WWF WrestleMania IX (Version II)

Original Airdate: April 4, 1993

From Las Vegas, Nevada; Your Hosts are Jim Ross, Randy Savage, and Bobby Heenan – in Ross’ WWF debut

Opening WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Shawn Michaels v Tatanka: Third 'Mania opener in a row for HBK. Feeling out process to start, with Tatanka escaping a headlock with a side suplex, then corner whipping Michaels onto the apron - Shawn bumping to the floor off of a chop. Shawn continues to bump around like a pinball for his challenger, until he rakes the eyes, and hits a sloppy flying sunset flip for two. Criss cross goes the challenger's way with an inverted atomic drop, and another criss cross ends in Tatanka hitting a single-arm DDT. He grounds Michaels in an armbar, so Shawn uses the hair to escape, but a clothesline attempt only aggravates the arm, and Tatanka is able to reapply the hold, as the crowd files in. Tatanka with a shoulderbreaker to setup an elbowdrop, and a flying tomahawk chop hits, but a second is countered with a superkick. Of course, it's still 1993, so it doesn't even warrant a cover. Shawn tosses his challenger over the top for Luna Vachon to abuse, but Sensational Sherri gets in her way. Shawn hops out to do his own dirty work with a flying clothesline off of the apron, but Tatanka beats the count in, so Michaels delivers a swinging neckbreaker for two. Standing dropkick is worth two, and he grabs a chinlock. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Glenn Howerton based parts of his Dennis Reynolds character from It's Always Sunny on 1993 Shawn. A sloppy victory roll gets two, so they decide to redo whatever spot they were going for there a second time, and it turns out that it was supposed to be Tatanka countering with an electric chair for two. Elbowdrop follow-up misses, however, so Shawn tries a few 2^nd rope flying axehandles, but Tatanka starts no-selling everything. Michaels tries a superkick, but Tatanka catches the boot, and starts hammering him with chops - Shawn selling like crazy. Flying bodypress gets two, so Shawn tries a dropkick, but Tatanka counters with a catapult into the corner, followed by a schoolboy for two. End of the Trail, but Michaels counters with his own schoolboy for two. He goes up for a flying bodypress of his own, but Tatanka counters with a powerslam for two. He looks to follow-up, so Michaels thinks fast, and dumps him to the outside before he can. The champ follows with a flying bodypress off of the apron, but Tatanka sidesteps, and Shawn hits the steps - albeit, he barely grazes them. Way to be afraid of the ball there, buddy. I mean, I wouldn't want to fly into some steel steps either, but if you don't feel comfortable with the bump, don't work it into your act. Tatanka is in, so Shawn pulls the referee out to try and prevent a countout, but gets counted out anyway at 18:15. Shouldn't that have been a DQ? I think someone messed up there - either the referee or Finkel. Shit finish, but they didn't want to change the title, and they didn't want to kill Tatanka's undefeated streak either, so that's what you get. As usual, Shawn could be counted on to be a bump machine, but there were A LOT of awkward exchanges here, along with some pretty noticeable botches - right down to the finish. ** (Original rating: ** ¾)

The Steiner Brothers v The Headshrinkers: Quite the 'fro on Fatu here. Scott Steiner starts with Fatu, and Scotty dominates on the mat, so Fatu turns it into a slugfest. Scott gets the better of that one with a Steinerline, so the Headshrinkers trap him in their corner for a beat down. They dump him, but prematurely stop to celebrate, and the Brothers comes off the same top rope with stereo flying clotheslines! The dust settles on Rick Steiner and Samu, and Rick throws his own Steinerline before tossing Samu into the post. Over to Scott for a tiger bomb, and he dropkicks an incoming Fatu out of the ring, but runs into a brutal hotshot - Fatu holding down the top rope so that Scott goes bumping all the way to the outside! Nasty as fuck! Afa whacks him with a cane out there, and Fatu bodyslams him on the floor before rolling Scotty back in. The Headshrinkers cut the ring in half, but Samu eats canvas while trying a flying splash, and brother Rick gets the tag! He's a doghouse of fire, and Roseanne Barr the door! Rick makes the mistake of trying to ram the Headshrinkers' heads together and gets clobbered with a tandem reverse Russian legsweep. They try an electric chair/flying bodypress combo, but Rick catches Samu with a powerslam in midair for two! Scott grabs Fatu with an overhead suplex, but Samu superkicks him before he can follow-up. Samu with a bodyslam, but a whip into the ropes ends badly when Scott catches him with the Frankensteiner at 14:22, which marks the Headshrinkers' first televised loss. These two teams had worked together a bunch of times back in WCW, and were clearly very comfortable and familiar with each other here. The match felt like it overstayed its welcome a little bit, but was totally solid otherwise. ** (Original rating: ** ½)

