WWE Hell in a Cell (October 2016)

Original Airdate: October 30, 2016

From Boston, Massachusetts; Your Hosts are Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, and Corey Graves

Opening WWE United States Title Hell in a Cell Match: Roman Reigns v Rusev: The status bar clocks in at just under FOUR HOURS, but I'm hoping that's just the post-game show bunched in again, like at No Mercy. Fair warning, I'm automatically giving this show a 'DUD' rating if I actually have to sit through four hours of it. Though, lets face it, they probably don't need any help 'achieving' that rating. Who opens a show with a Cell match, anyway? No, wait. Better question: who books a show with THREE Cell matches? Rusev controls early on, as Reigns opts to sell by looking bored out of his mind. He manages to knock Rusev off the apron into the cage, then goes out to toss him into it a few times. They brawl out there in dull, plodding fashion, and Rusev sends him into the post a couple of times before rolling him in for two. Well, of course, we're only fifteen minutes into the show. Roman is lucky they went on first, because those puppy's would have likely heated up to LUKEWARM temperature by main event time. Rusev with a corner whip for two, and a series of avalanches follow, but a splash misses, and Reigns unloads in the corner. This match is dying a slow death, and killing the crowd right out the gate. Roman with a big boot, but Rusev bails to avoid the Superman Punch, so Reigns follows out for the Drive-By - only to run into a clothesline. Rusev follows up by whipping him into the steps, then brings the steps into the ring. He places them on the top turnbuckle, but Reigns blocks a shot into it, and clotheslines his challenger over the top. He follows, but Rusev snake-eyes him into the cell wall, and finds a kendo stick underneath the ring. I get why they'd have extra chairs or tables under there, but why in the world would the ring crew keep a kendo stick underneath the ring? Reigns hits a Drive-By to knock it away from him before he can use it, however, and he goes to work on Rusev. Rusev turns the tide on the way back in, and ties Reigns in the ropes - beating him with the stick until it breaks. That seemed like it was supposed to be a dramatic high point, but it just wasn't. Reigns comes back with a lariat for two, and the Superman gets two. Spear, but Rusev counters with a superkick, and he whips Reigns into the corner mounted steps for two. Accolade looks to finish, but Reigns escapes, so Rusev superkicks him down again. He retrieves a chain from underneath the ring to whip Reigns with, then superkicks him again for two. The most excitement they're generating from me with this is that I know it's almost over. Rusev goes for the kill with an Accolade on the steps while also fish hooking Roman with the chain, but Reigns powers out of that with a Samoan drop onto said steps. They’ve so thoroughly bored the crowd that that barely even drew a reaction. Spear finishes at 24:36. Yes, they gave this shit twenty five minutes to open the show with! Look on the bright side though, the next time you've got insomnia, here's a non-medicated solution! ¾*

Bayley v Dana Brooke: Dana tries to patronize her to start, but Bayley doesn't take it well, and grabs a headlock. Brooke powers out, so Bayley unloads turnbuckle smashes and a corner dropkick for two, and a springboard armdrag sets up a charge in the corner - only for Dana to counter with a weak stungun. Dana with a bootchoke, then a handstand version. You know, there's some moves that really don't need any innovation beyond the original concept, and I'd rank a bootchoke at the top of that list. Brooke works the arm, but a handstand rana is blocked, and Bayley dropkicks her - only to have Dana attack the arm again. Bayley fights her off with a stunner across the middle rope, and she starts mounting her comeback. 2^nd rope corkscrew backelbow sets up the Bayley-to-Belly, and we're done at 6:26. The women at the top of the card may be redefining their sport for generations to come, but the division as a whole still has a lot of problems. Too many people not yet ready for prime time called up in order to beef up numbers, and it weakens the division as a whole. I still think they'd be a lot better off by cutting the number of women on the main roster down by about half, and merging them all onto one show. ¼*

Enzo & Cass v Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson: We're over an hour into the show at this point, and the combined match rating total still hasn't gone over one-star. Enzo Amore starts with Anderson, and wins a criss cross before passing out to Big Cass. He unloads on Anderson in the corner to draw Gallows in, and the faces clean house - Cass then throwing Enzo out of the ring onto both heels. Enzo makes the mistake of trying to fight them both by himself out there, however, and gets clobbered. Inside, they cut the ring in half on Enzo, but he manages to block a vertical superplex from Anderson, and nail Karl with a 2^nd rope flying DDT. Cass gets the tag and comes in all hot and bothered - Roseanne Barr the door! Multiple stinger splashes for everyone with a shaved head, but Enzo runs into a superkick from Gallows, and the Magic Killer finisher him off at 6:43. This was a match that happened. * ¼

