AWA WrestleRock (April 1986)

Original Airdate: April 20, 1986

From Minneapolis, Minnesota; Your Host is Ron Trongard. This show has kind of a weird look to it, as they drew a large crowd (23,000) but since the venue (the Metrodome) could accommodate around 50,000, the crowd looks less impressive than it might had they run an arena instead of a stadium. Matters weren’t helped by the fact that they scaled the building poorly, and then made things even worse by pointing the hard camera towards a section with a ton of empty seats. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about... I’m a man with plenty of experience making things look bigger and more impressive than they actually are

Opening Match: Brad Rheingans v Boris Zhukov: Boris is sporting a weird hairstyle here (shaved head, except for a single big poofy patch in the back) that thankfully didn't carry over into his WWF run. Rheingans controls with a dropkick and a hammerlock early on, but gets nailed while trying a waistlock, and dumping into the corner. Zhukov with a bodyslam to setup a headvise, and a knee to the gut gets two. He slams Brad throat-first across the top rope, and the way they've laid out and scaled this building is getting downright annoying to look at. Like, the cheap seats at the top are full (on one side of the building at least, the other side is completely empty), but the lower level seating areas are patchy, and then the floor seats are only about three-quarters full. Again, this would have been an impressive crowd in an arena, but it looks bush league as fuck here. Zhukov with a backbreaker for two, and a side suplex for two, but Brad starts making his comeback. Brad with a backdrop followed by an earringer, and he goes to work on the leg of the Russian. Atomic drop gets two, so Boris makes a last ditch effort at a comeback via a series of shoulderblocks, but ends up running into a gutwrench suplex at 5:44. ¾*

Midget Tag Team Match: Lord Littlebrook and Little Tokyo v Little Mr. T and Cowboy Lang: Gary Lumpkin serves as the special guest referee for this one. Wow, and you thought the WWF was reaching with some of the celebs for WrestleMania 2, but they've got nothing on ol' Verne. This match sounds like the beginning of a bad joke... 'a Cowboy, a Japanese guy, and Mr. T walk into a bar...' Too bad Lang isn't 'Little' too, to complete the superfecta. Tokyo starts with the Cowboy, but quickly passes out to Littlebrook to work an armbar. Man, even Trongard is having trouble faking enthusiasm for this one. Littlebrook and Tokyo get right to cutting the ring in half on Lang, but he fights off Tokyo long enough to tag out to T. Too bad Verne didn't book a midget Roddy Piper against him in a boxing match for this. Hell, too bad he didn't get the actual Piper to fight this guy - that might have actually drawn. Who wants to bet that the only reason this is going on is so they could advertise 'Mr. T' for the show, and hope no one reads the fine print? Considering all the stories of the AWA pulling bait-and-switches on fans during this period (like advertising guys who weren't even with the promotion any longer), would it really be so surprising? In lieu of doing play-by-play for this one, I'm going to spend the time browsing my Tinder matches until the finish. As usual, if you have a problem with that, please send your formal complaint directly to Double M's inbox. And here comes the finish, as Lang hooks Littlebrook in a cradle at 10:01. Midget matches were a staple of 80s wrestling, and I can tolerate them in small doses (ahem), but ten minutes is a lot of midget. ¼*

Wahoo McDaniel v Colonel DeBeers: Chuck Lilligren acts as the guest ring announcer, continuing the parade of Z-list celebrities tonight. He's from radio, so at least he has a good voice for the role. DeBeers works a wristlock to start, but gets cracked with a quality chop to end that effort. Wahoo grabs a standing side-headlock, but DeBeers powers into the corner, so Wahoo switches to a mat-based hammerlock instead. DeBeers wrestles to a vertical base in the corner to escape, but gets the losing end of a slugfest, and gets dumped to the outside. Back in, McDaniel hits a bodyslam to setup an elbowdrop for two, but DeBeers stomps him down, and dumps him to the outside. He tries to ram him into the post, but Wahoo starts making a comeback - only to toss DeBeers over the top rope, and get himself disqualified at 5:03. ¼*

