WCW Uncensored 1995 (Version II)

Original Airdate: March 19, 1995

From Tupelo, Mississippi; Your Hosts are Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan

Opening King of the Road Match: Blacktop Bully v Dustin Rhodes: A 'King of the Road' match is one of the more inspired (if completely and totally flawed) match ideas ever to come out of wrestling. The idea is that both men battle on an 18-wheel truck, inside a caged off flatbed... while the truck drives on the road. The winner is the first man to climb to the top of the cell, and sound a horn signifying that he's 'king of the road.' It was promoted as taking place 'live,' though that would take it from just innocently insane to possibly criminal - so it was actually shot in advance. Rhodes goes right for the horn, but Bully blasts him with a low blow to cut that off, and he rams him into the part of the truck. Bully jumps him (well, slowly stumbles over to him), and throws him around into the cage, with bales of hay cushioning their falls. The editing becomes obvious when Rhodes goes from one end of the truck to the other, as if by magic. Not to mention that the lighting keeps changing from mid-day to dusk, repeatedly. He actually has the balls to bust out a piledriver, and then does something more reasonable - hitting him with the hay. Hey, I'm all for bumps, but I don't want to see a guy break his neck. Bully chokes him with a rope, but Dustin throws a bucket of water at him to slow him down. No! Not cool, refreshing water in an outdoor setting! This is medieval! The truck turns, which sends them both predictably flying, and Dustin pulls off a side suplex. Bully nearly makes the horn, but the motion of the truck screws him over. Rhodes tries for the bell, so Bully tears his shirt off, and chokes him with it, as both guys bleed. The highlight for me is when the truck hits traffic, and a school bus presumably full of incredibly confused kids passes by. They make the brilliant decision to climb onto the roof of a moving truck, and not surprisingly fall off (though, thankfully, into the truck), and Bully rings the bell at 13:11. Well, that was certainly... unique. This was more like a bad action movie sequence than anything resembling a wrestling match, but it was certainly... something...? And as a 'thank you' for risking their lives to get over WCWs ridiculous booking ideas, both guys actually ended up getting released as punishment for bleeding here. Hey, if WCW was really so morally offended, they could have just as easily chosen not to air the match. Or cut around it, considering it was all pre-taped, and they were filmed from multiple camera angles throughout. Heck, they pretty much did that anyway. The first time through, I didn't have the heart to go into negative stars on this thing, because it wasn't really wrestling, and both guys worked hard. I have no such qualms this time through. This just went on, and on, and on. Still better than the House of Horrors match, though. -*** ¾ (Original rating: DUD)

Martial Arts Match: Meng v Jim Duggan: Sonny Onoo acts as the special guest referee for this one, in his WCW debut. Duggan comes across like a real asshole, refusing to bow, and generally disrespecting the referee. Meng kicks him down right away for two, so Duggan starts slugging away. He takes off his boot and beats on Meng with it, but gets grounded in a nervehold to stop that effort. Jim takes off his other boot, but Meng ducks him in the corner, and grabs a choke. This is, like, a minute in, and it's already terrible. Meng with kicks, but Duggan no-sells, and rips his shirt off. Meng responds with another nervehold, but Jim escapes, and throws a couple of shoulderblocks before getting put down again. Onoo tries to breakup a choke from Meng, which allows Duggan a sneak attack, but Meng shrugs it off, and chokes him again anyway. Onoo, likely about as bored with this as I am, doesn't even bother stepping in this time. Another nervehold, which Duggan barely sells, but they still do the arm drop routine, and he makes a comeback. You know, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I can teach a veteran like Jim Duggan anything about his craft, but maybe - just maybe - consider looking like you're even mildly discomforted when in the hold? Just think about it for next time. Actually, scratch that. Please don't make a return to the ring, Hacksaw. Anyway, Duggan hits the 3-point stance, but Meng no-sells, as Colonel Robert Parker gets involved. Jim deals with him, but that allows Meng to sneak up with a superkick, and goodnight at 7:04. Other than the bowing at the beginning, and the referee in gi, I have no idea what this had to do with martial arts. -*** (Original rating: -****)