WWE Universal Title Hell in a Cell Match: Kevin Owens v Seth Rollins: Owens runs right to the floor to search for weapons, but Seth nails him with a baseball slide, and they brawl on the outside. In, Rollins wins a criss cross with a sling blade for two, and a snapmare sets up a shining wizard. 2^nd rope flying somersault neckbreaker gets two, so Seth goes to the outside to setup a table - allowing Owens to recover and whip Rollins into the corner, then follow-up with a pair of senton splashes to the back. Seth bails to avoid the Cannonball in the corner, but Owens is right on his tail, and beats on him out there. Inside, Kevin continues to work him over, and he sends Rollins flying out of the ring so hard that Seth smacks right into the side of the cell. Nice bump there. Back in, Owens corner clotheslines him to setup the Cannonball, then back to the floor for another one against the side of the cell! In for the Pop-Up Powerbomb, but Rollins counters to a Pedigree, only for Owens to block, and both guys to superkick each other. That doesn't end the sequence, however, as they continue to reverse each other, until Owens dodges an enzuigiri, and clobbers him with a clothesline! That leaves both men down, but Owens got the better of it, and he goes to the floor to setup a second table - leaning it against the side of the cell, over the table that Rollins setup earlier. He tries to use it, but Rollins has recovered, and hits a sweet suplex-slam on the apron, then follows up with a pair of topes. Good effort, but those didn't come off well, as the cell doesn't give them enough space to properly position themselves for those dives. He keeps coming, but Owens uses a fire extinguisher to block - blinding the referee in the process. That brings a second referee in to help, which allows Chris Jericho to slip in while the door is open. Owens drills Seth with a package powerbomb for two, but a trip to the top rope is thwarted, and Rollins hits a springboard high knee. Pedigree, but Jericho comes in, so Seth gives it to him instead - allowing Owens to recover with a superkick. Powerbomb into the table stack from earlier, but Seth counters with an enzuigiri, and he delivers his own powerbomb through both tables! That was really cool. He rolls Kevin back in for a flying frogsplash, but Jericho pulls the referee out at two. Seth kicks his ass on the floor over it, and delivers a running powerbomb into the cell. Note to Jericho: don't wear jeans in the ring again, unless they're giving you a plumber gimmick. All that gets Chris out of the way, but it also allows Owens to recover, and he delivers the Pop-Up Powerbomb for two as Rollins climbs back in. Mounted punches follow, as Chris recovers, and brings a chair into the ring. He passes it to Kevin to go to town on Seth with, but Rollins gets it away from him, and beats on both guys with it. Owens manages to use the numbers against him long enough to DDT Rollins onto the chair, then sets a pair of unfolded chairs up for a powerbomb to retain at 23:10. It took a little while to get properly going, but was quite good overall, and Jericho's involvement invigorated the last third. *** ½

WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: TJ Perkins v Brian Kendrick: Reversal sequence to start, and Kendrick nicely brushes off a dropkick attempt, and makes a quick lateral press for two. He takes TJ down during a test-of-strength, but Perkins escapes, so Brian tries a sunset flip for two. Another reversal sequence ends in Perkins hooking a magistral cradle for two, and a springboard bodypress puts Brian down for a slingshot somersault senton. Kendrick bails, so Perkins tries a springboard dive, but Brian dodges, and starts working the arm. Cute bit, as he uses TJ's wrist tape to tie him to the bottom rope for a beating. Well, cute in theory, as unfortunately the cameraman's extreme close-up totally exposes them, and leaves Perkins looking like an idiot by pretending his hand is tied to the rope when it quite clearly isn't. Brian with a side suplex for two, and he grounds the champion in a cravat. TJ escapes with a neckbreaker, and he throws a dropkick at the knee to stagger his challenger. Springboard dropkick sends Kendrick to the outside for a corkscrew plancha, and a snap suplex is rolled into a side suplex on the way back in. To the top, but Brian dropkicks him out of the air for two - only to lose a kick exchange. TJ punctuates it with a fireman's kick for two, but a wheelbarrow bulldog is countered with a cradled side suplex for two. That was a nice little counter there. Victory cradle is quickly transitioned into the Captains Hook (What happened to the Bully Choke? Please don't tell me they made him change it because the word 'bully' or 'choke' doesn't fit in with some corporate PC bullshit. That is probably why, though), but TJ counters into a cradle for two. Brian tries a suplex, but Kendrick counters to the kneebar, but Kendrick gets the ropes. Brian manages a reverse STO into the turnbuckles, but he twists his knee trying Sliced Bread, and TJ makes the mistake of backing off. A big mistake, it turns out, as Kendrick was playing possum, and gets him back in the Hook for the title at 10:31. This was technically fine, but they've sucked all the soul of the Cruiserweight Classic out of the division completely, and this felt flat. *** ¼

