WWF SummerSlam 1990

With business down across the board in 1990, the WWF promoted it’s annual SummerSlam spectacular as a double main event – featuring WWF Champion The Ultimate Warrior battling Rick Rude in a cage, and (in the real selling point) Hulk Hogan making his return to battle Earthquake, after selling an injury from the natural disaster to take time off/build anticipation.

From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper – doing a hilariously insane, pop-culture laden job on commentary.


Opening Match: The Rockers v Power and Glory: Before the match gets underway, Hercules bashes Shawn Michaels' knee with his steel chain - leaving Marty Jannetty to go it alone, with Shawn hobbled on the floor. In reality, Michaels had a knee injury, and this was a creative way to get him on the card, but out of the match. Paul Roma goes to town on Marty with closed fists in the corner, but he misses a blind charge, and Marty dropkicks both heels. Jannetty holds his own against both men in a slugfest, but eventually gets overwhelmed, and double-teamed. Meanwhile, Michaels has managed to crawl up to the ring apron, but Hercules just kicks him back to the floor to continue working Marty over two-on-one. Getting slaughtered, Marty looks for the tag, but Shawn's nowhere to be found, so Jannetty digs down and makes another effort at a comeback. He manages to powerslam Roma, and hit a flying fistdrop - but Herc breaks up the count, and Shawn's not there to trigger a four-way brawl. P&G have a little more fun torturing Jannetty, before finishing him with a superplex/flying splash combo at 6:00. Wow, I remember this being much longer as a kid, but then, I haven't seen this show in ages. Just a handicap squash, but the creative booking made it interesting. Easiest money Michaels ever made in his life, either way. This was supposed to lead to a tag title feud between the two teams, but the Rockers' planned title win that fall was scrapped - though they still worked the house shows against each other in loads of non-title matches once Shawn healed up. *


WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Mr. Perfect v The Texas Tornado: This was booked as Brutus Beefcake (the first man to defeat Perfect on TV) winning the title, but Brutus was involved in a real-life parasailing accident that nearly ended his career, so they sub newcomer Texas Tornado (Kerry Von Erich) in. Tornado dramatically wins the initial lockup by throwing Perfect into the corner so hard, he ends up on the floor. After regrouping with manager Bobby Heenan (looking like Archie Bunker, if he was dressed to go clubbing), Perfect catches Kerry in a pair of armdrags coming back in. Tornado responds with a pair of bodyslams, and a clothesline sends Perfect back out to the floor. Inside, Tornado gets him in an armbar, so Perfect simply blasts him in the face, where Tornado was expecting a wrestling counter. That allows Perfect the necksnap, and he hooks a sleeper, but Tornado powers into a slingshot, and gets Perfect in a clawhold/discus punch combo for the title at 5:15. Well, that was brisk. In hindsight, they probably should have kept the title on Perfect since Von Erich turned out to be such a mess, but they must have had a lot of confidence in him coming in. Barely a match. ¼*

Sherri v Sapphire: This is a spinoff from the Randy Savage/Dusty Rhodes feud, as Sherri is Savage's valet, and Sapphire Rhodes'. Unfortunately, Sapphire misses her cue (black people time...), and Sherri wins by forfeit. This was just background to set up a series of vignettes that ran for the rest of the night chronicling the search for Sapphire.

Tito Santana v The Warlord: This was another substitution, as Santana was originally scheduled to face Rick Martel here, but his former tag team partner got injured, and Warlord shuffled in as a replacement. Tito gets the bigger man into a standing side-headlock at the bell, but Warlord easily powers his way free, and tosses Tito across the ring. Santana responds with a series of jabs into a wristlock, but again gets overpowered. Pair of dropkicks manages to knock Warlord to the floor, but Tito gets rammed into the post out there, and pounded back between the ropes. Tito makes a vain effort at a comeback with the diving forearm, but Warlord shrugs him off, and hits a running powerslam to finish at 5:28. Just a TV match - though the eventual Santana/Martel match on The Main Event a few months later didn't end up being much better. DUD