Wrestler v Boxer Match: Arn Anderson v Johnny B. Badd: Arn is the WCW Television champion here, but this is non-title. The idea is that Arn is dressed in his usual gear, but Badd has boxing gloves on, and the action takes place in the form of three minute rounds.
ROUND ONE: Arn tries to hook him in the early going, but Johnny sticks and moves. Badd corners Arn for some shots until Anderson bails, and he takes a minute to regroup on the outside. Back in, Arn tries to use kicks to keep Johnny back, but walks into a jab, and is taken off of his feet. He beats the count up, so Johnny unloads in the corner, but eats a knee. Arn tries to cover up, but Badd keeps firing shot after shot off, and Anderson is saved by the bell.
ROUND TWO: Badd tries to corner him as the round starts, but Arn manages to turn the tables. He gets a few quick licks in, but goes down following a flurry of lefts and rights. Anderson beats the count, so Johnny peppers him with shots in the corner - only to set himself up for a takedown. Arn tries to follow-up with an elbowdrop, but Johnny dodges, and more punches put Anderson down again. Okay, this was cute for a minute, but now it's really getting repetitive, and dragging. Badd keeps pounding in the corner, with Arn failing to return fire until he's saved by the bell again. Unfortunately for Johnny, Anderson attacks from behind right a high knee at the bell, and he drops Badd with a DDT.
ROUND THREE: Following the cheap shot at the end of the last round, Anderson is able to take control, and he tosses Badd over the top rope to the outside. Colonel Robert Parker gets a few licks in out there, and back in, Arn hits a bodyslam to set up a kneedrop. Arn works him over with basic stuff (Badd's gloved hands limit what they can really do), and the rotating spinebuster connects, but Johnny's corner man (Roc Finnegan) attacks Arn. He tries to call for a break right then and there, but the round isn't over, and the referee boots him. Arn with a chincrusher, and he tosses Johnny back to the outside as the round expires.
ROUND FOUR: Roc cuts off Johnny's left glove as the round starts, but Arn doesn't notice, and attacks with a bodyslam. He gets distracted by Roc, however, and ends up with a spit bucket over his head - Johnny hitting him with a big knockout punch at 9:28. Managed to be entertaining, in its own weird way. Don't get me wrong, as a match, it was still shit. But, it wasn't offensively bad. Which, for this show thus far, is practically a glowing review. ¼* (Original rating: -*** ½)

No Holds Barred Match: Randy Savage v Avalanche: Savage attacks him before the bell, and unloads in the corner, but trying to match power with the big man ends badly. Avalanche ends up going over the top after missing a charge, so Savage dives after him with a flying bodypress, and he rams the big man into the post and steps. Back in for a bodyslam, but Avalanche topples him for two, and hits an elbowdrop, followed by a legdrop for two. Avalanche with a belly-to-belly suplex and a fucking DROPKICK for two. I guess he figured, considering how utterly terrible the card has been tonight, this was his time to shine. Bodyslam sets up another elbowdrop, but that Randy can't abide, and he rolls out of the way. Avalanche dumps him to the outside before Macho can follow-up, however, and Randy takes a trip into the post. Avalanche keeps blocking Savage from climbing back in, but it backfires when Macho snaps his throat across the top rope, and a flying axehandle is worth two. Macho with a pair of clotheslines, but a sunset flip is countered with a sit-down splash, and a regular splash follows for two. Scoop powerslam sets up the Avalanche Splash, but Randy moves out of position during the set up phase. Avalanche punishes him in the corner, but gets popped with a backelbow, and Macho schoolboys him for two. Flying axehandle, but Avalanche catches him, and hits another scoop powerslam. He goes up to the middle rope for a flying splash, but Randy rolls out of the way. He heads up to finish, but Avalanche bails to the outside before Macho can dive for the elbow, so Randy hits him with a flying axehandle out there instead. He keeps attacking, when suddenly some lady runs in, attacking Savage on the outside. Avalanche and the lady take Macho inside for a beating, and she's revealed to be Ric Flair in drag. That summons Hulk Hogan to run in for the save, and the referee disqualifies Avalanche at 11:30. Literally MOMENTS are the announcers just assured us that the match would continue, since there are supposedly no rules tonight. Maybe Lionel Hutz was booking? No. Holds barred. The finish was a joke, but this was actually fairly decent for the most part. I mean, Avalanche threw a DROPKICK, guys! Even with the dumb finish, this is the match of the night thus far, at a whopping ½* (Original rating: -½*)

No Holds Barred Match: Sting v Big Bubba Rogers: Sting dominates him to start, and a dropkick sends Bubba to the outside. Sting taunts him by messing up his hat (with Bubba stupidly selling it like Sting is beating on his newborn baby, or something), and Sting hits an elbowdrop. Sting with a corner whip, and a turnbuckle smash rattles Bubba enough for the Stinger to dump him to the outside again. They aren't clicking here. Rogers sweeps him from the floor this time, and tries to ram him into the post, but Sting pulls his legs back to send Bubba into it. That looked horrible, as Rogers barely had a grip on Sting's legs at all, and it was very obvious that he pulled himself into the post. I mean, I suppose they might have convinced the people in the cheapest seats, maybe. Just trying to find a bright side here. Sting continues to dominate, but ends up hurting his leg while attempting a leapfrog, and Bubba takes over. Rogers with a leglock, and a straddling ropechoke follows. Piledriver, but Sting uses a backdrop to escape, so Bubba goes after the leg again. He grapevines the Stinger, as Tony does a good job of getting the damage over by noting Sting's knee injuries from the early 90s. Not that it's helping this shitty action, but I appreciate the effort. Bubba with a bodyslam, and he goes up, but ends up slipping and falling off the top rope - in what looked like a botch. Sting goes up himself, and hits a flying tomahawk chop, and a bodyslam follows, but the leg acts up. That slows Sting down, but he still manages to get a sleeper on, so Rogers pulls off his tie, and uses it to choke his way out. Sting responds with a nice German suplex, however, and a flying splash gets two. Bubba keeps coming, so Sting throws a big punch to knock him silly - only for Rogers to crash into Sting's leg while collapsing. He misses a charge, allowing Sting a bodyslam, but the knee gives out, and Bubba topples him for three at 13:45. Duller than dishwater, but at least it actually adhered to the stipulations. Not that they actually took ADVANTAGE of the no rules gimmick, but baby steps. ½* (Original rating: ½*)