WWE RAW Tag Team Title Match: The New Day v Cesaro and Sheamus: Xavier Woods starts with Cesaro, and uses a headscissors to take him down for a dropkick on the ropes. Sheamus throws a cheap shot to put Woods down on the outside, however, and he throws him into the barricade out there. The challengers cut the ring in half on Woods while constantly at each others throats the entire time, but Big E gets the tag, and starts throwing Sheamus around with suplexes galore. Splash and a powerbomb get two, but Sheamus escapes a front-powerslam, and tilt-a-whirl slams the big man for two. White Noise on Xavier gets two, but he blocks the cloverleaf, so Cesaro hits him with a double-stomp for two. Giant swing, but Woods blocks, and superkicks both challengers to setup a flying elbowdrop on Cesaro for two. He got some sick distance on that one. Cesaro is less impressed, and destroys him with uppercuts to setup the giant swing, shifted right into the sharpshooter, but Big E comes in with a release overhead suplex to save. Midnight Hour, but Sheamus saves - only to accidentally big boot his own partner in the process! That gives Woods two, and Roseanne Barr the door, we've got a kettle on! Cesaro counters a shining wizard with another sharpshooter, and this time Sheamus takes out Big E to prevent a save! That draws the ire of Kofi Kingston, however, and the referee disqualifies the champions at 11:15. Shitty finish, but an alright match. **

Main Event: WWE RAW Women's Title Hell in a Cell Match: Sasha Banks v Charlotte: This is notable both for being the first female Hell in a Cell, and also the first time a women's match has closed a main roster pay per view. Charlotte attacks before the cell is finished being lowered, and she drops Sasha out underneath it, hoping she'll get crushed! Luckily, the referee signals the ring crew to stop lowering it in time, and they end up spilling into the crowd for a brawl. Don't think that's a first, but it's certainly a rarity for women's matches nonetheless. They fight back over the rail, and Charlotte starts to climb the side of the cell, but Banks is on her tail. She bashes Charlotte's face into the steel to knock her off, but as she climbs back down, Charlotte is ready - pulling her of the side, and powerbombing her through an announce table! Wild! They're not just crossing new barriers for women's wrestling, they're barreling through them! The only line I hope they don't cross is getting color. I've only seen it done in the WWE once before (between Trish Stratus and Lita), and I don't want to see it again. I'm sure some will accuse me of sexism there, but I don't care. So, anyway, Sasha is dead and can't continue, so the EMTs come out, and put her on a stretcher. As she's being wheeled out of the arena, Charlotte is declared the winner via forfeit, but that lights a fire inside of Sasha, and she pulls herself into the cell - demanding to defend. They lock the door to officially start the match (everything thus far was before the match even ever started), and an angry Banks unloads on her challenger! Charlotte rams her into the post to stop that effort, and a monkeyflip into the cell wall follows. Into the ring, Charlotte stretches her, then delivers an exploder suplex into the turnbuckles for two. Man, Sasha's career is not going to last long if she keeps taking these kinds of bumps regularly. Which is a shame, she's a young lady. She manages to power Charlotte into the Bank Statement, but Charlotte powers to her feet to escape, and sidewalk slams Sasha over the top to the floor! Charlotte retrieves a chair, but Sasha baseball slides into her before she can use it, then follows out with a tope! Seriously, she's going to end up like Daniel Bryan sooner than later. Sasha tries using the chair, but Charlotte blocks, and cracks her with chops in the corner. She gets cocky, however, and runs into a drop-toehold into the chair, and Sasha follows with a series of smashes into it, but walks into a sidewalk slam onto the chair! Charlotte wraps her around the post to stretch the back some more, but gets cocky again, and Banks nails her with a flying double high knee off the side of the cage! Another pair of double high knees follow, then back in for another one against the turnbuckles. That sets up an Eddie Guerrero tribute in the form of a three-alarm rolling vertical suplex, and a flying frogsplash for two. Statement, but Charlotte gets into the ropes, so Banks punishes her with a double diving kneedrop onto a chair for two. They spill to the outside, and Charlotte sets up a table to try vertical superplexing Sasha through, but Banks knocks her off, and through the table! It was a weak bump, but I appreciate the effort there. Inside, it gets two, so Sasha goes out to get another table, but Charlotte ends up shoving it back - sandwiching the champ between the table and the cell! With her down, Charlotte sets the table up in the ring, but Sasha gets feisty, so Charlotte big boots her instead of using it. Figure Eight looks to finish, but Sasha grabs a chair while in the hold, and smacks Charlotte to break. Statement, but Charlotte counters with a two-alarm backbreaker, no released into a sidewalk slam for two! Both are on fumes at this point, and Charlotte goes for the kill by putting Sasha on the table to setup the flying moonsault. Sasha has got a pretty extreme wedgie going on here. Charlotte goes up, but Sasha crotches her up there, and tries a running powerbomb through the table - only for her back to give out, and Charlotte to put her away with the Natural Selection at 20:55. Well, that was something! Certainly a huge step in terms of how we view women's wrestling, both in style, length, and position on the card. With all the pre-match brawling, this was a full half an hour, which is pretty much unheard of for women's matches. Charlotte was a little bit scared of the ball when it came to taking bumps, and there were a few awkward transitions, but they earned their place in history tonight. *** ½

BUExperience: The first half is pretty terrible, but once you get to the Universal Title match, things get a lot better. I don’t know if I’d recommend sitting through the show as a whole because, while a lot of it was technically sound, most of the matches tended to fall flat, and failed to connect with the crowd. The main event is definitely unique and worth checking out, though

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