WWF Monday Night RAW (April 17, 1995)

Original Airdate: April 17, 1995 (Taped April 3)

From Poughkeepsie, New York; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Yesterday morning on the Action Zone, Ted DiBiase unveiled Sid as the newest member of his Million Dollar Corporation. I get what they were going for there, but it probably would have been better to leave Sid as crazy loner if they wanted to give him a main event push, because nobody took the Corporation seriously - especially after WrestleMania

Opening Match: Duke Droese v Jean Pierre Lafitte: Listening to Vince go through Lafitte's back-story with a straight face is worth the price of admission alone. 'Coins, ladies and gentlemen, that have been said to be blessed by a Cajun witch!' They establish Lafitte as a heel by having him take a cheapshot when Duke offers a handshake, but he quickly walks into a hiptoss, and gets clotheslined out of the ring. Duke brings him back in for a backelbow and a kneedrop for two, but he misses a corner charge, and Lafitte grabs a swinging neckbreaker. God, Lafitte is so cosmetically different from Quebecer Pierre - not to mention FAT. As a kid, I never even realized they were the same guy. But then, it took me a while to figure out that Goldust was Dustin Rhodes too, so I may not be the best guy to count on for stuff like that. Lafitte with a 2^nd rope legdrop for two, and a straddling ropechoke follows. He ties Duke up in the ropes for a pair of weird bodypresses, and he grounds the Dumpster with a chinlock. The crowd just does not care about Lafitte, either, and I'm surprised this character lasted as long as it did - let alone got a (fairly) high profile feud with Bret fucking Hart. Lafitte goes for a 2^nd rope splash, but hits Duke's boot on the way down, and Droese backdrops him, then hits a pair of clotheslines. Powerslam, but a flying splash misses, and Lafitte sidewalk slams him, then finishes with the Cannonball at 11:00. Really dull and unimpressive debut. They should have either had him squash Droese outright, or booked him against a full-on jobber. ¾*

Bob Backlund goes to the beach for Spring Break (in a full suit, natch), to rant about the youths, but the cameraman is more interested in the girls in bikinis. Oh which there are, like, two, mind you

We get another look at Sid joining the Million Dollar Corporation, with Vince wildly speculating that it was Ted DiBiase (IT WAS TED DIBIASE ALL ALONG!) who plotted to have Sid turn on Shawn Michaels so that Sid could get a title shot against Diesel. That was some wildly unnecessary exposition, because as noted earlier, Sid was fine on his own, and the angle was fine on its own

Doink v Raymond Roy: Doink looks really pudgy this week, so it's either someone else in the clown suit, or he'd been letting himself go. Also, what's with the squashes on this taping? Last week Headshrinkers, this week Doink? They know it's 1995, right? Roy looks like a weird cross between Lance Storm and Vincent D'Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket. And, much like in that film, he goes down to a Whoopee Cushion from a clown, as well as another from his midget sidekick at 3:17. Uh huh. DUD

In Your House Report. Guys, this new event is about more than just the opportunity to win a house! There's a Diesel match, too!

WWF Tag Team Title Match: Owen Hart and Yokozuna v Bob Holly and 1-2-3 Kid: Owen starts with Kid, and the challenger controls a reversal battle on the mat. Kid hits a dropkick and passes to Bob to help with a tandem backdrop, and Holly works the arm, but loses a criss cross when Hart kneelifts him, and that allows the tag to Yokozuna. Bob actually holds his own, so Owen pulls down the top rope on a criss cross, and Holly goes flying out - Hart immediately capitalizing by ramming his back into the post a few times. Back in, Owen goes to work with a bow-and-arrow, as the champs cut the ring in half on Holly, until Bob manages a double-knockout spot with Owen, and outruns Yoko to the tag. Kid comes in hot with a series of enzuigiris and a spinheel kick for Yokozuna, followed immediately with a somersault plancha onto Owen. Flying bodypress onto Yoko on the way back in, but he gets caught in a belly-to-belly suplex on the way down, and the champs retain at 15:30. I don't know if this was a case of everyone just being out of gas after the six-man from earlier in the taping or what, but there was a lot of resting going on here. * ¼

Call the Superstar Hotline now, and hear Jim Ross interview Alundra Blayze. Well, I don't know that I'd want to listen to that in 1995, but I'd totally call in 2014

The Undertaker does his yearly PSA for drinking and driving

WWF Magazine promo

Henry Godwinn v Rich Myers: The match is just background, as Vince and Jerry spend the duration having a phone conversation with a literal cartoon character from the Duckman show. And, see, the character is a pig, and Henry Godwinn is a pig farmer, so it ties in! Genius! For all those of you who bitched and moaned about Grumpy Cat on RAW recently, that was NOTHING compared to the shit they shoveled onto our plates in 1995. Slop Drop finishes Rich at 2:00. DUD

Rich people think the WWF is '100% naturally good!' Well, that's certainly a... unique... marketing approach

BUExperience: Nothing much to see here, unless you’re a big Jean Pierre Lafitte fan. And really, who isn’t?