WWF Insurrextion (May 2001)

From London, England; Your Hosts are Michael Cole and Paul Heyman

Opening Match: Eddie Guerrero v Grandmaster Sexay: Was Too Cool still a thing this far into 2001? Maybe it's just a weird English thing. Eddie attacks him from behind and steals his shades (wow, hitting 2/3 on his mantra within the first minute!), but Sexay knocks him out of the ring with a 2^nd rope dropkick. He wastes time dancing and gets clobbered, however, but Eddie too wastes time getting funky, and Sexay backdrops him, then flapjacks him into the corner. Superkick gets two, and an ugly sitout powerbomb nearly kills both guys. Hip Hop Drop, but Eddie rolls out of the way, but takes too long getting to the top rope himself, and gets slammed off. Sexay tries to finish, but misses a charge, and Guerrero cradles him (with two feet on the ropes) for the pin at 4:29. Not bad, but basically just a TV match. ¾*

Six-Person Tag Team Match: Dean Malenko, Saturn, and Terri v Hardcore Holly, Crash Holly, and Molly Holly: Big brawl to start, with Molly catching Terri in a swanky northern lights suplex and gets rid of her with a giant swing. Trade off to Saturn and Crash, and what the duck is up with Saturn's bleached mustache? Was he doing a Superstar Graham thing I forgot? Also, what's up with the ladies? They seem to be unsure if they're in this match, or not - hanging out on the apron half the time, and on the floor like valets the rest of the time. Well, anyway, Hardcore gets caught in the heat segment until Saturn misses a flying elbowdrop, and Crash gets the tag. He's a midget of fire to start a brawl, but falls prey to a fisherman’s suplex from Saturn at 5:37. Another TV match. ½*

Big Show v Bradshaw: This is scheduled as Show/Test, but Test is injured, so Show makes an open challenge. Bradshaw unloads on him in the aisle, and they brawl into the ring, where Bradshaw gets caught in a sidewalk slam, and headbutted into the corner for some abuse. Bodyslam, but Show misses an elbowdrop, and Bradshaw comes off the top with a flying shoulderblock. Show quickly goes for the Chokeslam to cut off the comeback, but Bradshaw holds the rope, and manages to escape to the floor. It backfires when Show stalks him out there to hammer away, but Show wastes times flirting with the injured Test, and Bradshaw delivers the Clothesline from Hell for the pin at 3:21. Another TV match, down to the ending. DUD

Fatal Four-Way Match: Edge & Christian v X-Factor v The Hardy Boyz v The Dudley Boyz: Hey, my least favorite match type! That ought to boost this show! And, honestly, I never used to hate it so damn much, but they seemed to do one (or more) on every single fucking pay per view during this period. I mean, I get that they had a shitload of guys on the roster, but FUCK! X-Factor work Matt Hardy over for a bit, but miss a double-team clothesline, and Jeff Hardy gets the tag. That triggers a big brawl between all four teams, and X-Pac eats a Swanton from Jeff at 5:42. Well, at least Aldo Montoya is gone. Christian quickly grab Jeff for an Unprettier to get rid of the Hardy's at 6:02, then brawl with the Dudley's. E&C cut the ring in half on D-Von, but Edge's attempt at a superplex gets him tossed off, and D-Von hits a flying clothesline. Tag to Bubba, but the referee misses it, and Christian comes in to keep the heat on D-Von with a backbreaker for two. Bubba gets frustrated and helps D-Von turn the tide, and we have a brawl! The Boyz look to finish, but in runs Rhyno to Gore Bubba, and Edge gets the pin at 13:21. It wasn't bad, or lazy, or slow, I'm just burned out on the match type, and can't get into them. At least the other teams went out fairly quickly, and most of the match was just a straight tag match between E&C/Dudleys. *

2/3 Falls Match: Kurt Angle v Chris Benoit: First lockup goes to a stalemate, so Angle tries shooting at the leg, but Benoit manages to counter into a waistlock. He pulls Kurt up for a German suplex, but Angle railroads him into the corner to break, and drives in an elbow for good measure. Lockup, and Kurt uses a quick fireman’s carry to take Chris down, but again, Benoit manages to outwrestle him on the canvas, and Kurt is forced to grab the bottom rope to avoid the Crossface. He bails to regroup, but unlike with the Ultimate Submission Match at Backlash, this time he's subject to countouts, and can't stall Benoit for long. Inside, Kurt tries for the Anklelock, but Chris escapes - the force of which sends Kurt flying out of the ring again. He milks the count and goads Benoit into chasing him - stomping him on the way back in, and hitting a VICIOUS stungun in the corner. Now in control, Angle hits a snap suplex for one, as Cole notes that US fans are watching this at 4am. Wow, if you stayed up 'til 4am to see this pay per view, you've got problems. Angle with a pair of release overhead suplexes, but he walks into a belly-to-belly from Benoit, and Chris nearly stops his heart with some brutal chops. Two-alarm rolling snap suplexes, and he drops Kurt across the top rope as he goes for a third alarm. Three-alarm rolling German suplexes follow, and the flying headbutt scores the first fall at 7:42. And right away, the announcers start talking about how Triple H once scored two straight falls over Steve Austin, and how it could happen again tonight. They're like Keenan Ivory Wayans in Don't Be A Menace with this shit. Kurt quickly takes over and belly-to-belly superplexes him for two, and follows with a side suplex for two. Chinlock, but Chris powers out, so Kurt throws him across the ring with another overhead suplex for two. Side suplex, but Chris counters into a bodypress on the way down for two, then quickly gets smacked down again. Backdrop, but Benoit fires off a quick inside cradle for two, and tosses him into the corner for chops. DDT, so Kurt desperately goes for the Olympic Slam, but gets shoved into the corner, and pulled out with another three-alarm rolling German. Flying headbutt, but Angle manages to roll out of the way, and both guys are dead. Anklelock, but Benoit manages to counter into the Crossface, only for Angle to escape - and walk right into an inside cradle at 14:23. Another good match between them, and managed to be totally different than the Submission Match from Backlash, to boot. Not as psychologically sound as that encounter was, but certainly well worked, and well paced. *** ¼

