ECW One Night Stand (June 2006)

Original Airdate: June 11, 2006

From New York, New York; Your Hosts are Joey Styles and Tazz

Opening Match: Tazz v Jerry Lawler: Shouldn’t it be 'Taz' in this case? They nail the old school ECW touches, down to the narrow aisle. Lawler stops to slap Joey Styles on the way to the ring, but the announcer fights back! He attacks Lawler on the way into the ring, but Jerry quickly fights him off. Piledriver, but Tazz saves with the Tazzmission at 0:36! Fun way to start! DUD

Kurt Angle v Randy Orton: There was a reason the old school ECW shows didn't use a lot of pyro, and it becomes readily apparent here. Kurt destroys him in the mat to start, but Randy manages to bail out to avoid taking the Anklelock. Back in, Kurt continues to school him on the canvas, until he gets bored, and lets Orton headlock him to at least make it interesting. Of course, he easily escapes with a side suplex, but a charge in the corner doesn't go as well, and Randy stomps him down. Backelbow gets two, and a cross corner whip sets up a kneedrop for two. Chinlock time, but Kurt easily counters, and hooks him into a cradle for a few two counts. Orton elbows out and tries another chinlock (his holds look so laughable compared to Kurt's ultra-realistic style), but Angle escapes. Randy blocks a variety of suplexes, but misses a charge in the corner, and Kurt drops him with a release German. Slugfest goes Angle's way, and a short-clothesline sets up a three-alarm rolling German suplex. Olympic Slam, but Randy blocks, and throws a dropkick for two. Another chinlock, but Kurt side suplexes free, and hits the Olympic Slam for two. Anklelock looks to finish, but Randy sends him into the corner to break, and hits the inverted headlock backbreaker for two. RKO, but Kurt blocks, so Orton elbows him down. He goes up, but Angle is ready with the pop-up overhead suplex - only for Randy to swat him down. Flying bodypress, but Kurt rolls through for two, so Orton levels him with a lariat. RKO, but Angle counters to the Anklelock - Orton countering to a victory cradle for two. That just serves to piss Angle off, however, and the Anklelock finishes at 15:18. Nothing special overall, but Angle's execution was flawless throughout. **

The Full Blooded Italians v Tajiri and Super Crazy: Tony Mamaluke starts with Crazy, and a reversal sequence allows the announcers to stop and make fun of the fact that Michael Cole wouldn't know what the fuck a keylock is. Crazy with a fireman's carry slam for two, and a dropkick knocks Tony into the ropes for a whip into a hiptoss. Tony with a hiptoss of his own into a short-armscissors, but Crazy powers out and hits a sitout flapjack to setup a standing moonsault for two. Both men tag, and Little Guido is less than eager to face off against Tajiri. Tajiri throws kicks, but Guido counters a tilt-a-whirl into a fujiwara armbar - Tajiri getting the ropes to escape. Guido keeps after the arm, but Tajiri fights him off, and ties him in a tree of woe. That brings Tony in, but Crazy cuts him off with a dropkick, and they hang them both in trees for stereo baseball slides. Dust settles on Crazy hitting a springboard moonsault on Guido (in the loosest sense of the word), but Tony pulls him out as Crazy tries another one. The Italians bail, but Crazy goes after them with a springboard moonsault press, so Big Guido jumps him, and the Italians take control. They cut the ring in half on Crazy, but Tajiri comes in to break things up with more kicks, and there's the tag! Tajiri is a dojo of fire, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on! The faces hook the Italians in stereo tarantulas, so Big Guido comes in again, but they fight him off. The distraction is enough to allow the Italians to recover though, and Crazy gets dumped into the crowd so they can go two-on-one against Tajiri. Tandem-fisherman's busters finishes him at 12:25. Watchable. ** ½

