Monday, April 2, 2018

WWF Monday Night RAW (February 19, 1996)


Original Airdate: February 19, 1996

From Cincinnati, Ohio; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Sunny opens the hour by giving everyone an erection. Everyone. Even the gays

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Goldust v Razor Ramon: Speaking of which. Marlena tries to distract Razor so Goldust can sneak attack, but the champion isn't quick enough, and gets destroyed. Ramon clotheslines him over the top so Goldust can go regroup by fondling Marlena's ass, but despite that great motivator, Razor still dominates him with a knucklelock when the champion heads back inside. But maybe Goldust likes being dominated? Razor's Edge, but Goldust backdrops him over the top to block, then knocks him off the apron with a hip attack from Ramon tries to climb back in. Goldust with a sleeper, but Razor reverses, so Goldust drops down with a stunner to escape. Goldust goes up, but gets crotched on the top turnbuckle, and Razor vertical superplexes him down. He follows up with a wild fallaway slam over the top rope, which may be the only time I've ever seen him do that. It's neat. He then dives off the apron with a flying clothesline, before taking Goldust back in for a side superplex. The champion bails before Razor can finish, however, and Ramon wins by countout at 8:28. This had its moments. Afterwards, Razor grabs the microphone (getting everyone's attention with a "hey, yo"), and cuts a promo on Goldust, noting that he doesn't even care about the belt, he just wants to kick his ass. See, Razor's from the streets, and he doesn't want his kids watching people like Goldust. He makes a plea to President Roddy Piper for a 'date' with Goldust, which was supposed to lead to what became the Hollywood Backlot Brawl for WrestleMania (back when it was going to be called the 'Miami Alley Fight'), before Ramon was removed from the card. Good segment here, as Razor's anger at Goldust represented what a lot of the fan base was feeling at the time, and came across as legitimate and intense, and not cartoony like a lot of WWF angles from this period tended to. *

Backstage, Undertaker steps out of his casket

And speaking of Undertaker, you can buy his sweatshirt for only $29.95 from the WWF Store! Casket not included, though you might end up in one if you wear it to school. Two years later, everyone was walking the hallways in Austin 3:16 and nWo shirts, but man, wrestling fandom was ice cold at this point, and loving it in the open (which I admittedly did) was a bold choice

Dok Hendrix is hanging out with the house band (how has that gimmick not gotten cut for budgetary reasons yet?) while he recaps last night's In Your House, as well as announces Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels for the WWF Title at WrestleMania XII, along with Diesel/Undertaker

Aldo Montoya and Barry Horowitz are in the ring waiting to get squashed by the Bodydonnas, but Vader shows up to do it first. Hey, you snooze, you lose

Ultimate Warrior vignette. I was super excited to hear he was coming back at the time, but even to a kid, it felt like he was a relic of a bygone era by early 1996. Which is weird, considering he'd only been gone a little over three years at that point, but the promotion had evolved significantly since then. Compare that to today's product, where you'd need a date stamp to even realize what you're watching is from three years back, and not live

Sunny continues to inspire boners everywhere with her Marilyn Monroe impression, in honor of President's Day

Speaking of the presidency, Bob Backlund is out in the crowd, campaigning

Ringmaster v Marty Jannetty: It's a wonder how much of a difference even that tiny bit of hair made to Austin's look. Who'd ever have thought that shaving off that little bit of peach fuzz would make all the difference in the world? Feeling out process to start, with Ringmaster dominating him. Marty uses his speed to slide through Ringmaster's legs, and hits a dropkick for two, but Ringmaster cuts that off with a stungun. Jannetty dodges a straddling ropechoke and covers him for two, but a splash hits the knees, and Ringmaster corner whips him. Ringmaster grounds Jannetty in an STF, and you've gotta love dudes who work their ass off to get their signs on camera, but forget to write it in dark enough ink that their masterpiece can actually be seen by anyone more than two feet away. It’s something about WCW, but apparently it wasn't very flattering to the WWF, because security confiscates it. Jannetty makes a comeback, hitting a jumping backelbow, followed by a kneelift for two. Side suplex, but Ringmaster counters to the Million Dollar Dream at 8:16, as security continues to harass that poor kid with the illegible WCW sign. This was pretty disappointing. It started off well enough, but got boring real quick. I mean, when I’ve got time to try and make out faintly legible signs in the crowd, you know the action in the ring ain’t exactly great. ½*

Mankind vignette. An extended one this week, with Mankind rocking back and forth in the shadows, raging at God for making him deformed, and society for not accepting him. This was extremely dark stuff, and instantly made Mankind seem a lot more intriguing than other gimmicky characters introduced around this period, like Mantaur, or whatever

Cast your ballots for the Slammy Awards now! Why are those shows not on the Network?

Next week, WWF Champion Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, face-to-face!

Undertaker v Tatanka: Tatanka tries a sneak attack, but that goes badly for him, and he ends up getting choked in the corner. Undertaker with a matslam, but he runs into a Samoan drop during a criss cross, as Diesel makes his way down the aisle, carrying an axe. He grabs a cameraman from ringside, and drags him to the backstage area, as Tatanka works 'Taker over. As Tatanka works a headlock, Diesel arrives backstage, positioning the cameraman to get a good look at Big Daddy Cool chopping up Undertaker's casket with his axe. Meanwhile, the oblivious 'Taker starts making a comeback, but Tatanka counters the Tombstone with a piledriver. Diesel is still going to town on that casket as Undertaker fights Tatanka off again, and hits the Tombstone at 7:13. After the bell, Undertaker sees what Diesel is up to on the video wall, and marches to the back to go after him. The match was just background for the angle, and there's nothing wrong with that on TV. I liked that Diesel actually had to come down and commandeer the camera guy too, instead of guys just magically having a camera on them whenever they're doing anything backstage, as became common during the Attitude Era. DUD

Hey, it's time for Billionaire Ted! This week, Ted goes on Larry Fling Live. The potshots start right away, as Fling takes the time to say hello to all of the women in his life, and Ted makes sure to note that not only does he own 'just about everything,' but that he owns Larry too. First caller is Randy from Sarasota, who complains of a thinning hair problem, but gets called a moron. Next, Terry from Tampa (who Ted recognizes as the Huckster) complaining that he's been hit with a woman's shoe, with Ted calling footwear a public nuisance. Next, Jane from Hanoi calls to tell Ted his suits are ready to pick up at Sears. Of all the people who can take shots at someone else’s fashion sense, Vince McMahon is about the last one you'd think of. This all leads to Fling questioning Ted about alleged monopolistic activities and predatory practices, as well as accusing Ted of cooking the books for his wrasslin' promotion, but suddenly Ted has laryngitis, and can't answer any more questions. This was really mean-spirited and hypocritical, but worst of all, it just wasn't funny

Backstage, a fuming Undertaker comes upon the remains of his casket

BUExperience: While there was still a lot of cartoony stuff all over the place, some much more adult themes were increasingly starting to creep in, with sex, realism, and dark angles. This wasn’t a very good episode, but you can feel the ship starting to change course towards more interesting waters.

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

2/19/96

Show
RAW
Nitro
Rating
3.1
2.9
Total Wins
10
10
Win Streak
1

Better Show (as of 2/12)
4
14



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