Crush v Doink the Clown: Doink suckers him into a chase around ringside right away, which backfires when Crush bodyslams him on the floor. The Hawaiian posts the Clown next, so Doink tries bailing into the crowd, but eats guardrail instead. In, Crush corners him for a beating, and a corner whip sends Doink bailing for the outside. He sweeps Crush out after him, but the Hawaiian no-sells the attack, and posts him again. Man, Crush sure is pissed about that whole 'attempted murder' thing, isn't he? Like, relax, dude. Neckbreaker and a snap across the top rope lead to a backbreaker, and Doink tries bailing again, but Crush hangs onto him. He wallops the Clown with forearms on the apron, but Doink manages to snap the big guys throat across the top rope, and he adds a flying axehandle. 2^nd rope flying forearm smash follows, as does a flying punch. See, now if Crush did that, they could call it the 'Hawaiian Punch,' and make dozens. I mean, let's stay realistic. Piledriver connects, and Doink rams him into the post to return the favor from earlier. Bodyslam sets up the Whoopee Cushion, but Crush lifts his boot to block. Doink attempts to keep control with a turnbuckle smash, but a 2^nd rope flying bodypress is countered with a powerslam, and Crush clotheslines his green haired ass over the top. Doink tries to hide underneath the ring, but Crush drags him in for a press-slam instead, and he slaps on the head cruncher. Unfortunately, the referee gets bumped in the process, and Doink is able to bail again when Crush lets off. He again tries to hide under the ring, but Crush drags him inside for a spinkick, and he latches that head cruncher on again. He has it well applied, but the referee is still down, and suddenly a second Doink appears sporting a fake arm. He bashes Crush from behind with it, which the crowd seems to find more funny than sinister. Cover, and the dazed referee counts the pinfall at 8:28. The original Doink character was really underrated, I'll say that. The match wasn't great, but it was watchable. The finish was kind of goofy, but it worked within the context. And, anyway, it's not like they were pretending Doink had cloned himself, or some other such supernatural occurrence. It wasn't portrayed as anything other than another dude dressed like him. I think it wouldn't be so poorly remembered had they bothered to follow up on it by introducing the attacker as a new heel ally for Doink. * ¼ (Original rating: ½*)

Razor Ramon v Bob Backlund: Backlund wants a handshake at the bell, but gets a toothpick instead. Hey, don't poopoo a toothpick! Oral hygiene is extremely important! Ramon shoves him around to start, so Backlund draws on his amateur background, and works a series of single-leg takedowns. Razor responds by suckering him into a cheap shot to setup a pair of bodyslams, but a cross corner whip gets reversed, and Backlund hits a pair of hiptosses. Dropkick follows, and a forearm smash puts Ramon on his ass. Bob with a butterfly suplex and a hanging atomic drop, but Razor catches him with an inside cradle at 3:45 - beating Backlund at his own game there. Razor was reportedly dealing with a staph infection at this point, so I'm not surprised that this wasn't much. But then, this had 'style clash' written all over it anyway. ¼* (Original rating: DUD)