The Midnight Rockers v Doug Somers and Buddy Rose: This is cut from the Network version for some reason or another, which is especially weird since it's on one of the Shawn Michaels DVDs released by the WWE. Marty Jannetty starts with Rose, and Buddy wastes no time taunting him - doing one-armed pushups and kip-ups, then telling Marty to match him. Jannetty keeps up with everything, then decides to give Buddy a run for his money by tagging Shawn Michaels in - Michaels doing a back flip off the top rope, and telling Rose to try and match it. That doesn't go well for Buddy. To the surprise of literally no one. The dust settles on Shawn and Somers criss crossing, and Michaels armdrags him into an armbar. Somers escapes for another criss cross, but eats a dropkick, and decides to tag out. Rose criss crosses with Michaels as well, but also ends up on the mat in an armbar. Wow, 1986 Sherri Martel is actually totally do-able. Tag to Marty with a bodyslam on Rose, and he armdrags him over into his own armbar. Buddy goes to the eyes to escape, but Marty dodges a charge from Doug, and grounds him again. You've got to love the Rockers because even when they were doing basic armdrag/armbar stuff, they were keeping it quick and lively. The Rockers continue to outfox them at every turn while working the arms, until Rose manages to send Shawn into the heel corner with a slingshot, and Somers is ready with a shot. They cut the ring in half on Michaels, but Shawn reverses a vertical suplex from Buddy, and tags. Marty is a crack house of fire, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on! The Rockers control, but Jannetty gets shoved down off the top rope while trying to finish Somers, and pinned at 12:03. Felt more like the first twelve minutes of a much longer match, but a really strong effort, even if not quite a fully realized one. ** ½

Buck Zumhofe v Tiger Mask: A long reversal sequence ends in a stalemate, but Buck gets the better of another one, and works the leg of the masked man. Zumhofe applies a Boston crab, so Tiger counters into a cradle, but it's in the ropes. Tiger with a well executed dropkick for two, and he grounds Zumhofe with an armbar. They trade hammerlocks, until Tiger snapmares his way out of one, but runs into a hiptoss for two. Zumhofe with a backdrop, but Tiger blocks, and hits a bodypress for two. Vertical suplex gets two, but a cross corner charge misses, and Zumhofe goes for the mask, but to no avail. Bodyslam does get two, and an earringer is worth two. Tiger fights back with a spinkick and a kneedrop for two, but Zumhofe cuts off the comeback with a bodyslam. Abdominal stretch, but Tiger manages to dump him to the outside to escape, and he dives out after him with a plancha! Buck beats the count back in, so Tiger goes for the kill with a dropkick, but misses. Buck with a bodyslam, but Tiger counters to a side suplex, stunning Buck for a flying somersault bodyblock to finish at 10:55. Not great by today's standards, but way ahead of the curve for 1986. ***

The Fabulous Ones v Barry Windham and Mike Rotunda: They actually openly acknowledge that Windham and Rotunda are former WWF Tag Team Champions, which is jarring. Not as jarring as seeing Skinner play a pretty boy, of course, but certainly close. They take a while to get properly going, until things pick up with Windham and Rotunda tandem-dropkicking Steve Keirn, and working him over. Mike misses a cross corner charge, however, and Steve passes out to Stan Lane for a few savate kicks. The Fabulous Ones cut the ring in half on Rotunda, but Lane misses an elbowdrop to allow the tag to Windham. He comes in hot with a powerslam for two, but runs into a double-team, and Keirn grounds him with a side-headlock as they cut the ring in half on their new victim. This match is dragging like crazy. The better of a double-knockout spot allows the tag to Rotunda, but the Fabs keep cheating with double-teams, so Barry comes in with a flying elbowsmash for the pin at 14:01 - despite not being the legal man. This was less than fabulous. ¾*