Queens Cup Match: William Regal v Chris Jericho: Sadly, they don't have the actual Duchess at ringside this time, but this is for her Cup. And, wow, does Jericho look young. I mean, he wasn't THAT young, but I just saw him on RAW last night, and it's jarring. Regal goes right for a standing wristlock, but Chris escapes, and cracks him across the jaw. They trade hammerlocks, and Regal tries tossing him over the top, but Jericho hangs on, and knocks William out of the ring with a flying forearm. He follows to kick some ass out on the floor, then back in with a flying bodypress for two. Nice reversal sequence ends in Jericho trying for the Walls, but Regal tosses him shoulder first into the post, and goes to work on it with an armscissors. He tries going up, but takes a rana off the top for two, but a dropkick misses, and William shoots him into the ropes with a slingshot, then hits a modified German suplex. Cobra clutch, but Chris escapes, so Regal dumps him out to the floor, and posts the shoulder. Inside, Jericho tries a sunset flip, but walks into a lariat for two, and Regal grounds him with another cobra clutch. Chris escapes with a backdrop, and quickly schoolboys him for two, but ends up tied in the ropes, and hammered with closed fists. Vertical suplex is worth two, and Regal stretches the shoulder, but Jericho powers up for an enzuigiri that leaves both guys taking the count. They stagger up for a slugfest, and Jericho manages a lariat to setup a 2^nd rope dropkick for two. Diving shoulderblock and a bulldog set up the lionsault, but Regal lifts the knees, then side suplexes him on the bad shoulder for two. German suplex, but Chris counters with a victory roll, then shifts up into the Walls for the submission at 14:45. Psychologically sound, but never really got into the groove that the WrestleMania match did. Still, better than the goofy Backlash match. * ½

Main Event: WWF Title Handicap Match: Steve Austin and Triple H v The Undertaker: If Undertaker can pin Austin, he wins the title. Hmm, I wonder what the finish might be? Not that Austin and Triple H couldn't spare some gold at this point - they actually hold the World, Intercontinental, and Tag Team Titles between them. Undertaker grabs a chair and tries to use it to keep the tag champs out of the ring, but gets overwhelmed and double-teamed. Austin stomps a mud hole, but a double-team clothesline misses, and 'Taker goes crazy. Sidewalk slam for Austin, and he goes for the chokeslam, but Hunter saves, and all three spill out to the floor. That goes on for a while, as they brawl up the aisle and all around ringside, then back in, 'Taker hits the ropewalk forearm on HHH for two. Why even bother covering him? Beating him to a pulp so he can't save Austin, sure, but why go for the cover when pinning HHH doesn't win you the title? He keeps pounding him until Austin makes the save (Again, why? HHH is your fall guy. Let him take the fall to save your title. In fact, HHH should have just not kicked out when Undertaker stupidly covered him), and now Stephanie distracts the referee to allow Austin to use a chair. They work Undertaker over, but HHH gets caught with a jumping clothesline... and Undertaker has no one to tag out to, so the beating continues. Austin with a sleeper, but 'Taker reverses - only for Steve to side suplex his way out. Undertaker finally manages to mount a comeback, and they brawl out on the floor again - and we finally gets a nice spot, as Hunter dives at Undertaker with an axehandle, but gets caught, and chokeslammed through the announce table in one fluid motion. Inside, Austin tries the Stunner, but takes a big boot and a chokeslam. HHH saves and tries the Pedigree, but Undertaker counters with a slingshot into Austin, so Vince McMahon comes down. He grabs a chair, but accidentally hits HHH, and Undertaker adds a chokeslam for the pin on Hunter at 17:09. Total crap, 1999 Attitude Era main event, with no psychology, and lots of brawling. ½*

BUExperience: The only worthwhile match is Angle/Benoit, and given that they had better versions of it at the two preceding pay per views, I’m going to recommend you take a pass on this one

DUD