World Heavyweight Title Extreme Rules Match: Rey Mysterio v Sabu: Wow, Sabu has not aged well. Both guys start with chairs in hand at the bell, but the referee makes them put them away. 'Extreme rules' my ass. They do a brief reversal sequence before both grabbing the chairs for some dueling chairs, and Sabu hits the Air Sabu in the corner. He tries a follow-up, but Mysterio catches him with a drop-toehold into the chair, then springboards off it with a rana. 619 is dodged, however, and Sabu dropkicks the knee, then throws a chair at his head to send the champ to the floor. Sabu follows out to setup a table between the rail and the apron, but a double-springboard dive misses, and Sabu hits the rail. Some fat woman in the crowd looks like she does not appreciate any of this but at all. Rey with a flying moonsault press for two on the way back in, but Sabu blocks a springboard, and hits a 2^nd rope flying legdrop for two. Reverse chinlock wears Mysterio down, and the Arabian facebuster gets two. Sabu tries setting up a table in the aisle, but Mysterio dropkicks him off the apron, and drives him through it with a springboard seated senton. It should be noted that the Network's closed captioning refers to the 'ECW' chant as the 'fecal' chant. That's just mean. Back in, Rey gets two out of the deal, and a springboard rocker dropper gets two. A springboarding reversal sequence ends in Sabu hitting a springboard leg lariat, and the triple jump moonsault gets two! 2^nd rope Arabian facebuster misses, however, and Mysterio tries another springboard seated senton, but ends up landing balls-first on a chair! Sabu then throws it in his face to knock the champ out onto the table (still positioned between the rail and ring), and he dives after him with a springboard DDT through it! Wild! Unfortunately, that kills both guys, and the referee rules them both unable to continue at 9:09. A total spotfest, very reminiscent of the glory days of the original ECW. The finish sucked, though. ***

Six-Person Tag Team Extreme Rules Match: Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer, and Beulah McGillicutty v Mick Foley, Edge, and Lita: This is originally scheduled as a tag match, but the ladies are added in as the result of a last second challenge by Beulah. It's so weird to see her looking like a normal soccer mom here. She looks like she's more likely to scold Foley for not eating healthy snacks than doing anything particularly hardcore. She is working this match in heels though, which is something. Dreamer starts with Edge, and he dodges an enzuigiri to put Edge down, so he passes out to Foley. Mick wants Funk, however, and Terry obliges - though Dreamer and Edge continue to brawl all the while! The entire match settles into a weapon-filled brawl around ringside between the guys, and as Funk battles Foley in the aisle, Dreamer manages to counter a Spear from Edge with a hiptoss onto a ladder. Kudos to them for using an actual work ladder, instead of the usual customized wrestling ones. Funk grabs the ladder to recreate the famous airplane spin spot, but Edge tips him over as he climbs for a moonsault. Lita then takes out Dreamer with a low blow, allowing Foley and Edge to retrieve a piece of plywood covered in barbed wire - which they promptly suplex onto a downed Dreamer! They try again, but Funk sweeps their legs from the floor, and it ends up falling onto Edge! That allows Dreamer to set the board up in the corner, and they whip Mick into it. It's real wire too, and it's nasty. The women have done almost nothing (other than the occasional cheap shot) thus far. More barbed wire gets blood flowing from everyone with a penis, and Funk in particular bleeds such a gusher that he has to be taken to the back for medical attention by the latex police. That leaves Tommy alone to get beaten on by all three, as Beulah just kind of hangs out. It's hilarious seeing her desperately reach for a tag, when literally the whole match has been a tornado style brawl. With Dreamer all but finished after a barbed wire bat to the balls shot, they turn their attention to her. Foley slaps the Mandible Claw on her, but Dreamer tries to save, so Mick puts it on him instead - setting up a Spear from Edge. Back to Beulah for some blatant sexual assault, but a bloody Funk returns through the crowd brandishing a barbed 2x4. Hilarious moment as Terry climbs over the rail, and some kid encouragingly pats him on the arm - only to get covered in blood in the process. The way he just stares in shock at his now-blood covered hand is fantastic. Anyway, Terry takes the heels out with the 2x4, and Beulah helps him light it on fire to beat Mick with. Crazy moment, as Funk wallops the flannel-covered Foley with the flaming 2x4, and Mick CATCHES FIRE! Oh, shit. Terry helps put it out by knocking him off the apron into the barbed plywood board, as Dreamer hits Edge with a DDT. He tries choking him with a loose strand of barbed wire, but Lita saves - finally triggering a reaction from Beulah for the catfight! Tommy saves Beulah with a death valley driver on Lita, but Edge recovers with the Edge-o-Matic on Tommy, they Spears Beulah for a very adult pinning position at 18:45. Just a garbage brawl, but that fits in with the tone of this show, and they went all in on it - fully committing to the insanity. *** ½  