WWF Tag Team Title Match: Money Inc v The Mega Maniacs: I'm honestly surprised Hogan didn't insist on getting a separate entrance from Beefcake. The crowd is enthused to see him, regardless. Money Inc attack before the bell, but the challengers quickly clean house, and the dust settles on Irwin R. Schyster and Brutus Beefcake to start. Irwin goes right after him with a knee, then shoves him into the heel corner to abuse along with Ted DiBiase. They work Brutus over, but the protective face mask causes a 2^nd rope flying axehandle from DiBiase to backfire, and a series of turnbuckle smashes end the same way for the Million Dollar Man. Tag to Hulk Hogan, and he unloads a ten-punch on DiBiase, then takes it to the mat for some mounted punches. Hulk looks so tiny and shriveled here compared to a few years prior. Axe bomber hits, and Beefcake tags in for a tandem big boot, then hits a bodyslam. Back to Hogan for a 2^nd rope flying axehandle of his own, and he clotheslines Ted over the top. That draws IRS in sans tag, but the Maniacs pinball him in the corner, and the Hulkster launches him over the top! Money Inc have had enough, and decide to walk out, but the referee rules that if they do not return by the count of ten, they will not only lose the match, but the title as well! I know that's a classic bit, and it's great for fan investment, but from a kayfabe perspective, why does the referee have the authority to suddenly change the rules at whim? His job is supposed to be enforcing the rules as they are written, not going into business for himself. Anyway, Money Inc beat the count in, and they double up on Hogan in the corner to take control. They choke him down with the tag rope for an extended period, and that weakens Hulk enough for DiBiase to apply the Million Dollar Dream! He doesn't even use the ropes or IRS for leverage and still manages to get Hogan down, which has got to be some sort of feat in its own right. Hulk fades, but the arm only drops twice, and in comes Beefcake with a Sleeper on DiBiase to help a woozy Hulkster out of the hold! That leaves both DiBiase and Hogan staring up at the clouds, and there's the tag to the Barber! Beefcake comes in hot on both champions, hitting IRS with a high knee, and sending DiBiase over the top with an atomic drop, but getting nailed with the metal briefcase before he can finish them off! Irwin capitalizes with a pair of elbowdrops, and Ted manages to tear off the protective mask - pounding on the face to draw heat out there in the desert. Money Inc cut the ring in half on Beefcake, but a tandem clothesline backfires, and Brutus gets the Sleeper on IRS! DiBiase saves, but the referee gets bumped in the process, and these idiots are still bothering with tags anyway. I mean, I can see the babyfaces playing it straight, but why is DiBiase wasting time with his hand stretched out? Hulk gets the (pointless) tag, and Roseanne Barr the door! The Maniacs bash both champions with the discarded protective mask, and they have it won, but there's no referee. Jimmy Hart thinks fast, and turns his jacket inside out (the lining of his jacket is, conveniently, black and white vertical stripes), and Hart counts the pin himself at 18:43! Hulk and Beefcake are actually dumb enough to think that counts, but of course another referee runs out, and awards the match to the champions by disqualification. And then, big poor sport baby that he is, Hogan beats up the referee for, you know, doing his job. Like, seriously, you cheated to knock Money Inc out with a weapon, then believed that a manager counting to three signified the end of the match, and you have the gall to be pissed at the REFEREE?!? I mean, you're not some rookie! You're a four-time world champion! You know that couldn't possibly count! DiBiase had actually suffered a herniated disk back in March, and had been working a very light schedule in hopes of recovering so that he could work this match. And, I'd say he did a fine job of masking any pain, to the point where you'd never really know that he was working hurt. The match was solid and engaging throughout, though the finish was terrible. Oddly, Beefcake would not wrestle on TV in the WWF again after this, which is kinda weird given the level of buildup. ** ¼ (Original rating: ¾*)

Mr. Perfect v Lex Luger: Feeling out process to start, with lots of basic reversals, until Perfect wins a criss cross by dropkicking Luger out of the ring. Back in, Lex tries to criss cross again, but Perfect takes a shot at the knee to bring him down, and he works the leg a bit. Spinning-toehold is applied, but Lex has the ropes to force a break. Perfect keeps pounding the leg, as an entire section of the crowd entertains themselves by trying to get on camera to see themselves on the big video screen. They're really into it too, give them that. Luger reverses a cross corner whip to turn the tide, and he dumps Perfect to the outside, going to work on the back. Lex with a backbreaker to setup a pointed elbowdrop for two, and Luger seems gassed already. Perfect fights him off in the corner, so Lex tries a leveraged pin, but gets caught by the referee at two. Powerslam gets two, but Perfect counters a backdrop with a sunset flip for two, and he tries a sleeper, but Luger rams his back into the corner to quickly break. Perfect keeps fighting with an inside cradle for two, and he hits a backdrop before whipping Luger into the corner. Catapult sends Lex into the turnbuckle, and a right hand is worth two. Ten-punch in the corner follows, so Lex tries an inverted atomic drop, but Perfect lunges at him with a clothesline for two. Swinging neckbreaker gets two, and Perfect goes up with a sloppy missile dropkick, but Luger is in the ropes at two. Backslide, but Lex uses the ropes to reverse, and gets the pin despite Perfect having his feet in the ropes at 10:56. I think this would have been better with the heel/face dynamic reversed, which is actually what we almost got in 1994, before Perfect bailed on them again. * ¼ (Original rating: * ½)

