WWF Mania (February 6, 1993)

Original Airdate: February 6, 1993

 

Your Host is Todd Pettengill. Todd promises that Giant Gonzalez is in the house, which is somehow supposed to get us to want to watch the show. Giant then shows up, and he's doing that goofy over the top laugh, and breathing like he's fucking Carmella Soprano as we watch clips of his attack on Undertaker at the Royal Rumble. How did they fuck this guy up so badly? He's a monster! It's right in their wheelhouse! Luckily, Giant feels hungry, but Todd won't share is ICOPRO bar, so he storms off

 

The Headshrinkers v Reno Riggins and Bobby Perez: From the January 30 episode of Superstars (taped January 5) in San Antonio Texas. Afa is full on munching on a raw fish this week, in one of the nastiest things I've seen in a while. Lawler gets a jump on his summer program here, noting that he doesn't care for Bret Hart, and that he'd beat him if they were ever in the ring together. Too bad they didn't think to book the other color commentator with the Hitman instead. What a missed opportunity that was. The Headshrinkers with the flying splash at 2:09. Samu really made the easy money with that finisher, didn't he? ¼*

 

Back in the studio, Todd is still working on trying to put away that ICOPRO bar. I should note that, at no point, do we ever see him take an actual bite. Probably for the best, pretty sure USA wouldn't have been thrilled about vomit on Saturday mornings. Luckily Papa Shango wasn't getting booked much at this point

 

This past Monday on RAW, Brutus Beefcake announces his return to the ring, and later in the show WWF Tag Team Champions Money Inc offer themselves as his first opponent, even though manager Jimmy Hart thinks it's a waste of time

 

Back in the studio, Todd mocks the USA Network for pre-empting RAW in order to air a dog show this Monday

 

Doink v Typhoon: From Monday Night RAW, February 1 1993 in New York. I love how they specifically introduce him as Doink 'The Clown.' I guess to avoid likely confusion between Doink 'The Ass-Rapist' and Doink 'The Ballet Instructor.' Thank God. Typhoon has a size advantage, so Doink wisely shoots at the leg for a sweep, and takes the big man down into an armbar. He powers up, so Doink sweeps him again, this time into a front-facelock. He tries to tear his arm out of the socket (while making sure to rake the eyes, for fun), but Typhoon powers into the corner to shake him off. Typhoon with a bearhug, but Doink rakes the eyes again, and sweeps him off of his feet. Typhoon starts no-selling, and counters a bodypress with a scoop powerslam - only to miss an avalanche, and take a 2^nd rope shoulderblock for the pin at 3:13. Sure, the character got completely neutered with the face turn, but original Doink is just awesome, awesome stuff, and I loved seeing him terrorize a big guy like Typhoon. Great heel work. ¼*

 

Todd is showing off his half priced Buffalo Bills swag, now that they did the job in yet another Super Bowl

 

Also at the Super Bowl, various WWF Superstars attended a benefit for the Miami Project Foundation. No idea what that is, but I assume they all showed by because they assumed there would be coke. And, indeed, Tatanka is seen sipping on a Coke. I can imagine he was very disappointed when the waiter brought that ice cold motherfucker

 

Speaking of foosball, here's a vignette with Mr. Perfect throwing perfect football passes

 

Back in the studio, Todd also catches a football, and he's feeling so amped up that he says he's going looking for Giant Gonzalez

 

Razor Ramon v Pete Christie: From the January 30 Superstars. Ramon's gear is starting to get more colorful now, and it's a wonderful thing. Crazytights should really do a section on him. Vince wonders how this jobber would hold up in a pose down with Lex Luger, and it's too bad the WBF went belly up before they had the chance to run THAT main event. Meanwhile, some dumbass fan in the front looks ready to jump the rail to attack Ramon, which may be the only time I've ever seen anyone get that worked up over Razor. I mean, he was a great worker/character, but hardly a giant heel heat machine. Razor's Edge finishes at 2:13. DUD

 

Meanwhile, Todd is still riding high on courage after his big football catch, and he's found Gonzalez pigging out in the cafeteria. All by himself. Well, no wonder he was such a jerk. Maybe if somebody had bothered to offer to share their Capri Sun with him, he'd mellow out. Or maybe he's alone because he's eating an entire punch bowl of broccoli. Also possible

 

Tito Santana v Predator: From Wrestling Challenge on January 31 (taped January 4) in Beaumont Texas. Oh, so THAT's who Predator was! I was playing TEW a while back, and couldn't figure out what that masked dude was doing in my 1993 mod. I don't remember him at all. Bobby Heenan thinks it's Pettengill under the mask, as Tito split screens in to hype Headlock on Hunger. Poor guy, hope he at least got to go to that Super Bowl party thing with all the coke. Gorilla Monsoon notes that Tito is looking forward to all the success he'll be having in the 'years to come' in the WWF, which is pretty ridiculous at this stage in his career. But then, Bob Backlund ended up winning another WWF Title in 1994, so you never really know. El Paso finishes at 2:54. No wonder I don't remember Predator, he was horrible, even for an enhancement goof. DUD

 

Back in the cafeteria, Gonzalez continues putting away a fucking massive amount of roughage, so Todd offers him a soda, but gets violently rebuffed. I told ya'll, Capri Sun

 

From the January 30 Superstars, Raymond Rougeau brings Jim Duggan out to talk about how he's proud of his heritage, and proud of his country. Yeah, but does he have a bus? He's all pissed that Yokozuna has the audacity... the gall... the balls... to be Japanese. And have a Japanese manager, to boot! Wait, so the entire basis for their feud is literally 'you're not from America, fuck you' ? Seriously?

 

Todd is still hiding out from Gonzalez elsewhere in the building, but even in his state of terror he can still make vaguely racist gestures to describe Yokozuna

 

This week on All American Wrestling, Bobby Heenan showed up at Caesars Palace to try and make sure he gets a good room for WrestleMania IX

 

WrestleMania IX ad. No wonder the show bombed, who the fuck put Damien Demento in a WrestleMania ad?

 

Lex Luger v Jason Knight: From the February 1 RAW. This is Luger's WWF in-ring debut. Great bit, as Luger makes his douchebaggy, mirrored, pose-filled entrance, the 'hot' RAW Girl is replaced with one I can only assume is related to Yokozuna. See, she's fat is what I'm saying. Nice bit of visual comedy, there. Luger overpowers him in the early going, and stops to pose at every turn. Standing-hammerlock, but Knight grabs the ropes, so Lex levels him with a lariat. Slam across the top rope, and a powerslam set up the Running Forearm Smash - KOing Jason for an arrogant (one pinky) pin at 2:38. Dull squash, but I love the Narcissist character, sue me. DUD

 

WWF Hasbro action figures ad

 

We go back to Madison Square Garden on January 26, as Bret Hart presents the American Red Cross with a check for $100,000 as part of Headlock on Hunger. And he looks mighty pissed to be doing it

 

Todd promises that 'his friend' Hillbilly Jim will be here next week, and he celebrates the occasion by mocking his accent. Well, not I understand why Giant Gonzalez wanted nothing to do with this prick. Be a STAR, Todd

 

We get clips of Hillbilly Jim squashing an unnamed jobber from 1990

 

Todd wraps up, just as Gonzalez shows up, chasing his racist, bullying ass away. Good for him

 

BUExperience: These episodes just fly by, don’t they?