Giant Baba v Bob Brown: Not surprisingly, the crowd doesn't give much of a shit about this one, since neither guy had any particular connection to the AWA. Hilariously, Trongard still has the balls to declare that the 'fans love it,' despite the fact that half the crowd can clearly be seen heading up the stands, while the remaining half are engaged in conversation with their seatmates. Baba holds an armbar to start, but Bob chops him into the ropes to break that up. They lumber around for a long while, with Brown snapmarring him to setup a legdrop, but missing. Baba has the most oddly proportioned body I think I've ever seen. Baba knife-edge chops him to setup a Russian legsweep, and a big boot finishes at 5:42. This was so unapologetically terrible that even Wikipedia pretends it doesn't exist. -**

Rick Martel v Harley Race: Race is literally weeks away from his WWF debut at this point. Dick Jonckowski acts as the special guest ring announcer for this, as the parade of stars continues. Martel controls with a hiptoss and an armdrag into an armbar early on, which Race escapes with a high knee, followed by a kneedrop for two. Harley grabs a chinlock, and man, the crowd is surprisingly disinterested in this one thus far given the level of star power. I mean, it made sense with the Baba/Brown match, but Martel was just four months removed from a long AWA World Title reign at this point! Martel wins a criss cross with another armbar, but Race escapes with a pair of headbutts, then puts him down with a third. Front-powerslam gets two, but Rick counters a vertical suplex with a sleeper - Race able to drop him into the corner to break. Harley with a swinging neckbreaker to setup a flying headbutt, but Martel slams him down off the top, and adds a kneedrop for two. Race goes low with a headbutt to try cutting off the comeback, but Martel holds his own in a slugfest. He grabs a standing side-headlock, but Harley side suplexes his way out - only to miss a falling headbutt! Rick capitalizes with a backbreaker to setup a slingshot splash for two, but he runs into another headbutt, and Race hits the Piledriver! No cover, however, as he wants to give him a falling headbutt first - but it only gets two! Elbowdrop gets two, so Martel tries firing back with a 2^nd rope bodypress, but misses. They really messed up the timing on that one, leaving Martel diving with no chance of hitting Harley to begin with. Race capitalizes with a kneedrop for two, but gets reversed on a cross corner whip, and he takes an over the top bump off it. Martel vertical suplexes him back in to setup an elbowdrop, but Harley rolls out of the way, and a delivers a shoulderbreaker for two. Neckbreaker gets two, but Martel escapes a headlock with a side suplex for two. Race again relies on a headbutt to cut him off, but Martel counters the Piledriver with a backdrop this time, then follows with a gutwrench suplex for two. Bodyslam, but Race counters with a small package for two, and some of these nimrods in the crowd are literally sitting and reading newspapers rather than pay attention! Rick dropkicks him for two, then starts going to work on the leg, but Race escapes a leglock, and grabs a bearhug. Martel won't submit, so Race turns it into a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Vertical suplex is reversed by Martel, but Race lifts the knees to block a splash, and they end up spilling to the outside - both guys getting counted out at 17:36. Really strong stuff once it got going, but the dead crowd put a big damper on what they were doing. *** ¼

10-Woman Battle Royal: Stu Voigt acts as the special guest referee for this, so hopefully these ladies mind their handbags. We've got: Sherri Martel, Luna Vachon, Joyce Grable, Kat LeRoux, Rose Divine, Taylor Thomas, Despina Montega, Misty Blue Simmes, Debbie Combs, and Candi Divine. Trongard explaining (and reiterating) the rules for a battle royal is practically alone worth the price of admission here. God, even in 1986 Luna was a freak show. This goes on for way too long, until we get down to Sherri and Debbie, and Combs gets tossed at 7:25. DUD