Undertaker v Giant Gonzalez: Funny moment, as some teen smacks Gonzalez' arm as he walks down to the ring, and then immediately shits his pants when the Giant stops and glares at him. He was imposing, give him that much. Undertaker's entrance on a gladiator pulled cart complete with buzzard is exactly the kind of perfect entrance that they never seemed to pull off with him on later daylight shows. Neat visual, with Undertaker staring UP at an opponent for the first time. He no-sells some of Giant's stuff, but gets choked in the corner to start. HOW DOES IT FEEL, BUDDY?! Undertaker tries his own choke, but Giant shrugs that off, so Undertaker goes up with the ropewalk forearm. He gets some traction with that, and unloads in the corner, but can't take Gonzalez off of his feet. Giant clotheslines him and applies a horrible looking chinlock, with poor Undertaker having to sell it despite the fact that Gonzalez can't even convincingly wrap his arm around 'Taker's head. Undertaker fights free, so Gonzalez tosses his undead ass to the outside, and he follows with some weak chops. He sends Undertaker into the steps out there, then unloads with headbutts on the way back in, but 'Taker keeps sitting up. Undertaker manages to knock him down to one knee after a barrage of punches, but Gonzalez gets hold of a chloroform soaked rag, and tries to suffocate him, until the referee calls for the DQ at 7:32. I find it kind of hilarious that the referee would even bother with a five count there. You'd think attempted murder with a chemical soaked rag would be grounds for automatic disqualification, but I guess not. I suppose he figured you can't kill the undead? This was, of course, utter garbage, and it spawned a terrible rematch, to boot. Given that the crowd was chanting for Hulk Hogan to make the save throughout the post-match beat down, I kinda wish they'd have just booked THAT instead of what we got, but given the state of the promotion in early 1993, you can't really blame them for wanting to try and restart the money train that was Hulkamania. This was as bad as it gets, though it definitely falls under the 'so bad, it's good' tab. -**** ½ (Original rating: -****)

Main Event: WWF Title Match: Bret Hart v Yokozuna: Yoko practically looks like a cruiserweight compared to his last days. Bret goes right at him with right hands at the bell, but an attempt at wrestling the monster goes badly, as he can't even begin to apply a waistlock, or hook a takedown. Yokozuna capitalizes by knocking the Hitman out of the ring with a shoulderblock, but Bret manages to sweep him down from the floor (to a huge pop), and then hit a slingshot splash on the way back in. 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop follows, and the crowd is hot for the Hitman! He throws a series of clotheslines, but Yoko absorbs them, and delivers his own clothesline to flatten the champion. Bodyslam and a legdrop crush the Hitman, and draw a big 'USA' chant from the crowd. Say what you will about this as a main event, but it certainly isn't lacking in crowd heat. Yokozuna grounds Hart in a nervehold (you had to know that was coming eventually), but an avalanche misses, and Bret puts him down with a 2^nd rope flying bulldog for two! Yoko shrugs him off with a superkick, however, and it's back to the nervehold. Another avalanche misses, and Hart goes back to the well with a second 2^nd rope flying bulldog for two, and this time is able to follow-up with a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop for two. 2^nd rope flying clothesline and a hangman's clothesline put the challenger down, but Yokozuna powers out of a ten-punch count. He tries a turnbuckle smash into an exposed buckle (torn off when Yoko was escaping the ten-punch), but Bret reverses, and that knocks the monster silly enough for Hart to apply the Sharpshooter! Unfortunately, Mr. Fuji is ready with a handful of salt, and we have a new champion at 8:56 - Yokozuna winning the title undefeated. Actually a decent little match. Not a forgotten classic, or anything, but watchable, and didn't overstay its welcome. * ½ (Original rating: *)

WWF Title Match: Yokozuna v Hulk Hogan: Of course, Hulk Hogan then runs out immediately after the bell to protest the injustice, and Fuji offers him a shot at the title on the spot. Bret says 'go,' so Hulk slides in, but gets trampled by Yoko, and Fuji pulls out the salt again - only to accidentally hit the new champion this time, and allow Hulk to hit a clothesline, then a Legdrop for the title at 0:23! Again, we can endlessly debate the decision with the benefit of hindsight, but I can't fault them for trying this from a business perspective. DUD (Original rating: DUD)

BUExperience: Look, say what you will about this show. It doesn’t have any standout great matches like the previous few WrestleMania’s; the ending sucks; it’s got bad finishes up and down the card – you wouldn’t be wrong on any front. But, I dunno, I’d still prefer to watch this than sit through the slogs that are WrestleMania’s IV or V again, or the glorified house show that is the original ‘Mania, or the totally inconsequential XI. It may not have been a great show, and it may have been something of a letdown, but at least it was memorable, and a least it felt lively throughout – which is certainly a lot more than you could say for some of the more recent ones.  

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