WWF Survivor Series Showdown (November 21, 1993)

Original Airdate: November 21, 1993 (taped November 8 – 10)

From Bushkill, Pennsylvania and Delhi, New York; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, and Gorilla Monsoon

Earlier this weekend on Superstars, Bret Hart was wrestling Irwin R. Schyster, when Mr. Fuji showed up at ringside. He got into it with Hart, drawing Yokozuna out for a DQ, and leading to Owen Hart running in to help even the score for brother Bret

Doink the Clown v Bastion Booger: From the Bushkill taping on November 8. Booger tries to steal Doink's scooter before the match, but falls flat on his ass in the process. So hilarious. Sorry, I just remembered that sarcasm is hard to detect in writing. I actually did not think it was hilarious, to clarify. Doink then messes with him by using an elastic arm during the handshake, and he trips an angry Booger up a few times, until poor Bastion bails. I've seen a lot of characters over the years, but there is perhaps none I dislike as much as Booger. He's just so repulsive. Doink follows to the outside, but it backfires when Booger avalanches him against the post, and Booger hits a backelbow on the way back in. He does his little dance in celebration, and works a reverse chinlock. He looks like he's getting winded just holding that one. Booger dumps Doink to the outside, but the clown beats the count in, so Bastion unloads in the corner. Legdrop connects, followed by some ropechokes, as I struggle to grasp why the hell this was considered worthy of this TV special. Doink fights back, so Booger goes to the eyes to quell the clown rebellion, and hits a clothesline for two. Unfortunately, Booger thought it was a three, and prematurely celebrates - allowing Doink to schoolboy him at 7:34. Wow, this was legitimately terrible. Afterwards, Doink puts some hot sauce on Booger's pizza as a prank, though I'm not exactly sure what the joke is there. I know lots of people who do that voluntarily. -**

Three weeks ago on Superstars, Ludvig Borga ended Tatanka's undefeated streak after using a chair on him, followed by a beat down from Yokozuna, until Lex Luger made the save. They should have played this up more when Tatanka turned heel the next year. Like, they barely acknowledged any history between them during that angle. Tatanka just accused him of selling out, Lex denied it, and that was pretty much it. Their history was really limited to begin with (basically this, plus King of the Ring '93), so why not use what you've got?

The All-Americans (Lex Luger, Undertaker, and The Steiner Brothers) are out, and they can feel the rising energy level! Ha! There's probably the four worst guys on the roster to talk about energy levels. Undertaker is a zombie, Rick and Scott look like they'd rather be literally anywhere else, and Luger in any state beyond 'generally alert' is asking a lot

Todd Pettengill pops in with a lesson on how to order pay per view and/or phone sex. Todd is amazed that some people can even order with a push of a button on your remote (or 'channel surfers/surfboards'). Wow, Todd would be blown away by 2018

Last month on Monday Night RAW, Crush turned heel on Randy Savage, in an angle that DID reference their past history, and was generally great

Crush v Virgil: From the Delhi taping on November 10. Crush attacks from behind, and pounds Virgil down right away. Virgil's selling here is goofy as fuck. Virgil manages to win a criss cross with a clothesline, so Crush bails to the outside, but Virgil dives after him with a plancha! Go Virgil! Back in, Virgil tries a rollup, but Crush hooks the ropes to block, and drills him with a superkick to gain control back. Crush works him over in slow, dull fashion, but misses a charge, so Virgil tries a sunset cradle for two. Crush quickly cuts him off, and keeps him down with a bootchoke. This thing needs to end. Another corner charge ends badly, this time allowing Virgil a 2^nd rope clothesline, and he starts making a comeback! Thank God, that probably means we're almost done with this. He dives off the apron, but Crush catches him with a ram into the apron, and he takes Virgil back in for a suplex - only for Virgil to counter with a cradle for two! Crush responds with some chops, but Virgil ducks one, and goes to the Million Dollar Dream. Crush easily blocks, however, and he press-drops Virgil across the top rope before finishing with the Kona Clutch at 7:58 - which was about five minutes longer than this needed to be. Virgil looked like he was trying here, but Crush was sleepwalking through this thing. ¼*

Last weekend on Superstars, WWF Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon retained his title in a rematch with Rick Martel, following a botched attempt at interference by Harvey Wippleman. That led to Martel going after Harvey, but getting cut off by Adam Bomb, and there's dissention in the ranks of this Survivor Series team. Diesel and IRS trying to cool everyone down is a really funny visual to me, though I'm not sure why

Reo Rogers hosts Reo's Roundup, with special guest Shawn Michaels. They're on location in 'Calgary, Alberta, Canada,' where they show up at 'Hart House' in the middle of the night. Inside, they find 'Stu and Helen Hart' (guys in Halloween masks), and mock them. This was like a bit off of the Eric Andre Show, twenty five years ahead of schedule. This wasn't 'good,' but it was certainly something different