AWA America's Title Match: Sgt. Slaughter v Kamala: Slaughter looks positively young and fit here, compared to his WrestleMania headlining days. That man lost a lot of hair and gained a lot of gut in five years. Kamala controls with some forehand chops to start, and an avalanche allows him to put Sarge down with a turnbuckle smash. Kamala with a splash for two, and he slaps a clawhold on as my mind wanders, and I get to thinking what it would have been like had Kamala come into wrestling during the Attitude Era, circa 1999, before Vince Russo left. I imagine an angle where he starts off as a heel, but quickly gets over with the crowd when he keeps threatening to take his underwear off during matches, since he's having trouble adjusting to the WWF's demands that he wear them underneath his loincloth. We really missed out here. Anyway, back to this abortion of a match, as Kamala keeps plodding around and hammering Slaughter in the slowest manner possible, until Sarge gets sick of it, and actually busts out a standing dropkick! Bodyslam and a series of jabs put Kamala down, and a backelbow follows, as Slaughter mounts his comeback. Clothesline gets two, and the Cobra Clutch looks to finish, but Skandor Akbar gets involved, and Kamala is disqualified at 10:15. Slaughter's dropkick was pretty cool, but this match was a total and complete piece of shit otherwise, with a bad finish to boot. This looked more like a senior circuit Heroes of Wrestling type performance than two guys who still had major runs ahead of them. -***

AWA World Tag Team Title Match: Scott Hall and Curt Hennig v The Long Riders: The crowd seems to have filled in a bit more now. The building still looks embarrassingly empty from the wrong camera angles, but it looks respectable when pointed at the crowd side now, at least. As noted previously, it's a very good sized crowd, just totally wrong for this venue. Hall is rocking the shit out of his Ribera Steakhouse jacket here. Hall starts with Scott Irwin here, and controls the initial lockup with an overhead wristlock. Hall with a standing side-headlock, and boy, is it weird to see Scott fucking Hall wrestle in cowboy boots. Not to mention the pornstache and the permd hair. He looks more like a cowboy version of Rick Rude than a wrestling version of Scarface at this point. Really shows how phenomenal the WWF marketing machine was in those days, in that it makes it almost physically difficult to watch guys like Hall or Hennig in their non-Titan era gear. The champs dominate both Long Riders in the early going, with Curt and Bill Irwin working a few nice mat sequences together. Bill gets the best of an exchange with a knee, and the Long Riders take control - cutting the ring in half on Hennig. And he oversells everything like crazy, of course! Some things never change. Bill misses a 2^nd rope splash to allow the hot tag to Hall, and he's a barn of fire! The champs control as things turn into a brawl, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on! Finish comes as Scott brawls with Hall on the floor, and Curt hits Bill with a missile dropkick to retain at 13:02. Some decent stuff, but fairly dull. * ¾

European Rules Boxing Match: Larry Zbyszko v Scott LeDoux: Lot of 'Scotts' on this show tonight. Two minute rounds here, and Larry Hennig acts as the special guest referee for this one. Zbyszko is dressed like Eric Bischoff at Starrcade '97, ironically enough. The idea is that it's a 'boxing match,' with gloves and everything, but wrestling moves are allowed as well.
ROUND ONE: LeDoux controls some sparring, and grabs Zbyszko in a full-nelson, before knocking him to the outside, so Larry stalls, of course. Only Larry Zbyszko could figure out a way to stall during a BOXING MATCH, with timed rounds. Gotta give it to him. Back in, Zbyszko wrestles Scott down until the round ends. I'd call that round a draw.
ROUND TWO: Larry tries to shoot for the leg at the bell, and manages to take LeDoux down, but gets pounded in the corner, and Zbyszko bails. He forces Scott to chase him to setup an armdrag, but LeDoux slugs his way out of that one as well. Larry actually holds his own trading fists with Scott, and a bodyslam puts him down for a front-facelock. More punches from Zbyszko close out the round, one dominated by the Living Legend.
ROUND THREE: Zbyszko picks up where he left off with a shoulderbreaker to setup another front-facelock, and man, those gloves are not doing them any favors for the wrestling sequences. They're lucky no one ended up with a broken neck here. Larry continues to control him on the mat until time expires, another round dominated by Zbyszko.
ROUND FOUR: Larry looks to finish him off with some kicks, but Scott manages to pound him into the corner to avoid that fate, and he unloads a pair of turnbuckle smashes. Scott with a bodyslam, and hammers Zbyszko on the ropes, before putting him down with a big right at the bell - this round completely controlled by LeDoux.
ROUND FIVE: Zbyszko is busted open as we get underway, and he tries to bail, so an overzealous LeDoux goes after him, and gets run into the post. Larry and the Ninja then gang up on him, until Hennig DQ's Zbyszko at 8:30. Entertaining to some degree, but it was a one-note performance, and went on for too long. *