Texas Tornado Match: Harlem Heat v The Nasty Boys: The Heat are the WCW World Tag Team champions here, but this is non-title. The Heat run in from the crowd to sneak attack the challengers, and the brawl is on! The Heat dominate, and they dump Jerry Sags to the outside so that they can isolate Brian Knobbs with a spike piledriver. The action spills to the outside, where both teams use weapons, and they brawl up the aisle. They end up at a concession stand (the kind set up behind barricades where fans can't go), and they do a food fight there, with Sister Sherri openly interfering. Unintentionally funny bit, as Knobbs comes over swinging a weapon, but slips in a mustard spill, and falls on his ass. I remember thinking this was really crazy when I saw it live in 1995, but it is not holding up at all. I also hadn't yet seen the Nasties' much better brawls from the spring of 1994 at that point. Sherri takes a pretty brutal looking bump after slipping in the mess as well, ouch! Anyway, the weak brawling drags on and on way past its bedtime, until the Knobbs manages to slam Booker T for the pin at 8:37. Four months into this awful feud, and not a single decent match yet produced. DUD (Original rating: ¼*)

Main Event: Strap Match: Hulk Hogan v Vader: Hogan is the WCW World champion and Vader is the WCW United States champion, but neither belt is on the line. I suppose if this hits a full five-stars, it might have a small hope of saving this show. Vader has Ric Flair with him, and they take out the referee before the bell even sounds. They corner Hogan, but all of a sudden some Ultimate Warrior rip-off music starts playing, and Renegade (in his WCW debut, as Hogan's hyped 'ultimate surprise') runs in to chase Flair off. The crowd pops for that one, totally buying him as Warrior for the first few seconds. With Renegade chasing Flair up the aisle, Hulk starts brawling with Vader on the outside, and pounds him down against the side of the ring. He chokes Vader with the strap, then takes him inside for more choking in the corner. He starts whipping Vader with the strap, so Flair tries running in again, but gets whipped himself, and Renegade chases him around again. With all the ex-WWF guys coming in during this period, I can see why the crowd would buy that Warrior was next, and I can totally understand why the promotion would try to recreate the Warrior formula, but couldn't they at least find someone more convincing than Renegade? Vader gets control and hits the Vaderbomb, as I realize that we still haven't seen the referee since before the bell. Is he supposed to still be out, or did he just give up and go home? Eh, no one else seems to care, so why should I, I suppose. Vader with a mat-based headscissors, and he does some whipping, when suddenly Jimmy Hart (Hulk's missing manager, who disappeared earlier in the show) runs out to stand at ringside. That development fell completely flat. The 'action' spill to the outside, where Vader gets a chair, but he gets distracted by Hart, and Hulk gets the weapon. He delivers some of the weakest shots imaginable (and on the floor too, with the fans mere inches away), then uses the strap again to pull Vader into the post a few times. Meanwhile, Flair continues to get chased around by Warr... I mean, Renegade. Hulk goes to town with the strap, as Bobby makes a very non-PC remark about how Hogan is "whipping Vader like he owns him." Hulk casually bodyslams Vader on the floor, and starts to drag him to corners on the outside, but gets sent into the rail before he can make it all the way around. I still don't see a referee, by the way. Inside, Vader hits a chokeslam and a splash, then uses the strap some. Vertical suplex, but Hulk pops up, and hits a big boot. Legdrop follows, and he starts to drag Vader to the corners. Still no referee, but a masked man runs out, and takes out Renegade with a chair. That allows Flair to hit a distracted Hogan with another chair, and with Renegade down, Ric is able to double team Hulk. Vader goes up to the middle rope for a splash, but Hulk uses the strap to pull him off, and they end up becoming detached. Ric keeps after Hogan with another chair shot, but Hulk no-sells, and whips Ric with the leather. Big boot on Flair, and Hulk decides to hook Ric up to the strap - dragging HIM to all four corners for the win (?) at 18:21. Yep, he dragged a man who isn't even in the match to the corners for the win. But, I mean, there's not even a referee out there, so who's to say. Afterwards, Vader and Flair attack, as Renegade (now fully recovered) just stands around on the floor looking useless. He doesn't come in until after Hulk singlehandedly cleans house, but uh-oh, here comes the masked man again. Oh, but it's actually Randy Savage under the mask, and he helps the babyfaces, as Arn Anderson is revealed to be the original masked man from earlier. There's also a kid in the crowd who I'm pretty sure is taking a massive shit during all of this. This is too much... what a terrible main event. Overbooked to death, weak action, and a ridiculous finish on top of it all. In short, exactly the main event this show deserves. -** (Original rating: -*)

BUExperience: This didn’t just lower the bar, it buried it six feet underground. I don’t do negative-star final thoughts, but if there was ever a show I would make an exception for, this is it.

DUD