Extreme Rules Match: Balls Mahoney v Masato Tanaka: Feeling out process to start, and Tanaka wins a criss cross with a bodypress for two. Cross corner forearm hits, but he runs into a powerslam for two on another criss cross. Balls misses a charge and spills to the outside (I hate it when balls spill to the outside), but Tanaka's attempt to follow with a plancha doesn't end well. We get some old school ECW fun, as both guys steal drinks from the crowd to use as weapons, and Tanaka vertical superplexes him for two on the way back in. Balls responds with a superplex of his own for two, and we get the dueling chairs bit. Balls gets the better of it, and a chairshot finishes Tanaka at 5:04. Not much to this one, just a quick little trip down memory lane as something of a cool down between the two big matches. And that's fine. ½*

Main Event: WWE Title Extreme Rules Match: John Cena v Rob Van Dam: This is RVD's Money in the Bank cash-in. It's also the source of the now rather infamous 'if Cena wins, we riot' banner displayed prominently in the crowd. And man, today's smart ass NXT and occasional main roster crowds ain't got NOTHING on ECW fans. And they haven't lost a step since the 90s, absolutely savaging poor Cena during the entrances, including throwing his t-shirt back at him several times. To his credit, John rolls with it, and the heat is unreal. Cena controls to start, but a fisherman's suplex gets only one, as he crowd continues to brutalize Cena. You know it's 2006 when there are signs in the crowd promoting MySpace pages. RVD manages to send the champ to the outside with a kick combo, and back in, Van Dam dominates a slugfest, but runs into a powerslam for two. John clotheslines him over the top, and follows with a flying forearm smash on the floor. He beats Van Dam all around ringside, but Rob manages to springboard off the steps for a moonsault press, then springboards off the rail - only for Cena to shove him into the crowd to block! John follows for a brawl in the hostile territory, including a cute bit where he steals a 'fuck you Cena' sign, and puts it over Van Dam's face before punching him. Rob nails him on the way back over the rail, however, and hits a corkscrew legdrop off the apron. Baseball slide and a slingshot legdrop setup a chair-assisted dropkick in the corner for two, and a corkscrew legdrop sets up rolling thunder with a chair for two. Slam sets up a split-legged moonsault, but Cena uses the chair to block, and he drives Van Dam into it again with a DDT for two. Slingshot into a corner mounted chair gets two (and is nicely taken by Van Dam), and the spinning side suplex sets up the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena looks to be having a ball trolling the crowd. FU looks to finish, but Van Dam counters with a spinheel kick - only to get slammed down off the top as he tries following up! Reversal sequence ends in Cena falling out of the ring following a botch by Van Dam, and Rob brings a table into the ring as John takes a moment to regroup from that. Cena gets him in the STF before he can use the table, but Van Dam gets the ropes, and Cena totally embraces the heel role by decking the referee after an argument over the break. Vertical superplex hinders Van Dam's recovery, and John bashes him with the ring steps for two from a second referee. John dumps him to the outside with a fireman's carry over the top, when suddenly a masked man arrives, and spears the champ through a table! He's immediately revealed as Edge, and Rob capitalizes with the Five Star Frogsplash! No referee, however, so Paul Heyman runs in, and counts the fall himself at 20:39! The and place goes wild, of course! The entire locker room empties out to help Van Dam celebrate his big win, and it's a great moment to end the show on. The match wasn't anything special in the general sense, but it was buoyed by the atmosphere. It was also really fun to see Cena get a chance to cut loose and play heel. ** ¾

BUExperience: A lot of fun, anyone who remembers the original ECW will love it!

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