AWA World Title Match: Stan Hansen v Nick Bockwinkel: Hansen beats up poor interviewer Larry Nelson before the bout for no reason, but basically because he's Stan fucking Hansen, and that's why. Brawl to start, which immediately spills to the outside. Hansen gets the best of it, but fails with a backdrop on the way back in, and Bockwinkel whips him from corner to corner. Stan manages a snapmare to setup a chinlock, and an elbowdrop gets him two. Front-facelock, but Bockwinkel counters into a hammerlock, so Stan fights into the ropes. Nick responds by working the body with some rights, but Hansen shrugs him off with a well executed bodyslam to setup a stuff kneedrop for two. Bockwinkel fires back with a sunset flip for two, and he armdrags the big Texan over for an armbar. Meanwhile, the camera crew amuses themselves by continually cutting to the most bemused looking audience member they can find, and lingering on them. Nice reversal sequence ends in Hansen grounding his challenger with a chinlock, but Nick fights to a vertical base, and reverses a cross corner whip to setup a Sleeper! Hansen manages to fall out of the ring while in the hold to force a break, and he rams Nick into the steps out there for shits and giggles. In, Bockwinkel controls a slugfest, so Hansen desperately drops him throat first across the top rope for two. Vertical suplex, but Bockwinkel reverses for two. Hansen shoots back with a backbreaker for two, but Bockwinkel keeps coming with a backdrop for two. Mid-90s announcer Vince McMahon would be absolutely LOSING HIS SHIT about this back-and-forth action right now! Bockwinkel with a bodyslam for two, but a second go at it bumps the referee! That allows Hansen to clobber Nick with an axehandle, but Bockwinkel throws a bodypress - no referee to count. Dropkick sets up the Piledriver, and Hansen kicks out despite no official counting. Bockwinkel keeps coming, but gets backdropped over the top in the process - enough to get Hansen disqualified by the recovering referee at 10:14. That's quite a lot of shitty DQ finishes tonight. The match was pretty good though, with both guys working hard and stiff. ** ½

