WWF Prime Time Wrestling (May 5, 1986)

Original Airdate: May 5, 1986

 

Your Hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan in the studio. Boy, Gorilla sure dressed like shit, didn’t he? I’m pretty sure that shirt wasn’t fashionable in 1986, 1976, 1966, or 19-any six

 

Terry Funk and Dory Funk Jr v Ivan McDonald and Jeff Gripley: From Poughkeepsie New York on February 18 1986. Ivan… McDonald? The ring seems huge here. I’m rather certain it’s no bigger than usual, but something about the angle makes it seem like a freaking ocean. McDonald actually has a pretty good look, though he never made it past enhancement talent, so I guess he was pretty terrible in the ring, or otherwise limited. Interesting how they would run this same building all the time in the mid-90s, but they dressed it up so much better for TV in those days. It really looks like a high school gymnasium here. Gorilla talks about how Dory wants to start being called ‘Hoss,’ but let’s just stick with Dory, thanks. Dory with a Texas cloverleaf at 5:14. The Funks were pretty energetic here. ½*

 

Back in the studio, Gorilla and Bobby discuss the finish of the tag title match at WrestleMania 2 in the same way two pals might over beers. And that’s what makes it so great!

 

Salvatore Bellomo v Bobby Heenan: From New York City on November 26 1984. I like how Bellomo is introduced as simply ‘from Italy.’ It’s a whole country, you guys! Heenan stalls in the early going, but Bellomo gets him in the corner, and unloads. Cross corner whip is sold with zeal by the Brain, and he bails to regroup. Inside, Bellomo uses a headscissors takedown and a dropkick to send Heenan bumping into the corner again, and Bobby ends up on the outside once more. Inside, Bobby goes to the eyes to subdue Bellomo, and Heenan works a chinlock from there. Bellomo escapes, so Bobby backdrops him to keep control, and he delivers a few kneedrops for two. Criss cross allows Bellomo a shoulderblock, with Heenan sells it like he’s made of rubber. But is Sal glue? Because I’ve heard a rhyme like that somewhere. Bellomo pounds him down, so Bobby goes to the eyes again, and dumps Sal to the outside. Bobby snaps his throat across the top rope on the way back in, but Bellomo fires back with a slingshot sunset flip - only for Heenan to punch him to block the cradle, and then sit down for the pin at 8:56. A pretty rare clean pinfall victory for the Brain, wow. As usual, Heenan could be counted on to be a bump machine. He’s one of the more underrated bump guys of all time, really. *

 

Back in the studio, Heenan gloats about his win, as Gorilla pines to replace Heenan with Miss Elizabeth as his co-host. Something tells me that Randy Savage wasn’t watching these shows - that something being that Gorilla lived past May 5, 1986

 

Gene Okerlund catches up with Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff, who say… stuff. The poor closed caption people for the Network, you guys have my deepest sympathies

 

B. Brian Blair v Iron Mike Sharpe: From NYC on August 25 1984. Sharpe stalls to start, and for good reason, as Blair schools him during a criss cross, and uses a pair of dropkicks to send Mike to the outside. Sharpe goes to the eyes to shake him off on the way back inside, but Blair wins another exchange with a monkeyflip out of the corner, and a headscissors sends Mike back to the outside. Inside, Sharpe tries to sucker him with a cheap shot, but Blair is too sharp. Mike manages a backbreaker into a submission, and he dumps Blair to the outside for some abuse on the floor. Sharpe won’t let him back inside, so Blair rolls under the ring, and pops out on the other side to sneak attack. Blair unloads, and a 2nd rope elbowsmash sends Sharpe to the outside. Brian dives after him with another elbowsmash from the apron, and they brawl out there for a double countout at 13:03. This was super super basic, but not poorly worked, and they did a good job of constantly engaging the crowd. *

 

