reaction they were going for, but more and more of the crowd was already starting to get behind the Undertaker - his face turn only a few months later. Match was thankfully short - I don't even want to imagine what this would have been like had they gotten fifteen minutes like everyone else so far. DUD

WWF Tag Team Title Match: The Legion of Doom v Power and Glory: Hawk's mustache is extra porny tonight - really putting on the ritz for the Royal Hall. He challenges Paul Roma to a test-of-strength to start, and though Roma is the 'Glory' in Power and Glory - he actually takes it. It does not go well. Hawk with a dropkick to put Roma on the floor, and he cracks him with a neckbreaker on the way back in. Fistdrop gets two, and both men tag - Animal and Hercules doing a power-stalemate. After a few dozen clotheslines, Animal passes back to Hawk, and he unloads on Hercules in the corner. Roma suckers him into a piledriver, but Hawk promptly no-sells that, and press slams him into Hercules. Flying clothesline, but Roma dodges, and Hawk goes crashing all the way to the outside off of it. Hercules meets him with a slam onto the rail, but Hawk shrugs off their attempts at cutting the ring in half, and tags Animal. Powerslam finishes Roma at 9:08. Pretty much a squash, this was the last 'major' appearance of P&G - Roma disappearing from TV not long after. ¼*

Davey Boy Smith v The Barbarian: Lord Alfred Hayes serves as the guest ring announcer, though he's only a 'guest' in the same sense a rapist is. Big power-stalemate to start, until Barbarian misses a blind charge, and gets dropkicked to the floor. Inside, Smith with an armbar, but he walks into a big boot out of the ropes, and gets posted on the outside. Chinlock, but Davey powers up, so Barbarian piledrives him for two. 2nd rope elbowdrop misses (when doesn't it?), and Davey's BARKING UP!! Clothesline! Hanging Vertical Suplex! Ten-Punch Count! Running Powerslam! 10:07! The crowd was all over Davey, obviously, but I only wish they found him a more interesting opponent. Slow, restholdy, TV-formula stuff here. DUD

Main Event: 20-Man Battle Royal: This is for no other reason than holding a battle royal in a house of royalty. We've got: The Texas Tornado, Tito Santana, The Mountie, The Barbarian, Big Bossman, Jim Duggan, Ric Flair, Davey Boy Smith, The Undertaker, Roddy Piper, Power and Glory, The Rockers, The Natural Disasters, The Nasty Boys, and The Legion of Doom. Standard punch-kick battle royal fare - Flair getting into it with Piper in no time, and the Natural Disasters using their size to toss guys around. It gets down to Davey Boy, Bossman, Mountie, and Typhoon, and of course, Davey Boy wins it - last eliminating Typhoon at 14:39. Afterwards, the Natural Disasters jump Davey with their fat, but Andre the Giant makes a surprise appearance to save - so broken down at this point, he can't even climb into the ring. Fine for the crowd, boring for everyone else - especially at over fourteen minutes. DUD

BUExperience: Royal Albert Hall is a venue that generally hosts stage plays and choral concerts, which immediately makes for a unique atmosphere – about the equivalent of if the WWE ran Carnegie Hall instead of Madison Square Garden. That said, not much more to see here; a card loaded with dull, overlong matches, and no one going out of their way to steal the show – which you’d think they would, since how often do you get to wrestle at Royal Albert fucking Hall? DUD