WWF Tag Team Title 2/3 Falls Match: Demolition v The Hart Foundation: Demolition had added Crush as a third member leading up to the show, and he represents the team with Smash tonight - Ax starting to get written out due to a perceived heart condition. Smash starts with Bret Hart, and they get into a tug-of-war - ending in the Foundation double-teaming, and Hart cradling him for two. Armbar, but Smash slams him, and tags Crush. He misses a kneedrop, however, and Hart tries a bodypress out of the ropes - only to get caught with another bodyslam. Missed blind charge ends in a tag to Smash, and Bret hits the Russian legsweep for two. Backbreaker and the 2^nd rope elbowdrop for two - when Crush saves. They set up the Decapitator, and that's enough to win the first fall at 6:09. Bret doesn't get much of a breather before the bell rings again, and the Demos take advantage - cutting the ring in half. Hart desperately crawls for the tag - dodging a double-team to give him the breathing room to make it - and Neidhart is a house of arson! A four-way brawl doesn't take long to break out from there, and the Harts hit the Hart Attack to finish Smash - only for Crush to dive onto the referee for a disqualification at 10:06 - likely hoping the disqualification would save the titles, the way it did when the Harts tried the same trick in a 2/3 Falls Match against the British Bulldogs on Saturday Night's Main Event back in May '87. Unfortunately, the rules have changed, and that just evens up the score. The Harts take too long celebrating that one, however, and Crush vents his frustration by blasting Bret with a clothesline. Meanwhile, with the referee caught up dealing with that, Ax runs out, and hides under the ring. Bret tries a sunset flip on Smash on the way back in, and an inverted atomic drop follows, so Smash rolls to the floor, and swaps out with Ax. Completely fresh, he destroys Bret on the way back in, and hits his own Russian legsweep for two. Bret takes his chest-first corner bump for two, and Crush comes in with a backbreaker for two. That triggers another four-way brawl, so Smash pops back out from under the ring to help his partners control. That draws the Legion of Doom out (fresh from WCW) to even things up (or, actually, uneven them in the other teams favor), and Hawk blasts Crush for Bret to schoolboy at 14:24. That gets an unreal pop from the crowd, as the Harts celebrate with their new titles. I loved this one as a kid, and while it isn't as good as I remember it from watching on VHS during school breaks in the 90s, it's still a really fun match - with Demolition pulling every dirty trick in the book to keep the titles, and the LOD making an immediate splash by helping the Harts. * ¾

Jake Roberts v Bad News Brown: The basis for this feud is that Brown is ophidiophobic, so Roberts terrorizes him with snakes. And in wrestling logic, Jake's the face in that situation, since he's bullying an established heel. The Big Bossman acts as the special referee, to make sure Bad News plays by the rules. Because he's black. Jake goes right at him, but gets quickly caught in a hiptoss, and elbowdropped. Brown argues the count with Bossman and nearly gets caught in the DDT, but he hits the deck, and bails to the floor. Jake tries to follow, but gets abused with a chair for his trouble, until Bossman steps in to stop it. It's enough to sway the momentum in Brown's favor, but he misses a 2^nd rope fistdrop, and gets a kneelift. Series of jabs and a short-clothesline from Jake, but Bad News backdrops free of the DDT, and he grabs the chair again - only for Bossman to disqualify him this time, ending it at 4:44. Aaaaaannnd DUD

The Orient Express v Jim Duggan and Nikolai Volkoff: With the USSR breaking up, long time Soviet heel Volkoff joined forces with American patriot Jim Duggan, since there's no grudges that can't be let go by teaming to beat up a couple of Japs. Sgt. Slaughter (recently returned, but not yet an Iraqi sympathizer) saw right through the act, though, and had turned heel by running Americans down for 'going soft.' The Express try jumping them before the bell, but that doesn't get them anywhere, and Tanaka gets destroyed by Volkoff once they get officially underway. The Express try another double-team, but Volkoff passes to Duggan (Who spends the first couple of minutes in the wrong corner. Duggan...), and Hacksaw blasts the Express with clotheslines to finish at 3:22. Someone order more squash? DUD

Randy Savage v Dusty Rhodes: Rhodes is distracted because he still can't find Sapphire, so Ted DiBiase helps him out by coming out to introduce us to his latest acquisition: Sapphire. Well, I get that he wants to piss off Rhodes, but that is just one HUGE waste of good whore money. The disruption of his regularly scheduled pussy is enough to get Rhodes distracted for Savage to jump, and he hits a flying axehandle before starting a choke exhibition (Hands! Ropes! Boot! Sherri!), so Dusty starts firing elbowsmashes in the corner. Dropkick puts Savage on the floor, so he hides behind Sherri, and manages to steal her brick-loaded purse in the process - whacking Rhodes with it for the pin at 2:15. What a joke. Total TV segment, as they gave the already long running Savage/Rhodes feud the 'this ain't over!!!' treatment, but also set up an entirely different program for Dusty in the process. Even at nine years old - with a much more limited attention span - I thought this was ridiculous. DUD

