WWE Cyber Sunday (November 2006)

Original Airdate: November 5, 2006

From Cincinnati, Ohio; Your Hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

Opening Match: Umaga v Kane: Kane is the voted opponent with 49% of the vote over Sandman and Chris Benoit. Umaga tries a sneak attack, but that goes about as well as you'd expect a sneak attack coming from a three hundred fifty pound tatted up Samoan to go. Kane unloads on him, but makes the mistake of trying a turnbuckle smash, and gets nailed. You'd think a veteran would know better. Umaga with a belly-to-belly suplex and a spinheel kick, so Kane tries a big boot, but Umaga shrugs it off and delivers a reverse STO. The crowd is letting me down big time by failing to start a 'boring' chant for this. Umaga with a bodyslam to setup a 2^nd rope flying headbutt for two, and he hammers Kane in the corner in plodding fashion to setup the Wrecking Ball. Kane bails to the outside, but manages to duck a clothesline against the post when Umaga follows, and he rams the Samoan into the steps. Back in, Kane slugs away, and a pair of avalanches hit, but he walks right into a Samoan drop. He sits up and tries for the chokeslam, but Umaga rakes the eyes - only to miss an avalanche of his own. That allows Kane a side suplex, but Umaga slugs him out of the air as he tries a flying clothesline, and the Spike finishes at 8:39. They should have picked Benoit. ½*

Texas Tornado Match: The Highlanders v Cryme Tyme v Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch v Charlie Haas and Viscera: Texas Tornado is voted on as the stipulation with 50% of the vote over Tag Team Turmoil and Fatal Four-Way. Big brawl to start, duh. You've gotta hand it to Viscera for having enough longevity to still be employed by the same company over ten full years after bombing as Mabel. You'd think he'd be into the local flea market headliner portion of his career by this point, but nope. The match is basically just a collection of guys clearing the ring so they can work in a high spot before the next team clears them out, and little more. Cryme Tyme put the Highlanders away for the win at 4:38. Not poorly worked, but also not engaging. ½*

WWE Intercontinental Title Match: Jeff Hardy v Carlito: Carlito is voted in as the challenger with 62% of the vote over Shelton Benjamin and Johnny Nitro. Hard to believe Jeff isn't even thirty yet at this point. Feeling out process to start, with a bunch of rather sloppy exchanges. Carlito dropkicks the knee to take control, and a vertical suplex gets him two. Criss cross allows Hardy to throw his own dropkick, and he adds a clothesline for two. Leg-feed corkscrew kick sends Carlito to the outside, and Jeff is after him with a baseball slide, and he rail runner bodypress - only for Carlito to dropkick him out of the air as he attempts it. Inside, that gets the challenger two, and he grounds Hardy in a chinlock. Jeff escapes, but the Twist of Fate is blocked, and Carlito schoolboys him for two. Carlito works a waistlock, but Jeff gets the ropes, so Carlito snapmares him to setup a legdrop for two. Back to the waistlock, as the crowd gets restless. Hey, you picked it. Jeff escapes, but walks into an over-the-shoulder facebuster for two, and Carlito delivers a backbreaker for two. Chinlock (again), but Jeff escapes (again), and hits a sloppy tornado DDT. Jeff mounts his comeback, and a sling blade is worth two. Sitout gourdbuster gets two, but Carlito lifts the knees for block the Swanton for two, and now the crowd is suddenly into it big time. Carlito with a springboard somersault senton splash and a springboard moonsault for two, but a springboard twisting bodypress misses, and Jeff tries the Twist of Fate - Carlito blocking. Jeff fires off the Whisper in the Wind for two, but another try at the Swanton gets him crotched on the top. Carlito tries to bring him down with a rana, but Hardy blocks, and the Swanton retains at 13:24. Ugly match. They didn't work well together at all, with some notably awkward exchanges, and way too much resting. *

