WWF Superstars (March 6, 1993)

Original Airdate: March 6, 1993 (taped February 15)

 

From Long Beach, California; Your Hosts are Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Jerry Lawler

 

Razor Ramon v Brian Boyer: Lawler tries to play up the possibility that Brutus Beefcake will turn on Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania, which may be the only time in history that Hogan actually had a best friend who didn’t turn on him. Or, well, in the WWF at least. Also kind of funny hearing Jerry talk about how Hulk might be betrayed/taken out by a close friend just before the show, considering he had falling out with both the King’s co-hosts before the year was out. Razor’s Edge finishes at 1:54. “He has the gold around his neck, but not around his waist” notes Vince, before comparing him to Mr. T. DUD

 

Three weeks ago, Tatanka defeated WWF Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels in non-title action, and then a week later pinned him again during a six-man tag on Monday Night RAW. And Tatanka is so excited about it that he’s trying to literally crush air with his bare hands

 

Crush v Louie Spicolli: And speaking of crushing things… it’s Crush, and you know what that means: Randy Savage yelling ‘shaka’ every five seconds as if completely beyond his control. It’s like he has a very specific form of tourettes. Head vice finishes at 2:23. A pretty laidback squash for Crush this week. You’d think guys never watched old Road Warrior matches the way they’re sleepwalking through some of their appearances. DUD

 

Giant Gonzalez is so excited for WrestleMania IX that he’s losing control of his motor skills. Maybe he and Savage can get some help together. Just tell Randy there’s a potential two-for-one deal, he’ll be there

 

The Steiner Brothers are excited about their first WrestleMania! Hearing Scott do awkward white meat babyface promos is so strange in hindsight

 

Jim Duggan is basically blaming the fans for getting wrecked by Yokozuna a few weeks ago. And kind of pointing the finger at his pregnant wife, too, while he’s at it. All kidding aside, it’s too bad we never got to explore a heel Duggan character in the WWF. He was looking more out of place by the day in 1993, and it might have been an interesting change for the character

 

The Headshrinkers v Gary Key and Davey Starr: Afa split screens in to cut a promo on the Steiner Brothers. I think. The flying splash finishes at 2:45. This wasn’t anything, but at least it felt like the Headshrinkers were trying to wow someone with their time, so points for that. ¼*

 

Ray Rougeau brings WWF Champion Bret Hart out to put Yokozuna over as a huge threat ahead of WrestleMania. Bret was never the flashiest promo guy, but he felt like a real dude, and his stuff could connect with you on a very basic, real level. Like, he just talks to you, as opposed to shouting at you. And that was a welcome change of pace in 1993, and it still works now

 

Bam Bam Bigelow v Brian West: The announcers ignore the match to talk about Hulk Hogan, like it’s Nitro, or something. Bigelow with the flying headbutt drop at 1:14. Bam Bam was pretty directionless at this point, but he was trying out there.  ¼*

 

The Mega Maniacs are ready to take the tag title at WrestleMania. Jimmy Hart is so out of place with them, and it just doesn’t work at all. And speaking of out of place, this whole team felt like relics from a bygone era at this stage, which is kind of crazy considering the entire promotion was being built around Hogan just a year earlier

 

Gene Okerlund is in the studio with the WrestleMania IX Report. You know, watching this show, I’d really say that they really really really really want you to buy WrestleMania. It’s subtle, but it’s there. Gene notes that we’ll be returning to the ‘days of the ancient Roman empire,’ which is fitting given how dated Hulk and Beefcake were

 

Giant Gonzalez is in the ring looking for Undertaker. Who is not there, and was never there. This was missing Tony Schiavone yelling about how Giant ‘isn’t on the format sheet’

 

The Steiner Brothers v Bill Marcetti and Dan Farren: Farren is Beau Beverly under a mask this week, which is weird. Like, it’s understandable if the real Farren missed his flight, or was injured, or whatever, but it’s not like he’s an advertised star that anyone’s going to miss. Why not just make up another name if you’re throwing Beau under a mask? Where’s Jack Victory when you need him? Scott Steiner with the Frankensteiner on ‘Farren’ at 2:13. DUD

 

Crush is mad about Doink putting him in the hospital. And you know he means it because he calls him ‘bro,’ and not even ‘brah.’ But he does still manage to scream ‘shaka’ at least twelve times, so hopefully he made up whatever Savage missed on the weekly quota

 

WWF Champion Bret Hart doesn’t care what the odds makers say, he’s not about to quit in the face of the challenge of Yokozuna. I love Bret, but did we really need two monologue promos from him on the same episode?

 

BUExperience: They were really hard selling the hell out of WrestleMania here, even a full month out. And what’s kind of sad is that they were going all in on it, but literally nothing going on here made me want to see the show in any way at all.