Marty Jannetty v Irwin R. Schyster: From Bushkill. The crowd is pretty hot for Marty here. They measure each other for a while to start, until Marty manages to send IRS to the outside with a dropkick, and Schyster stalls. Back in, Marty works a wristlock, but IRS barrels into him with a shoulderblock, so Jannetty uses a drop-toehold into an armbar to keep control. IRS escapes and bails for more stalling, and back in, Jannetty works a headlock. IRS counters to a headscissors, but Marty counters back to a hammerlock, so Irwin hides out in the ropes. This feels like they're building the foundation of a very long match, but this whole special is one two hours long (with commercials), so you know it isn't going there. Irwin dumps him to the outside, and he sends Marty into the steps out there to snag control of the contest. Jannetty beats the count in, so IRS tries a suplex, but Marty counters with a schoolboy for two. Irwin fires back with a backelbow to set up an elbowdrop for two, and it's chinlock time. Marty escapes with a turnbuckle smash, so Schyster goes low to fight him off, and it's on to the abdominal stretch. Marty uses a hiptoss to escape, but IRS dodges an elbowdrop, and pounds him into the corner. Cross corner whip hits, but a charge doesn't, and Jannetty manages his own cross corner whip to get a comeback going! Kneelift gets two, and a sunset flip is worth two. IRS returns fire with a snap suplex for two, but Marty uses a jumping backelbow for two. That leads to a criss cross, and IRS hits the Write-Off at 12:34. Felt like a middle of the card house show effort. ½* (Original rating: ¼*)

The Foreign Fanatics (WWF Champion Yokozuna, WWF Tag Team Champion Jacques, Crush, and Ludvig Borga) join us to respond to the All-Americans from earlier, and holy shit, Ludvig actually manages to stand side-by-side with Johnny Polo without burning a cross

Survivor Series Report! Even Todd is telling us that this show is getting pretty fucked up with all the substitutions. And he even openly warns us that, yeah, there'll probably be even more substitutions before show time. Which there were. Also, what the fuck is up with Marty Jannetty in that little graphic they use for him? He looks like he just woke up, still hung-over from the night before

WWF Title Match: Yokozuna v Bret Hart: From Delhi. Bret attacks while Yokozuna is chatting with Mr. Fuji, but an attempt at a bodypress goes badly when Yoko catches him in a bodyslam. Elbowdrop misses, however, allowing Hart to dropkick the champ the outside, where Yokozuna runs himself into the post while staggering. Bret taunts him by leading the crowd in a 'USA' chant - which would be an odd sight a few years later. And, honestly, in 1993 as well, considering that he's Canadian. Back in, Hart unloads with rights, and tries a sleeper, but Yokozuna drops him with a snapmare. He's dazed, allowing Bret to pop back up and keep chopping at the big tree with rights, but the champ swats him down. Bret was always great when he was tenaciously pursuing a task. Yokozuna with a turnbuckle smash, and he's sucking wind pretty dramatically already. Yokozuna dumps Bret to the outside for Fuji to whack with the flagpole, as the announcers try to spin a story to make Shawn Michaels' substitution for Jerry Lawler make sense in the context of the feud. See, Bret beat him at Survivor Series last year, so now Shawn wants revenge on not just Bret, but the entire Hart Family! So, it's still a family feud match, just like before! Yokozuna works a nervehold, but Hart fights free, so the champ dumps him to the outside. He follows, but Bret sends him into the steps out there, so Yokozuna grabs a chair, and lays him out. Hart beats the count in, so Yokozuna goes to work in the corner, but Bret returns fire. He tries a dropkick to knock the big man down, but Yokozuna dodges, and crushes the Hitman with a legdrop. Avalanche, but Hart sidesteps, and a series of clotheslines finally put Yokozuna down for two. Hart keeps coming with a dive off the middle rope, but Yokozuna catches him, so Bret starts biting his face to avoid getting slammed! Bret dives off the middle again with a bulldog for two, and the crowd is totally buying into the Hitman's chances here. 2^nd rope pointed elbowdrop gets two, but Bret messes up his knee on the landing, and gets caught in a belly-to-belly suplex by the time he recovers enough to try a charge. Yokozuna tries a splash to finish, but Hart rolls out of the way, and he slaps on a rough version of the Sharpshooter! That looks awkward as fuck. That brings Owen Hart out to celebrate the win, which distracts the referee (in reality, Owen was brawling with Lawler on the outside, but Jerry was cut from the show - though you can see Hart stomping him in the background if you look carefully), and Fuji is able to capitalize by whacking Bret with the salt bucket. The referee doesn't see it, but he does see Owen coming in to go after Yokozuna in response, and Bret is disqualified at 17:46. Yokozuna looked badly winded throughout most of this, but Bret was trying hard to get something out of him here. ¾* (Original rating: ½*)

We wrap with a rap, as Oscar and Men on a Mission rap about Survivor Series, and a bunch of suburban white kids lose their minds

BUExperience: The wrestling is absolutely awful from top to bottom, but these things are like a big warm blanket for the kid in me. I hope the Network adds more of these