Cage Match: Greg Gagne and Jimmy Snuka v Bruiser Brody and John Nord: This is actual tag rules, not tornado style. Gagne starts with Brody, and actually holds his own in a slugfest. And people actually thought wrestling was legit? Really? In a world where GREG GAGNE is kicking BRUISER BRODY'S ass in a slugfest?! Simpler times, man. Brody's had enough of that ass kicking, obviously, from big bad Greg and tags, as does Gagne. Snuka ends up running right into trouble in the corner, but a criss cross with Brody goes Jimmy's way with a big island chop! Snapmare sets up a 2^nd rope fistdrop for two, but Nord catches him with a vertical suplex for two. With his look, Nord really should have been a MUCH bigger star than he turned out to be. It's like a monster Seth Rogen! Tag back to Greg, and wouldn't ya know it, he kicks the crap out of Brody again - only slowing down when Nord comes over to make it two-on-one. Unbelievable! As is 'not believable.' They cut the ring in half on Gagne, and Brody has some fun with a badass delayed piledriver for two. That was pretty wicked! Nord gets fought off in the corner to allow the tag to Snuka, and he comes in hot on Brody! Flying headbutt gets two when Nord breaks up the count, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on! They actually turn down the heat on that kettle pretty quickly and settle back into cutting the ring in half on Snuka, but Greg gets SICK of their dastardly double-teams, and comes in without a tag to turn the heat back up! Big brawl, and Snuka ends up accidentally knocking Gagne out, but you have to be as fucking high as non-monster Seth Rogen if you think he's eating a pinfall here. And, indeed, groggy Greg accidentally trips Nord over to allow Snuka a pin at 11:14. There was literally no reason this needed to be in a cage, which didn't end up factoring into the match at all. And what, no Superfly Splash, even? Afterwards, both teams continue to brawl on the outside, and fight through the stands. See, now THAT would have been an interesting match, but falls count anywhere tags weren't really a thing yet in 1986. *


Cage Match: Verne Gagne v Adnan Al-Kaissie: Both men are already at ringside as corner men during the previous bout, and they start brawling on the floor before even entering the cage. Inside, Al-Kaissie tries running away, but that proves to be a less than sound strategy. Verne busts him open in record time, then starts whipping him with a belt, and poor Adnan is begging off. I don't blame him - crazy old men are scary as fuck. Verne with a double-stomp for two, but Adnan rakes the eyes, and bites him in the corner. That's not enough to stop Verne Gagne though, however, and he quickly comes back with a sleeper, but Al-Kaissie fights free. Al-Kaissie hammers him with axehandles, but Verne blocks a backdrop, and works a headlock. Al-Kaissie fights back with a bodyslam for two, but another one is countered with an inside cradle by Gagne at 4:00. Total crap, but it was relatively quick, at least. DUD

Main Event: Cage Match: The Road Warriors v Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin: Again, standard tag rules here. Hawk starts with Hayes, and Michael manages to piledrive him right away, but it gets totally no-sold, and Hawk throws a dropkick. Hawk whips Hayes into the ropes for a shoulderblock, then absolutely THROWS him into the cage before adding a press-slam and a fistdrop. Man, he's in a bad mood tonight. Too bad we didn't get Brody/Nord versus Road Warriors... THAT might have been enough to save this train wreck of a show. They fight to the top rope, which Hawk easily wins of course, and he follows up with a flying splash for two. That's enough for Hayes, and he quickly tags out to Garvin. Hawk welcomes him to the show with a nasty over the shoulder backbreaker, and he tags out to Animal to powerslam Garvin for two. Man, the Road Warriors were fucking awesome in their primes. Six-pump press-slam follows, but Garvin manages to work in a cheap shot, and tag. Hayes attempts to capitalize, but gets blasted with a backelbow, and Hawk comes in to unload. The Freebirds are selling like crazy here, and bouncing around like pinballs. See how much you can achieve when you don't spend fifty percent of the match stalling? The Freebirds manage to turn the tide on Hawk, and kinda sorta maybe cut the ring in half, but not really, since Hawk mostly no-sells everything they throw at him. He reverses a vertical suplex from Hayes to get off the hot tag, and Roseanne Barr the door! We've got a kettle on, and Hayes ends up coming off the top rope, but accidentally hits Garvin by accident - Animal scoring the pin off of it at 6:58. Out of the three cage matches, this one at least made actual, you know, use of the gimmick. How quaint. ** ½

BUExperience: Ugh. No... just... no. At four hours, this show reaches WrestleMania IV levels of bloat and excess, and unlike that show, this one doesn’t have the benefit of historical significance on its side. Two matches here fall deep into negative star territory, and there’s a fucking ten minute midget match! While there are some solid (and even good) matches peppered in, it’s far too little to make it worth attempting the chore of trying to sit through this four hour bore

DUD