Lanny Poffo v Gladiator: From Poughkeepsie on November 12 1985. Gladiator really does not look anything like a Gladiator, that much is for sure. For a promotion that prided itself on over the top gimmicks, they couldn’t think of something better to do with a guy called ‘Gladiator’ than send him out there in collegiate wrestling gear? And I get that he’s just enhancement, but still. What would TL Hopper say? Gosh! They trade off on the mat for a while, as Gorilla grills Greg Valentine (on commentary, for some reason) about various title defense rules and regulations. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Greg do commentary, and it might be the most interesting part of this match, actually. Poffo catches him with a springboard flying moonsault at 5:18. Not much to this one. ¼*

 

Back in the studio, Gorilla wonders if Bobby has King Kong Bundy on any special kind of diet. I don’t know, is McDonalds special now?

 

Okerlund catches up with WWF Intercontinental Champion Randy Savage, and boy, there was no one on earth who could make talking about nothing as engaging as Randy Savage could

 

Donna Christianello v Linda Gonzalez: From Poughkeepsie on November 12 1985. Linda takes her down and works the leg right away, but Donna takes control by working the neck. Linda fights her off and works the arm, as Gorilla shits on the refereeing, since he just can’t help himself. Donna dodges a charge in the corner, and she hooks Linda in a bridging cradle at 5:16. Yawn. DUD

 

Tony Garea and Tony Atlas v Steve Lombardi and Menace: From Poughkeepsie on April 21 1986. Menace is yet another random masked guy with no discernable features of character traits. Apparently Garea and Atlas were not a regular team at all, so I’m surprised this even got featured for TV. The announcers have spent literally this entire show (which had commentary recorded from many different sessions) talking about the British Bulldogs winning the tag title at WrestleMania, just showing you how important the belts used to actually be once upon a time, and how major changes were. Atlas with a press-slam to set up a splash at 3:07. ¼*

 

The Hart Foundation v Mario Mancini and Ron Dee: From Poughkeepsie on July 30 1985. The on-screen graphic spells it as ‘Brett Hart,’ which is some WCW level attention to detail. The Hart’s are wearing black with red trim at this point, without even a hint of pink yet (or even the blue that came before pink). Hart Attack finishes at 4:24. The Foundation already looked like big stars here. ¼*

 

Bobby notes that he likes Jimmy Hart because he traded him King Kong Bundy for Adrian Adonis. Yeah, I’d like Jimmy after that, too

 

Ted Arcidi v Chuck Simpson: From Poughkeepsie on February 18 1986. Simpson does a pec flex during the introductions like he’s Lex Luger, or someone. Yeah, enjoy getting squashed, dork. Arcidi throws him around (with Chuck not even taking half the stuff properly), and Arcidi uses an overhead backbreaker submission at 2:43. DUD

 

Gorilla puts over WWF Tag Team Champions The British Bulldogs by basically calling them Joe Pesci

 

King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd v Jim Powers and Michael Saxon: From Poughkeepsie on January 7 1986. Saxon seems to be channeling Eddie Murphy here, and since it’s 1986, can you blame him? So, the idea here is that Bundy and Studd are big. Really, really big. It’s interesting that Bundy looked huge in 1986 (when the WWF was still truly a land of giants), but looked significantly less impressive when he came back in the mid-90s, even with everyone off the gas. Bundy with the five count at 4:14 - which is another thing that didn’t get over at all in the 90s. DUD

 

Gorilla and Bobby wrap up, and they put Bundy and Studd over as the next big threat to the Bulldogs’ tag title, though that didn’t go anywhere beyond a single match on Championship Wrestling that the Bulldogs won by DQ

 

BUExperience: It’s interesting how each episode has had something of a theme thus far. Like, last week’s was all about Gorilla taunting Bobby about Bundy losing at WrestleMania. This week, it was all about the tag title switch at that same show. It’s not a big thing, but it gives the show a certain flavor that’s lacking from a lot of modern wrestling.