Triple H and Shawn Michaels v Rated-RKO: Eric Bischoff acts as the special guest referee for this one, winning 60% of the vote over Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman. Hard to believe Vince and Coach tied in the voting, but I guess that just goes to show how tired everyone was of the endless McMahon/Michaels saga by that point. Michaels starts with Edge, and they feel each other out. Shawn with a sunset flip, but Bischoff is too slow to get to the count in time, so Michaels abuses Edge with chops in the corner instead. Another sunset flip gets two, and HBK grounds him in an armbar. Over to HHH for something off the top, but he changes his mind midway through, and just kicks Edge in the arm instead. Okay then. Hunter with a series of jabs, but Edge goes to the eyes, and tags. Randy Orton cross corner whips the Game, but HHH barrels out of the corner with a lariat, and he vertical suplexes the Viper's ass. Kneedrop and some mounted punches follow, but Randy throws a knee to fight him off, and adds a dropkick for two. Over to Edge with the Edge-o-Matic for two, and Randy tags back in to stomp a mud hole in the corner. Rated-RKO cut the ring in half, but HHH nails Edge as he comes off the middle rope, and the Game delivers a DDT. Tag to Shawn, and Edge eats a jumping forearm, followed by an inverted atomic drop. Bodyslam sets up a flying elbowdrop, but Randy hooks the ankle from the floor to prevent a superkick, and he crotches HBK on the post for good measure. That gives Edge a two count, and the heels cut the ring in half on their new victim. Shawn is able to dodge a Spear from Edge that ends up hitting Bischoff, and he capitalizes with a leg-feed enzuigiri for a double knockout. I love how both guys desperately crawl for the tag when the referee is down anyway. They both make it, and HHH comes in hot on both heels. Pedigree looks to finish Orton, but Edge saves with a Spear, so Shawn tosses him to the outside for a plancha! That allows Orton to hit HHH with the RKO, and a new referee runs down to count two! Another RKO, but Shawn blocks by Superkicking Randy! HHH covers, but now Bischoff is alive, and he pulls the new referee out at two! Michaels goes after Eric on the outside, but Edge fights him off with a chair! Inside, Randy hits Hunter with a chair as well, and an RKO onto the steel finishes at 18:09. The match was only 'okay', but the last few minutes were super exciting. ** ¼

WWE Women's Title Lumberjill Match: Lita v Mickie James: This is a tournament final for the vacant title. The stipulation wins 46% of the vote over No Disqualification and Submission matches. Lita tosses her over the top right away so the Jills can do her dirty work for her, but Mickie fights them off, and gives Lita the same courtesy. Back in, Mickie controls with jabs, and Lita tries to bail, but the Jills stop her. The match goes nowhere fast as Lita and Mickie struggle to string any sequences together, and Lita hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Sleeper, but James counters with a headscissors, so Lita gets the ropes. They seem to be working at half speed tonight, for whatever reason. Mickie mounts a comeback, but a rana sends both girls over the top, and the Jills stomp them both down before rolling them back in. Mickie tries Trish's springboard bulldog to finish, but badly wipes out in the corner, and Lita capitalizes with a leveraged pin for two. She gets into a fight with the Jills for shoving her feet off of the ropes, allowing Mickie a schoolgirl for two, but James gets tripped up by some other Jills, and Lita hits a DDT for the title at 8:09. This was bad, and also really long for a match with so little to say. The ringside eye candy was nice, at least. –½*