Hulk Hogan v Earthquake: This is essentially Hogan's big return, as Earthquake had 'put him out of action' (see: sent him on vacation timed to coincide with the birth of his son) with an attack in May, and the Hulkster teased retirement before signing the match. And he's pissed: spitting at Earthquake during the entrances. Damn right. I've seen Hogan Knows Best - those two months were no vacation. They work a power-stalemate to establish that they're both big and strong, but Hogan makes his usual mistake of going for a bodyslam early, and gets toppled. Earthquake tries an avalanche, but runs into Hulk's boot, and it spills to the floor for the Big Bossman and Dino Bravo (with Hogan and Earthquake, respectively) to get involved. Bravo allows 'Quake to bodyslam the Hulkster, but an elbowdrop only gets two. Earthquake with a flying axehandle, and he hooks a Boston crab - but Hogan's in the ropes, and he bails to the outside. Bravo meets him there with a bodyslam on the floor, and rolls Hulk in for 'Quake to do the same. Another elbowdrop misses, so Hogan tries the bodyslam again, but again gets toppled - this time giving Earthquake a two count. Bearhug is sold with zeal by Hogan - tearing the referees shirt apart during the struggle - but his seizure comeback ends in 'Quake powerslamming him for two. Running sit-down splash leaves Hogan writhing on the mat (the same move that put him out of action), but a second one triggers a HULK UP!! Fists of Fury! Big Boot! Bodyslam! Legdrop! - but Dino Bravo is distracting the referee. That gets Hogan hot and bothered, and the whole thing turns into a brawl with Bossman involved, and Hulk slams 'Quake on (not through, but on) a table for the countout victory at 13:16 - jumping up and down like Rocky Balboa at the decision. Well, we are in Philly. Not a great match by any means, but the kind of simple, old school fun the WWF made millions promoting. Plus, Earthquake worked hard. *

Main Event: WWF Title Cage Match: The Ultimate Warrior v Rick Rude: To give you an idea of the level of intrigue here, the set up was essentially Warrior destroying Rude on Saturday Night's Main Event, only failing to get the clean pin when Rude manager Bobby Heenan saved the day (which is the excuse for the cage). One thing I like about the Blue Bar cage (besides the nostalgic qualities it has now) is that it actually took time to set up (as opposed to descending from the ceiling, readymade), which was always great to build up anticipation. Rude tries to meet the champion at the top of the cage on the way in, but Warrior knocks him down, and hits a flying axehandle. He throws Rude into the steel, but misses a bodypress into the cage to take the pep out of his step. Rude takes the opportunity to climb, but Warrior grabs at the ankle, so Rude leaps down with an axehandle. Rick throws the champ into the cage, but an attempt at the Rude Awakening is countered with a clothesline. Rude, in turn, counters a splash by lifting the knees, and then blasts the weakened Warrior with the finisher. To the top of the cage, Rude hits a gorgeous flying axehandle to put the cherry on top, but gets gut-punched as he tries for it again. Warrior crawls for the cage door, but Bobby Heenan is there to meet him by slamming it in his face. That gets Rude a two count, and a criss cross ends in a double knockout. Rude goes for the door (with Heenan trying to pull the battered challenger out), but Warrior tugs the tights down to stop it. His hand covered in Rude ass juice, Warrior bashes Bobby, and starts BLOWING UP!! Series of Clotheslines! Press Slam! Up and Over! 10:06! Certainly disappointing (both compared to their 1989 match, and as a main event in general), but it was well paced, and these two always had chemistry. Rude would leave the WWF not long after - not in protest of the loss, but miffed at the discrepancy between Warrior's payday for the match and his. *

BUExperience: Man, having a limited attention span makes all the difference, because I remember loving this show as a kid, though not at all now. It’s less a proper SummerSlam (or pay per view) than an extended version of Saturday Night’s Main Event, with short matches, non-finishes, tons of substitutions, and angle development (as opposed to resolution) up and down the card. DUD