WWF Monday Night RAW (June 3, 1996)

Original Airdate: June 3, 1996 (taped May 27)  

From Fayetteville, North Carolina; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Steve Austin v Bob Holly: Feeling out process to start, pretty evenly matched on the mat. Austin tries a turnbuckle smash, but Holly reverses, so Austin tries chops in the corner, but Holly turns the tables on that as well. Bob takes Steve down for a chinlock, but Austin manages to escape with a backelbow, and he hits a pair of pointed elbowdrops. Steve with a backbreaker, and a snapmare sets up a kneedrop, followed by a 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop for two. Holly tries fighting back, so Austin dumps him to the outside, and dives off the apron with an axehandle. He snaps Bob's throat across the top rope on the way back in, and another snapmare sets up a chinlock, as Lawler notes that Austin is "sweating like he works for Kathy Lee Gifford." Steve goes up, but Bob manages to crotch him on the top, and starts mounting a comeback. Backelbow gets two, but Austin fights off a ten-punch count, and the Million Dollar Dream finishes at 10:12. On the dull side, but not a bad match. Austin could really use a new finisher, though. *

Mankind v Barry Horowitz: Jim Ross pops up to announce that Mankind will face Undertaker at King of the Ring during the entrances for this. Barry charges at the bell, but gets dropped. Horowitz doesn't back down, and keeps coming at Mankind with a dropkick and a chincrusher, but gets pounded down into the corner. Mankind tries a charge, but Barry dodges and tries a schoolboy, but Mankind won't even go down with it. Back to full job duty for Barry, I see. He was never going to be a main eventer, but he could have been an interesting lower midcard guy if they didn't give up on him so quickly. All my friends and I definitely got into him in the summer/fall '95. Anyway, Mankind hangs him in a tree of woe for some abuse, and works him over with little trouble, before finishing with the Mandible Claw at 3:54. Just a squash. Afterwards, Jim Ross comes out to try and get Mankind's thoughts on his signed match with Undertaker for King of the Ring, giving Mick Foley a chance to really shine with this creepy character for a few minutes. DUD

Despite only showing still images last week, the finish of the WWF Title match at In Your House was so EXTRAORDINARY that they just HAVE TO show it to us in video form! I like how Vince is acting like he invented the double-pin. I mean, they weren't as common in WWF land as in, say, WCW, but acting like it was a revolutionary and never before seen situation is silly and insulting

Last week, Goldust straight-up sexually assaulted Ahmed Johnson, and the thrill so excited him that he's lounging around naked tonight (wearing only the Intercontinental title belt to cover himself), and suggestively eating chocolate bars to extend the high. Of everything we've seen from Goldust thus far (and we've seen a lot), this was the most creepy to date

The Godwinns v Tekno Team 2000: Sunny does guest commentary for this one, with Vince pretty much outright calling her a whore because she keeps bouncing from team to team. The Bodydonnas then chime in from the dressing rooms, noting that they'll be looking for a new manager, and putting a mailing address up on the screen for people to send in applications. Even as a super mark eleven year old, I didn't bother with this contest. I don't remember my exact train of thought, but I probably figured that, though I'd love to be a part of wrestling in almost any way, direct involvement with the Bodydonnas was not one of those ways. Sunny pretends not to care, but she seems pretty jealous, especially while talking about all the other women in the promotion. "We have Marlena, we have Sable, we have whatever Hunter Hearst Helmsley's chick of the evening is called." Anyway, there's apparently match going on, though no one really notices, as the camera keeps cutting to the antics over at the commentary table. Up next, Vince objects over Lawler putting his hands all over Sunny, but she doesn't mind. Vince was always amazingly unintentionally entertaining whenever Sunny would stop by the commentary booth. The white knighting, the dancing, the flirting - it was all so fantastically good. Sorry, I forgot there's a match going on again. Not that there seems to be much going on in the ring anyway, as it's just an extending feeling out process. Team 2000 isolate and go to work on Phineas Godwinn, but he fights off a double team, and Henry Godwinn gets the tag. He comes in hot, and the Slop Drop finishes at 6:12. I paid about as much attention to this as the announce and camera teams did. ½*

Clarence Mason (now in a neck brace and on crutches) is filing suit against President Gorilla Monsoon for assault, as when he was escorting Mason and Diana Hart-Smith out of the arena a few weeks ago, he gently put his hand on Mason's back

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v Jake Roberts: Feeling out process to start, with Jake going for the DDT early, but Hunter evading him a few times, and bailing. Listening to Vince make fun of Hunter's appearance while Lawler flirts with the valet of the week ('Ginny,' in case Sunny was still wondering) on commentary is especially funny considering who he ended up married to. Jake works the arm for a while, as Vince clarifies that Razor Ramon and Diesel are no longer a part of the WWF, and are actually under contract "to a rival organization." I always found it funny that Vince would never say 'WCW,' like he was afraid if he uttered the name, it would come to life and eat him. Jake keeps trying for the DDT over and over again, but Hunter keeps blocking and bailing, before finally taking control in the corner. He uses a snapmare to set up a kneedrop for two, as Jake's massive gut spills out everywhere. Perhaps Vince should be less concerned with Helmsley's "protruding proboscis" and more concerned with Jake's protruding stomach. HHH with an elbowdrop for two, as he continues to work Jake over in slow, dull fashion. Roberts starts firing back with jabs, but Helmsley ducks the short-clothesline, and puts the boots to the Snake to keep control. Chinlock, but Jake uses a stunner to escape, and mounts a successful comeback this time. DDT looks to finish, but Helmsley railroads him into the corner to block, and uses a cross corner whip to set up a backelbow for two. He keeps coming, but Roberts lands the DDT to advance at 10:33. Really boring. Afterwards, Jake wants to stuff the snake down Hunter's pants, but luckily the referee steps in before we accidentally start the Attitude Era a couple of years too early. DUD

BUExperience: Another stinker this week, as the WWF continues to flail in the wake of the Bret Hart/Diesel/Razor Ramon/1-2-3 Kid departures. Really nothing worthwhile in this whole hour, both in the ring and out.

Monday Night Wars Rating Chart

	6/3/96
Show	RAW	Nitro
Rating	2.3	3.0
Total Wins	16	17
Win Streak		3
Better Show (as of 5/27)	8	23