World Tag Team Title Match: The Spirit Squad v Ric Flair and Roddy Piper: Kenny and Mikey represent the squad tonight. Piper is Flair's voted in partner, winning 46% of the vote over Dusty Rhodes and Sgt. Slaughter. I believe they were trying to sway it so Dusty would win, but the fans wanted Piper. Roddy's in absolutely terrible shape here - pale, with a massive gut, and man boobs to boot. He looks like Buddy Rose in the Blow Away commercials. And yet, he elects to go it shirtless, like he's still in the same shape he was in back in 1985. Kenny starts with Ric, and Flair controls a feeling out process. One thing Ric must have loved about this is that he looks like an Adonis next to Roddy. Piper also looks like an Adonis - albeit the one he faced at WrestleMania III. Roddy tags in and smacks Mikey around, but runs into trouble when the rest of the Squad interfere, and they cut the ring in half on the Hot Rod. They miss a super electric splash to allow the hot tag to Flair, and Roseanne Barr the door! The challengers dominate Mikey, and Flair gets the Figure Four on, but Kenny comes off the top with a gorgeous flying legdrop to save. That leaves them  in a double knockout, but Ric recovers first for another Figure Four, and this time Piper cuts off Mikey at 6:57. HUGE pop for that one! The match was pretty horrible, but as a moment, it was fantastic. ¾*

Main Event: World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat Match: Booker T v John Cena v Big Show: Cena is the WWE Champion and Big Show is the ECW Champion, but only Booker's belt is on the line with 67% of the vote. First fall wins. Booker tries to convince Cena to work together to get Show out of the running first, but John punches him in the face instead. And then Show proceeds to beat the shit out of Cena. Serves him right. Booker casually hangs out on the floor and apron while Show knocks John around, until he sees an opening, and hits Show with an axekick on the apron. Booker hustles in to capitalize with a flurry of chops, but Show shrugs him off, and smacks him down in the corner. We're only a couple of minutes in, and this is already starting to drag, thanks to Show's lumbering offense. Show bodyslams Booker, but Cena breaks up a pin attempt, and tries slugging Show down. That goes badly, but some help from Booker is enough to stagger the giant, and they work together to knock him over the top. See, if Cena wasn't such a stubborn prick, they could have done that right at the bell. Booker immediately turns on John with a schoolboy for two, but Cena is able to duck a clothesline and deliver a vertical suplex for two - Show pulling John out to stop the count, and clotheslining him on the floor. Show grabs the stairs and lumbers towards John, but Cena manages a drop-toehold to drive the giant's own face into the steel! Back in to finish Booker, but John is met with the BookEnd for two. Savate kick gets two, so Cena tries to slug at him, but eats a sloppy hotshot to setup a superkick for two. Sidewalk slam gets two, but a charge in the corner ends badly, and John returns fire with a belly-to-belly suplex for two. Reversal sequence ends in Booker hooking a sleeper, but John counters out with a side suplex for two. Flying splash, but Booker rolls out of the way, and hooks the leg for two. Axekick, but Cena counters to the FU - only for Booker to counter back with a DDT for two. Bodyslam, but Cena counters with a Russian legsweep for two, and he hooks the STFU on! There's some shitty little kid in the first row who just won't sit down all night, and the poor people behind him are constantly straining to crane their necks to be able to see anything. Booker quickly gets the ropes, but misses the Harlem sidekick, and John cross corner backelbows him. Vertical suplex follows for two, but Show wakes up as he tries a superplex, and tries bringing Cena down with an electric chair - only for Booker to dive with a missile dropkick to knock both men down! Booker and Cena try a tandem suplex on Show, but he reverses, and starts knocking everyone around with headbutts. Both guys get an avalanche in the corner, and a double-shoulderblock follows. Chokeslam on Booker hits, but John attacks before he can cover. Show responds by dumping him to the outside to put through an announce table, but Cena sends him into the post, and rushes in to hit Booker before he can fully recover. Five Knuckle Shuffle hits, so Sharmell runs in with the title belt, but Cena is ready with an FU for her. That allows Booker to recover, but John cuts him off with the STFU, and suddenly Kevin Federline runs in to attack him with the title belt! Yes, K-Fed. That is not a typo. That allows Booker to whack him with the belt as well, and he retains at 21:08. The Booker/Cena portions were strong, but Show dragged the match down tremendously, and any finish involving Kevin Federline is automatically a bad finish. ***

BUExperience: They should have kept running these on Tuesdays. At least then some poor asshole didn’t have to miss an episode of The Wire for this shit.

DUD